Talk Hard
For anyone who has ever seen Pump up the Volume then you know what that means. If you haven't I suggest you find a copy and watch it with great intent and determination. The message is clear even if you are not.
In the flick a young Christian Slater runs a pirate radio station that leads his local skool to a bit of a revelation and revolution about themselves and their life. He was their voice when no one else thought they had their own. Today we have something similar and who do we have to thank for it? Andy? Goldstein? Swiss? Nope.. that badly dressed nazi Steve brooks over at Magic Cafe. Now mind you in his defense he just runs the site and he has little mini-nazis who run the site more than he does. He's just the furor of his own little home. (As he likes to call it.) If it wasn't for the blatant dis-regard for the respect of free will and the freedom of speech then we would not have the freedom fighter we have today as it were.
Originally a guy (Whose name I forget) started a "I hate Brooks" page and that got kinda shut down quick, but it was in the spirit of these events that I found The Magic Circle Jerk and I was inspired to start my own rant page. Not because he did it but I just had never thought of a good place to write about my venomous opinion on magic. Thus here we are.
At the end of the aforementioned flick many others found their voice and became their own pirate radio. (Yah and Rosebud was a sled screw you.) the MCJ has started a trend I rather enjoy. From Atomic Brew to the more recent The GunnSight people are slowly announcing their disdain for the state magic is in today.
Brings a tear to my brain.. really. Regardless it's good for people to see magic is not just the shiny happy facade we put on for the crowd. Magic is full of performers and man lemme tell yah.. performers are freekin' bent individuals. In some way or another we are all outcasts and if someone isn't.. then they are just a prick with few friends anyway. Regardless we're all damaged. Deal with it. So raise your voices high and if you got something to say... say it. No one is gonna stop you cuz' the FCC and clear channel can't even touch us here... yet.
Talk Hard
Bizzaro.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Ever wonder how magic guys get them good looking chicks? Simple.. they have a solid gold penis. I don't mean the solid gold like that bad dance show but like Goldmember gold. God knows it's not their looks, money, or personality.. it can't be.
Seriously folks, how many times do you hear people like David Coppertone wax poetic about how, "I was picked on in skool, no one liked me, girls wouldn't talk to me, I was shy, I had to walk home uphill both ways, our father would kill us a half hour before we had to wake up and etc etc.", and thus they turned to magic like so many smack addicts (Not the Ramen, the drug.) Thus because no one hugged them enuff and the last time they were close to a woman's genitals was when they were born, magic became their outlet to personality. This is my theory as to why so many stage magicians are dripping with (Insert vulgar term for female genitalia here) onstage while yet still having NO viable personality on stage.
At least that is what it used to be. Now it's grown from not only that to the fact that in the 80's that became the acceptable idea of what stage illusion was like. (Besides, hot chicks, loud music, leather jackets, bad hair - Who wouldn't want that?) Not only that it has also crept into female magicians acts like Melinda and Connie Boyd. Oiled up biker looking guys prancing around stage playing the part of the estranged love interest. Way to be original there gals.. really.
Hell even the magic guys who love the kok use femmes in their stage show... and why not? Sex sells. Yer target audience is male, why not exploit them like so many strippers have before? Mind you there is a dynamic that when onstage is better between a male and female. Seeing two guys onstage cuddling up close after they walk thru a giant fan might be, for some, alluring... however to the general public and most of the south, it's a bit un-nerving.
So yah... magicians keep gurls around to feel better about themselves, see naked chicks backstage, find a date, find a wife, find themselves.... whatever the reason it boils down to one thing. You still have to pay them.
Who sez it doesn't pay to be a propstitute?
Bizzaro.
(Join me next time for my rant on the "Care and feeding of your white tiger." or "How to get out of a contract by wearing meat flavored underpants.")
Seriously folks, how many times do you hear people like David Coppertone wax poetic about how, "I was picked on in skool, no one liked me, girls wouldn't talk to me, I was shy, I had to walk home uphill both ways, our father would kill us a half hour before we had to wake up and etc etc.", and thus they turned to magic like so many smack addicts (Not the Ramen, the drug.) Thus because no one hugged them enuff and the last time they were close to a woman's genitals was when they were born, magic became their outlet to personality. This is my theory as to why so many stage magicians are dripping with (Insert vulgar term for female genitalia here) onstage while yet still having NO viable personality on stage.
