When I get off of an internet connection that isn't slower than a hamster ina wheel I will post my review of the movie SHADE which I FINALLY saw. Until then happy etc etc...


Bizzaro.

So no one knows the answer to my quiz hunh? Thaz too bad.. well either that or no one cares. Ah well. Watched "A White Christmas" on the big screen. You know... Danny Kaye, Bing Crosby, some hot 1954 gals, and lavish outfits. Watching that I realized there will never be movies like this made again cuz' thaz not the style today. The only time we see choreography, lavish costumes, and people in tuxedoes is.. well magic illusion shows.

I have always said that magis is usually a decade or so behind the times and watching that drove that point home like a drunken River Phoenix. It is hard for magicians to keep up cuz' they either immerse themselves too much or not at all. It's either tuxedoes or they go so basic they look like homeless kids.

We don't have the kinda performers we used to. People like Mr. Crosby and Dean Martin, and all of the old classics had style, panache, and charisma. They knew how to dress and live and didn't really try to hide it. They were performers. They know how to relate to their audience. They danced, they sang, they were musically inclined. We don't have people in the limelight like that much anymore. Too many one trick ponies. I blame American Idol.

I have been saying in this thing for at least a year that you should always be yourself. This is gonna be no exception. Be an original... and for the love of god dress nice.

Bizzaro.

Well here it is a year later and what do we have to show for it? A lot of the same old stuff really. So since I am two days late (I had no net access bite me) and as a celebation.. er.. celebration of this blog's mission to amuse and educate I have a contest. The last one went over so damn well I figure this one outta garner at LEAST 2 or three replies.

In the recent indie booklet I released documenting the Bizzaro Flip and Fan Control I priced the book at a very odd $13.80. Tell me what the significance of that price is and you shall receive a FREE .pdf copy of the book itself. (This way you'll get it quicker. We've had hell with the printing people in Dallas.) So email away and you too could already be a winner!!!

In retrospect I want to thank everyone who might have read this site thus far. I'm not doing it for notoriety nor attention. I could care less what you think of my views but I'll be damned if they are not mine. Hope you've enjoyed thus far and let's see how far this will go.

Bizzaro.

Last time I talked about how the blog technology has caught up to magic. (or vice versa. Who sez magicians are behind the times? All it takes is one person to get a good idea and bammo!!! Everyone has one.) Well the newest addition to magic is >Dun dun dunnnnnn< Piracy!!

Avast ye scurvey prestidigitators. Prepare to be mother boarded!!! Thaz right videos, manuscripts, and whatnot are appearing on certain search engine programs. Now I won't say magic is full of unscrupulous mofos.. but it is. Usually little 14 year old wankers who think it's kool or funny to do so. Personally I see only one upside. TRY BEFORE YOU BUY!!

I like to know what I am getting into. Why buy a car without testing it out? Why buy a magic trick you only read the descrition for or only hear the hype. Poor judgement on yer part. I like to hear a few songs off an album then buy it if I like it honestly. (Even if the band themselves get squat from their album sales.) It's nice to see a few tidbits from a video or book and if I like them I will buy them in hard copy... or I can read it outright if I think the author is a complete tard.

Now I do not condone this. I wouldn't do it. I might from time to time take advantage of it, but thaz my decision. Sure I am going to hell, or New Jersey, or whatever horrid place you can think of, but at least I will be appreciated there.

But seriously folks, welcome to the now. It's a downhill battle. Fight it, accept it, or ignore it. It's yer call. I'll stick to just making my own stuff and not watch someone else's crap.

Bizzaro.

(Stay tuned for the one year ann. post coming soon!!)

Nope I am not dead I just haven't been online much. Not having net access will do that to you. However as previously stated it WILL make you more creative. I have got in a lot of practice, creation, and drawing doen in the last week. Regardless, here is my one little quick thought about all of the magic blogs popping up online as of late... are yah ready?

"No One Is Innocent."

Thaz right where it was once safe to go on a message board or banter back and forth flaming each other, people can now take these little nuggets of joy into a wider audience to show just how much of an ass you, them, or all parties involved are mental midgets.

Careful tho'. You better be willing to stand up for what you say cuz' one day, it can come back to nibble on yer bum something fierce.

The net has eyes....

Bizzaro.

