Ok so I don't update as much as I should however this time I have an excuse. From Wed morn until Mon evening I shall be in Long Beach, CA. I shall return with an update into the seemy underbelly of the magic world as I shall be visiting the magic castle to be sure. So if you want to kill some time go see our brand new Promo Video Updated for 2004.

Also if you wanna amuse yerself head over to Space Slugs dot Com and watch episode 5!!

Toodles.

Bizzaro.

Is there a method to our madness?

I know for a fact there are some tricks I create that work only for the way I perform. My style, demeanor, and body motions. Mind you I think most effects created are like that, but when they try to sell them, it becomes mainstream and loses something. Somethings only make sense in the hands of the originator. Some moves only come off correctly when performed the way they were intended.

So why do we bother to sell our personal moves for people to butcher and hack them to hell? Do we want to be remembered for something like Alex Elmsley? Do we want to be considered a great magical thinker like Eugene Burger? Or is the fact that we just wanna make a big fat buck like Donald Trump? Some moves should stay with who creates them because if it is tailored to their body language. It makes sense.

Bizzaro.

C is for Cookie

Which has NOTHING to do with my post, but I am listening to The Independents version of that song. It's awesome.

Ok so the other day I was talking to someone about how much I really don't like cube zag or hardly any other box illusions. (Which I think perturbed them a bit. I wasn't saying I hate them for doing it, just I really hate that trick. More than I have a major disdain for that damn Interlude illusion.) When I was younger I was all into doing box illusions. Then as someone put it "I snapped" along the way and started doing magic a bit differently and really going against what has been established as what a magician is. So why don't I like box tricks you ask?

Well riddle me this Batman, if you could REALLY cut a girl into pieces or stretch them or crawl thru them or WHATEVER would you really need a big gaudy box to do it? Why not save 3,000 dollars and just do it. Hmmm maybe because it's a TRICK!! GASP NO!! Oh but yes. So now why do I hate the cube zag? Prolly the same reason I hate all the illusions I do. They make NO sense. Oh sure Copperfield tries to justify it by saying stuff like "I had this nightmare once...". Give me a break the only nightmare this guy has is that his cocaine supply runs dry and he wakes up married to Lance Burton. Ok sure you can make up half assed reasons to cut yourself or someone else in half, but what is yer excuse for shoving different shaped tubes thru a box? The only way I can see this is to make it look like a giant version of that square peg in the round hole thing they give to kids to teach them tab A goes into slot B. (We still have trouble with that as the years go on right ladies?)

So I am not saying I hate the magicians who do these tricks I just don't like the tricks themselves. Hell I will still watch them being done especially if it is a good presentation. Only a few magi have had boxes make sense. I wish more would.

But hey magic isn't supposed to make sense right?

Bizzaro.

"What makes you a magician?"

This question was posed on a Penguin Magic forum. Many of the responses were just about how good someone was or how long they do it or if they are a "pro". My response was as thus...

"There is a point here that is being missed methinks. Professional by definition is someone who makes ALL if not most of his living from his job. Now this does not mean you won't GET a real job and do one show every 6 months and still live with yer fambly. No no. You can live on your own doing it.

What does it mean to be a magician? It's not being flawless at your skill. It's not knowing every trick in the book. It's not even being better than other people. (It helps but that is not it.) You use the knowledge you have learned to entertain others and give them an enjoyable experience. You weave many elements together to make something that furthers the art and outlook of what we do."

Now there is a lot missing from this. Tonight me and a magic fiend of mine were discussing this. In today's instant gratification society kids have access to TONS of info none of us EVER had when we started. Even before I started it was even more sparse. No videos, no DVD's or internet. It was a book here and there and you had to follow the teachers around and watch them. They in turn had to watch you to see if you were worthy to teach. Today I will NOT teach someone who is not ready. To apprentice a learned person is hard work. Magic taught me discipline and patience. (Just like martial arts but without all the pretense.)