At least that is what it used to be. Now it's grown from not only that to the fact that in the 80's that became the acceptable idea of what stage illusion was like. (Besides, hot chicks, loud music, leather jackets, bad hair - Who wouldn't want that?) Not only that it has also crept into female magicians acts like Melinda and Connie Boyd. Oiled up biker looking guys prancing around stage playing the part of the estranged love interest. Way to be original there gals.. really.
Hell even the magic guys who love the kok use femmes in their stage show... and why not? Sex sells. Yer target audience is male, why not exploit them like so many strippers have before? Mind you there is a dynamic that when onstage is better between a male and female. Seeing two guys onstage cuddling up close after they walk thru a giant fan might be, for some, alluring... however to the general public and most of the south, it's a bit un-nerving.
So yah... magicians keep gurls around to feel better about themselves, see naked chicks backstage, find a date, find a wife, find themselves.... whatever the reason it boils down to one thing. You still have to pay them.
Who sez it doesn't pay to be a propstitute?
Bizzaro.
(Join me next time for my rant on the "Care and feeding of your white tiger." or "How to get out of a contract by wearing meat flavored underpants.")
Monday, August 23, 2004
What's in a name?
Sorry I haven't posted in a bit. Been kinda busy not paying attention to the site. (it's rough man.) Like I have said before, I dunno who reads this that often (Save for like two people who are friends. Yes I have friends. Not too many in the magic community, but still friends. I am prolly better off that way.) Regardless I don't want to just rant to rant. I want to do so when I have something to say. Preferably something new as well. I could repost about how much I think magic is a capitalist hell hole. I could yammer on and on about the lack of originality and personality in most magic acts.. but I think one post about that is good enuff... and if yer too damn lazy to find it and read it go read something that never gets stale.
Ever notice how people who call themselves exclusively a magician first and their name second or include the title magician in their name tend to be hobbyists. Usually people who are not serious enuff to live the lifestyle that comes with the ups and downs of the professional entertainment business?
Sure people like Lance Burton and Mac King call themselves magi's but you have to have a trade off. People still recognize the title magician and all that it entails. You say entertainer they think yer a stripper. You say artist they think yer broke. You say mime.. well you just get laughed at but thaz asides the point. Lance and Mac still use their real names and people recognized that because they had good enuff character or originality or charm to get past the title magician. Also publicists just put magician in the title of anyone who does magic. It sells. It's easy.
The point is many of the people who are hobbyists make that the main attraction. The magic done by a magician. Not magic done by so-and-so. It's when yer name carries more power than your occupation that you are on yer way to becoming a serious presenter of the arts in which you love.
Too many names and faces are interchangeable. Make sure that yer one that will stay in their minds... forever.
Bizzaro.
Sorry I haven't posted in a bit. Been kinda busy not paying attention to the site. (it's rough man.) Like I have said before, I dunno who reads this that often (Save for like two people who are friends. Yes I have friends. Not too many in the magic community, but still friends. I am prolly better off that way.) Regardless I don't want to just rant to rant. I want to do so when I have something to say. Preferably something new as well. I could repost about how much I think magic is a capitalist hell hole. I could yammer on and on about the lack of originality and personality in most magic acts.. but I think one post about that is good enuff... and if yer too damn lazy to find it and read it go read something that never gets stale.
Ever notice how people who call themselves exclusively a magician first and their name second or include the title magician in their name tend to be hobbyists. Usually people who are not serious enuff to live the lifestyle that comes with the ups and downs of the professional entertainment business?
Sure people like Lance Burton and Mac King call themselves magi's but you have to have a trade off. People still recognize the title magician and all that it entails. You say entertainer they think yer a stripper. You say artist they think yer broke. You say mime.. well you just get laughed at but thaz asides the point. Lance and Mac still use their real names and people recognized that because they had good enuff character or originality or charm to get past the title magician. Also publicists just put magician in the title of anyone who does magic. It sells. It's easy.
The point is many of the people who are hobbyists make that the main attraction. The magic done by a magician. Not magic done by so-and-so. It's when yer name carries more power than your occupation that you are on yer way to becoming a serious presenter of the arts in which you love.
Too many names and faces are interchangeable. Make sure that yer one that will stay in their minds... forever.
Bizzaro.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Why do I hate the internet and magicians who aren't on the up and up with their audience? Let me share with a conversation with a fellow who messaged me recently..