(PS: Dec. 11th will be the year anniversary of my random updates and rantings. Sure I don't go around promoting this site. Mainly cuz' I don't care what you think. If I did I would turn comments on and if you REALLY got pissed off at me you can email me.. which no one has really ever done... of course with my most recent revelation you people really should think twice about emailing a known magic blogger. Reagrdless, maybe we'll do something special. Now if I could only get my products out to people in time. Here is a word to the wise. When dabbling in business, make sure you can do it all yer damn self.)

Touching back on the creativity thing, I have realized that some of the best and most creative magicians around had one thing in common. THEY DIDN'T SIT IN FRONT OF A DAMN COMPUTER ALL DAY!!!

Think about it. In a time before computers what did magicians do? Read? Practice? Create maybe? How about all of the above!! Take a week off from technology and see what you come up with. Seriosuly. Want to be creaative, seclude yourself.

Just some quick sage advice from me to you. Deal with it.

Bizzaro.

Doritos and Milk....

I don't know what it is about Doritos that make me wanna drink milk. At least it's not Pepsi and Milk. (Shudders) So I see a lot of the same questions pop up on message boards a lot. "What do you do about hecklers?", "What do you do if something goes awry?" (Mind you they don't say awry. Heck most can't even spell that word properly.), "How do you think up new tricks?", and my fave "How does (Such-and-such) trick work?"

Well aside from the proverbial bitch slap I wanna give people who ask that last one, allow me to comment on the other three. When I was growing up, (And ten fold people who are older than me by a good +10 years), we didna have this new fangled inter-web doo-hicky to help us along and answer our questions at a fevered pitch. Yah hadda go search thru yer skool library and PRAY no one had gotten to that copy of The Amateur Magician's Handbook before you. You had to beg yer parents to drive you to that seedy magic shop run by that creepy old guy just to buy needle thru the arm to scare yer seventh grade talent show audience... or was that just me?

Anywho, point is there is so much information at the fingertips of everyone now it's just too damn easy and the journey is way too short. So before you ask the same question that has been asked a few hundred times why not look around a bit first. If magic has taught me anything, it's that patience is a harsh mistress who will kick you squah in the wumpus if given half the chance. So how do you handle hecklers?

Well first off don't fight back. It just makes you look like a jerk and then the show becomes about you... and them. The audience will side with one or the other and if yer a dick about it they will side against You. Mind you the best teacher is experience, but here are a few tips. A. Ignore their nasty ass. Simple as that B. Don't make a joke at the heckler, make it to the audience. "Hey look everyone, another of my adoring fans!" or something of that type. Don't make it a personal attack, just a general statement. 3. Call them up onstage and have them hold something for you the whole time like it is part of the show. When they are up there with you holding something with both hands, then they will prolly hush up. Just keep reassuring them the glass of water they are holding has a purpose. At the end just take a drink and bow and send them on their way. Depending on the situation you CAN be mean to the hecklers and make it part of the show. They will respect you for it. Work the bar scene for that kind of experience tho'. Nothing teaches yah quicker than a frat boy with a few too many beers in him.

What is something messes up? Simple....don't tell anyone. Kids improv can, is, and will always be your friend. Learn it, use it, love it as yer very own. It will save yer kiester on many occasions. Learn to be quick on yer feet. Play it off. Yah drop something, don't look frazzled. Stop, look at the ceiling like it fell from the sky, shrug, and pick it up.. go on. Go for comedy when a mess up occurs. There is a brief moment of tension when a snafu happens. A funny comment, look, action, or the like will ease them off that tension and what do they know? They have prolly never seen yer show before. Only we know what will screw up aye? If yer going thru hell... keep going. - Winston Churchill

Here is a hard one to answer. Some people's minds, much like Jesus, work in mysterious ways. Some people just ARE creative. Sylvester The Jester is one of those guys. His mind is a scary place.. and so is his garage. Actually it's s a pretty cool place, it's just the way he comes up with ideas that are so far out of the box they are in another room entirely from where the box even is. Best thing I can say about learning to create more is live you life to the fullest. Bombard your mind will sorts of stimuli. Don't limit your horizons. Have multiple interests, and to quote Eric Mead, "Learn to be able to talk about something other than magic."

Learn how things work. What makes things tick. How devices are constructed. Just say to yourself: Nothing is impossible. Think of the goal first. "I want to accomplish this. How do I do this?" Then devise the method. The more you know not only about magic and techniques, but of how the world works and how the human mind works, then you will find a way. There is always a way!

