Why am I stuck in magician Hell?

Pandora opened the box, which her father told her not to open. It let pain and suffering into the world, but after them came a small one named Hope, which said 'I follow them wherever I go.'

sure it has nothing to do with magic but I liked it.. you can find more Here. So what shall we talk about tonight kidz? Gather round' the campfire whilst Uncle Bizzaro resounds you with scary tales of internet oddity. You know there are fetishes for everything. People who like to lick eyeballs, people who like to make sweet sweet love to an armpit or two. However I dunno what the name is for this next story.. perhaps I shall title it.. The Tale of the Creepy Prestidigiphiles!!! (Insert creepy theramin music here.)

So there I am. (No matter where you go, there you are.) Sitting on my computer. A practice I find way too common actually. I get an odd message on my Yehoo messenger.
Weirdo: Are you really a magician?
Me: Thaz what they tell me.
Weirdo: You do stage Illusions?
Me: Nah thaz not my style.
Weirdo: So you don't cut a person in half then?
Me: What's the point? We like to do things differently. You do any magic yerself?
Weirdo: No, I just like it.
Me: Well thaz why I keep doing it. Gawd knows it's not for the money.
Weirdo: Wanna do a mock show. You can saw me in half...
Me: .................

More or less paraphrased from the 4-5 times this has happened. Yes boys and girls there are people with magic illusion fetishes. They want to cyber magic show with me so I can cut them in half. Male and female. I do NOT understand this..at.. all!!!

I mean sure it's cool to be onstage but to get a (I hope not sexual) thrill from the thought of being used and abused by a crappy box magician really worries me. I cannot explain it, define it, nor understand it.. so I will just say this... DOUBLEYOUTEEEFF!!!!

Bizzaro.