It never ends!

I hope some of you have been keeping up with the 100 articles in 10 days event. I had fun doing it and there was good info on there other than my mindless drivel.

So apparently my guest week has seeped over into guest month. Some people just have shit to do. Luckily, they can find some free time to interject their thoughts into our lives. So grab some popcorn cuz' this one's long (that's what she said). Oh, if yer offended by naughty words.... what the hell are you doing reading this in the first place? I give to you the Pitbull of Magic - Christopher Lyle.
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A Double Standard

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm quite vocal about anything and everything on many of the magic forums...particularly the green monster. From time to time a discussion pops up concerning the appropriateness of certain effects in the realm of Children's Entertainment.

Now granted...I do not consider myself a "Kid Show Magician," but I can certainly perform for younglings. I love children. Not like your creepy Uncle who use to buy you lunch and then follow you into the men's room, but I think you know where I'm coming from.

I do not spend my advertising dollars on the kid show market. I have purposely priced myself out of that market because performing for children is not my target demographic. I'm not saying it's beneath me... it's just that in my life I have performed over 5000 kid shows (approximately give or take a few) and I'm done! Onto bigger and better things. New challenges. However... if a client calls me up and is willing to pay my fee for Little Johnny's 7th Birthday, then I'm there!

But back on point.

Why is that Magicians tend to invent problems that shouldn't even exist. As I said above, from time to time, the Kid Show Magicians will ask for advice on using certain props/routines in their shows. An example of this would be:

Does anyone use a head chopper in a school show. I have a nice one but I feel unsure about putting into my show if there are children present. I wouldn't want for anyone to become offended or for a child to try and imitate what I do in my show and become injured... blah blah, blah.

This post will then spawn 10 pages of complete bullshit from a bunch of fucktards who never actually perform for anyone but the man in the mirror and couldn't entertain a person high on nitrous oxide all saying that you should never perform something dangerous in front of children because what if after your show, they go home and blow their fucking brains out with a shotgun because they saw you do it during your show. (Wow...was that one sentence?)

Just recently over at the green monster, one of these fucktards brought up the fact that he has even stopped using eggs in his show out of fear that a broken egg on the floor may cause a hazard and a child could injure themselves.

WTF????

Has our society really gone so down hill, that we need to be concerned about performing with an egg out of fear that it could injure someone? That has to be the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard in my entire life! The same could be said about Silks as well. Hell...why even do a show? You could invite someone on stage, they could trip on the staircase leading up to the stage, splitting their skull open and spilling their brains out onto the floor putting them into a coma. Jesus Christ!

Here's my take...

As long as you provide FULL DISCLOSURE to the client during the booking process as far as what your show is all about, then your off the hook! If someone get's hacked off over the material in your show, then you can direct them to the person who booked you.

To site the above example... you tell your potential client that your show has a Head Chopper in it. The caller thinks it's cool and decides to book you. You go out and perform your act. After your show, some uptight square (usually a women) comes to you yelling and screaming b/c you did a head chopper in front of children.

Your response can now be "I told Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So at the time of booking that I do a Head Chopper in my act and they gave me the green light. Go tell your story walking bitch...if you don't like it, then go yell at them!"

It's ALL about entertainment people. My Stand Up Cabaret Show is called Concentrated Insanity (a name that was provided to me by Bizzaro after he watched my act). I consider my show to be family friendly as I do not use any vulgarity nor any blue humor (at least not for a family audience).

However, the actual magic performed in my act would be exactly the same if I were performing for a child's birthday party, a corporate event, or a nightclub. The only thing that would be altered would be some of the humor used.

Concentrated Insanity has something for everyone. It has classical magic with a modern day spin along with elements of danger with a magical twist. I do not do a head chopper b/c they always scream "prop" to me and have never looked very menacing...which is the only way that I'd ever use one if my show.

But my act does involve Fire Eating/Manipulation, Tetanus (Randi Rain's Spike Roulette), Razor Blades, Knife thru Arm, the Balloon Swallow, a Straight Jacket Escape, etc. just to name a few.

I have performed all of those routines in schools before 100s of kids ranging in age from 6 to 12+ to great applause and I DO get called back to perform at those schools over and over again. Why? Because my show is DIFFERENT! It's not the same old Change Bags and Stratosphere bullshit that has been hacked over now for 100s of years.

Now don't get me wrong...my show is NOT danger after danger after danger. I do strike a balance. For me, a full hour show (depending on my mood) may consist of:

Linking Rings
Fire Eating/Manipulation
Rope Routine
Coke Bottle Vanish
Cardiograpic
Needle Thru Balloon
Razor Blades
Gypsy Thread
Snow

There is something in that show for EVERYONE! Mystery, Magic, and Mayhem. It's all about ENTERTAINMENT!

The natural argument usually goes something like this:

Fucktard: Children will try to duplicate what they see a magician do on stage. It's irresponsible to perform anything dangerous or even something that gives the illusion of danger in front of children.

I don't care how often you say "Don't try this at home", they will try it at home. I hope you never have to live with the knowledge that something you did caused a child harm when they tried it themselves.

I've been listening to that same tired argument for years now from other Magicians. I dismiss it and I'll tell you why.

First of all, I have found that no matter what you do, you will never be able to please 100% of your audience 100% of the time. It's just not going to happen! I would estimate that out of 100 shows, I may get one person (again...usually a women) that will come up to me complaining about some of my selections in the show. It's so very rare, but it does happen from time to time.

Truthfully, it seems to me that the majority of folks who take issue with this are overly sensitive magicians who are so concerned with being Politically Correct that they condemn themselves to Change Bags and Run Rabbit Run.

My answer to the above argument is quite simple. How can a child duplicate what they see me do during my show?

Let's chat first about RAZORS. Truth be told, double edged Razor Blades are not even that relevant anymore. Much like wearing a monocle in ones eye would seem out of place, so are double edged razors. But people can still identify with them as something sharp and potentially life threatening, especially when placed in ones cake hole! But that's another story for another time...

Back on topic. Where is a child going to get a double edged razor blade? That's not usually something that is kept in the home. A child would need to go out and buy them. What idiot would sell a child a packet of razor blades???

Also, (since I brought up how this item isn't very current in today's society) it's becoming harder and harder to find Double Edged Razor Blades in stores. The Wal-Mart out by me no longer sells them. The last time I was there, I was talking to the stock person who told me they no longer sell them, but he had about 4 packages in the back (which I bought up). Walgreens no longer sells them either (at least in my neck of the woods).

So these aren't' even easily obtainable by an adult let alone a child. So how would a child emulate me performing my razor blade routine? Hmmm...I think not!

Now let's chat about FIRE! Where is a child going to get the material to perform fire eating/manipulation? To do a basic fire eating act you need the following:

- A Lighter
- Fuel
- A Container to Hold the Fuel
- A Torch or Torches
- A Fire Extinguisher

Where is a child going to get all of this from? They would have to go out and buy it. Again...what idiot in their right mind would SELL THIS STUFF to a minor? Let's just say for the sake of saying it, that some idiot did sell a torch, lighter, and fuel to a child (which would NEVER happen). So now little Johnny is out in the back yard and he lights up a torch. Little Johnny assumes the fire eating stance and starts to bring the torch close to their face. They feel the heat and how hot it is...so they pull back!

NO KID IS EVER GOING TO PUT FIRE IN THEIR MOUTH!

Now let's talk about the BALLOON SWALLOW. Where is a child going to get a 260 balloon to swallow? Hmmmm... True... they could go to a store and buy 260s if they know what to look for. However, a 260 fully inflated is too wide to fit into a child's mouth. It won't fit! It's a physical impossibility. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

To use my previous example, the same could be said of a HEAD CHOPPER. Just insert HEAD CHOPPER above where I have said RAZOR BLADES or FIRE or BALLOONS.

The whole point of all this is If a child is able to gain access to any of the stuff I have mentioned above then seeing my show is the LEAST of their problems!

WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS???? It's up to the parents to teach their children that they are not to do what they see the Magician do. If a child sees me or anyone performing something dangerous and doesn't have the common sense to talk to their child and exhibit a little bit of parenting, then if their child injures themselves while playing the Angry Magician game, as unfortunate as that would be, it's the parents fault, not mine!

There is MUCH MORE DANGER represented on your local news, on TV Shows, in the Movies, etc. Hell...you can go to YouTube and watch people setting themselves on fire and swallowing a sword and then shitting into a cup. It's crazy!

People should give the kids of today a tad more credit then they do. Kids are smart (far smarter than most adults I find). Most kids wouldn't be dumb enough to try this stuff. If they are that stupid, then their parents are to blame for not doing their job as parents.

Let me throw a different slant on this for a minute. I have been to Ringling Brothers Circus every year for the last 10 years. The circus (geared towards families and children) is LOADED WITH DANGEROUS STUFF. I have seen people juggle fire while on a 10 foot unicycle, perform fire eating and blowing, putting their heads in the mouths of lions and tigers, swinging from a trapeze, being shot a 1/2 mile out of a cannon, etc.

After the circus, if a child were to go home and try and stick his head in the family dogs mouth and gets injured or ties a rope between to houses and falls while attempting a High Wire Act, who should be held responsible? The circus? FUCK NO! The parents would be held responsible!

There seems to be a double standard. Why is ok for kids to watch danger in a Circus or on TV or on YouTube or in the Movies, but it's taboo outside of those arenas? It's pure rubbish!