So that is a long ass post whot? Hope it shed some light into yer dull little lives for another 10 minutes of yer life yah can't have back. I am sure there is more to come soon enuff. Toodles.

Bizzaro.

You show me mine, I'll show you yours.

Steve Fearson hath plugged me (that sounded dirty) on his blog site. What is great about his blog site is that it's not just about magic stuff, it's about.. well his life. Amusing anecdotes all the way. So for those who don't know who he is here is a bit of background on this insane genius. (Not insane in a bad way. It's kinda like how people in New York say "Yer a stupid bastard.. but I mean that in a good way.")

One of his first breakout effects that I remember was the floating cigarette. A cigarette floats from your hand into your lips. It could be lit if you so chose to. Made a good bit of money off that I bet. The next big thing was his Fearson's Fantastic Floatation. I got this many years ago and I still use it. Still my fave lev thus far.

Since then he has created the Fearson Box levitation, David Copperfield's Cut in half illusion (Known as "The Laser"), and the soon to be announced I hope, self vanish. Now located on his own site and in Las Vegas he is creative and friendly. So give the man some love and business... and tell em' Bizzaro sent yah.

Buy the man some Jell-o.

Bizzaro.

(We now return you to yer regularly scheduled venomous magic postings)

I haven't been thinking much about magic or why it sucks, blows, juggles, or fingerpaints. However I have been spending a lot of time thinking about how much trendy clubs and business suck some hardcore phallic symbol. So today is a little advice to all of you kids who think that people respect magic and the fine institution it has become.

First.. ALWAYS get a contract. Especially if you work for a sleazy, trendy night club for special events. If you go thru an agency that's their job. If you do it yourself make sure YOU take care of it. The people who run most nightclubs that are filled up full of drunk yuppies with more money than sense will try to screw you at any chance they get.. Especially if yer a total stranger. You see in this world we think magic is this wondrous form of entertainment.. however the rest of the world (Well not the WHOLE world, but just replace "rest of the world" with "cocaine sniffing hooker buying bar owning idiots") isn't as keen on us as we want to believe.

It's like when you tell someone, "We have a sideshow" OH WOW REALLY!!! Then you say "We also have a magic show" Oh.. wow.. really? Yah that's kinda how it goes. Why is this? The word magic conjures up images of guys with doves, boxes, tuxedos, and silk scarves. (Let's face it, if you have more silk scarves than yer wife.. you are a magician. It's a close call tho' on that with Duane Laughlin.) I have said it before it's up to us to change that and I think it is... but it's been a lateral move from tuxedos to the David Blaine (AKA: The Asshat) We'll get there. We might all be dead when it happens.. but we'll get there.

So anywho, back at the farm.... Get a contract cuz' people with no morals will show their true colors when money is involved.

Next up is when you go to perform street magic learn the laws of the land. Some places won't let you take money from someone's hand until it hits a tip jar. It's called pandering or panhandling. Many cops have nothing better to do but flex their muscles at some poor skinny schlub trying to eek out a meager living on the street. If they are Dallas cops they might just mace you, take yer money, and kick yah a few times. That's getting off easy too. So know yer laws.

What else? Hmm lesee... if you are no good at the BS game on the phone then get yerself a good representation. Don't have to be a manager. Could be a friend who is just good at talking shit. Some great artists and magicians SUCK when it comes to dealing with people. This is why the Japanese invented managers. Get one.. or at least someone you trust.

Remember, just because it's not working where you are doesn't mean it won't work period. The US is a cesspool of conservative morals. Especially the south. Europe digs art and live acts. The wierder the better sometimes. They respect street performers. Find a place to be happy.. and stay there!! Not just a location but a place in your mind and heart. It's your life. Don't let anyone tell you how to live it.. unless they are yer wife. She knows where you live.

Bizzaro.

I have spoken on this before but instead of reposting everything about this in here I will make you work for my rant and why street magic isn't what the Asshat has made it seem to be. Wanna look? go Here.

What's in a name?

Well for starters all of your personality and pretty much the first impression. Going by my stage name has it's drawbacks but there is no pretense about what yer getting. Choosing something a tad more inconspicuous can be handy and not at the same time. If it sounds too normal you might be perceived as just another nameless/ faceless magician. Copperfield was an already known name from a book. Instilled curiosity what that might be about. Houdini was a conglomerate of two other names. It was unique and invited further investigation.