Today very few have patience nor will they research or try hard to make themselves better. They just go with what they are told or think they know. To quote Billy Barty in Willow: "Forget everything you know, or think you know." Which finger has the power to change the universe. If you can answer this question you are well on the way to being an apprentice yourself. (Of what I don't know.)

To be a magician it takes knowing that you are not one. You are an entertainer. You put together many elements to entertain the masses because JUST being a magician.. is well.. boring. It takes knowing your art and how to use it and how to teach it. A magician is more than putting girls ina box, and producing doves. (I know I know.. how dare I say such things?) Is a dancer someone who JUST dances? Is an artist simply someone who JUST draws? Is a mime.. well a mime is just a mime we'll leave it at that. Is a magician JUST someone that fools people and gets paid to do it? Nay... it is more.

Much, much more.

I'll leave you to figure out the rest.

Bizzaro.

I will let This speak for itself.

Bizzaro.

Mmm high in iron at twice the price.

Someone pleeeeeeese explain to me why there is the trend of people putting coins into one's mouth. Recently it has become a big thing with Mickey Silver and his eyeball scorching Retention Pass. (I.E: it's very good.) It's very unnatural and not very dignified. I can't see Dai Vernon ever doing something like this. (Quite frankly what I have heard about the man he wouldn't have thought much about a lot of today's magic but I digress.) He wore suits, moved slow (not just because of old age), and tried to have an air of refinement. Placing a dirty foreign coin in yer mouth, (I don't mean foreigners are dirty, just their money), is kinda, well.. common. Something David Blaine would do as a common dirty man on the street.

While I am on the subject I think David Blaine's name should be used in the same way actors use the name Macbeth and therefore treated as such. Bad luck if spoken unless otherwise using it in context such as, "I saw David Blaine do this trick on TV and boy did he fuck it up. lemme show you how to do it right." or "Yah I could put my hand thru a window front to steal watches too if I had David Blaines lack of ethics." Regardless.. I digress again. Where was I?

Ah yes, coins in the mouth. Makes no sense to me. This rests right up there with unnatural props and strange hand motions. It also lends itself to my theory of impossible is not amazing. It is a puzzle. "Ok so he put the coin in his mouth and pulled it out of his ear. Either he is as brainless as his choice in clothes OR there is a trick to it. I wonder if I can figure it out." We all know there is no tunnel from the throat to the ear big enough for a coin. It must be magic right? But.. there is no such thing as magic right? Quite the conundrum aye?

I think my point is I sure as hell won't be pretending to eat any coins anytime soon. I know where my money has been... and it's dirty.. oh so dirty.

Bizzaro.

Time to bitch. I know what a shocker. Let's take a look at hocus-pocus' new stuff shall we? (Bad elevator music plays) Woo let's pick on This first. A real functioning metal detector. Wow I bet this just is GREAT for walking around restaurants. Great opener. WEEeeeeeeeooOOOOOOooooo "Egads I have found some metal at this table. What that sir? You say it's the plate in yer head? Can Is tick this magnet to it? No sire stay seated what are you AUGH!! MY FINGERS MY LIFE IS RUINED.. NO MORE SEX FOR ME!!"

Yah a metal detector that makes a child lazer gun or barnyard noises just screams respect and cool doesn't it? Why do people put out these props that they create for themselves and then decide to make money off of it. It would be like me releasing my rose thru the hand effect. It was made for my act in mind. Anyone else doing it just because it looks cool is doing it for the wrong reason. If I convinced enuff young penguin magic kinda kids they needed it they would buy it. However it would become magic closet fodder after a while when they realized there as no practical use for it for their character. Very few demented magi's out there really. Too many effects get released in the name of the almighty dollar. When they are made for one certain person and get marketed for everyone it loses that original presentation flair and becomes another trick that could readily get exposed by a poor performer.

Regardless, I suppose my point is that a metal detector is a dumb idea. Then again so is this.

Bizzaro.

Posted on a sideshow message board but it applies here too.