Magicdewd: I am a close-up and street magician
Magicdewd: I perform hit and run magic like David Blaine
Ok the first sentence is fine, the second makes me want to kill people. It is because of guys like Blaine, (but mostly Blaine himself), that make people think it's ok to screw with strangers on the street. You bother the wrong guy in the wrong part of town yer gonna get a non-color changing knife in the gut. Anywho..
Magicdewd: I like snowstorm in china and crushed and resurrected can
Well yah who doesn't? Wait.. Snowstorm in China is a street trick? Did I miss a memo? Isn't that called littering. In Texas we KILL people who do that. Remember that whole don't mess with TX campaign? Yah that wasn't working so now they have road side snipers set up in some places to take out people who litter. We import them from Canada because Canadians are good at two things - Hockey & sniping.
By the way when he said crushed and resurrected can he meant Anders Moden's Healed & Sealed that Blaine performed and then was ripped of numerous times by unscrupulous magicians all over the world. I corrected him on his usage of the phrasing and his response?
Magicdewd: i gave it a new name
Well thaz nice of you to do. I am sure the inventor appreciates that! So lessee what else amuses me at 7 in the AM about this. He sez he puts the can under a bench and waits for someone to sit down.
Magicdewd: I arrive dressed as a street cleaner pick up the can and pick it up saying isn't disgraceful how people litter
Magicdewd: Then i magically heal and seal it and walk away drinking it
Magicdewd: (insert annoying laughing smiley icon thing here)
Magicdewd: The look on their face
He told me he doesn't do this for money just to amuse himself basically. I can dig that.. but dressing up like a street worker? Isn't that also illegal? The thing that almost made me shake my head was this revelation that is usually spouted by people who are fux0red on drugs and booze and find jeebus in a hotel drawer. (In Las Vegas the Gideons put porn mags in our drawer... thaz Vegas for you I guess.)
Magicdewd: i was depressed, i almost committed suicide
Magicdewd: buut then i found magic
Granted it's not nice to make fun of that, but I doubt he will see this, and I did change the name so no one knows who it is. Regardless, I am sick of magic being too readily accessible to people who just wanna do it as a hobby and not treat it seriously. I have complained about this many times in these rant pages and I will continue to do so until I tire of it or I take my own life with a set of linking ropes.
Please people, it's like inbreeding.. yer not only hurting yourself but others around you.
Bizzaro.
Magicdewd: I am a close-up and street magician
Magicdewd: I perform hit and run magic like David Blaine
Ok the first sentence is fine, the second makes me want to kill people. It is because of guys like Blaine, (but mostly Blaine himself), that make people think it's ok to screw with strangers on the street. You bother the wrong guy in the wrong part of town yer gonna get a non-color changing knife in the gut. Anywho..
Magicdewd: I like snowstorm in china and crushed and resurrected can
Well yah who doesn't? Wait.. Snowstorm in China is a street trick? Did I miss a memo? Isn't that called littering. In Texas we KILL people who do that. Remember that whole don't mess with TX campaign? Yah that wasn't working so now they have road side snipers set up in some places to take out people who litter. We import them from Canada because Canadians are good at two things - Hockey & sniping.
By the way when he said crushed and resurrected can he meant Anders Moden's Healed & Sealed that Blaine performed and then was ripped of numerous times by unscrupulous magicians all over the world. I corrected him on his usage of the phrasing and his response?
Magicdewd: i gave it a new name
Well thaz nice of you to do. I am sure the inventor appreciates that! So lessee what else amuses me at 7 in the AM about this. He sez he puts the can under a bench and waits for someone to sit down.
Magicdewd: I arrive dressed as a street cleaner pick up the can and pick it up saying isn't disgraceful how people litter
Magicdewd: Then i magically heal and seal it and walk away drinking it
Magicdewd: (insert annoying laughing smiley icon thing here)
Magicdewd: The look on their face
He told me he doesn't do this for money just to amuse himself basically. I can dig that.. but dressing up like a street worker? Isn't that also illegal? The thing that almost made me shake my head was this revelation that is usually spouted by people who are fux0red on drugs and booze and find jeebus in a hotel drawer. (In Las Vegas the Gideons put porn mags in our drawer... thaz Vegas for you I guess.)