A name has to have a bit of pop or roll off the tongue gently. "Penn and Teller"; what do these names say to you? If you have never heard of them.. well nothing. If you know it you know it well. Had it been Charlie and Frank, well that would be a different story. They happened to be born with interesting names (First and last respectively.) Are you that lucky? If yer name is John, Bob, Mary, or some other sundry name.. possibly not. If yer first name is a bit bland you can try to spice it up with a last name. For example Misty of MistyLee.com added Lee to a name that was common in the 80's. It's a normal sounding name, buy also sounds like a bit more.

What spawned this post was another on the Ellusionist forums. Here is what was transcribed by me...

Performer names are all depending on the character you want to come across as. Bizzaro was created as a pure accident. I was 13 and said "That looked Bizzaro.. hmm that sounds kool." and voila. I didn't mean for it to be so fitting as the demented stuff came later (And later found out that Bizarro was a Superman villain AND comic strip. Luckily I was a public skool child and didn't know how to spell. When I found out the real spelling it was already too late.)

One of my associates developed his from his middle name and just putting a finger in the phone book.. he got Glenn Claxton. I know someone who liked wolves and became Kurtis Wolfe. (Curtis being his first name)

So inspiration can come from anywhere. If you chose a unique multi-word performing name it might get shortened. McBride, Copperfield, Blaine. They all have first names but it's the LAST name that sells it. Houdini, Keller, Dante. All dead. Also all one word names.

In the end it's not just yer name, it's if you can sell that name... but it helps to have one that is memorable and easy to spell.

Too bad I went to public skool hunh?

Shameless self promotion!!!

For those who are not familiar with my Close-up work I am offering this one time only.

At the suggestion of some others I have decided to release into limited print a few of my effects: The Bizzaro Flip, Fan Control, and one handed flourish revelation along with some effects using said techniques. It is a small independently published booklet limited to a run of ONLY 25. I personally do not believe in mass marketing effects but I do want to share them with some people who are serious about magic and adding to their art and materials. I usually will only teach people these in person but due to some suggestions I am offering this up. The booklet will be 13.80$ US and will be limited to 5 customers from 5 different forums. Go to this link Here and fill out the form. Once all of them are gone the page will disappear and never be offered again. Enjoy!

Bizzaro.

Person to person rants... what follows is some snippets from an IM conversation I was recently having.

smappdooda: it just takes acting and personality and mastering the art of making them believe what you want them to
smappdooda: too many magicians are not themselves when they perform.. they are a magician. If you watch me you see I am just being me but with a deck of cards.
smappdooda: but yah I talk to people like they are people not just props. It just takes time to get to that level where it's not the magic but how you present it and if you can entertain the audience.
smappdooda: magic is moves and tricks.. it's adding dance, make up comedy and other stuff when it becomes art
smappdooda: I bitch about magic a lot on a blog I have...

You get the idea. I was talking to someone who wants to get into magic. I feel it best to try and steer people into a direction that is not so much magic as it is entertainment. Thaz what it's all about after all right? I talk about that a lot on here (If you have been following along) and it's never gonna change.

Many people have said to me "I can't do magic I am not that dexterous... my hands are too small... I am clumsy." I say some of the best magic isn't the way you do it it's how you present it. It is up to you to make it as difficult as you want. Most people just go along with what you say. True you get some who are watchful but they were never up to enjoying it anyway. (Always have something fool proof for people like this to shut them up by the way. It's good to have a "Plan B")

Remember that the magic is really you and them. The props are just there for the visual. It's your life... make it your own.

Bizzaro.

YHW

This is the word you should write on your forehead so in the mirror you will see it and remember to ask yourself "Why?". There is a point in most magicians lives, (Not all but most.. and not as many as there should be.), where they stop and think to themselves, "Well that don't make no damn sense!".

When you see someone produce a dove or candle or fan of cards do you wonder "now why did he do that"? Many just write it off or chalk it up to "Oh he's a magician". (There sure are a lot of ""'s in this post) Now not everything has to be logical but it would be nice if you are holding a playing card, sword, or other prop in some un-natural fashion to have a reason for doing so. Ever see the snap change? Who holds a card like that?