After being in the entertainment business for a very long time, (Not as long as some but thaz life isn't it?), and seeing egos clash and backstabbing and asskissing and all of that fun stuff that makes the entertainment industry annoying and great at the same time I wanna say a few things. First I have never understood why many of the performers I meet are complete pricks. If they aren't it's because they think they can use you or yer skill to their advantage. I suppose popularity makes you feel all important and all of that crap but some seem to lose sight of why they do what they do. Just because yer a freek as it were doesn't give you the right to try and be a complete outcast to your fans or the places that hire you. Woo yer special you stick pins in yerself, regurgitate, lay in spikes etc etc (Not a personal attack on anyone just a generalization).. so what? Yer still a person and should act as such. Just because you got personal problems doesn't mean you can take it out on others and if you feel so damn high and mighty maybe you SHOULD be taken down a peg or two and remember what it's like to be human again. Don't believe yer own press kit.

Then we have these guys who have been in the business so long be it magic, sideshow, whatever who are so jaded they think they are always in the right because they are older and have "Experience". Sometimes thaz not all you need. An open mind is good too. Maybe some common sense and the willingness to accept that there are differences in people and the world is changing. There is a market for everything, if you can find it and make them believe they need it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion just as I am here so stop bickering, name calling, pointing fingers and letting yer damn egos get the best of you. Defending yerself is one thing, but beating a dead horse is.. well amusing in some countries but not here. Professionals you say? Act like it.

"Arguing on the internet is like racing in the special olympics. Even if you win, yer still retarded."

Bizzaro.
www.smappdooda.com

*This message brought to you by a guy with too much free time and a strong venomous opinion. If you don't like it tough. Thaz life. You have yer views I have mine. Don't tell me mine are wrong and yours are right. It doesn't fly. It's just the way it is. Thank you goodnight. Tip yer waitress.. over.*

It's been awhile. I am sorry children of all ages. Life has sucked, but it's getting better. Now to torture you myself. This is disturbing. (Thanx to Andy for this link. It really really boggles my mind this guy even EXISTS.) This is what I am talking about everytime I am in a Barnes and Noble, Borders, Waldenbooks, and all them other over priced bookstores. Hell even Half Priced books does it too.

Go into ANY bookstore and ask where the magic books are. Where do you end up? Performing arts? No. An art section of any kind? Hell no. Games and hobbies. GAMES AND FREEKING HOBBIES!! Magic has been reduced to a game and hobby in the eyes of the world. Even MIMES have books in performing arts. MIMES OR THE LOVE OF GAWD!! Don't you see what I am saying? This sucks and it's all the fault of kokgobblers like that rotund lawn gnome up there in that link. (mind you this is unfair to lawn gnomes as they actually serve a purpose. I dunno what that is, but I am sure it's important.) Magic has been thrust deep right above mimes but right below jugglers. Hell clowns get more notoriety because they can scare the shit out of people. When was the last time a magician scared you? I don't mean with magic, with just looking like they do. (In otherwords badly dressed 80's fashion victims or closet drag queens.)

I'll tell you what scares me. That magic has gotten this far into a bad place. You say you do a sideshow people are like "Really?" you say I do magic and they go "Oh.. really?" I'm not just gonna blame it on Uncle Bob solely, but the hobbyists have tainted it in the eyes of those who do not know. Do you perform ballet without practicing. Do you go to a Kung Fu tourney without knowing what yer doing? Why buy a trick and screw it up or do it badly. It's easy. Nothing is on the line. It's just a trick. Oh well. I blame the rise of magic shops trying to just turn a buck, online and off. I guess it's kinda like the stripper I used to date. She said "If they're stupid enuff to give me money, I'm gonna take it."

Magic isn't viewed as a serious artform anymore and it prolly won't be ever again. The blame falls everywhere, but mostly on the shoulders of mental midgets like Mr. Shamu Ebay up there. This is why I have shirked the title magician, and gone right to entertainer. Anyone can do magic, but it's harder to entertain people. Think about it... and DON'T buy that DVD!!

Geezus.

Bizzaro.

Word of warning...