Magicdewd: i was depressed, i almost committed suicide
Magicdewd: buut then i found magic
Granted it's not nice to make fun of that, but I doubt he will see this, and I did change the name so no one knows who it is. Regardless, I am sick of magic being too readily accessible to people who just wanna do it as a hobby and not treat it seriously. I have complained about this many times in these rant pages and I will continue to do so until I tire of it or I take my own life with a set of linking ropes.
Please people, it's like inbreeding.. yer not only hurting yourself but others around you.
Bizzaro.
Monday, August 02, 2004
And now time for "I have nothing to say so let's talk about strippers!!!"
Ok actually I do have something to say about that actually regarding magic. A lot of people are of the opinion that strippers are worthless and sluts and whores. (Pot, kettle, something about a dark color.) Anywho, hanging out in the alternative scene you meet a great many people who are of the theory, "If they are stupid enuff to give me the money I am gonna take it." The story usually goes that they are dancing to make money for college. This is usually a half truth. It's for college and smack. (Not the Ramen) However I actually know a few who REALLY don't drink or drug it up but really do dance for skool cash.
Ok enuff of the history of exotic dancers, (What a pritty way to say "Girl who gets nekkid for cash" hunh?), because I do have a point. Lemme find it. (looks around) ah there it is... ok so yer looking for a magic assistant who will work cheap, is comfy on stage, and isn't afraid to wear the cloth equivalent of kleenix. Well you could try yer local college theater group and end up with some prima donna bitch who wants to be paid for she is a serious artiste. Yah whatever. Why not find a stripper? They have all you want and more!! (Assuming more means silicone. I recommend not using that substance in yer magic act unless it's in yer d'lites.)
So yah thaz my point. Yah need someone to do magic with you. Visit a few strip clubs, study the gals, talk to them, pay them for having to talk to you, and then see if they wanna work for yahz. Who knows in the end you might even find a life partner.
Now gimmie a lap dance... I have a pizza.
Bizzaro.
Ok actually I do have something to say about that actually regarding magic. A lot of people are of the opinion that strippers are worthless and sluts and whores. (Pot, kettle, something about a dark color.) Anywho, hanging out in the alternative scene you meet a great many people who are of the theory, "If they are stupid enuff to give me the money I am gonna take it." The story usually goes that they are dancing to make money for college. This is usually a half truth. It's for college and smack. (Not the Ramen) However I actually know a few who REALLY don't drink or drug it up but really do dance for skool cash.
Ok enuff of the history of exotic dancers, (What a pritty way to say "Girl who gets nekkid for cash" hunh?), because I do have a point. Lemme find it. (looks around) ah there it is... ok so yer looking for a magic assistant who will work cheap, is comfy on stage, and isn't afraid to wear the cloth equivalent of kleenix. Well you could try yer local college theater group and end up with some prima donna bitch who wants to be paid for she is a serious artiste. Yah whatever. Why not find a stripper? They have all you want and more!! (Assuming more means silicone. I recommend not using that substance in yer magic act unless it's in yer d'lites.)
So yah thaz my point. Yah need someone to do magic with you. Visit a few strip clubs, study the gals, talk to them, pay them for having to talk to you, and then see if they wanna work for yahz. Who knows in the end you might even find a life partner.
Now gimmie a lap dance... I have a pizza.
Bizzaro.
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Moichendising!!!
First off everyone should listen to more Billy Joel to mellow out if you are too uptight. This however has nothing to do with my post here. I am all about shlepping products that bear your moniker to promote yourself. I have been known to dabble in it from time to time myself. However, I think putting out something just because A: you know it will sell and B: it only slightly ties into your show is a bit egotistical. If it were done as a joke then that would be fine but as we all know, and I have said far too many times, magic is about capitalism more than entertainment nowadays. Again, this isn't true in everyone in magic, but there are too many cases for it that against it. (I am making NO friends in magic with this blog I just know it.)
So before you give your seal of approval to yer marketing team for cute plushy inflatable easily burnable flashy light up anythings... consider your integrity. That is.. if you haven't sold it on eBay for a can of cheeze wiz and some crackers.
Bizzaro.
