Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Let's talk about magic styles. What works? It depends what works best for you honestly. If you are a timid person then comedy is prolly not the way to go unless you can harness that ability to humor. Stan Laurel was a shy man and he made it funny. If you can do that, more power to yahz.

A very popular performing style is the bumbling magi. Carl Balantine was a fore runner of this style. Since then Cole and Co., Otto Wesely, and many others have used this type of act where the magic "kinda" happens to build a reputation. So this might lend itself to the debate of which is best for you? Suave tux and tails... or suave tux and tails that catch fire.

Some of the best and funny acts I have seen look like the magic props are attacking the performer. Incidental comedy is sometimes the best kind. People can relate to things not going as planned to someone. It happens to us everyday.

Some of the best loved characters in entertainment are the underdogs. Charlie Chaplain is a prime example. He was a tiny lone man in a great big world and persevered. Sometimes in very offhanded ways.

It boils down to this: Is it yer ego you are trying to sell, or your art? Were you not hugged enough as a child and need to look kool in order to feel cool? Or do you have the confidence to not get it always right and make something unique... In magic there is more questions to life than, "Is this your card?"

So you can either be another faceless interchangeable magical head, or you can be your own person. Find what makes you tick and how you work best and go with it. In the end, if you stick with it, you'll be rewarded. (Maybe not monetarily, but hey... it could happen)

Bizzaro.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Hey there I know I haven't been around much. Not having net access but once a week does that. (It also makes for a more creative time. Well that and hot glue.) I'm still here so check back soon for some new posts. Until then feel free to check out the new photos of a horrific mutant Zom-bunny.

Bizzaro.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Gee that sounded much cooler in the ad...

It's a familiar phrase. NO WIRES NO STRINGS!! (It's thread) NO WIRES NO THREAD!! (It's string) NO WEIRD MOVES!! (There is a weird move but using the word weird keeps them from getting sued) YOU COULD BE NAKED!!! (Thumb tip)

Regardless, the ads are made so the trick sounds better. This is why I will NOT buy something I don't see performed first. This is also one of the ONLY advantages to the internet magic shop. Video demos. Sure you can't say, "What does that do, or that, or this, or...", but thaz better for your health anyway. Getting smacked around in a magic store is just sad. Regardless, it always sounds better in words than it looks in person. (Especially when the only demo of something you can see online is an animated gif. Here is a tip from me to you: If it's not good enuff to film, it's not good enuff to buy.)

I had a similar experience at the Magic Castle last week. Saw two guys do a show together. One was a Julliard trained pianist (Say that fast, it's fun) and a Vegas magician. Here is what their website said:

"A Vegas magician and a Juilliard-trained concert pianist clash in an evening that celebrates great music and grand illusion. Can they escape the heat from the Martha Stewart Kitchen of Death in a Minute Waltz? Comical. Harmonious. Discord.
"


Now don't get me wrong it's a good idea but it sounds better in theory than in their practice. Not enough piano, too much dead space (And box illusions), and they had to resort to using a rabbit. Thaz just cheap applause kids. We all know it.

I think with some tweaking their act could be really good. At this point the females in the background were more engaging. (Not cuz' of their scantily clad-ness, but they were amusing to watch react to the show.)

So what's my point? I'll tell you. I hate the shadow box illusion. Sure makes NO sense but stick with me on this. In writing it would sound kool, but in watching it kinda gives itself away. Imagine this: An empty box with a light in it. The front door is paper so the light can be seen thru it. Shadows are cast on the paper. How is this possible? The box was empty.. yet there are masks, dragons, hands, etc being projected on the door. How is that.. oh a girl just appeared in the box. Well it must have been her.

Makes sense doesn't it?

Now I am sure many people are fooled by this. (My friend watching wasn't) Regardless, these are the same people fooled by a bevel base on ANY illusion but thinking people know where the shadows came from. I think the best shadow box effect I have seen was Dimmare. He combined Origami with a shadow box and folds a Pomeranian into a plant and then into a girl. That makes sense. (Kinda). Thus going from a lame appearance to an almost visual transformation. My point on this is thus: If yer gonna do shadow box, leave yer bitches in the base. It's more amazing. Produce them another way. You figure it out.