I have had a not so great week. Well lemme rephrase that.. not so great 6 months, but the last week to be specific has sucked more so. I lost my phone last week and a few days ago my electricty got cut off. Also might have to lose my place of living. So I may not be updating this page for a bit, but you never know. Hell I am doing it now aren't I? Not like anyone reads this. I know that like 2-3 do from my website hits log. Anyway... just a heads up. I still haven't gotten enuff people for the book contest I had a while back. Only one guy sent a suggestion. I need at least one more. Don't know what I am talking about? Try looking at previous posts. Toodles.

Bizzaro.
www.smappdooda.com

It's a long and dark dangerous winding road creating magic to sell to a discerning crowd of rip off hacks and complete clones. Magic is a very free form thought process. However there are a lot of closed minded gits out there sadly. Many forget that what works for real people doesn't go over well with magi's. Mind you a svengali deck gets real people. Not like it's hard. However magicians try to create stuff to fool other magicians. Others try to do something that appeases both normal people and magicians. (cuz' let's face it, magicians are NOT normal.) One such person is Mickey Silver. Man this guy has taken the retention vanish and amped it up to inhuman proportions. I saw a video of it recently and my god this thing kills. He is going to release a DVD on it soon. This is where I stop and ask "Why"? So every hack can do it and you can make a buck? Is it to further the art but adding a new piece of unknown knowledge to the sub-culture.. or do you just want yer name in the history books?

Regardless it's always the human nature of newest, shiny toy. Even if it's just a move or idea, it's still new and EVERYONE is doing it (or wants to). Gee all the better reason to stay away from it. How can you be an individual by doing everyone else's stuff. Now in the case of techniques and moves it's understandable, but find a place for it IF it fits you. Too many people create stuff that they create for them, pass it off to make a buck, and muddle the world further. Hell I think it sucks when magicians blatantly rip off other guys and there is nothing they can do. Everyone waxes poetic about Meir Yedid's "Fade Out" however no one else seems to know that Peter Duffie came out with "Wipe Out" first. The effect and handling is the same. Would Meir do this knowingly? Mr. Duffie doesn't think so and chalks it up to both of them coming up with the same idea independently. I say PUUUUUHLEEEESE!!! Not my place but I do not think it's cool. But I digress...

So let's talk about new effects that were recently seen. One of such is the Tommy Wonder/ Losander effect "Sphere". Well first off Tommy Wonder revamped the "Zombie" ball by changing the gimmick and afew other things. Looked good. Losander too this Idea and made his now infamous "Floating Table". Quite frankly it's a great effect but fooking expensive for some balsa wood. Also too many people are doing it. So they got together and made the "Sphere" which appears to me to be a self contained (Gimmick and all) zombie. Ok I am down with that. Looks good. (Looks like the sphere version of the floating table but again, I digress.) My problem is, it looks like a fooking Phlat Ball. Un-natural as all hell. You can search around for a video demo if it if you look hard enuff. I am done hunting links down for you lazy buggers. It costs way more money than I would wanna pay for something that looks more out of place than a set of nice cups and balls. Hey slap two top names on the sucker and charge out the wang for it.. whatever. It's yer thing do what you wanna do. Show me a way to make a bowling ball do it, I'll be more impressed.

Bizzaro.
www.smappdooda.com

This Magic Moment...

For us the moment magic happens is when the move occurs. At that moment the magic is done. The hard part is over. Now we just have to turn over that card, reveal that coin, put out that fire, etc etc. However, for the audience they haven't seen any magic as of yet. Just some fancy moves, some personal juggling, maybe some snappy patter. (if they're lucky) Where is their magic moment? There are a lot of theories on sustaining that "magic moment". Some people think you have to stop the action to a crawl and say something incredibly stupid like, "And I cast a Shadow over the (insert object in question here)..". Not hardly. You should give them a magic moment. Something you do, be it snapping the fingers, wiggling the fingers, moving your body in a rock like motion, or other such silly stuff. That is when the magic happens for them.