First off everyone should listen to more Billy Joel to mellow out if you are too uptight. This however has nothing to do with my post here. I am all about shlepping products that bear your moniker to promote yourself. I have been known to dabble in it from time to time myself. However, I think putting out something just because A: you know it will sell and B: it only slightly ties into your show is a bit egotistical. If it were done as a joke then that would be fine but as we all know, and I have said far too many times, magic is about capitalism more than entertainment nowadays. Again, this isn't true in everyone in magic, but there are too many cases for it that against it. (I am making NO friends in magic with this blog I just know it.)
So before you give your seal of approval to yer marketing team for cute plushy inflatable easily burnable flashy light up anythings... consider your integrity. That is.. if you haven't sold it on eBay for a can of cheeze wiz and some crackers.
Bizzaro.
Friday, July 16, 2004
Every so often I like to see what is new in magic to see if someone has created something I might can use for my own nefarious little purposes. I am always amused...
(there was a buncha funny stuf f here but Blogger ate it so I am just gonna make my point without examples for now.)
I don't think this post had a point except try to remember, yer new magic product is not as kool as you think it is so don't over charge for it. Just because YOU think it's a clever name doesn't mean everyone will. Try not to dress like a fop. That has nothing to do with marketing.. just trust me on this.
Bizzaro.
(there was a buncha funny stuf f here but Blogger ate it so I am just gonna make my point without examples for now.)
I don't think this post had a point except try to remember, yer new magic product is not as kool as you think it is so don't over charge for it. Just because YOU think it's a clever name doesn't mean everyone will. Try not to dress like a fop. That has nothing to do with marketing.. just trust me on this.
Bizzaro.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
As a proponent of females in magic and not perpetrating a stereo type I am torn on performers like this. I am glad to see someone using their talents and knowledge of herpetology, but even snake handlers can't escape the humdrum use of overplayed illusions such as Origami and sawing in half.
Just because you make the box look like something else doesn't change the fact it's the same damn thing everyone else has been doing for years.. but hey it makes money. Art is never cheap... However not everything is art. I dunno what the difference between helping an image and hurting one is.. but I can sure trace a thin line around it when I see it.
Bizzaro.
Just because you make the box look like something else doesn't change the fact it's the same damn thing everyone else has been doing for years.. but hey it makes money. Art is never cheap... However not everything is art. I dunno what the difference between helping an image and hurting one is.. but I can sure trace a thin line around it when I see it.
Bizzaro.
Sunday, July 11, 2004
A few posts back I talked about a fellow magicians website and the attacks made on his video by the less than professionals in magic. So I was recently scouring the web for amusement and ended up at a few sites that needed help.
First off, if you are going to have a magic website there are a few ground rules to cover. First, try to have a theme that is solid throughout. Fonts, colors, designs, etc. Now the logos and buttons are pretty straight on thru and thru. However there are a few pages where my eyes kinda cross. (More so than usual) Second, learn the age old theory of negative/positive space. Too much white and not enuff text or photos looks.. well, bad.
Ok design crapola aside let's discuss magic content on a website. If yer gonna have photos make sure you can tell exactly what is going on and that people know which one you are. (It also helps to not have them taken with a good camera.) Also don't put photos of you with magicians no one knows. You have to have something to keep their attention and keep it fresh so they keep coming back for more. The more exposure the more it sticks in their memory.
The biggest problem I have seen on most sites is lack of content and poor layout. Also if you have too much to choose from, no one will really know WHAT you do. "Is he a birthday guy? Can he do stage shows? Is he a good close-up guy?" Sure it has all of these options so the answer is yes... but what exactly does he do? It's good to have a focus and direction. I have seen worse tho'. (Also, far too lazy to hunt down a link for an example. Bite me.)
Now to all of you, if you insist to make your own website or get it made for you, at LEAST drop some cash on someone who knows what they are doing. Of course if you think you know what yer doing, get some honest opinions. Also splurge on some good photos. Nice promos, good live shots, something.
If you want a good book check out This book and it's sequel and the website of the same name. It's good for do's and dont's of various natures.
Just trying to help.. I swear.
Bizzaro.
First off, if you are going to have a magic website there are a few ground rules to cover. First, try to have a theme that is solid throughout. Fonts, colors, designs, etc. Now the logos and buttons are pretty straight on thru and thru. However there are a few pages where my eyes kinda cross. (More so than usual) Second, learn the age old theory of negative/positive space. Too much white and not enuff text or photos looks.. well, bad.