It's this kind of mindless nonsense that gives magic such a bad rap. People don't really know how good magic can be. Why? Because their only experience with Magic is some guy doing 20th Century Silks at a Birthday Party and pulling a rabbit out of a hat. As a community of Magicians, I fear that many of us do more harm than good. We have gotten so PC when it comes to performing for kids that many of the shows lack ANY ENTERTAINMENT VALUE WHATSOEVER!

As of late, I have been doing quite a bit of soul searching about my magic and what it means to me. Tho' my show is riddled with humor, insanity, and zanyness, I do consider myself a serious performance artist. I enjoy performing for people who enjoy magic...however, it seems to me as the years go on, that finding "adults" who enjoy watching the fine art of magic are becoming fewer and fewer.

Why is this?

I believe that there is a negative perception that has been around for 1000s of years that magic is nothing more than entertainment for children. I think that most people, when they think of what magic is, will always remember a time when they attended a birthday party (either as a child or an adult) where they saw Grandpa Earl dressed up in his Lodge Jacket wearing his Benevolent Order of Antelope Fez hacking thru his exciting rendition of Hippy Hop Rabbits and Stratosphere with 50 yards of multicolored silks tied together coming out of his sleeve.

Sadly, there are MANY ACTS out there in the trenches today that are EXACTLY as I described above. So long as Magicians continue to perform this lame ass crap with stock presentations, the perception will never go away.

It's that reason that I feel I need my show to be different from the normal "kids show" that people are accustomed to watching. It's my hope that YOU feel the same way about YOUR SHOW!

The society that we live in today is far different from that of say 20+ years ago. The world is changing and if we as entertainers do not change with it, then I fear Magicians will become nothing more than a bad punch line... which technically, we already are.

To close, I will leave you with this final thought. Follow these three rules:

1. Do your act
2. Do it well
3. Be entertaining

If you follow those 3 simple steps, then your well on your way to success. Now go out there an ma-jish!

I'll be watching!

Christopher Lyle is one of hardest working table hoppers in the Dallas/Ft. Worth Area. We think he's had all of his shots. Want to praise or bitch? Go to his website and email him. www.lylemagic.com

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Don't say I didn't warn you...

Bizzaro.

A valid point...

I just wanted to share this. Found it on the Genii forum. It's a diatribe about the cons of zombie performance. (If you don't know what I am talking about, look in the back of your toilet.)

"If you're going to perform a Zombie, please leave out the move in which the ball seems to want to escape, but is gently pulled back by the mage, who used the cloth to reverse the ball's direction.

Physics dictates that the ball would continue along it's chosen path, while the mage's action would pull the cloth off."

It's so totally true. I Never really thought of it before. It's another Broom in the Corner.

And another brick in the wall.

Bizzaro.

Community theater..

Here is how I picture how some magicians go about their video production.

"Hey check it out I bought this awesome HD camera, wicked light kit, and great microphone."
"Nice. Where is the tripod?"
"...."
"You have a tripod don't you?"
"I ran out of money...."
"They're like TWELVE BUCKS at Radioshack!!"
"I know, I'll just hold it! It'll be fine!"
(Facepalm)

For the love of people, BUY A DAMN TRIPOD!! You're making some of us sea sick.

The magic is fine tho'.

Bizzaro.

High School Magic

I hope you folks are enjoying the articles I have been posting elsewhere. To fill the gaps over here we have a late entry into the guest week. It's ok, we won't hold it against him. Love him or hate em' folks, here's the nicest dead man I know - Todd Diamond.

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Lies, cheats, and thieves, that is what we are taught to do in the art of magic. This is our craft to misdirect and to deceive the audience. The reason for this memo, or article, or what ever you want to call it is to point out the truth in our business. We are trained to do all these things for entertainment purposes; however the majority of the people in our art choose to do it to each other. Look at all the Criss Angel and David Blaine haters in our business. Why is that the case? Simple, in one word jealousy! People work all their lives to be successful in their chosen careers and some don’t make it and a lucky few do.

High school was almost the same thing as getting involved in this fucked up business. All the backstabbing, lack of respect for others, only trying to make yourself look better, and who has the best and latest thing.

The reason for the High school reference is evident in the story I am about to share. A few days ago I visited a friend that I considered a good friend and he happens to be a magician. He is very creative and very good but his attitude has held him back for years. He has improved and really is becoming everything that he should become, however this situation is similar to high school, which really concerns me.

After breakfast we were talking about a new show that wasn’t even magic related and how he is in the pilot but didn’t get asked back. He was wondering who else might be on the show and I really did not know, however I believe that is something that should not be on his mind. I get a phone call from one of my best friends in the world (love you bitch) and we started talking and to make a long story short I mentioned an effect to him. I get off the phone and my other friend wanted to know about the effect, I tell him what the effect is and then he asked what the method was. It is not my effect to share and I was asked not to share the method. I said” sorry but I told them I would not share it since they asked me not to”. I then realized at that point how high school magicians really are. He thought because I wouldn’t share the secret that I wasn’t his friend, those may not be exact words however it was pretty much what was said.

So I am respecting the wishes of my friend and my other friend does not like that and does not see what a great quality it is to have honesty and be true to your word. This is not the first time in magic this has happened; in fact I could write a book about this subject. The normal person in the world does not wonder how the TV works, the computer works, or how sex works (trust me a lot don’t know this one), yet they still use and do those things daily. Why do magicians need to know methods of effects? The method really does not matter and does not make a good magician or entertainer. In fact some of the simplest magic is the best.

I challenge all those finger flicking bitches to entertain because that is the whole point of what we do! Don’t get me wrong I love finger flicking stuff, sleights and all that good stuff but the bottom line is that it doesn’t fucken matter to the audience. The method is a means to an end and that end should be about your audience not you! I will say this if you care more about method then entertaining you will be lost in the world of high school magic and will never graduate to the next level and that level can only be defined by you. Other magicians may have experience and know things, however they are not you. What works for me does not mean it will work for you and vice versa. I have a friend who is well known in this business and he will always say try something but if it doesn’t fit your character or you then don’t bother. If I show him something he will eventually ask me does it fit my personality and if not why am I wasting my time.

On the flip side of these writings, I really love the art of magic and feel that over the last several years magic is being ruined by people with the thought that methods are more important than being good entertainers. The only way to stop this is for me to stop hanging out with lying, cheating, thieving magicians. I am only limited to my imaginations and the two magicians I trust and care about as people that believe the way I do about being respectful to each other.

This is the only business that I have experienced that has this high school drama attached to it all the time. Sure it is normal to some extent but in our art that is all there is unless someone gets lucky enough to get off the magic café (the new drug of choice for magicians that can’t entertain) and do a fucken show for a hundred bucks!

After 12 years in this business, I have decided to move on and do what I do but not surround myself around whining, negative, and high school bitches!

This is not directed to one individual; however it is directed to all you assholes that fucken think you are better than everyone and think that the method is more important. The bottom line is if you have any of these qualities and don’t care about respecting your peers... THEN FUCK OFF!

Todd Diamond
www.tpdmagic.com
www.magicfromthegrave.com

And 50 other domains I own that I might or might not use!

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Don't worry kids, he's had all his shots... I think.

Bizzaro.

So as some of you saw, guest week was rather short. Too many people with better things to do.. like paint their lawn or something.

Regardless, I haven't forgotten about my little poptarts who read this silly little journal. However, I have been busy busy making sponge balls for you bastards. So if you are in dire need to get a fix of the ol' Bizzaro charm, I am involved in an interesting little gambit. Over at this guys blog, I am one of ten performers writing 100 article in 10 days.

I am the token magician and I am writing content exclusive to this event only. You might notice some reoccurring themes here and there from this journal to that one, but unless you have read all 5+ years worth, I doubt it.

Regardless, enjoy that and I will be chiming in from time to time on an incredibly unreliable schedule.

Between balls that is...

Bizzaro.

One singular sensation..

I just got done watching the first ten minutes or so of a video that teaches you to perform the invisible deck with a regular deck of cards. (If you don't know what an invisible deck is, stop reading this right now and smack yourself in the head with the keyboard)

I don't understand why anyone would EVER want to do the ID with a normal deck. I don't care how much you boast about how yours is clean or better or whatever. Read this next line slowly: YOU CAN'T IMPROVE ON A TRICK THAT DOES THE WORK FOR YOU! This is like someone saying, "Well the wheel works alright and all, but I bet I can make it better." Leave well enough alone you silly gits!!

If you really want to buy a video that teaches you to do the ID deck better, I mean if the urge really is that strong to spend money on something, find something that will teach you a good deck switch and go from there. If you really have to complain about carrying around two decks of cards on your person, then you are in the wrong business my friend. Maybe being a mime is more your speed.

So my tip to you is don't be fooled into thinking you need to improve upon something that doesn't need it. Chances are the thing that needs the most improvement in your magic career...

is you.

Bizzaro.

Guest Week 2: Electric Bugaboo

Today's entry comes from a good friend of mine from Texas. He's creative, funny, and skinny as a rail. The best trick he does is turn sideways and vanish. I shit you not!

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BY: Aaron Stone

I have started this article five times now, gotten distracted, and tried again. I'm sitting right now in a hospital waiting room... yay...