Now there are some times it's ok. Some things are so subtle or in the peripheral that no one questions it or notices it. Like how magicians turn over a playing card on a deck of cards. Ask a normal type person to turn over a card. They usually do it end for end, not left to right or any other goofy ass way we turn over cards. They don't question our way cuz' it's not something they do enuff or care about. It's when we take an everyday action they see or do themselves that they kind of wonder what's up. It's a subtle alarm. Like looking at a drawing or painting and just KNOWING something is off but can't place it on whut. Yer gonna think about it... and so will they.

So just think about why yer doing some of the stuff yer doing. If yer gonna put a picture frame over yer head and move your head around at least have the motivation to do so. Someone hitting you over the head with a real painting out of anger. Spite and revenge is great motivation for a stage illusion. Most of them are hella violent anyway.

In the end it's not the why.. but the how they care about anyway.

Bizzaro.

So I was recently discussing magic competitions with some other performers and looking at some of the criteria in which they judge on. A rather odd thing came to our attention as one known convention has the judges base some of their score off of "Entertainment Value". Now I dunno about you guys but I don't find ballet entertaining, but some people do.

So who puts the power into these judges hands to deem what is entertaining when it is subjective all the way around? If you compete in a competition and perform illusions but 3/5ths of the judges like manipulation and think that is entertaining isn't that an unfair bias? What if an entire crowd of REAL people find your act entertaining but a small handful of people who may or may not be pros in your field do not? What happens then? You get a bad score and doubt yourself.

I say many magic competitions do more harm than good to someone. Just because some 60+ amateurs do not like what you do doesn't mean you should not do it. Life has been made up of people who said screw the naysayers and did what they wanted. Some of them were idolized... and some were forced to drink hemlock. The latter isn't seen as much anymore.. at least not in the US.

So remember when yer going into a competition, do not go in to win. Go in to have fun, show off what you can do, and remind people who you are. People who have competition acts don't always do well in the real world.... and that's where the money is.

This applies to stage and close up. Just because someone doesn't like the way you dress does that give them the right to count off of your skill or entertainment value? NO! They will do it tho'...

Just keep your eyes forward and don't forget who you are and where you want to go. It's your art.. not theirs.

Bizzaro.

I wanna rock all night.. and everyday.

KISS... no not the guys with the long tongue and strange make up. I am referring to the acronym. The very oddly phrased Keep It Simple Stupid. While not being overly polite, it does get the point across. Tonight I decided to perform cards across for the first time.. EVER!! First time mainly cuz' it's done a lot and it's just so damn easy. Of course this brings me to the point of this post.

You don't need the most recent shiny gadget or toy from Hank Lee or Elmwood Magic. All you need is your hands and a little balls. (That sure sounded better in my head.) The secret to great magic isn't skill, I mean it helps, but what you need is confidence. In everything you do. People follow and are drawn to those who portray they know what they are doing. It's how you manage an audience, make people believe what you say, and otherwise lead them down a path to their very own DEMISE!!

What is the vehicle down this path? YOU!! It's an easy thing to drive too. So much can be accomplished by a double lift or top change. Let's simplify that even to card forces and a card palm. With little or no trouble, you too can perform miracles. It's all in the presentation. Cards across and Phil Goldstein's "Chinese Las Vegas Pulse Reading" are good examples of this. Using just one simple move you become your own show... not your tricks. Magic should be a part of you not vice versa. As has been said here before, make the magic fit you, don't try to fit the magic like so many girls nowadays who try to squeeze into pants two sizes too small. It doesn't fit and looks horrid.

So while we learn new moves and buy new stuff to entertain ourselves and our satisfaction for new ideas, don't lose sight of what's important... you.

Keep it simple... OR DIE!!!

Bizzaro.

I knew this site was gonna bite me in the ass...

Peter Loughran came across my review for Black Hole and the harsh thing I said at the end about Head Rush (The picture frame illusion they created). I didna like it and sometimes I am not one to mince words. If you could really move your head why use a picture frame? It's like box illusions... if yah gonna her in half.. why not just.. do it? So anyway, this brought up an interesting thing... if someone doesn't like what you do, do they not like you?

