Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Why do I hate the internet and magicians who aren't on the up and up with their audience? Let me share with a conversation with a fellow who messaged me recently..

Magicdewd: I am a close-up and street magician
Magicdewd: I perform hit and run magic like David Blaine

Ok the first sentence is fine, the second makes me want to kill people. It is because of guys like Blaine, (but mostly Blaine himself), that make people think it's ok to screw with strangers on the street. You bother the wrong guy in the wrong part of town yer gonna get a non-color changing knife in the gut. Anywho..

Magicdewd: I like snowstorm in china and crushed and resurrected can

Well yah who doesn't? Wait.. Snowstorm in China is a street trick? Did I miss a memo? Isn't that called littering. In Texas we KILL people who do that. Remember that whole don't mess with TX campaign? Yah that wasn't working so now they have road side snipers set up in some places to take out people who litter. We import them from Canada because Canadians are good at two things - Hockey & sniping.

By the way when he said crushed and resurrected can he meant Anders Moden's Healed & Sealed that Blaine performed and then was ripped of numerous times by unscrupulous magicians all over the world. I corrected him on his usage of the phrasing and his response?

Magicdewd: i gave it a new name

Well thaz nice of you to do. I am sure the inventor appreciates that! So lessee what else amuses me at 7 in the AM about this. He sez he puts the can under a bench and waits for someone to sit down.

Magicdewd: I arrive dressed as a street cleaner pick up the can and pick it up saying isn't disgraceful how people litter
Magicdewd: Then i magically heal and seal it and walk away drinking it
Magicdewd: (insert annoying laughing smiley icon thing here)
Magicdewd: The look on their face

He told me he doesn't do this for money just to amuse himself basically. I can dig that.. but dressing up like a street worker? Isn't that also illegal? The thing that almost made me shake my head was this revelation that is usually spouted by people who are fux0red on drugs and booze and find jeebus in a hotel drawer. (In Las Vegas the Gideons put porn mags in our drawer... thaz Vegas for you I guess.)

Magicdewd: i was depressed, i almost committed suicide
Magicdewd: buut then i found magic

Granted it's not nice to make fun of that, but I doubt he will see this, and I did change the name so no one knows who it is. Regardless, I am sick of magic being too readily accessible to people who just wanna do it as a hobby and not treat it seriously. I have complained about this many times in these rant pages and I will continue to do so until I tire of it or I take my own life with a set of linking ropes.

Please people, it's like inbreeding.. yer not only hurting yourself but others around you.

Bizzaro.

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