Yes I am sure someone will get offended with me saying "bitches" to describe an assistant. Life sucks. Get a hat. I could have easily said "prop-stitute" (Giggle giggle). It's not meant as an insult merely alliteration. My journal, my rules. Don't like it? Don't read it.

But we still luv you... in the butt.

Bizzaro.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Greetings from the West Coast. Coming to you live from Long Beach, CA for the official Waffles of the Damned shindig with the Cult of the Eye. With any luck I can hit up le Magic Castle this friday. (Take that David Oliver)

Regardless, we all know how much talk there is in this blog about not being like the Ass Hat and doing street magic the proper way, right? Well I thought I would comment on a few things about the art of street performance as observed in New Orleans. First there is no RIGHT way to do street theater, but there is a hell of a lot of wrong ways to do street theater. (Sounds classier when you call it that too.)

Two of the shools of thought are to do many many quick shows. Quantity WITH quality. The other of course is do a fooking long show. There are ups and downs to both of these. Let's examine them shall we?

So you want to do a 45 minute street act. The upside to this is that you can draw a MUCH larger crowd and therefore increase your Hat. (Money you take in at the end of a show) The downside to this is that if yer show is lacking good strong attention getting stuff you can and will have a lot of walk offs. People will only spend 3/4ths of an hour of THEIR time if YOU make it worth their while. How do you do this? I'll talk about that later.

Next is the shorter but easily to repeat shows. Again on the street you HAVE to be good. The street is a busy distracting place and everyone has places to see and people to do. Therefore if you have a good 8-10 act of strong visual stuff and skill you too can make much money.

So you can either work continually for about the same amout or do 3-5 big shows a day and pull in much. Again there is no right answer, you just have to be good at what you do. I have seen both work just fine. So the question is what do you do in a larger show?

Well at first a few small things to draw a crowd. Some stop a few people to see a trick and go. Some yell and beat on things. Some do a combo of the two. (With it's variations.) Well then you do some amazing magic, sleight of hand, comedy, etc. One of the tactics best used is to destroy someone's money. This not only keeps the person who lent you the 20$ around (sometimes) but also keeps others around to see if your gonna find it or get beat up.

So hwo do you use money and keep it funny and magical. Thaz where Gazzo, Chellini, and pretty much any other street performer come in. The cups and balls. Most every street person with a table and fresh fruit does this trick and, in all honesty, it kills. (Especially when the money is in the orange, lemon, lime, etc at the end.) Problem is what if you hate cups and balls? Then do a chop cup routine... or a two cup routine. What if you don't have a large shaped hat to produce a melon from? Get one!

What if you want to be different and not do this well established effect used for ever and ever and ever and ever and... well you get the idea. Remember, there is no right way to do street magic, just plenty of wrong ways. Cups and balls and fruit are well known to get reactions, money, and applause... then again so is fire eating and dove productions. It really depends if you want to be like two other guys in New Orleans or want to be different. Only problem with being different is you better be damn good to be different. It's possible. It happens. The question is: Can it happen to you? If the answer is yes, then make it so.

Make it JUST so...

Bizzaro.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

"Yer always a slave to something...."

I cannot believe I have forgotten to ever MENTION this but here goes.... Music. Thaz right. Tunes, songs, ditties, jingles, noize. Whatever you call it it always adds a bit of that extra something to a show.It could be comedy, drama, action, excitement. Any good stage show needs it. Look at ANY of the pros and see how they do it. (Even if "let me see that thong" isn't yer taste in songs you'll get the idea.)