Of course they like you. Magic is what we do for ourselves as an artform to satisfy our desire to create and make other happy. (Well for some of us) If someone doesn't like our style, certain tricks, or character on stage does that mean that we suck in real life? Well maybe but not usually. So because of that I just wanna say that regardless that I may not like some of Loughran's products, (Hey some people liked the Elevator, some didn't. I thought it was a good idea.), from what I have seen he is a nice guy. Like so many other snowbacks (Term of endearment... it's a long story, trust me.) he is obviously nuts and pretty nice. (Doubt me? Look at the entire cast of SCTV. Nutz and seemingly nice guys... but I didna talk to them in emails much.. or at all)

SO yah, my writing style may seem very mean, brash, and mean spirited unless I say I don't like someone outright, this blog is for my feelings on magic... and sometimes, I just don't like certain products. I blame my family for all the ganja they smoked.

So go hug yer fave magician today... even if yah dun like that card trick they do with the two pieces of cardboard and a rubber band.

Bizzaro.

Just a little advice...

If you are one of the unfortunate lucky ones who have noticed the growing trend of off the wall and strange magicians and decided to join their ranks then congrats. It's a thankless, tough, and never ending uphill battle. If you would rather sacrifice easy money and doves (Not literally sacrifice doves.. well some of you might what do I know?) to create something you can be proud of that is unique and artistic, even if only in your head, then you are probably a little frustrated.

The world only wants what they know. Boxes to shove girls in for no reason, animals that get cheap applause, shiny smiling faces with no personality or charm, and rehearsed lines with no emotion or true feeling whatsoever. Trying to open the eyes of others is a difficult task but if you can stick with it, trudge thru the many people who don't think your weird act will fit in anywhere, and work hard at it you might just be rewarded for your efforts and not have to compromise your goals for anyone.

Good luck to those of you who look at life thru a cracked glass. We here at Fire Cat Studios salute you. Now get back to work....

Bizzaro.

Let's talk about magic products. Looks like another assault on our pocket books by our neighbors north of the border. That's right that snowback Peter Loughran has created another "revolutionary" product. The Black Hole device. Is it a topit for your leg? Is it a fanny pack on your back? Who knows. For 40 bucks of yer cash for two it can't be much more than some cardboard and rubber bands right? Ever since the split decisions on the Elevator gimmick and it's price perhaps Loughran has wised up, but considering the useless exchange rate of the Canadian Loonie, he must be making a fortune on production costs of this new gimmick. It must be a two dollar device that according to him and his graphic design guy for this product, will make you "slap your forehead and go duh!".

In otherwords, it's a trip to the home despot and some time alone in your bathroom to construct. Much of magic is like that. After being at a magic convention all weekend and wandering the dealers room, magic is fast becoming the art of "What kinda useless crap can we macguyver into a new trick and sell for too much money?". So if you watch the video of this device vanishing a large silver bowl and then read it is made for the street performer then something is wrong. Even on stage the ability to hide or ditch a large metal anything and act casual and walk without a limp seems doubtful. I could be wrong. I'm tempted to check it out for myself but I want to hear a few more reviews that don't come from those fellatio tops-of-the-legs kissers at the Magic Soup Kitchen. If anyone who reads this... you know, out of the 5 of you... knows anything positive about the product lemme know. If it lives up to the hype that would be the amazing part about the shoe shebang.

After that god awful illusion with the picture frame it can't be much worse... right?

Bizzaro.

We went to the TAOM (Texas Association of Magicians) convention this weekend. Here is the VERY long report. Read it all or not. I dun care.


We got in thursday night and went to check out the hotel. Ran into some people I know. Twas fun just sitting around learning new in-jokes and talking shop. We eventually ended up at my good friend Claudia's. (And her roomates. None of them even read this so I won't mention Andrew and Mickey's name. No point.) Went to bed in a coooomfy bed. Woke up on...

Friday: Went to shell out mah 125$ to register and compete. I remember when this con used to cost 65$. Guess they realized they was getting screwed. Oh well. Wandered around the dealers room a bit, saw some more friends and fiends and watched Oscar Munoz' lecture. A pretty lax day. Went to the evening show which was plauged by bad technical difficulties.. mainly the techies sucked. I told Mischief that the evening shows were the best part and I think Friday was the dress rehearsal for SUCK!! The opening act damn near killed a dove, had some dumb as a rock assistants and wore a god awful powder blue tux thing. I couldn't tell if he was a girl or a guy from where I was.