The last time I wrote for Bizzaro's blog, I was nearly held at gunpoint. Actually, it was more like this: I went to his house, was led to the laptop, and forced to do nothing else unless I filled the gap in his guest spot for the week, fed Michelina's frozen dinners, smacked by a Wii remote, beaten by Tigger Tails, even suffocated with a fedora... okay, not really, but it was completely unexpected.

Yet again I have the honor of being told there is an open invitation! That's almost a request! So, naturally, I've jumped on my girlfriend's laptop (shuddup) and started typing away.

I now get to rant about one thing that really pisses me off! PONIES.

That's right. Ponies.

Not like, “oh, I want a pony for my birthday,” that every girl (and some of you boys) want, but the one-trick ponies that claim to be magicians in our world today. The ones who claim to do “tricks” and feel like that's quality entertainment. That's a problem, and I've found an effective solution: Nerve gas.

The kids (well, grown people too) that learn a trick from YouTube or a drunk guy in a brothel and immediately go show everyone they can (poorly) and claim they are magicians need to be thrown into a room littered with sharp objects and instruments of destruction and force-fed good, high-quality magic footage. Why?

“Anyone can do a magic trick. Only a magician can do magic.” Even if someone knows thousands of tricks, they are not a magician. A magician is more than someone who has too much free-time and zero remaining social life. Much like a mortician, magicians need to know everything. Which is why we can be so cocky sometimes.

Magicians need to be well-versed in theatrical performance, stage lighting, set design, writing/scripting, timing, costuming, make-up, mechanics, construction, psychology, business management, current events and world news, study of competition, marketing, physical therapy, public relations, and various other technical skills. Show me one full-time professional who doesn't fit this, and I'll eat Bizzaro's hat. (Editor's note: The hell he will)

So what really, truly separates the pros from the soon-to-be-nuked populous of 21-cardtrickville? Entertainment. Whether it be funny, serious, dramatic, esoteric, satirical, or insipid... entertainment value is what draws the line. A professional magician can take the simplest trick (one that a metric ton of imbeciles would dismiss as “a lame trick”) and turn it into a masterpiece that will leave a lasting impression on the audience. (NOTE: Lasting impression, as compared to the depression left by a falling anvil, taken to the face).

A trick is just that: a trick. The effect accomplished is in the hands of the performer, and the more tools and subtleties used in proper moderation, the better. The amount of entertainment is dependent on the performer, how much practice he/she puts into it, and the receptiveness of the audience. (Yes, I left a window open for a cop-out later on. There is such a thing as a bad audience).

Where does that leave us? Ponies! Oh yea! Okay, so even if a one-trick pony knows a thousand tricks but treats them all the same and shows them all in the same way (in an unrehearsed, unpracticed and immature fashion... seemingly trying to fit into a music video that would obviously be edited later) it still only knows one trick: ambitious lame.

Let's stamp it into the brains of the one-trick youtube star-wannabe's: Knowing how to do a magic trick doesn't constitute calling yourself a magician. A paycheck for your labors of your craft that covers more than your gas to get there... that does. A kit that says, “Learn all the tricks in here to become a REAL magician” DOES NOT. Surviving, supporting your family, taking it seriously and not perpetuating the crap in the market DOES. Doing every trick you can possibly afford to buy off the shelves of your local magic store does NOT make you a magician. Being creative, original, and working hard to improve yourself and your act DOES.

Basically, take it seriously or don't call yourself a magician. Right now, most “magicians” only know enough to be dangerous.

Which is why I opt for nerve gas.

Aaron Stone is a full-time performer in the DFW area, currently hiding his car from the bank and has just been put on the Ramen Noodle diet. Shaving with a broken spoon and defending himself by watching “Walker: Texas Ranger” re-runs, he can be reached with a rope ladder and a peace offering of York™ Peppermint Patties, or by e-mail aaron@aaronthemagician.com.

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Hopefully we'll have more special guest goodness for you tomorrow.

Bizzaro.

Guest week: The search for Spock

I told you we were gonna have a guest week again. It seems no one was brave enough to want to do this on their own. This is why I have a file folder of blackmail information on many of the people I know. I can get them to write things for me. things like this...

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From: Justin Robert Young

I don't get message boards.

Of my main interests that I've spent most of my digital life hunting for information about (i.e. sports, magic, news, movies etc.) all have vibrant message board communities spread amongst many well-run sites. Yet, I've never spent more than a passing few moments needling about various threads and replies.

At this point I'm willing to concede that it's a "me problem." I understand why others find such value in them, however, personally the negatives far outweigh the positives.

- The information is decentralized. Someone might be making the best point on the planet and I won't know it unless I happen to stumble upon it.

- There is a burden for all who participate to contribute something of worth. Knowledge, insight, a silly photoshop. Invariably, many of those who post the most don't come through on their end of the bargain. I tend to resent it and therefore ONLY post when I have something truly original to say, which isn't very often.

And finally, the big kahuna:

- The community is insular to a fault. Every new or prospective poster is guilty until proven innocent by those who call the board home. Meanwhile, close quarters breed resentment, anger, hostility and general angst amongst a group of otherwise like-minded fellows. Sarcastic comments are read as hateful screeds, which leads to a return-fire volley of expletives, which leads to bans, which leads to appeals to bans, which leads to someone(s) being called Hitler(s).

The owner of this blog said on his last appearance on the Magic Week in Review that getting into fights on a message board, it's like racing at the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you're still retarded.

Is the comment mean? Sure.

Funny? Yup.

We even got a rare complaint email about it. Of note, the letter writer was decrying the tone of the statement and although they didn't specify I assume the inclusion of a vulnerable element of society like the mentally handicapped.

They, presumably, had no issue with the accuracy of the statement.

JRY can be found chained to his computer slaving away to bring you the best and most up to date news at itricks.com

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There is still time to submit something as I have one or two slots left.

Bizzaro.

I hate to do this but...

Sometimes, I just have to share how I feel for others to read and possibly disagree with. This effect seems like one of those things magicians will go (radio) ga ga over and will fall flat when performed for real people.

It might be the slow tedious seriousness of the demo video, but it bores the hell out of me. The only way to sell this to real people would be to let them frisk you before and after the effect. How many of us don't have cards and fake limbs and jello in their pockets? Seems impractical to me.

Often I look at stuff like this and ask myself, "Do I have something just as strong, if not stronger in my repertoire already?

The answer is usually yes.

Bizzaro.

I have decided in my infinite wisdom, it is again time for another "Guest Week" here on WAISIMH. (Wow that Acronym kinda sucks....)

Anyway, if you want to volunteer to write some pretty words for me for next week, hit me up! I will also be asking some fiends and colleagues as well.

You have been warned!

Bizzaro.

Getting swept away...

A few years back I did a lecture at the Dallas, TX magic club. A good chunk of that lecture (and all of the ones I do) talk about creativity and character. Afterwords, a friend of mine (who incidentally was the one who taught me how to shove a nail into my face) came up to me and told me about a bit of theory that he and his wife subscribe to and are always checking themselves against it.

With his permission, I am going to give you that bit of information and expound upon it in my own little way. This one goes out to all my honkies in the sticks. It's called the Broom in the Corner theory and it goes a little something like this...

Suppose you are sweeping your kitchen or some such other surface and then your phone rings or someone knocks on your door. Since you're in the middle of what you are doing, you set the broom into a corner it doesn't go in. Time passes and you mean to get back to sweeping, but other shiny things keep distracting you. Eventually the broom stays in that spot so long, that's where it comes to live. That's not where it originally was stored, but now... it is.

We do that in magic quite a bit. We'll get complacent with a move or patter or theory or... whatever. We give it nary a second thought and just come to believe that's how it's always been. It's because of this we don't question our motivations or use of certain props. As youngins we start out using dove pans gaudy painted boxes and various card sleights. We use these items for so long we don't move away from them and if we do... it's not very far.

Next time you do a show, video tape it. Then watch it... a few times. Take a step back and ask yourself, "Why am I doing that exactly?" You might find you can open your eyes to new possibilities and find a better way to present or perform something and make it your own. You might even find a new place for that broom suspension...

like in the corner.

Bizzaro.

(Special thanx to Mica and Judy Calfee of Riot Acts Entertainment for letting me use this bit of amusement on my journal.)

Defining you space...

A lot of magic boards have a thread somewhere that invariably asks, "What makes a good magician?"

This is such a subjective question open to hours and hours of debate. Personally I don't have that kind of time what with all of the other important things I have to do... like playing Lego Indiana Jones. Moving on...

Tonight I was watching an old video of a fellow performer and friend, Chris Randall. His onstage persona has changed a bit from when he first started. In the video he did some stuff that a lot of magicians tend to do. With his newer material the magic just kind of... happens.

This raises my question to the lot of you: Are you a "magician" or can you simply do "magic"?

A magician will blow on something to make the magic happen. Things such as making linking rings separate or having an object vanish. A person who does magic will simply cause it to happen with a look or by just doing it. One reeks of cheese. I'll let you guess which one.

Take a look at your preexisting routines. We get so comfortable with some magical moments in our shows we continue to do them without questioning if they are relevant anymore. If you could really do magic would you have to waggle your fingers or open each finger one at a time to show something has vanished? I think not. Sometimes just causing something to happen is more magical than trying to "force" it to occur.

I know we need magical moments in our shows so those watching will understand what we are trying to convey. However, I think we can reach a higher plane of existence with what we are trying to present and what the audience perceives.