Watch any movie. Do you know what gets people swept up into the moment more than the acting. Well obviously I am gonna say the music, buuuuut thaz not all. It's everything. Many elements lead up to that moment of belief. Many of our beloved stage illusionists would be nowhere without their background score. Also if they had picked the wrong piece of music. It takes a bit of time to get to know what will work and what fits the piece you need. Here are a few tips to help you out if you are wondering how to improve your tune handling ability.

1. Don't use overly popular modern music: First off it's everywhere and no one really wants to hear it again. It's called pop music for a reason. It could easily be called fad music. I once knew a guy who used a backstreet boys song in his act. There are many things wrong with this. (Could have been worse, he could have used New Kids on the Block) If you use most of today's modern music for a mixed crowd you are going to run into people who just do NOT like that type of tripe. They will lose interest IMMEDIATELY because of the music. You run that risk with any music you use, but the more unknown or unobtrusive it is, the better... This leads me to..

2. Know yer Audience: Hell this is a no brainer. This applies to ANYTHING you do. However if yer going to be working a rock and roll night club don't use soothing soft rock and if yer doing a nice family show do not use Marilyn Manson. (I mean sure his song "Cake and Sodomy" is perfect for any sub-trunk routine but curb that urge I plead you.)

3. Use Instrumentals: Aside from the fact that most classical music is now public domain, there is a very good reason to use music sans words. If it is a song that ANYONE knows they will shift their mind away from you and try to remember what it is, where they know it from, what the lyrics are, who sings it, etc. They will not totally focus on you. This also kinda goes back to #1 up there. Use a nice obscure instrumental track, it will help you in the long run. I am not saying use ONLY that. There is only so much techno music or 60's bossanova one person can take. There are many songs with words that just WORK with a magic piece. I'm just saying.. be careful.

4. Pick stuff you would listen to normally: It helps when you know the music so well, not just because you have heard it in practice 50 zillion times, that you can adjust and know your timing. When you like what you use you will never get sick of it and actually enjoy yourself more on-stage. Know thyself.

Lastly let me comment on the "Timed RIGHT to the music" thing. Many magic routines are so dependent on the music piece that if something messes up or gets out of time they are in trouble. This rarely happens and it can add a lot but there is no rule that sez you can't have the music as a more background aesthetic and use it as you please. It helps not to be restricted by your surroundings. (Unless yer into that S&M type of stuff. You know, skittles and M&M's.)

Music can be the key you need to get the reaction you are looking for. I would comment more but my brain has been fuzzy all day and it is 5:30 in the morning.

And I promise this journal will go back to more ranting about magic itself and not the people abusing it.. even myself. Regardless, welcome back.

Bizzaro.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Oh I feel a rant coming on... (good thing I am listening to swing music or this could get ugly)

I have previously mentioned the rise of magic blogs and their propensity for going that EXTRA mile to talk about what's bad in magic. I am all for it, but geez people there is a line. Now improper business practices, stealing other material, reviews of tricks all well and good. However I fail to see where going online and critiquing someone else's act without them giving a damn what you think or asking yer opinion comes into play. Yah I know free country and alla that junk but...

I think if you took all of the hours these people spend surfing the net just LOOKING for stuff to bitch about you would find it greatly outnumbers the hours they spend practicing, performing, or improving their art, character, or presentations. Now true, some of these people are self-proclaimed non-pro's or retired of sorts from magic. Thaz fine.

Why do I bring this up? Well a while back on the magic cafe someone decided to bring up the fact that someone I know made a joke in one of his online videos about inventing the ambitious card. Oh man did everyone go batshit over this. Funny thing is that line did what it was soley intended to do. It worked beautifully. I had a good laugh.

Well while I was away it seems someone else found this site and made light of it on another blog. Some unkind words were said. This again falls under the category of "Who asked you?" Mind you anyone with a brain in their head, or a modicum of sense has better things to do than listen to the blather of what someone else thinks on something that they are perfectly free to decide for themselves. (Gee I think I just ousted myself there... oops.)

