Why am I stuck in magician Hell?

And now time for "I have nothing to say so let's talk about strippers!!!"

Ok actually I do have something to say about that actually regarding magic. A lot of people are of the opinion that strippers are worthless and sluts and whores. (Pot, kettle, something about a dark color.) Anywho, hanging out in the alternative scene you meet a great many people who are of the theory, "If they are stupid enuff to give me the money I am gonna take it." The story usually goes that they are dancing to make money for college. This is usually a half truth. It's for college and smack. (Not the Ramen) However I actually know a few who REALLY don't drink or drug it up but really do dance for skool cash.

Ok enuff of the history of exotic dancers, (What a pritty way to say "Girl who gets nekkid for cash" hunh?), because I do have a point. Lemme find it. (looks around) ah there it is... ok so yer looking for a magic assistant who will work cheap, is comfy on stage, and isn't afraid to wear the cloth equivalent of kleenix. Well you could try yer local college theater group and end up with some prima donna bitch who wants to be paid for she is a serious artiste. Yah whatever. Why not find a stripper? They have all you want and more!! (Assuming more means silicone. I recommend not using that substance in yer magic act unless it's in yer d'lites.)

So yah thaz my point. Yah need someone to do magic with you. Visit a few strip clubs, study the gals, talk to them, pay them for having to talk to you, and then see if they wanna work for yahz. Who knows in the end you might even find a life partner.

Now gimmie a lap dance... I have a pizza.

Bizzaro.