Think about it a bit and I'll get back to you.

Bizzaro.

Petered out?

I have had my differences with a few of the Loughran products over the years. Some of them had some deceptive advertising while others I just didn't care for. It happens. I'm a bitter jaded mofo. However, one of his newest products actually has bad-ass possibilities.

I see a LOT of illusions that I don't really care for. Mostly because they are all just variations on a theme or look like a magic prop. I think this new concept (I think it's new anyway. Could be an update to something old) opens up a lot of interesting possibilities for inventive presentation. Science shows, Halloween/ spook shows or hell, just a fun way to ring your magic props into play. It's high praise when I like a box trick.

As much as I like it tho', this is not something I would buy as A: I'm a broke ass nigga and II. I would want it in a smaller size and to look like less of a magic prop. I have no desire to produce a human being from a box. Much like the concept of the Shadow Box illusion, if you make shadows or objects appear at random, producing a person kinda gives away the method if you ask me.

Regardless, I thought this deserved a little look-see so heads up my box lovin' magi. This could be the next big thing you put in your act to replace those horrible cube-zags or knockoff interlude illusions you've been doing...

or gawd forbid, Bowl-a-rama.

Bizzaro.

Beware of what he sells...

"Theres a man going around town
Spreading lies
Hes the bad businessman
Does his business while he can
He just does his business bad."

I was talking to so someone the other day about a stunt they created that has since been lifted and used. Mind you the performer who got his stuff ganked found a way to crank it up to 11 well past what this other individual "borrowed". He kinda shrugged it off and said, "He's a businessman".

This oddly enough coincides with a conversation I read about a month ago on the big green monster about knowingly trying to snake a strolling magic job away from another performer. The consensus was that it's ok if you're a "businessman".

So what I have gathered over the last month is, in the entertainment realm, businessman means a cockbite who hides behind professionalism and profit so he can take what isn't his and be ok with it. Don't believe me? Look at companies like Magic Makers and Houdini's. They knowingly knock off products and sell them for cheap so the profits go away from the originator. They don't have to pay wholesale costs so that way the money can go directly into THEIR pockets.

Of course the quality of these products suffer. Magic Makers sponge balls are terrible. They bleed like a baby crawling on broken glass and have a shape resembling that of a retarded tribble. Places like Houdini's (who I am pretty sure didn't have HIS permission to use that name) will take anything that isn't nailed down and make a lackluster version of it. Patrick Page's easy money is just one recent example.

I know that dollar signs are the only thing in some people's eyes, but if that's what being a "businessman" is all about, I'm glad I kinda suck at it. There's nothing wrong with making money doing something you enjoy but where do we draw the line? If making money is SO important to you that you will step on anyone and anything to make that fat cash, perhaps you need to feel the sting of that kinda theft yourself. Maybe have your house robbed or your bank accounts hacked. Take something from you that YOU care about.

Feel the sting baby!!

Bizzaro.

Cake to whiskey: New from Ellusionist!

Bizzaro.

Wanna have some fun and kill some time? Hell maybe a few brain cells to boot! Watch some Jay Sankey product demos, without the audio, and see if you can tell WTF is going on.

Lemme know how it goes....

Bizzaro.

Why resort to cheap skill?

What is it with magicians releasing gimmicks which promise you the sun, the moon and a handjob under the table that recreate magical effects that could easily by reproduced by a modicum of skillful practice?

Is it because we love the new and shiny? Perhaps we are just lazy bastards... or.. maybe.. just maybe... some evil fucktards are out there praying upon you like Cosmo magazine which likes to swoops down and pick at the remaining bits of many American females' self-esteem.

Could it be they KNOW you'll see this miracle of modern magical technology and you will then think to yourself, "Self, we need that so we too can be magical with no real sacrifice and perhaps we might just set ourselves up to get some nookie."

I don't know if this is the inner dialogue going on in the heads of either sides of the fence but it sure does make you wonder...

don't it?

Bizzaro.

If Hasbro taught me anything...

Remember when you were a kid? Ok well for some of you this was a few weeks ago maybe, but that's not the point... You got a new Transformer toy and before you even bothered to find let alone read the instructions, you were already trying to form that little plastic bastard into.. whatever it looked like on the box? Remember that? Hands? Anyone? I know it wasn't just me, c'mon now...

Regardless, you knew better. Sometimes this would lead to accomplishment.. sometimes it would lead to you looking at Jetfire and saying "How the hell does this thing work?" and then you snap his head off because you decided not to follow proper procedure. That sucks... but you knew better right? My gawd is this going anywhere? Yes... I think.

As magicians we buy something, look at the instructions, learn to do a ghost count (If you don't know what that is, slap yourself in the forehead for me) that is done awkwardly at the fingertips. How many people do you know, yourself included, still do the push me/pull me (hadadada) move in color monte because that's how it was written? Next to the double undercut and the glide, it is one of the most useless moves I happen to know how to do.

We don't question anything. Sure some of us do and we flock to their lectures and buy their videos to learn how they have jumped the shark as it were to create something we apparently couldn't achieve ourselves. We get handed a method or moves and told "this is how this goes" and we believe it. We don't question it. We just merrily roll along. Well friends I am here to tell you a little something....

QUESTION EVERYTHING!!!

Do not be content with what you are fed or handed. Look at it from different angles. Thru different eyes. Under a microscope. Hell try NOT looking at it. See what happens. Think to yourself, "Gee, I sure would like to accomplish X without having to do Y. I wonder if I can do that?" YES YOU CAN!! Don't be afraid to try and try again.. and fail and fail again. You will learn a LOT from your screw ups. However, if you don't practice properly, other people will have a lot to learn from yer screw ups as well.

If you just reject what you know.. or think you know... maybe you can create something that hadn't been thought of before.

Something with sponge balls maybe?

Bizzaro.

Your moment of WTF?



Bizzaro.

Greatness.... on a stiiiiick!



Bizzaro.

I swear I have seen This Act before...

probably at FISM.

Bizzaro.

Here's a few tips...

1. Doing jazz hands doesn't make you mysterious nor magical.

II. If your magic demo takes more than 30 seconds to get to the point, you've lost.

#. I like bubble wrap...

Bizzaro.

Because we have to...

I was just watching Garcia's video "Symphony". He does something that I like, that most videos leave out, but also I find it disconcerting that it needs to be done.

Most magic videos simply explain how something is done and that's it. However, in the era of Youtube crotch magic and "ooh ooh look at my new shiny toy!" it seems we have to hold their hands all the way through the process.

In the video DG not only explains how the effects are accomplished, but also when they should be performed. It kind of bothers me that there needs to be a prerequisite to tell these little puppy magicians who so eagerly pee on the carpet when they learn something new, to hold off and only do certain effects when the need arises.

I understand it's always been like this. When we are young, we want to show off for as long as we can to anyone who is foolish enough to watch. However, in the era of instant gratification magic, we can see ANYONE do it before we actually get it from the proper channels and then just... fugg it up.

Not everyone does this sure, but a lot of warm bodies don't seem to know how to go on the paper properly. I think it's time to whack these people on their collective noses with a rolled up piece of paper...

like a phone book.

Bizzaro.

Linux?

Ok so it's been a while since I reviewed anything on this journal. Those of you who know me also might remember I am a fan of contraption in magic. (I don't care what anyone says, Eric Buss' spring snake launcher is awesome!)

There is a new product that came out a bit back by David Stone called Window. This thing is like a Tenyo effect! The way it works just might be cooler than the effect, however the effects you can do with it are pretty nice. Watch the two trailers at the above link and you will see what I mean.

This is an effect I think would be killer on a TV special. Alas, I myself cannot use it as I only use jumbo index red backed bicycle cards. For those of you who are not so stubborn and picky, look into this.

The best part is, (for them), is the fact that even if you are lucky enough to find this as an illegal download, making the gaff might just be next to impossible. So buy the damn thing and save yourself a headache.

Maybe now we can start liking the French....

Bizzaro.

Unnecessary roughness...

If there is one thing I see a lot of the neo-magi doing on youtube videos nowadays, it's wasted movements.

Don't give me that RCA dog look. You know what I am talking about. Doing in three moves what one could accomplish. (I'm looking, nay glaring at you double undercut using mofos) Stop learning all of the new shiny stuff that comes down the pike and look at the pre-existing routines you already do. See if there is a way to trim away the excess fat from them. Just because YOU can't shed a few pounds doesn't mean your magic can't.

Maybe even take a look at routines you always wanted to do, but shied away because of their abundance of moves. Do what the rest of us lazy bastards do and re-work them to fit your style, handling, and accomplished in as few moves as possible.

Remember what Uncle Bizzaro always sez: "Peanut butter sticks to the roof of your dad's car"... er... I mean, "Magic doesn't have to be hard".

Always make the magic to you, not the other way around. Besides magic instructions aren't rules written in stone...

They're more like guidelines.

Bizzaro.

Your moment of zen...

Bizzaro.

Darkness, all around me...

I would like to take this moment to talk to my brethren who do Illusions.

I know you want to look cool. I know you want to make a flashy entrance or make something appear somehow or another. However, I would like to point out: Shooting bright lights at yer audience from a darkened stage then turning them on quickly to make something appear... ISN'T MAGIC!!