Let me say a little something for those who like to randomly critique other people's stuff when yer safe online.
1. Get all your facts. Making assumptions about stuff you have no idea about is kinda silly and juvenile.
2. Try to be more respectful of someone else's art. Just remember this... "Where is your professionally done promo video?" I guarantee the person you are bad mouthing doesn't care what you think and someday it could come back to bite you in the ass.
C. Remember: They can find out who you are and meet you in person someday.

Now reviewing a product online is a bit different. You are informing someone (if yer un-biased about it) of the pros and cons of an item from an informed ear. If you are a foul mouthed little wanker that comments on spelling mistakes and then doesn't spell check your own review you might want to re-think your logic. (For those of you keeping tabs, I misspell stuff on purpose. The english language is my BITCH!!)

Oh by the way, one more thing on blogs and I shall never speak of them again... what is the deal with making a magic blog and then putting in crap that has NOTHING to do with magic? They make Live Journals for stuff like that. I am sure you might be amused by ejaculation reports and wanna put it in yer magic blog.. but can we please keep your private life more.. private?

I'm not trying to offend anyone here, and these are just my opinions. Don't listen to me or anyone else. Listen to the voices in your head. They just might be trying to tell you something. (Practice more... get off the internet... stop wasting your life...)

(shakes head)Woo what was that?

Bizzaro.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Who am I to break a trend?

Many blogs spend a good amount of time linking to other websites they like or dislike and also give shout outs to others. So clear me some space on that bandwagon and let's have some fun shall we? First off www.SmappDooDa.com is open. It even has that new website smell again.

I don't claim that my website is great and powerful or anything. Never have. Others like it and I am happy about that. Now let's look at say... This Guy. His site is slick and, as many magicians with more money than perceivable skill, is all flash. I have a problem with flash sites. First, on low end machines they lag. Sure they look pretty but some people go a tad nutty with it. Also many new browsers clamoring for yer attention, like Firefox, have nigh-impossible to install flash plugins. I have ONE flash object (Used to be a java applet and even LESS people can view those damn things) and it's small. Even 56k can download it quickly.

Many of these magic sites remind me of going to a goth club. I want to be an individual... so I am gonna dress like everyone else. Once someone has a good idea, then EVERYONE wants one. Marching to the beat of a different drummer... but thaz a hell of a crowd following that one drummer.

Ok enuff pessimism, as long as I have been online so has this gal's site Allison's Backstage. I started going to it in it's infant stages when it was on an angelfire site. (Yah so was mine. You can still find it's web address if you look hard enuff.) Over the years she has made it better, faster, stronger than before. Always very slick and well done. She used to have a place for magicians to post links but that went away. Hey for a Copperfield fan she is a damn good artist. So kudos to her and her sis. (You can even find one of her art pieces being used on my site if you look hard enuff)

So what have we learned tonight? If you insist on using flash and yer a magician... do it to Ronald McDonald. It's funnier.

Bizzaro.

(Why is the word blog not in the spell check database of a blog site? Someone explain this to me please!)

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Shameless self promotion time!!

Thaz right kids it's 2005 and that means a big change!! (Not just underwear either.) 2004 saw a brand new promo video, and 2005 brings about a brand new SmappDooDa.com!!

This friday the home of demented magic gets a total facelift!! So stop by and see all the new shiny stuff and play with the toys. We'll leave a fire lit for yah.

Bizzaro.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

It's that time again...

Time to make some people not like me again. (Redundant) First off I wanna say that I have been writing a lot in the journal over the last year and I try my best (save for a few pokes and jabs here and there) to stay off what many of the other magic blogs have fallen into. I of course speak of gossip and drama.

Now there is nothing wrong with other people reporting this. I personally think it's good to see that magic isn't just a bright shiny happy thing all the time. It's dirty and tarnished like everything else in the world. This blog was set up to discuss what I do or do not like about magic itself. I'll let others report on Ted Lassen or on how much of a bonehole Steve Brooks is.

Here you will find nothing but clean wholesome fambly fun.... as long as yer fambly is neurotic and dysfunctional.. but hey whose isn't? On with the show!!