You see it's like sex, (Which some of you may not know much about or might have to pay for it which means you can do what you want. It's yer money and yer anxious. I can appreciate that. Then there are those of you who have the internet and can type with one hand a little too well... but I digress.), you like to prolong that "magic moment" as it were, (If yer any kind of romantic person anyway. If yer paying for it, just forget I said any of this.), and it's always better when you kinda don't just go wham, bam, thank yah ma'am.

So magic is just like sex.. except I do magic waaaay more. Well maybe JUST not like sex. I don't need to take a shower after I find someone's card.. they might have to but.. no no I am losing my train of thought here. Basically, don't just throw their card down on the table after putting it in the deck and going "there". Ooh thank you Mr. Excitement!! Don't put a coin in yer hand and IMMEDIATELY open yer hand to show it's gone. Do a little foreplay. A little dinner, a little dancing. In the end when the magic happens, it's more powerful and fulfilling for both parties involved.

Magic and sex... what the hell was I thinking?

Bizzaro.

I think it is time to explain myself.... first take a look at this post.

Done? Ok... I was banned from that site for my defense of deleting and editing posts on subjects that are not as sensitive as they think. Basically I was booted for talking about censorship. (Ironic doncha think?) Later I went back in under a different name, (Years later I might add), and made a post in a section about fire magic on how NOT to burn yourself silly. What did they do? They banned that new name and deleted the post. The title of their site "Magicians helping Magicians" is kinda hypocritical at this point.

I have heard many things from people who have been banned, are still on, or have worked for the site. Now despite the fact that I love the stuff this guy sez about them... I personally won't resort to calling Scott Guinn a bible humping talentless hack. That's just wrong.. even if it is true. At this point the Cafe has grown beyond the scope of what it started as and has lost it's focus. There are too many hands in the soup and no one knows what the other cook is doing. (For all we know they are whackin' off in the "secret" sauce.)

What bothers me the most is they say they are like no other magic board... which is true. No one else bans, scares off, or downright censors anyone like they do. Now some of you reading this may not agree. You might be friends with these people. Hell you might even be those people. First off, thaz not my problem. Second, all of this is my opinion. I'm entitled to it. Not because of the constitution, but because I believe in the freedom to say what I want when I want and the only way to stop me is to kill me. Thaz my freedom of speech.. you have it and I have it. Words are words and some words can be more effective than others but you must know the right time and place to use them. This is for magic, and the world. Don't let anyone tell you how to be..

be whoever you are.

Bizzaro.

Why am I not Surprised?

Just got this back from the people at the magic castle.... "Yes, we received and reviewed your CD. I'm regret to say that we are not booking any new acts of this genre at this time."

Gee what a fucking shocker. I don't shove chicks in a box, produce doves, or do card manipulation or torn and restored Newspaper. It sucks trying to be different I tells yah. For all of the ranting and raving I do about being original, sometimes it can be a double edged sword. I'm not bitter.. just annoyed.

However talking to Morgan from out in Vegas he and I both agree that doing magic for magicians suck. Remember that kids... real people are who we work for. Magicians are not your focus. You should always think like a lay person (I hate that term) AND a magician. You must be Switzerland.. you just wanna make cheese.

Oh well... keep up the good work everyone. You may all go now.. but leave your pants.

Bizzaro.

Update: The world has changed since I was 16 and doing magic in bars. It's a lot harder to get anywhere in the entertainment business. I won't say I was born in the wrong era, but I missed something. Mind you in the 70's I would have either been burned at the stake, or they would have been so drugged up that they would have loved me.

I just want to BEAT people like This. "What's a topit?" Any of you younger kids who are reading this do me a favor and do some FUCKING research!!!!! I'm sick of these people who immerse themselves into magic for a year or two, get really good at sleights, think they are the shizznit, and know nothing about certain aspects of magic. Now I am not one of those gung-ho "You must learn the history of magic dating back to the farrows (pun) and cups and balls and the history of the linking rings and blah blah blah.." kinda guys. It's good to know that stuff, but it's good to know not only how it works but why. I'm also not saying you have to directly research, just pay attention and look around. Blinders are for horses. Have an open mind, open eyes, and open ears. Listen, look, and THINK!!!! This isn't just for magic but for your whole bloody life.