Maybe now that someone told you, cuz' obviously no one has yet, you can open yer eyes, save some cash, and do something interesting.

Thanx,

The Mngmnt.

What did you do Ray?

I was flipping thru the old Tarbell books, (full of hidden knowledge, everyone should own them, yadda yadda, etc etc), and in volume two there is a line I couldn't help but love.

"People judge their gods by the miracles they perform."

Man oh man. Let THAT ONE sink in a bit. When you see someone do the 21 card trick, are you impressed? Hell no. Is anyone? Maybe. Then you see someone levitate, turn 360 degrees in the air, explode and reappear elsewhere... well hell, let's start us a religion and go to Waco!

If you want to be perceived as a powerful figure, do powerful magic. If you want to be seen as Fondles the Clown or someone's creepy uncle, then do shitty pasteboard trickery.

Now I obviously don't mean to be taken a deity literally. (unless you want people to go for that) I just mean to be looked upon as someone who might be cooler than them in some way. It's not just your magic either. It's your personality, dress, character, the whole package. (not YOUR whole package. Save that for "private time")

A good example is a recent contestant on America's Got What the Producers Perceive as Talent. His choice of magic was lackluster. His persona was egotistical and uppity. His dress was alright, but a tad common. No one looked upon him as a higher power at all. His miracles... were all store bought.

So remember: When someone asks you if you are a god....

YOU SAY YES!

Bizzaro.

Death drop soup...

This Shit just irritates me like wet under wear.

When did the idea of "magical escapes" seem like a good idea. If you scroll down about halfway of that story above you will see an account of Steve Wyrick's supposed "Death Drop". Not only did he FAIL to do what he has been advertising for weeks, he pretty much just insulted the intelligence of an entire crowd of people. We don't live in the dark ages anymore. Most educated people (more than we think believe it or not) know that magic isn't real. They take it for what it is. Entertainment... more or less.

By appearing somewhere else TOTALLY out of congruency with your intended outcome, they KNOW you snookered them and will feel cheated. Not only have you made yourself look like a tool, but ALL magicians.

The sad part is most high profile magic guys have done this lame crap. Lance Burton did it. Criss Fishing Rod LOVES to do it. The only person who hasn't done some totally idiotic escape is David Copperfield. Don't get me wrong; David did do the Imploding building stunt, BUT he didn't just appear on the roof of another building after the building fell. He actually made his appearance magical and interesting. Does that make it necessarily right? No, but it does make it seem interesting and impressive. To make up for it he did an ACTUAL escape from a strait jacket over spikes. Despite how more or less safe it was, that did take some balls.

Appearing at the back of a theater from a flaming or exploding box is feasible. It's theatrics. However, when you come in from a helicopter or appear on a high up building yelling like an idiot, it falls under the too perfect theory and isn't magical at all. You are just showing off and you might as well give the entire audience the finger and yell, "HA HA I FOOLED YOU!! YER ALL IDIOTS!"

I think it's high time to stop these foolish magical escapes and focus on something else.. like I dunno.. MAKING BETTER MAGIC!! It's shake and bake...

and I helped.

Bizzaro.

Sorry I haven't been rant-tastic lately. Been busy working and stuff. So to amuse you, click Here.

Tis' Funny!

Bizzaro.

Just say no...

I know this might be kind of a "duh" moment for some of you, but I was thinking about it so you get to hear it.

I have spent a lot of time in the alternative sub-cultures. There are a lot of socially awkward, (And possibly mentally disturbed), young kids who get into magic and traipse around doing crappy card tricks they learned off ellusionist, or more likely youtube nowadays, and calling themselves a magician.

So far, nothing out of the ordinary. However, I feel it is my job, nay DUTY to inform some fo you out there that you cannot be a drug addict and do magic. If you are high on meth and trying to do "Street magic" for tips, you will FAIL. Just because you can hide it from your parents doesn't mean that the rest of the world can't tell yer high as a kite.

An 18 year old strung out teenage will NEVER have a promising career as an entertainer. It's that simple. So lay off the drugs, or lay off the magic. Actually, just stick to the drugs...

it's cheaper.

Bizzaro.

bigger = better?

If you have or have ever thought of having a manipulation act, and decide the best way to end your act is to produce a GIANT version of something that makes NO sense... don't.

If it is a prop that doesn't exist in real life, it might be hard for the audience to come along with you in the believability department. Sure I used to produce giant eyeballs in an act at one time. I realize the irony of this post. However, something that abstract can work. Giant pipes or cell phones... not so much. Doing a CD act and then giant CD's is about where the line ends. After that it gets silly.

There are better ways to end any manip act. Sometimes with an emotional hook or maybe bring an everything back around full circle. However, as magicians we do tend to fall back on what we see. We only know what we see. We only know what we read. We really need to know more.

So in conclusion, I would just like to say: If you think ending your magic routine producing giant cock rings is a good idea...

think again.

Bizzaro.

A big deal....

Last night I was speaking with some folks at the local Wednesday night gathering and someone turned to our buddy, Scott Hitchcock and told him, with no amount of ego stroking, that he did the best Fizz Master presentation they had seen.

For those who might not know what Fizz Master is (like this young man) it is the transferring of agitated carbonation from one soda can to another. Scott does make quite a production out of it and it's great because of that fact.

I bring this up tonight because we went and saw the new show Freaks, which is a fun romp and if you like midgets and faux clown sex, this show is a MUST see. Most of the things presented are done very theatrically and silent. This not only makes the performers stand out but the effects as well. All are little vignettes that center around one stunt or another.

A lot of times magicians try to stuff as much as they can into one routine. I have been guilty of this in the past and learned to trim things down here and there where it might be necessary. By making a big production out of something simple, you can create an enjoyable theatrical experience for everyone.

Sometimes, a few tiny effects centralized around a certain theme can work well too. However, you have to be careful and not go too far out there so as people can follow you back from the trip you take them on. Otherwise, you end up with everyone getting lost.

Then you end up with a show called Believe.

Bizzaro.

That outta learn yah...

I have been chatting with a very exuberant young lady on a magic message board who says she has been kinda turned off looking for advice on many of the boards because it's full of "little boys and their toys" (more or less). I for one am all for someone, male or female, looking to better themselves artistically. However, in today's world there is a slight problem with that. The Internet.

The problem with the internet is it is NOT a place to learn from. Period. You cannot learn how to perform in front of a live crowd. You can't develop the best patter in social situations, and you SURE as fuck can't learn how to spell, nor use punctuation properly. (even tho' Firefox has this keen little function called a SPELL CHECKER BUILT RIGHT IN!!)

However, if you want to post unpolished material and shots of your crotch, or have your performances lambasted by armchair 12 year olds with mad l33t skills, then the internet is the perfect place for you to be. If this sounds like a good idea to you, please stop reading my journal and beat yourself unconscious with the keyboard or laptop you happen to have in front of you. This way, there will be one less asshat to deal with online and we can get down to a little online Darwinian pruning of the species.

Evolve.

Bizzaro.

Back from Atlantic City. Not in the mood to write anything... expect this.


Bizzaro.

Just a quick note to everyone that this week (5th-11th) I will be out in Atlantic City at Trick Zone in the Tropicana Casino performing.

I might even be doing a lecture. They are a lot like reading this journal... but with sound FX.

Bizzaro.

Sorry for the weird poll question. I couldn't think of anything else. I have put up a new one as I have retired one of my old routines and am considering sharing my collected knowledge with the world.

I personally believe that the only time someone should sell their personal pet effects is when they are DONE with them or they are being ripped off left and right and should make it official. Kevin James knows the price of having your creativity siphoned off by bastards. The other option of course is to have yo' shit sold post-mortem. Like Dai Vernon or Tommy Wonder.

Magic.. from the graaaaave.

Bizzaro.

By the way: We have only had one entry for the CCSB contest (See below). Does no one else want to play with us?

Who wants a contest?

EVERYONE!!! (maybe)

So this is the logo we have devised for our color changing sponge ball effect.

Think you can do better? I challenge you to do so!! Send us a logo you think is better and you could win a color changing sponge ball of yer very own before anyone else!!

so crank up the ol' photoshoppe skillz and show me your balls!!

Bizzaro.

Wash yo' balls!!

I have had this post in mind for a while, but I keep getting distracted by more important things.

Anywho, ever seen a magician produce wrinkled silks or rope that USED to be white. What about sponge balls that look like they USED to be green? I think the only thing magicians try to keep pristine all the time are card decks. (Personally I use mine until the box lid falls off, then downgrade that pack to a waste deck and open a new one.)

Don't give me no shite excuses that you don't own an iron or don't have time. Here is a little quick ironing tip for those of you who are domestically challenged. Take your wrinkled ass silks and wet them in the sink, squeeze them out, and then press them flattened out on a mirror, tile wall, glass shower door, etc. Let them dry. The will fall flat and wrinkle free to the floor. The only downside to this is that over time, it can have an effect on the vibrance of the color. After that store your silks (for stage use and stuff) in a zip-lock bag with some air in it. This will keep them tumbling around and not smished flat.

Wash your damn rope. That's it really. It gets dirty no matter what color you use, but if your gray rope didn't START that way, wash that shit yo.

Our good friend (and avid reader) Christopher Lyle recently posted a YT video on ways to care for you sponge balls. If you do table magic, and don't know how to work a sink along with your iron, you need to watch this.