First off I wanna talk about a few current events.. or more accurately current products. I have purchased two new marketed tricks. One was hyped beyond belief and was waaay too expensive for what it was. The other was mildly hyped and, while being a little bit of a "Well yah duh" the extra included bit is a grand idea.

The first one I won't mention by name by those in the know will know by the description I give. First off everyone and their dog talked up this effect. (As we all know the reliability of information on the magic cafe isn't always just that... with that being said...) It was said you could vanish, switch, appear, and damn near turn water to wine with these "Utility" devices. (Anytime something is called just as good as a thumb tip I get leery.. and I don't mean Dennis.)

Now many people speculated and it was said the objects you vanish do NOT have to be metal. Sure it helps and no they don't have to be buuuuuut.... there are limitations. First off the only way to do a deck switch is if the deck was in a card box and the only way to effectively switch coins is if it's Canadian currency. Ladies and gentlemen if you need something special to switch decks or vanish a coin please get the hell out of magic. Geez.

Mind you I got this device on X-mas and have been toying with it to give it a fair chance. To all of the people who thought this was a big "wow wished I thought of that first" you prolly have never cracked open a hard drive. I've been using this idea for a while as have many others.

Now the person who released this was known for saying you can vanish something and turn around and see nothing. Ending clean as it were. Well thaz a bit misleading. (From what I understand not an unusual practice.) Also the demo video, (Which was kinda poorly done froma video production guy standpoint), raised a great many questions and a few vauge answers. So regardless, not worth the money but hey now I can erase all of my roommate's pr0n videos.

Now since everyone loved that one and it was lackluster, the newest one that has drawn a lukewarm response is Steve Fearson's Self Vanish. (Find the link yourself you lazy bastahd.) Even tho' this new technique was cheap (also appeared in other literature as a way to vanish food) and an e-book type thing, there is another brainstorm included with the original. Definitely something to think about, especially if yer a stage performer. (Already working on ideas meself.)

However the idea has merit and CAN work to scare one person. Sure you read it and think, "Screw That!" but there are 1,000's of effects like that. However in the right hands it can be powerful. (Mike Close/ genii bottle anyone?) So for little money, don't bitch so much. You paid more for less elsewhere I guarantee.

I want to add that the fact I kinda know Mr. Fearson has NO bearing on my opinion on said release. My first thought was, "Oh come on!" but the second part is well worth it and with some thinking, so was the first part... but I do like his hat in the photos.

Ok well if you have read this far I guess you can contemplate this line from Star Wars. "Who is more foolish. The fool or the fool who follows the fool."

Just remember, don't believe everything you read cuz' 14% of all statistics are just made up anyway.

Bizzaro.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Life is too short for ands and ifs...

That goes around for everything actually. However since this is a magic themed site let's stick to that. If you have dreams of your own show, stage, TV, cable access... whatever, then don't let anyone or anything stop you. If you have a fire burning inside of you to create art and the medium you have chosen is prestidigitation, then do not hesitiate. If it's your dream follow those dreams. Life is too short... and sometimes, it's shorter than you think.

There is more to magic than practice in front of a shiny reflective surface. There is testing, research, self promotion, education, patience, discipline. All of these things make up all of the world's best and most well known entertainers. You can never give up or let ANYONE tell you you cannot make it if you have that fire burning inside of you.

The only people who truly never make it are those who give up. (Or get killed, but thaz not as poetic).

Don't lose sight. It's there, just walk towards it. At your own pace.. and no one else's.

Bizzaro.

"It's your dream. What are you doing to make it a reality?"

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Wow two posts in a row. What are the odds? This week... pretty damn good I guess.

So what's this all about then? Tonight's episode is entitled "Too young for Mentalism" or "Get a haircut and get a real job". Recently in a few conversations at Knights o' sleights here in NOLA, it was commented that there is a large trend of younger lads getting into mentalism. Only problem with that (Only one?) is unless you are between the age of 30-something and DEATH then it's hard to be taken too terribly seriously. Some things are better with age... cheese, whine, and mind reading.