So after apologizing to Mischief for the lackluster show and saying that the others would be ok we went back to the hotel and made nice with all of the magi's. Finally went back to Claudia's, (And Andrew's and Mickey's whom I am not gonna mention), and started to rehearse for the stage contest at 8 IN THE AM!! Don't they know real performers sleep in past noon? I guess not. Anywho, after Mischief went to bed I managed to forge.. er.. aquire him a badge for...

Saturday: 3 hours of sleep, up at 6:30 in the AM, and getting things ready to go kill ourselves on stage. Got to the theater and unloaded and awaited our turn in line. Killed time talking to two gals, one of which I have known for many years but never really talked to. (Found out she used to be scared of the scary guy in the trenchcoat. Go fig. She took photos and video of the act, so I'll have that up when I get it.)

It's out turn to go up, and we break out like mad men. Mischief hits me with that bat hard as hell and the chase is on. We're giving it our all. We try out new material with the living vent act, and show off a few new things in the weird routine. We're done, we're changed, someone taped the act.. thank god.

Honestly, we thought that the second contestant was gonna beat us. A very good manipulation with CD's act. Strong stuff. The other acts were.. intresting. Another CD act, with an unresolved ending, a few comedy acts, a dove act (real doves, not boxes of soap), and a female magi whose act has good potential and nice gams. Contest over, many compliments by people whose opinions I valued were given. We managed to even fool them with one of my pet effects, the scarf thru the hand.

Back to the hotel. We're tired as hell. We laze about, walk around, watch lectures.. good lectures too. Charlie Frye was an awesome guy and killer peformer. The man could hat trick Kelly into an orgasm. The close up show was ok up until the end and then it kicked ass with Shoot Ogawa (A very nice and funny performer in Japan), and Armando, a man whose act could fry your brain in one sitting. Brilliant stuff. Evenign show for Saturday was SUPERB. Eric Mead MC'd and did a helluvajob. The show opened with a young guy named Dan Sperry from Chicago (Where my heart is) with a dove act that was actually enjoyable. Others included Wayne Dobson, a man suffering from MS in a wheelchair but that didna stop him from having everyone in pain with laughter. Damn he was funny. One of the highlights was a guy with a TV act that KILLED. (I believe his name is Tony Chapek) Brilliant stuff, especially in reverse. Show was over and back to the hotel for more mingle.

Mischief went out to meet a girl and left me there to fend for myself in the lobby and was the last one there. Seeing Shoot Ogawa a tad drunk was amusing and watching performers talk, teach, and perform is always great. I crashed out in a chair until Mischief got there and we were on the way back to.. BAM!! WTF was that? A piece of Houston had taken a bite out of the car. Oil pan damaged, car smoking, losing power. It was like the damn cardassians hit the enterprise. (I can't believe I just said that) Luckily enuff Andrew came to the rescue to take me to get ready to be funny at 8 in the AM for the close up competition. Which leads us to..

Sunday: I get to the hotel in time to set up and get in line for my turn to perform. Three rooms to perform in. The first ROCKED, the second I think is where they were putting the deceased con-goers, and the third room was a bit lax but still fun. After that, I took an hour nap until Shoot Ogawa's lecture. Good times. Got some food thanx to the generosity of someone's mom. Then it was time to see if we won anything.

In a word, Nope. In two words, nadda thing. In three words, WTF!! The one person no one expected to win did. From what I heard everyone who WASN'T a judge thought we should have taken it, but it was some tuxedo clad young kid doing doves and card manip. Gee thaz original. His act was rough... this isn't just saying this cuz' he won. It's the 13 years of performing experince telling me this. The guy we thought was gonna win was MAD! Cest' la vie. We didna go to win merely perform and have fun.. and we did. The fact we were the most talked about act that competed made me happy. As for close up, many compliments abounded, but still I lost to Cups and Balls and glitter covered lemons. Second time to lose to a tux and cups and balls. No more competing in TX for me.

Evening show rocked as much ass. Mac King is a god. (To quote P&T) Arden James lives up to the hype and Charlie Frye is a juggling dynamo. Closed out with an illusions how from a Canadian couple who werne't too bad. Their last illusion was very nice.

Once again back to the hotel. Watching people do shots from a thumb tip was well worth the 300$ I had to shell out to help repair the car.

Bizzaro.