Take a good long look at your magic props. If they seem faded, tired, or just plain sad maybe it's time to invest some of that money you were saving up to drink away the pain on new toys.

Your tools can and will give you away.

Bizzaro.

CRAP

I want to stab this guy in the eye socket with a hot french fry... but he's right.

Listen and listen good.

Bizzaro.

Flawless victory...

THIS is why Jugglers beat magicians like rock beats scissors.



Our friend Dave Johnson puts it like this, "A juggler will never put something on the stage that isn't ready... magicians will."

I believe This is how most of the world must feel about Criss Fishing Rod by now.

Tipsy?

I have been holding off on this one for a while. Dunno why really. Guess I just had to be in the mood. That and I am listening to the new Green Day album (two songs I dig so far. Someone listened to a lot of The Beatles while writing this music).

I recently had the pleasure of reading a set of notes that are not only awesome and entertaining but also informative and thought provoking. I don't mean the typical thoughts one gets while reading magic notes. You know, stuff like, "I paid how much for these?" or "Someone needs to learn how to use a spell checker".

One of the things I had never heard a term for, but understood the concept immediately, was the mention of something called "The Tipping Factor". The basic concept (taken from the notes) is: "The point at which, be it for good or ill, the scales of change begin to tip. I have found that many magic effects have a Tipping Point. By changing a single preconceived notion of a trick, you can tip it from a standard effect into the realm of themed presentation".

I can trace a HUGE revelation into my own show by the addition of one prop that brought everything together. If you look at your own work, you might realize the same has happened to you and you just didn't know it. If this has not happened to you, just wait. It's like getting harassed by Los Angeles cops. It's gonna happen... and soon.

I highly recommend you take that money you have been saving for the next overly hyped Papercrane product and instead hop yer happy ass over to masterpaynemagic.com and email him and tell him you want to purchase his appropriately titled notes called "Sometimes the Jokes are Just for Me". They are full of musings, advice, and even color photos. Spared no expense... and you won't get eaten by a Velociraptor afterwards!

Don't forget to tip yer waitress... Over.

Bizzaro.

PS: I put "other" on my sponge ball poll over there, but what other colors did I leave out? Is someone using a plaid sponge ball or something weird like that?

Blow me!

I would like to make a request, nay a PLEA to some of you out there in the magic world. Could you, would you please stop blowing on cards after you draw or write something on it with a Sharpie marker? The ink dries before you even put the cap back on it. I don't care if you are trying to find an excuse for a get ready or do a move or some misdirection. It's silly and to me personally, it's fooking aggravating. I don't ask you for much. Just this one thing would be like an early birthday gift if you all knocked it off at once...

especially you Jay Sankey.

Bizzaro.

Balls to the wall...

Who here does sponge ball magic? Raise your hands. Yes even you there in Nebraska sitting naked browsing the cafe, raise yer hand... ok.. that's enuff put it back down. Eesh.

Where was I?

Ah yes. Sponge balls. So a lot of us do them and like most magic we don't question them. Every supplier of magical crack carries them. At some point we have used them to blow the mind of some random person... and why not? It's in the hands magic. Nothing more powerful. However, how do you justify spheres of squishy material in the mind of non-magicians? Do you even care to? If not, you should.

When I was a pirate character at Six Flags, I used green and said I found them on the bottom of my ship. If it's Halloween, grab some orange ones and say they are pumpkin balls. (Only found on boy pumpkins) I use trite red ones in my normal everyday wear and tear, but I tell people I got them by beating up some clowns. Give them a little bit of truth, they believe a HUGE amount of bullshit.

Let's talk subtlety now shall we? I see a lot of people death grip their balls. (Hey, no snickering) Mike Caveny taught something very interesting in a lecture I saw him do once. After the initial false transfer, press your hand flat against a table (or if you are sans table, lean over a bit and use your leg). This works because people think of a sphere in a 3-D space. However, since sponge can be squished down, it becomes a 2-D object in 3-D space and your hand now appears empty. (yay psychology!) I do this to great avail. It makes it almost impossible for them to re-construct in their mind.

Here is a little known idea told to me a few years back to add to this tirade. I am sure we are familiar with transferring a non-existent ball from one hand to the other before we reveal it to have jumped from hand to hand. However, next time yer oot and aboot, try this: After placing the balls into their hand, have them pass them from one hand to the other. They will keep a firm clamp on the objects in their grasp. When they open up, it is a true shock because they SWORE they only moments ago had (Insert incorrect number here).

How do you end a sponge ball routine? Is it just with four balls and that's it? A little anti-climactic don't yah think? Have them change to something else in their hand. Maybe even a different color. They make sponge words and other strange sponge props. You can even incorporate a weird little routine by good friend Jeb Sherrill where sponge balls are produced from a woman's hair.

With so many options, how can you not be compelled to play with your balls more often?!

More than you already do that is.

Bizzaro.

Levitation for fun and profit....

No wires, no magnets, no trapdoors, no midgets, no photoshop!

How does he do it?!

Bizzaro.

Magic in the time of cholera...

In today's world it is not uncommon to see hypochondriacs crawl out of the woodwork when the word "pandemic" is uttered. As magicians we need to be aware of these strange goings on and be able to adapt. So many people are afraid to touch ANYTHING that might have come in contact with your mouth or even your person in NORMAL times.

So when some crazy flu goes rampaging across the world, we need to maybe look at a few of our handlings of tricks and make sure we remove, what we might feel, is the simplest of things.

Putting a card in your teeth during an ambitious card routine, placing a borrowed object into a phone, licking a spectators forehead to stick a card to it. (I hope I am kidding about that last one by the way) These things and more need to be considered so those helping us out can get the full enjoyment without worrying we are going to give them the plague.

Of course if you want to have some real fun, remind them that we use the same glasses and silverware EVERYONE else uses in a restaurant and watch their eyes widen.

Ah good clean family fun.

Bizzaro.

I take it back...

Magicians are NOT the most closed minded people in the world....

See?

Bizzaro.

Just a quick thing.... for all of you guys who vanish stuff onstage in a manip act and then bring it back a few seconds later because you have no other way to get rid of it.... please stop.

I'll explain why later.

Bizzaro.

Falling up

In life, (some) people tend to learn more from their failures than their successes. If you always achieve your goals on the first try, then yer not trying hard enuff. A lot of magicians have this innate fear of going belly up during a trick on stage. While this is indeed a valid phobia, it's not always a bad thing. Many a screw up can illuminate a previously hidden avenue to improve a trick greatly.

I say the best way to learn... is do. Get out there and give it the old college try. (Hell I didn't even GO to college) Maybe not at a high profile or paying gig. Perhaps at an open mic or on a small stage for the helluvit. (If yer a stage person.) for you close-up kids, there is no scarcity of places to ply something new. This goes back to an old post of mine about "in the moment" creation. Some of the best things come at you from left and ONLY when yer performing and pulling RIGHT from yer ass.

Don't let something silly like practice hold you back all the time. ONLY if you are confident in your abilities to cover yo' ass and shrug in the face of failure and laugh at yourself will you succeed in failing. If a trick going wrong in front of other people is the end of the world for you, then it's time to get over yourself and leave your insecurities at the door. We're just people. All of us. No one is going to run you out of town on a rail if you screw up a card trick at a nightclub. Just make sure you have something tried and true to fall back on... just in case.

You do own an invisible deck right?

Bizzaro.

On a crutch...

I have been thinking quite a bit about the material that magicians use. Sure we have seen effects like cups and balls, and clinking things, and egg bag used over and over again... but why? Is it because they are classics (or we have been TOLD they are)? Is it because we someone else do it and think, "Hey he got a good response from that, I bet I could too."? Perhaps they are just readily available from YFD. (if you don't know what that means, GTFO of magic.)

I think these are all contributing factors, but a big part of it is we know they are always there to fall back on. We know them, we know they work (Even if a metric fuckton of people have seen them), and they are readily available. The above tricks are just a smattering of the number of effects that have been flogged to death like 6 card repeat at a magic club meeting. I know a few of my readers do these tricks and do them well. Good for you. However, have you ever considered what you might create if you put these implements of ease down and tried to... create something new?

If you know that you will always have certain effects to "fill time", you will resort to them.

Just something to chew on...

Bizzaro.

Just replace American Idol with America's Got Talent....



You get the idea...

Bizzaro.

Grease is the word...

Or was that Hairspray? I haven't seen either one so what do I know?

I think there is a major lack of magicians in the US doing theme acts. The ones who are, tend to be going for competition and won't play terribly well in the real world.

Regardless, I love Asian TV for magic. They get so into it. This Act has some nice ideas to it. Perhaps a tad long and some superfluous stuff, but over all entertaining. It's probably a competition piece as well, but at least there is a definitive story arc going on... even if it's not totally clear at first.

Just thought I would share.

Bizzaro.

A den of thieves...

Sometimes magicians can reeeeallly bug me. The fact that I have heard non-stop that one day, while I am not looking, laying in a prone position, someone is going to sneak up, club me mercilessly about the head and shoulders (And the pert plus) and steal one of my personal pet effects.

I don't mind hearing it, it's more the fact I know it's true. Magicians are some of the most unethical performing types on the planet. They will sit in on someone's show and take notes on every trick, joke, and move. Then, just because it worked for someone else, they feel it is the right duty, nay their RIGHT to do it themselves.