Now while people like Jay Sankey and Mr. Asshat have made mentalism very easy accessible to the youth, the problem is to actually pull it off you don't have to LOOK like Phil Goldstein but at least be closer to his age. If some clearasil pad needin' emo lookin' kid came up to me and tried to read my mind via a card trick I would know he bought it or it was just some dime store hooker... er.. trick.

Now if you look more the age of say well anyone in their 40's then I might just be a little more mystified. So while yer learning a center tear, glimpse, and how to use a shiner why not hone yer performing skills and save it for when you get sick of the card tricks.

By the way... don't call yerself a mentalist. Only we know what that means. Stick with mind reader, psychic, or lonely loser who obviously can't really predict the future or read minds or else they would have a better job.

Bizzaro.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Baby Lou tattoo

Wow an update, go figure. Being in New Orleans kinda distracts you. Also having to pay for net access kinda keeps you away from it. Regardless... riddle me this Copperfield. How far will you go for yer magic? I know a guy who actually has his fave card tattooed on his leg. Not only for style, obviously, but for a trick. (This effect falls under my theory of coincidence isn't magic. Now if the tat wasn't there first THEN was that might be magical.)

I mean this ink is big man. 3-4 inches tall. A number and a pip. Thaz dedication. (The fact he has a cute wife amazes us all.) This raises an interesting array of questions. First, does every damn magician have a fave card? If so, would YOU be willing to go under the knife, as it were, for yer art and affections. (or is that afflictions?)

I guess the only other thing that comes to mind is that if a girl sez she likes tattoos on guys would you be willing to show it off and expect them to go oh cool without the card trick? Having a a card drawn on yer body is a bit.. well.. dorky.. but as I always say magicians are indeed dorks. I mean fucking dorks. Seriously. We have to be. If we had a social life we would have jobs, cars, and better body modification ideas. (By the way I don't exclude myself from dorkdom. I have ever episode of Darkwing Duck on my computer and can name most of the first series of Transformers toys.. but at least I can get a date. Figure that one out.)

Being a misfit isn't so bad... but as Eric Mead has told many young magicians, "Learn to talk about something other than magic".

We are 138...

Bizzaro.

PS: My favorite card is the five of spades. Mind you I only have a duplicate of it in my wallet. I'm a big wuss. Sue me.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Tomorrow morn we head off to New Orleans for all of Jan until feb 8th (Fat Tuesday) to perform magic on the streets. Dunno how much net access I will have buuuuuuuut for those who want to keep up on the haps there I have started Nolamagic to keep alla youz guys updated.

I did this so as not to spam this journal and lose the point of magic rants. I'll still be here from time to time but the other one will be home for a while. BE well and for the love of whatever gawd you pray to, practice and stop sucking ok?

Bizzaro.

Friday, December 24, 2004

When I get off of an internet connection that isn't slower than a hamster ina wheel I will post my review of the movie SHADE which I FINALLY saw. Until then happy etc etc...


Bizzaro.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

So no one knows the answer to my quiz hunh? Thaz too bad.. well either that or no one cares. Ah well. Watched "A White Christmas" on the big screen. You know... Danny Kaye, Bing Crosby, some hot 1954 gals, and lavish outfits. Watching that I realized there will never be movies like this made again cuz' thaz not the style today. The only time we see choreography, lavish costumes, and people in tuxedoes is.. well magic illusion shows.

I have always said that magis is usually a decade or so behind the times and watching that drove that point home like a drunken River Phoenix. It is hard for magicians to keep up cuz' they either immerse themselves too much or not at all. It's either tuxedoes or they go so basic they look like homeless kids.

We don't have the kinda performers we used to. People like Mr. Crosby and Dean Martin, and all of the old classics had style, panache, and charisma. They knew how to dress and live and didn't really try to hide it. They were performers. They know how to relate to their audience. They danced, they sang, they were musically inclined. We don't have people in the limelight like that much anymore. Too many one trick ponies. I blame American Idol.