Ok design crapola aside let's discuss magic content on a website. If yer gonna have photos make sure you can tell exactly what is going on and that people know which one you are. (It also helps to not have them taken with a good camera.) Also don't put photos of you with magicians no one knows. You have to have something to keep their attention and keep it fresh so they keep coming back for more. The more exposure the more it sticks in their memory.
The biggest problem I have seen on most sites is lack of content and poor layout. Also if you have too much to choose from, no one will really know WHAT you do. "Is he a birthday guy? Can he do stage shows? Is he a good close-up guy?" Sure it has all of these options so the answer is yes... but what exactly does he do? It's good to have a focus and direction. I have seen worse tho'. (Also, far too lazy to hunt down a link for an example. Bite me.)
Now to all of you, if you insist to make your own website or get it made for you, at LEAST drop some cash on someone who knows what they are doing. Of course if you think you know what yer doing, get some honest opinions. Also splurge on some good photos. Nice promos, good live shots, something.
If you want a good book check out This book and it's sequel and the website of the same name. It's good for do's and dont's of various natures.
Just trying to help.. I swear.
Bizzaro.
Thursday, July 08, 2004
You know, there are many things that confuse me about magic. Such as why in the world someone would want to be a complete bastard to those in their field of work. It can and will come back to bite you in the ass. I know this, I have seen it done. In a field where you have to put on a happy face and be socially acceptable to a crowd, how can you be someone who steals, bad mouths, and otherwise just isn't a nice person behind closed doors? I don't get it...
In other news: Magic inventors... stop making trick decks of cards!!! You are confusing the poor little up and coming magi's of the world. I remember the day I decided to use nothing but the invisible deck and actually learn card magic, it not only made me a better magician, but kept me out of magic shops and therefore had more money. The best two skills to learn in magic is the art of improv. Not just comedy style, but the ability to play off your environment and those around you. ALWAYS take advantage of a situation if you can. The second is related to the other: Impromptu. Being able to do magic with anything at any time. The Dan Harlan videos released some time ago are well worth the pick up for this skill.
So the moral of the story is be able to do magic at a moments notice, be entertaining and go with the flow at the drop of a hat, and don't be a prick.
It'll make all of our lives that much easier.
Bizzaro.
In other news: Magic inventors... stop making trick decks of cards!!! You are confusing the poor little up and coming magi's of the world. I remember the day I decided to use nothing but the invisible deck and actually learn card magic, it not only made me a better magician, but kept me out of magic shops and therefore had more money. The best two skills to learn in magic is the art of improv. Not just comedy style, but the ability to play off your environment and those around you. ALWAYS take advantage of a situation if you can. The second is related to the other: Impromptu. Being able to do magic with anything at any time. The Dan Harlan videos released some time ago are well worth the pick up for this skill.
So the moral of the story is be able to do magic at a moments notice, be entertaining and go with the flow at the drop of a hat, and don't be a prick.
It'll make all of our lives that much easier.
Bizzaro.
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
How can you tell a magic effect is really shitty? There are a few ways. The first, and most popular is to buy it. Ah yes, nothing beats opening a new magic toy and discovering you paid 25$ for a hole in a card box and a rubber band. Hey is my magic closet hungry? The other is a review in a magic magazine, but let's face it you are then subject to many of their own personal bias. Not a reliable way, but still is something to consider.
What about those who can't see them performed live or get their grubby little paws on them? There is the magic of the internet. (The very same magical place that leads you to flowery little fucking websites such as this. Sure it's a little bit of profanity, but if you don't like it don't read it. Welcome to the 21st century. We're a bit more ruff and tumble here. Just be glad you missed the 70's.) Now here you can see videos, photos and read golden laced descriptions of the newest effects that no podunk behind a magic counter could ever spew yer way.
Now let's say someone produces an effect that, despite the fact it makes no damn sense to put a picture frame over yer head or sell it for 100+ bucks, looks cool. "Wow I wonder how that looks in actual performance?" Well tough all you get is a crappy animated gif. It astounds me that someone who will make a high quality for a piece of chain can't toss together a mediocre video of their newest release. What does this tell me? It sez to me, "Gee this magic effect might not be that good if they can't bring themselves to actually show it in performance." What are they trying to hide?