Knowledge is never bad, but lack of it can be.

Bizzaro.

http://www.timothywallace.com/magic/haydn.asp

I don't agree with everything Mr. Haydn sez (Which is not a first) but he has some good points. I think it is good to learn the basics and KNOW the classics but not make them part of yer show so much. Sure anyone can learn them, buy them, perform them... but everyone does that. Everyday new people are egtting exposed to magic. They have never seen the cups n' bawls, clinking rings, or gypsy fooking thread. However before they die they will probably see it more times than they should. Sure I sound biased and whatnot... and I am. However that is my freedom to say so. Don't like it? Bite me.

Anywho, I just don't think we need clones running around enforcing magical inbreeding. Everything has it's place, I just want to see some more reinforcement that moves away from the norm. Is that too much to ask.. IS IT!!!!?

and now for yer amusement....


Bizzaro.

Wow that was a great box trick, but can he make a card stick to a ceiling?

We were watching the "Worlds Greatest Magic Show" (An only slightly over-inflated and complete lie. Three performers are good. The others are iffy. The MC is great and therefore doesn't count.) afterwards at dinner with all of them we thought, "They do good stage stuff, but can any of them do close-up that would amuse anyone?"

Let's break this down by performer shall we?

1. Jeff Hobson: Probably can do some good close-up. He knows a mercury fold and card in Mouth. That's at least one.
2. Joseph Gabriel: Probably not.
3. Nicholas Knight and Kinga: I don't think Kinga knows any magic persay. (Aside from the magic of being a Hungarian hottie.) Nicholas Knight can do at least ONE I know of cuz' he is selling it and has a demo of him doing it. So he probably knows something.
4. Sylvester The Jester: Two words - Sylvester, Pitch. Yes he can do close up. Seen it with my own eyes.
5. The Majestix: (snorts.. er. shakes Magic 8 Ball)Chances are not bloody likely.
6. Kevin James: Oh yah.. good stuff.

So what is the moral of this story? Original magicians don't limit themselves? Shitty box and dove magicians do? I don't think so... at least gads I seriously hope not.

So why get into magic and learn only one medium? I love stage. More than anything else. However I know you have to be able to do good close up too to survive. I'm not saying the aforementioned performers can't do it, I just can't SEE them doing it. If you have ever been told that you can ONLY be a card guy, coin person, stage magician, rope wrangler then you have been told wrong. You can learn it all!!

Now this does not mean go nutz and learn everything that comes out, thaz not what I am saying no. Learn enough to be educated but not hindered. Learn enough to be able to apply it to the situation as you see fit. Not everything is gold. Hell not everything is fake bling bling y0. So if you just do close-up, maybe you should think of trying for some parlour or stage branching out. It's good for your skill and art. Rarely do close-up kids go into stage. Usually it's vice versa, just remember: DON'T SUCK!!!!!

For our sakes....

Bizzaro.

Ok well I have only gotten one request thus far and to make it a real contest I need more than one you ungrateful wretches..er..I mean loyal readers. So until the void is filled on another request I might as well yap to my heart's content about something else. I think I shall make a personal attack on the little nose-miner fuck trophies over at some of the magic boards I lurk on.

Personally I blame the degradation of magic into a capitalist hellhole on the abundance of slimy amateur magicians who think shlepping lackluster products to pre-pubescent males who couldn't get laid if they had a checking account is a good business venture. Back in the olden days (Way before my time I might add) magic stores were not as prolific nor were they run by just any numbnut. They also were (but not always) somewhat discriminating as to what they would or would not sell a hobbyist.