For those of you who read my trite little ramblings, let me tell you something. There is no skill in taking someone else's ideas and using them for your own ill gotten gains. The person whose effect you are knocking off, or routine you are stealing or whatever, has (more than likely) put in some serious research and development into making what you have so callously absconded with. In many cases some big time monetary investments, just so you can come along all willy nilly and make off with their life's work.

Now chew on that for a second. If you are one of these people, I would like you to realize how big a scumbag you are. Why? Because if someone did it to you, you are likely the type to throw a girly hissy fit on some message board and try to get sympathy for your silly ass. Karma is a bitch my friends. (Don't "believe" me? Take a look at a little plummeting project out here in Vegas that shall remain nameless... sorta.)

I have made it very well known that I have NO qualms about physically hurting someone who steals from me and I have a few friends who know how to break fingers and end careers. Sure that sounds a bit harsh, but if someone is gonna take from you, I think it might be ok to take a little something back. The unethical need to get a good dose of manners laid down upon their heads... and knees.

So wise up. If you can't get by on your own ideas, maybe you need a better one. Like 9-5 and the local Taco Hut. You are not fit for human consumption, so you might was well do somewhere that reflects you as a person. Do I sound mad? Perhaps. Am I? Not really. I just want to make a point while it's on my mind. Don't like it? Start yer own blog.

Please drive thru...

Bizzaro.

Thank you Seattle!!

Today boys and girls, we're gonna look in the old Bizzaro mail bag and answer some questions from our friends at home. This first one comes from a young man named Troy out of Las Vegas. He writes:

"When can one call one's self a magician? Are you a magician when you can pull off a double lift? Or do one solid trick? Or have a solid 60 minute show?"

Well Troy that is a good question. Also a tough one. Magic is one of the few professions you can buy your job title. Sure you can buy some paints and brushes and CALL yourself and artist, but as soon as you try to paint, you are screwed. (Unless you call it avante garde or modern art. Then you can just defecate on a mailbox and put it in a gallery and be called a genius.... come to think of it magic is a lot like that too.) In magic you can get a trick deck of cards and effectively accomplish what people expect from a magician, to fool them.

I think the term magician is thrown around too loosely as it's a dated name that is too encompassing. Mind you, we can use that to our advantage. However, I think if you can reliably make ANY kinds of money performing magic then you can use the title. I want to narrow that down a bit tho'. I don't mean you have a real job and/or dress like a clown and do some crappy stock material. I mean you are actually attempting to perform and add something to the magical gene pool.

Problem with that is, people like Criss Angel do that, but the addendum to that is they are too self serving to really be doing magic any positives. See I have seen guys here in Vegas who have big illusions shows that by all definitions make them a magician. However, the crowbar separation is they STOP at magician, when the best kind of magic practitioner is first and foremost an entertainer.

To me the term magician has a negative connotation, so I might be a bit bitter and jaded. This is because I see it from the inside. All of the people who couldn't perform their way out of a change bag. However, they get indignant when someone who is a better performer beats them at a magic competition. People who use magic and the title of magician to make up for the fact they have no talent at ANYTHING else. They want to rock stars, but can't sing, play, or fuck to save their life.

So when can you call yourself a magician? That is up to you. I say look at those you admire and respect. If you TRULY think you can hold your own against them (or very close to it) then you have perchance arrived. However, by that point, you might have wised up and realized the moniker of magician isn't that brass ring you've been looking for.

Who says I don't do requests?

Bizzaro.

10%

"And the audience loves me.
And I love them.
and they love me for loving them... and I love them for lovin' me.
and we love each other... and that's because none of us
Got enuff love in our childhoods.
And that's show biz... kid."

The first act I do in my show here in Vegas was inspired from a certain scene in a movie. A lot of performers have been influenced from various media throughout their lives. From Alice Cooper to Devo. (the band, not the guy with the sword.)

I speak about stepping out of yer comfort zone by going to places you normally wouldn't. This goes for watching and listening to stuff too. Artsy movies and musicals usually have some great visuals and staging. Sometimes, the choreography itself could be the makings of a great act.... with a few prop changes.

So pay attention to things you might not usually. You might just find an answer to the presentation you been looking for.

And all that jazz...

Bizzaro.

Penultimate...

Funny things, most people don't know what this word means. Most times it is used to describe the best or final version of something. Funny thing is it means the NEXT to last. In a way, magic is very much like this. The best of the best version of an effect comes out and then something better crests the hill and previous effect then becomes the penultimate version.

Why do I bring this up? Well because sometimes a previous version of something is the better one. Improving upon something does not always mean better *koff*WiNdOwSvIsTa*koff*. Personally I feel that in most respects, (in regards to audience impact, not magician preference), there are some versions of an effect that will never be topped or needs be modified.

I thought about this while watching some of the Total Astonishment DVD set. (Which I will reserve opinion for until I am done seeing all of it, but so far... I'm not impressed) On some of the disc's there have been "upgrades" of effects from Harris' AoA books. Some of them were not necessary or really that good. On one of the discs there is a version of Reset. Quite frankly I think the best version of reset EVER is R. Paul Wilson's Ricochet. Sure being able to do some sort of reset effect thru sleight of hand is cool and all, but when you want a slap in the face with yer nether-regions to yer audience, then there is nothing better.

Magic is full of stuff like this. It always will be. Don't believe the hype that some new so-and-so in bottle is any better than yer tried and true quarter in bottle that you got for 10$ at the local brick and mortar, non-corporate magic shop. So here are my thoughts and a word for the day. I hope you learned something.

Next time, we will study coitus interruptus.

Bizzaro.

Ever get the feeling of Vu ja de?

Something you wish never did happen? I know every time I see linking rings come out I feel that way. Well apparently I am not alone. Click on This and then scroll down and select "Why must we repeat ourselves."

Listen, laugh, learn.

Bizzaro.

The soul of wit...

Magicians sure know how to DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG things out don't they? Now I don't just refer to the cross-dressing types here, I mean everyone. Not only with magic either. Bitching and moaning on websites are prime fare for the proficient armchair magi.

Of course there are those who can use that to their advantage. The king of this of course is Steve Fearson. He can spin hate into gold. However when it comes to magic effects, we just love to marvel at our own magnificence on stage. How many times have you seen a dancing cane routine that would have been much improved by cutting it down to about 30 seconds? How about card manipulation or linking rings or... well most anything considered a "classic". I have said this before and I will repeat it until people start listening. Just because you know every move with a prop, doesn't mean you should DO IT!!

I leave you with a quote - "A lot of magicians have a great 10 minute act, unfortunately it takes them 45 minutes to do it" - Elwood Rabbit

Staple this to yer forehead....

Bizzaro.

Doth mein ears deceive me?

I believe a very underused principle in magic is that of the auditory nature. I don't just mean stuff like the click pass and Gertner's Steel and Silver routine. I mean letting the effect really sink in by showing something supremely solid
and have weight. A good example is the video below.



Yes... I am a whore. Why do you ask?

Regardless, this effect is NOTHING without tapping the card on something or, ideally, dropping it onto a hard surface. (Of which none were available for this video) It's the noise that really fools them. How does it fool them? Simple. People make assumptions. They see it LOOKS like wood and you might say it is, but they don't fully believe it until they HEAR it's wood. There are a few magical items like this out there, that need to be seen to be believed.

A prime example is the Heavy Deck that has been released and knocked off. A huge hunk of metal that looks like a deck of cards, for those who don't know. A card is selected, then found, and then the deck is handed out and found to weigh a fuckton. The rub in this effect is that you drop the deck onto a surface first, especially if you are performing it for a group of people. With one person, you can get away with dropping it into their hand. It will lose some punch, but it becomes more intimate with one person, so the rules change a bit.

If you are however doing this effect for skads of people, dropping it on a table is a MUST as everyone will turn their head as they can't believe what they heard. This is an effect where assumption is reversed. They don't believe what they just heard. Maybe it was you hitting the table or just them having a lapse of hammer and anvil oddity. They will then want, nay HAVE to pick it up to see. When they now feel how heavy it is, they will be fully astounded.

There are a lot of great ways to use audio to your advantage for not only magic but also comedy. We have five senses, let's use them all. I know some of you might be senseless, but in the long run, it only makes sense. If yer lucky it might just make you some dollars and cents. So don't be shy, let em' hear yah commin'.

Aural sex: It's your friend.

Bizzaro.

Play with my....

So I was at the World Magic Seminar this last week. A great time to see old friends, make new ones, and generally embed oneself into magic kinda like.. well.. this.

If magic conventions have taught me ANYTHING, it's that you can do magic with anything. In magic I have seen everything from CD's to spoons to candles appear and disappear and even multiply at will. Last year a kid made card boxes appear at his fingertips. Compact Discs have become all the rage in the last decade as it's a far easier medium to hide in your hands than say... 8 tracks.

This year saw the return of someone I had met last year who had a good act then and this year took second (Who will now be a force to be reckoned with when he moves to the adult realm). His act consisted of bringing about ipod's to the magic stage. Hell even the winner of the International competition was a guy who multiplied cell phones between his fingers. No small feat indeed.

This brings up a good question tho'. To win at a magic competition, do you HAVE to manipulate something? Not necessarily, but let's face it. You see a guy producing CD's and mirror balls and whatnot and all you have is linking rings, yer screwed. However, if yer going head to head manipulation, and your act has a story structure and even subtext mixed with skill, you will kill every time.