Mind you if you are not adept enuff to realize that anyone who uses an animated gif, (Especially when you are a film student who actually owns the equipment.), and see the video and the effect STILL looks like shite might wanna pass it up y0. The biggest problem in magic today is people creating for the sake of money. The internet has made it far too easy for us to get it faster and cheaper. Sadly, that negates using a lot of yer higher brain functions. Things such as, "Do I really need this?", "Does it fit my style?", or "Why in the hell should I pay 50$ for rubber coin that I have to dust with silver powder?".
Too many questions and even more unscrupulous bastards trying to take advantage of you and yer hard earned cash. Use your brains. Don't believe the hype.
Bizzaro.
What about those who can't see them performed live or get their grubby little paws on them? There is the magic of the internet. (The very same magical place that leads you to flowery little fucking websites such as this. Sure it's a little bit of profanity, but if you don't like it don't read it. Welcome to the 21st century. We're a bit more ruff and tumble here. Just be glad you missed the 70's.) Now here you can see videos, photos and read golden laced descriptions of the newest effects that no podunk behind a magic counter could ever spew yer way.
Now let's say someone produces an effect that, despite the fact it makes no damn sense to put a picture frame over yer head or sell it for 100+ bucks, looks cool. "Wow I wonder how that looks in actual performance?" Well tough all you get is a crappy animated gif. It astounds me that someone who will make a high quality for a piece of chain can't toss together a mediocre video of their newest release. What does this tell me? It sez to me, "Gee this magic effect might not be that good if they can't bring themselves to actually show it in performance." What are they trying to hide?
Mind you if you are not adept enuff to realize that anyone who uses an animated gif, (Especially when you are a film student who actually owns the equipment.), and see the video and the effect STILL looks like shite might wanna pass it up y0. The biggest problem in magic today is people creating for the sake of money. The internet has made it far too easy for us to get it faster and cheaper. Sadly, that negates using a lot of yer higher brain functions. Things such as, "Do I really need this?", "Does it fit my style?", or "Why in the hell should I pay 50$ for rubber coin that I have to dust with silver powder?".
Too many questions and even more unscrupulous bastards trying to take advantage of you and yer hard earned cash. Use your brains. Don't believe the hype.
Bizzaro.
Friday, July 02, 2004
Idiots akimbo. Thaz all I have to say. If yer gonna be into magic A: Don't be so damn gullible. B: Do yer homework (not the skool kind. That's useless. I mean research yer craft) and 3: Don't believe everything you read, see, or hear. What am I talking about? Well thaz easy enuff. Over at The Hive of Scum and Villainy a website was posted about a mage who happened to, as a joke mind you, say he invented ambitious card. I laughed, I cried, I watched in many times more.
Many complain he is awful, dry, un-original, and the like. Good thing he is not trying to pander to amateurs in his field. If he has the money to make a good website and a professional video like that, he must be doing something right. Hey naysayers.. where is YOUR website and video?
Magicians amuse me, when they dislike something they start petty arguments and threads and lawsuits about it. They get up in arms about something they dun like and therefore draw more attention to it. Remember: No such thing as bad press? If you dun like it, don't link to it (Unless to make fun of it cuz' they deserve it *cough*MaGiCaFe*cough*), don't speak of it, don't think about it. This works in life AND magic. Don't be negative people. It only brings you and the others around you down.
Also, get a damn sense of humor.. geez. Vaudeville Aces? I like it. Yer double lift? Looks like crap.
Bizzaro.
Many complain he is awful, dry, un-original, and the like. Good thing he is not trying to pander to amateurs in his field. If he has the money to make a good website and a professional video like that, he must be doing something right. Hey naysayers.. where is YOUR website and video?
Magicians amuse me, when they dislike something they start petty arguments and threads and lawsuits about it. They get up in arms about something they dun like and therefore draw more attention to it. Remember: No such thing as bad press? If you dun like it, don't link to it (Unless to make fun of it cuz' they deserve it *cough*MaGiCaFe*cough*), don't speak of it, don't think about it. This works in life AND magic. Don't be negative people. It only brings you and the others around you down.
Also, get a damn sense of humor.. geez. Vaudeville Aces? I like it. Yer double lift? Looks like crap.
Bizzaro.
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Ever seen a root beer float?
With today's magic products you can. I remember the first time I saw a dollar bil float in front of me. I wigged the fuk out. I seriously had no idea. I bought the trick and learned of invisible thread. Totally new to me. (This is when the Sorcery Shoppe had released the ITR's that were about 6-8 inches long and had a strong resemblance to a crack pipe. That's where the real magic comes from kids.)