I have been saying in this thing for at least a year that you should always be yourself. This is gonna be no exception. Be an original... and for the love of god dress nice.

Bizzaro.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Well here it is a year later and what do we have to show for it? A lot of the same old stuff really. So since I am two days late (I had no net access bite me) and as a celebation.. er.. celebration of this blog's mission to amuse and educate I have a contest. The last one went over so damn well I figure this one outta garner at LEAST 2 or three replies.

In the recent indie booklet I released documenting the Bizzaro Flip and Fan Control I priced the book at a very odd $13.80. Tell me what the significance of that price is and you shall receive a FREE .pdf copy of the book itself. (This way you'll get it quicker. We've had hell with the printing people in Dallas.) So email away and you too could already be a winner!!!

In retrospect I want to thank everyone who might have read this site thus far. I'm not doing it for notoriety nor attention. I could care less what you think of my views but I'll be damned if they are not mine. Hope you've enjoyed thus far and let's see how far this will go.

Bizzaro.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Last time I talked about how the blog technology has caught up to magic. (or vice versa. Who sez magicians are behind the times? All it takes is one person to get a good idea and bammo!!! Everyone has one.) Well the newest addition to magic is >Dun dun dunnnnnn< Piracy!!

Avast ye scurvey prestidigitators. Prepare to be mother boarded!!! Thaz right videos, manuscripts, and whatnot are appearing on certain search engine programs. Now I won't say magic is full of unscrupulous mofos.. but it is. Usually little 14 year old wankers who think it's kool or funny to do so. Personally I see only one upside. TRY BEFORE YOU BUY!!

I like to know what I am getting into. Why buy a car without testing it out? Why buy a magic trick you only read the descrition for or only hear the hype. Poor judgement on yer part. I like to hear a few songs off an album then buy it if I like it honestly. (Even if the band themselves get squat from their album sales.) It's nice to see a few tidbits from a video or book and if I like them I will buy them in hard copy... or I can read it outright if I think the author is a complete tard.

Now I do not condone this. I wouldn't do it. I might from time to time take advantage of it, but thaz my decision. Sure I am going to hell, or New Jersey, or whatever horrid place you can think of, but at least I will be appreciated there.

But seriously folks, welcome to the now. It's a downhill battle. Fight it, accept it, or ignore it. It's yer call. I'll stick to just making my own stuff and not watch someone else's crap.

Bizzaro.

(Stay tuned for the one year ann. post coming soon!!)

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Nope I am not dead I just haven't been online much. Not having net access will do that to you. However as previously stated it WILL make you more creative. I have got in a lot of practice, creation, and drawing doen in the last week. Regardless, here is my one little quick thought about all of the magic blogs popping up online as of late... are yah ready?

"No One Is Innocent."

Thaz right where it was once safe to go on a message board or banter back and forth flaming each other, people can now take these little nuggets of joy into a wider audience to show just how much of an ass you, them, or all parties involved are mental midgets.

Careful tho'. You better be willing to stand up for what you say cuz' one day, it can come back to nibble on yer bum something fierce.

The net has eyes....

Bizzaro.

(PS: Dec. 11th will be the year anniversary of my random updates and rantings. Sure I don't go around promoting this site. Mainly cuz' I don't care what you think. If I did I would turn comments on and if you REALLY got pissed off at me you can email me.. which no one has really ever done... of course with my most recent revelation you people really should think twice about emailing a known magic blogger. Reagrdless, maybe we'll do something special. Now if I could only get my products out to people in time. Here is a word to the wise. When dabbling in business, make sure you can do it all yer damn self.)

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Touching back on the creativity thing, I have realized that some of the best and most creative magicians around had one thing in common. THEY DIDN'T SIT IN FRONT OF A DAMN COMPUTER ALL DAY!!!