Now it's the future. We have the inter-web. Ah yes, the internet... where porn and blackmail roam free like so many water buffalo on a wildlife preserve. Someone realized there was a giant gap in the online magic market and decided to fill it. However what they filled it with was CRAP!!!!! Now they have message boards full of kids who know only so much as they are told and don't look much beyond their own computer screen for answers. They assume that just cuz' they found a website that guarantees them power, popularity, and some really neet magical apparatus then that's all they need to know. Technology has made us all lazy and magic on the web is no different. I see so many stupid questions that could be easily answered with just a bit more of effort on their part. I tire of seeing posts like "Invisible Deck: Is it worth it?" If you have to ask this question you should be booted from a magic board and forced to take up a hobby like cross-stitch. The first time it was asked should be your answer. There is a search function for a reason you know?

As the lazy factor climbs, so does the arrogance factor. Sure you've been in magic for, wow 2 whole years? You must be good enough to have yer own TV show. < /sarcasm > Here entertain me then. Notice I did not say fool me with some really convoluted sleight of hand. Technique is not the same as performance.

Speaking of your own show, every time I see someone who knows nil about performing (and blew his birthday money on a buncha props) books a show and then asks, "What is the best way to blah blah blah. I have a show this weekend." I want to bludgeon them about the head and shoulders. NEVER do a show you have not timed, practiced, and blocked out. You make us all look bad. It's like the blonde bimbo who sets women's lib back 40 years. Quite frankly it's too late to fix anything. (Much like women's lib in some cases.) Thus those who care have to care more and those who don't care... have to be lit on fire by those who do care. It's only because we care...

Bizzaro.

(The following sure is rather bitter and jaded but it has been a frustrating week. Don't like it, too bad!!)

Ok so I am feeling a bit generous. I'm takin' it to the streets. What do you people wanna hear me rant about? Send me some subjects!! Anything magic related you want to hear my thoughts on or my twisted views let's have them. The subject I choose will get a free copy of my book "CHEAT DAMN YOU!!" so email me at smappdooda@hotmail.com and give me some ideas. It's not that I am tapped out I just feel like taking a break and using this as an opportunity for misdirection away from the lack of entries. Deal with it.

Bizzaro.
www.smappdooda.com

"Pick a black queen"
"I choose Ru Paul"
"no no no!!"

I love that. It amuses me greatly. So 2004 started off nicely. Good weather. Overcast, cool, pleasant. So tell me, what do you know about make-up. Not like drag queen stuff. I mean for stage work and even close up. Too many performers not only lack personality but also fluid motions, (You can be clumsy and still be rhythmic), and proper blocking. (Not that is not if you eat a lot of cheese. It's the way you place yourself and objects on stage and how they move around and where to etc.) If you are a serious performer, not just some "Hey look I got 20 bucks from selling the flowers I stole off a dead guys graves, I wanna buy a trick deck" kinda guy, then it is worth your time and effort to learn about your environment.. the stage.

Even close up is a stage. When you do close-up, put a thin layer of clear nail polish on your hands.. well not your hands but yer fingernails.. but you know what I meant dammit!!! It makes your hands look more manicured and professional. It seems silly but it's true. As for stage itself, stage lights will KILL your face. As in it blots it out to a mass of expressionless nothing. You want to put eyeliner around the eyes, and some perhaps in the eyebrows if you use a lot of facial expressions. Also light rouge of the cheeks and even lip liner for the lips for bigger stages. There are also ways to give the illusion of thinner cheeks, noses and other facial stuff. Look it up. I would do it for you but I am fascinated by my tear ducts right now.

So let's talk about movement a bit. Always, ALWAYS practice not only your magic moves but also the movements of your body AND the facial expressions. Body language and expressions are heavy misdirection when used properly. Let's talk about something very unknown. If you want to be perceived as a good guy type always enter from Stage Right. (if you don't know where that is you need more help than I can give.) And stage left if you want to be given off a personality of more foreboding. People read from left to right. They are more comfortable with that. Unless of course you are performing for the Chinese then it's Upstage to downstage.. they read funny.

So magic is more than just knowing the magic, it's performing it. If you are going to do this stuff, at least do it right. Quit making me look bad by sucking. If the best thing you can do for magic is get out of it.. DO SO!!!

Bizzaro.