The real challenge is making that same act enjoyable to not only magicians, but to non-magi's as well. If you ask me, I'd rather work in the real world.

They need the fantasy more.

Bizzaro.

Show us your best peacock...

There has always been a big debate in the magic community about flourishing compared to hiding your skill. There are people who temper the magic and flourishing. However, those who remain hardcore into it, are really just showing off for other magicians.

Watching the above video, there were some pretty things (Even one I had to back up a few times to catch) however, a lot of it was hard to follow and if someone who knows what's going on gets lost, think about how non-magicians would feel... and for anyone who isn't sober, fughedaboutit. I have called this style of magic "magical masturbation" and I stand by it.

You are just playing with yourself. Ruffling your feathers as it were to look pretty. IT rarely adds anything to the magic or performance. Just because someone goes "wow" when you do some complicated flourish, just remember, people say the same thing about juggling and fire eating. It's impressive because they can't do it and it looks hard. It's not that they are impressed with the trick itself.

To a degree, I agree that showing off too much can lessen the impact of magic to some people. If you can fling cards around like a dervish, then slight of hand should be NO problem for you. Most non-magical types think we do things that are just too fast for them too see, why perpetrate that already ridiculous and trite saying.

So just remember, while you are spanking it over the latest flourish DVD, when in public try to keep it in yer pants. Like I tell my girlfriend...

Less is more.

Bizzaro.

I think they named this trick after a girl I used to date...

(A real post coming soon I swear)

Bizzaro.

This is not at ALL what I thought it was...

Oh well.

Bizzaro.

Style vs. Character...

And there in the shower it hit me.... Style Vs. Character. Some have one, some have the other. (Some have neither too) Sometimes they meet in the middle. It was this thought that opened my eyes.

Every so often a thought comes to you from one simple thing you might see or read and you smack yourself in the head and think, "Why didn't I think of that sooner?!" Let me explain to you what I am talking about.

Some people have a performing style while others have a character they portray onstage. (some would even go so far to talk about the difference between character and chariacture, but let's keep this simple hunh?) Some prime examples of characters are Sylvester the Jester, Rudy Coby, and Simon Drake. They play up the characters they have created for themselves to convey their particular ideas and views. They use costumes, scenarios, and even manners of speaking to create a different persona that lives in their own world on stage. These are the people who have become magic innovators and helped everyone look at magic a little bit differently.

Now here is the one that might surprise you a bit. Prime examples of people with a style are magicians like David Copperfield, Houdini, Amazing Johnathan, and Lance Burton. They are themselves on stage but have a certain style of performing that is personal to them and them alone. (Tho' by now thy have created so many imitators, their style has been copied, but never duplicated) These people have been the major inspirations to magic on a whole and helped bring it to the public eye in a positive light.

I'm not saying people who are characters have no style all their own, or vice versa. However one will stand out more than the other usually. There are those who have mixed the two. However, in mixing them you make them more subtle.. which some might say is better. However, that is neither here nor there. Jeff McBride, Kevin James, and Penn and Teller have mixed character and style to a great success. They don't rely on one or the other to make them recognizable. (I'm not saying the others listed above DO, but one does tend to stand out more than the other in those cases.) The mixture of the two gives you a nice blend of magic and performer.

Neither one of these is better than the other and it's up to YOU to figure out which one is the right path to follow. Now if you don't feel you have one or the other, and are just standing on stage being a phony smile and stick on head producing Cd's, doves, or canes for no reason, you might want to step back and re-evaluate your magic motivations sometime soon.

The bottom line is you need to have something that sets you apart from the rest of the herd in crappy rented formal wear. They might be able to take your tricks, but they'll never take who you are.

Don't dream it, be it....

Bizzaro.

(Special snuggly hugs and manly pats on the ass to Chris Lyle for planting this seed in my head. Good game.)

No Homers Club...

I am always a amused by magic sites that have a "magicians only" section on their website. Offering up their products to "magicians only". Problem is, it's not. Any schlub can go onto that site and get that magic trick.

A long time ago, in an internet far, far away magic sites would actually quiz you on your knowledge to let you into the magicians sections. Now, we don't care. We'll take our money from anyone and sell our secrets to whoever wants to learn them. Even people who have seen us perform somewhere and want to do what we do and then call themselves a magician because they ignored the "magicians only" sign on the door and now can do some two-bit card trick.

We naively assume that people will stay out of something because they respect what we do. Man you people are high on drugs. We all know that stay off the grass means let's play soccer.

Do us all a favor and be a bit more discretionary when it comes to who you schlep yer products to in the future hmmmm? Not everybody can be exclusive because if we all are...

then no one is.

Bizzaro.

Multimedia abounds!!

We live in a society where we can check our email, traffic, horoscope, and even play the ocarina all from the comfort of our cell phones. However, magic is still behind the times. Some people thought it was a "radical" idea to include a webpage with performance video of the material I put into a Linking Ring Magazine Parade. Oooh... I'm a rebel.

Regardless, we can embed video in e-books and yet so many don't bother to take advantage of this. The list goes on, but hey... far be it from me to judge your lackluster knowledge of the world around you.

I bring this up because I am testing out a new implement of distraction on SmappDooDa.com. A chat box. When I am online, you can yammer with me without having to be signed in to anything. If I am not around, leave a message I'll get later.

If people dig it, I might actually set up a weekly live chat.. well.. because I can.

Sure I could go all crazy with it and use chat rooms, and video skyping and alla that.... but it's just a toy.. a toy I CAN CONTROL MUHAHAHAAHAHA!!

Baby steps...

Bizzaro.

What do I think about on VD?

I think it's about time we stopped using so many crutches in magic. Stop falling back on things just becasue some people have done them so long they have been deemed "Classics". Just because a lie has been told for so long it has passed into the realm of truth doesn't make it any less a lie.

Stop doing egg bag just because you can. Cease your prattle with the clinking things and stop cupping your balls. Let's stop moving backwards. How many times can we see instant-magician? How many times can we sit thru hypno-disc presentations where only a few people see the damned sailboat? When do we stop dancing in the snow?

At some point your bank account will no longer dictate your title. One day we might move forward and make this an art again. Eventually those people who have preyed upon us to believe that magic is only done certain ways and bred our inbreeding beliefs into us will be GONE! Dead and buried. Those days will be glorious... but by then, we'll all be too dead to notice anyway.

One can always hope.

Bizzaro.

3 minutes to fame...

Rudy Coby to this day still stands by the belief that with three minutes of strong original material, you can do almost anything. (I threw in the almost.. just cuz') I agree, but there are some factors to that.

We're not going into what those might be, however I use this example to illustrate a point I just made to a younger magician wishing to give his talent show observers the willies. After some material choices I said to him, "If your material and performance is strong enuff, you only need a few minutes of their time to be remembered forever."

This saying is very true. When I was younger, I would always try to over-do it, magic wise, when I met new people. (Many older people STILL do this and should be beat about the head and shoulders.. and the pert plus.) There is a reason the phrase, "Always leave them wanting more" still gets tossed around like a cheap prostitute. It's TRUE!!

You don't need the gaudy boxes, trite doves, or over-sized fan blowing yer hair to make an impact. Shawn Farquhar brings down the house with a deck of cards and the right music. (Mind you BEFORE all of this he does some bigger things as a lead up, but he doesn't need it) All it takes is the right attitude, presentation, and in one man's case... four legs.

Never leave them wanting less...

Bizzaro.

Putting the cocky back into cocksucker...

Well that title outta lose me a few readers.

Regardless, what is it with magicians and our inability to just be impressed or give compliments other than "OMG! YOU GONNA RELEASE THAT!?" We will watch someone do a magic effect and if it fools us, we won't say a DAMN thing. However, if we know hwo it works we blather something like, "That was good but I saw you unzip your zipper on that erdanase" (paraphrasing of course).

It's even worse on the internet. Our anonymity gives us the power to say things like, "great vid keep it up i knew what happened to the change but good cover". We just HAVE to let everyone know that we were NOT fooled AT all, but we will be using that routine sometime in the near future without your permission. Can't we just say, "Good job, so long, and thanks fort all the fish?" (again, paraphrasing).

The only time a phrase even CLOSE to "I see what you did there" was funny or appropriate was in this movie:


What the hell is wrong with us?

Srsly?

Bizzaro.

Thine art a wizard..

This was posted on one of the forums I hang out on. Thought I would share.

Thank you Baldric.

Bizzaro.

Old skool...

Do we take magic for granted? I think sometimes we do. Especially the newer generation doesn't bother to question or care where their magic comes from. All of the people that we revere as greats helped shape and mold that which we do now.

Think about the first time someone used a Nielsen type bottle to vanish... or when Fantasio first started showing off his candles and canes. People must have WET themselves! Now we sell off our original magic and a frantic pace all in pursuit of a dollar or two. We rarely keep things to ourselves. At least the other guys held on to their secrets till they had won some awards and got recognition. Then they shared the secret with us all.

We aren't as easy to impress anymore because we have "Seen it all". Well that's not true, but as magicians, we need to know what came before us. If not for the sheer history aspect of it, for yourself. So you know what has been done and whose toes and shoulders you are stepping on. How do you go about that? Easy! You go to a place like This that has done that research for you!!

Free your mind and your pants will follow...

Bizzaro.