Friday, December 12, 2003

PREPARE ALL ASSES FOR VICIOUS ENTRY!!!!

Ahem.. in otherwords it's time for another daily rant. I am sure I will skip days soon, BUT NOT TODAY GALVATRON!!!

Today's venomous post will circle (jerk) around the concept of just who the hell do we work for anyway? Magicians? Naaaah. They only pay you to do conventions, and doing magic for a buncha magicians at a convention is like doing magic for retarded monkeys that have been exposed to radiation. Smart enuff to be receptive but too stupid to show it effectively. (That outta piss off some people... well not really people. Magicians aren't people.) Where was I? Oh yah... magic for real people. We try and invent moves to fool other magicians. This is as effective as people who learn karate moves to stop other karate moves. How many people are you REALLY gonna fight in real life that know praying meerkat style? Seriously...

Sadly I fall prey to it too. It's like a frickin' tractor beam pulling you in.. "Must.. invent.. new.. ideas..to fool.. ingrates." I dunno why we do it. We just do. Creativity I guess, but trying to fool another magician is ridiculous. Sure doing a double lift from the bottom of the deck will fool a guy who knows what a double lift actually is, but someone who doesn't know could care LESS!!! (and less, and less, and less.) Someone who is unknowing in the ways of magic can be fooled with a double faced card. They just.. don't.. know. So why do we keep trying? Good question. New stuff is good, but the classics are classic for a reason DAMMIT!!!

This brings me to the fact of magicians who keep inventing more and more magic crap to sell. Do we really need anymore trick decks of cards that just do ONE thing? Do we really? Now I am not gonna name any names (in a non-bold font) but Jay Sankey and Henry Evans need to be stopped!!! They keep putting out 10 tricks and out of those 10 only ONE is good. The rest are, in the real world, crap!!! Killer key is ok, and Tribute to Verone is good. Thaz it!! (Airtight is good too, but it's been around forever.) Why do we keep putting out so much junk!? For the love of the art? To further it? To expand our horizons? Hell no.. we love the almighty $Dollar$. (Which is my only reasoning for sankey's capitalist ventures. He's Canadian. Their money is worth about 1/5th of ours.)

You know if we spent less time trying to fool ourselves and making badly made products that only work if the stars are aligned right, the room is dimly lit, and the person has had a frontal lobotomy we might just actually get somewhere with this damn thing. Get those magic books out of the games and hobbies section and into the performing arts section where they belong.. right next to the books on Mime.... hmmmm... ok so it's not all wine and roses.

Bizzaro.

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