Think about it. In a time before computers what did magicians do? Read? Practice? Create maybe? How about all of the above!! Take a week off from technology and see what you come up with. Seriosuly. Want to be creaative, seclude yourself.

Just some quick sage advice from me to you. Deal with it.

Bizzaro.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Doritos and Milk....

I don't know what it is about Doritos that make me wanna drink milk. At least it's not Pepsi and Milk. (Shudders) So I see a lot of the same questions pop up on message boards a lot. "What do you do about hecklers?", "What do you do if something goes awry?" (Mind you they don't say awry. Heck most can't even spell that word properly.), "How do you think up new tricks?", and my fave "How does (Such-and-such) trick work?"

Well aside from the proverbial bitch slap I wanna give people who ask that last one, allow me to comment on the other three. When I was growing up, (And ten fold people who are older than me by a good +10 years), we didna have this new fangled inter-web doo-hicky to help us along and answer our questions at a fevered pitch. Yah hadda go search thru yer skool library and PRAY no one had gotten to that copy of The Amateur Magician's Handbook before you. You had to beg yer parents to drive you to that seedy magic shop run by that creepy old guy just to buy needle thru the arm to scare yer seventh grade talent show audience... or was that just me?

Anywho, point is there is so much information at the fingertips of everyone now it's just too damn easy and the journey is way too short. So before you ask the same question that has been asked a few hundred times why not look around a bit first. If magic has taught me anything, it's that patience is a harsh mistress who will kick you squah in the wumpus if given half the chance. So how do you handle hecklers?

Well first off don't fight back. It just makes you look like a jerk and then the show becomes about you... and them. The audience will side with one or the other and if yer a dick about it they will side against You. Mind you the best teacher is experience, but here are a few tips. A. Ignore their nasty ass. Simple as that B. Don't make a joke at the heckler, make it to the audience. "Hey look everyone, another of my adoring fans!" or something of that type. Don't make it a personal attack, just a general statement. 3. Call them up onstage and have them hold something for you the whole time like it is part of the show. When they are up there with you holding something with both hands, then they will prolly hush up. Just keep reassuring them the glass of water they are holding has a purpose. At the end just take a drink and bow and send them on their way. Depending on the situation you CAN be mean to the hecklers and make it part of the show. They will respect you for it. Work the bar scene for that kind of experience tho'. Nothing teaches yah quicker than a frat boy with a few too many beers in him.

What is something messes up? Simple....don't tell anyone. Kids improv can, is, and will always be your friend. Learn it, use it, love it as yer very own. It will save yer kiester on many occasions. Learn to be quick on yer feet. Play it off. Yah drop something, don't look frazzled. Stop, look at the ceiling like it fell from the sky, shrug, and pick it up.. go on. Go for comedy when a mess up occurs. There is a brief moment of tension when a snafu happens. A funny comment, look, action, or the like will ease them off that tension and what do they know? They have prolly never seen yer show before. Only we know what will screw up aye? If yer going thru hell... keep going. - Winston Churchill

Here is a hard one to answer. Some people's minds, much like Jesus, work in mysterious ways. Some people just ARE creative. Sylvester The Jester is one of those guys. His mind is a scary place.. and so is his garage. Actually it's s a pretty cool place, it's just the way he comes up with ideas that are so far out of the box they are in another room entirely from where the box even is. Best thing I can say about learning to create more is live you life to the fullest. Bombard your mind will sorts of stimuli. Don't limit your horizons. Have multiple interests, and to quote Eric Mead, "Learn to be able to talk about something other than magic."

Learn how things work. What makes things tick. How devices are constructed. Just say to yourself: Nothing is impossible. Think of the goal first. "I want to accomplish this. How do I do this?" Then devise the method. The more you know not only about magic and techniques, but of how the world works and how the human mind works, then you will find a way. There is always a way!

So that is a long ass post whot? Hope it shed some light into yer dull little lives for another 10 minutes of yer life yah can't have back. I am sure there is more to come soon enuff. Toodles.

Bizzaro.