Before that we had thumbtips with suction cups on them. (Universal floating gimmick my ass) The only thing that is worth is showing it as a comedy bit. The idea is a good one tho'. So thus we have progressed from suction tips to ITR's to Thread Bosses to.. well add infinitum. Pocket Levitator (Sounds like a vibrator to me), Wild levitation, Zero Gravity, King Rising, Fearson's Floating, The Elevator, and the most recent I have seen: On Thin Air. (Which is thus far my fave personal levitation.)
When Peter Loughran came out with the Elevator to battle the over exposure of the Balducci that Blaine made oh so trendy, many people were split on the Elevator Gimmick. Some liked it, some hated it. For a price tag of 100$ it was a bit much for what you got. Some of them sold on Ebay, some became closet fodder. The idea had a few flaws in presentation, but even the flaws surpassed the flaws of others. Almost angle proof, height controllable more or less, and no weight limit. (Mind you none of them have ever had that but..) However the issue of clumsy people with no balance came to light as did the fact you were "kind of" restrained by wardrobe.
So as always evolution and necessity nursing invention, someone has taken this idea step further by eliminating many of the flaws the Elevator had. No more bending down to "Stretch", you can immediately turn around, and not be wearing a jacket or coat. I hear Loughran is working on an add on to the original Elevator to make it better. Sometimes inventors don't spend enuff flight time with their products to improve them before release. It's like a service pack for Windows. Shouldn't you have caught this ahead of time?
Maybe less drive for money and more drive for quality is needed aye?
Kinda an update: If you wanna see not only the amusement factor of how hobbyists and semi-pros get into it go over to the Den of Silly People to see info about some current levitations.
With today's magic products you can. I remember the first time I saw a dollar bil float in front of me. I wigged the fuk out. I seriously had no idea. I bought the trick and learned of invisible thread. Totally new to me. (This is when the Sorcery Shoppe had released the ITR's that were about 6-8 inches long and had a strong resemblance to a crack pipe. That's where the real magic comes from kids.)
Before that we had thumbtips with suction cups on them. (Universal floating gimmick my ass) The only thing that is worth is showing it as a comedy bit. The idea is a good one tho'. So thus we have progressed from suction tips to ITR's to Thread Bosses to.. well add infinitum. Pocket Levitator (Sounds like a vibrator to me), Wild levitation, Zero Gravity, King Rising, Fearson's Floating, The Elevator, and the most recent I have seen: On Thin Air. (Which is thus far my fave personal levitation.)
When Peter Loughran came out with the Elevator to battle the over exposure of the Balducci that Blaine made oh so trendy, many people were split on the Elevator Gimmick. Some liked it, some hated it. For a price tag of 100$ it was a bit much for what you got. Some of them sold on Ebay, some became closet fodder. The idea had a few flaws in presentation, but even the flaws surpassed the flaws of others. Almost angle proof, height controllable more or less, and no weight limit. (Mind you none of them have ever had that but..) However the issue of clumsy people with no balance came to light as did the fact you were "kind of" restrained by wardrobe.
So as always evolution and necessity nursing invention, someone has taken this idea step further by eliminating many of the flaws the Elevator had. No more bending down to "Stretch", you can immediately turn around, and not be wearing a jacket or coat. I hear Loughran is working on an add on to the original Elevator to make it better. Sometimes inventors don't spend enuff flight time with their products to improve them before release. It's like a service pack for Windows. Shouldn't you have caught this ahead of time?
Maybe less drive for money and more drive for quality is needed aye?
Kinda an update: If you wanna see not only the amusement factor of how hobbyists and semi-pros get into it go over to the Den of Silly People to see info about some current levitations.
Monday, June 21, 2004
"I saw the sign and it opened up mah mind" - Ace of Base
Ok sorry couldna help it. I lost my electronic rating pen to that song. No that is not some weird metaphor for my virginity, I really left it in a car when that song came out. Besides I have way better metaphors for losing one's virginity... but this isn't sex talk with Bizzaro, it's magic rants. So let's rant about magic shall we?
When you perform, do you have your name visible anywhere? I don't mean so much for walk around, but for stage work. If you want to be remembered you first have to let them know who you are. Just telling them don't work. People today have the attention span of a horny hummingbird. Especially with the increased use of liquor and recreational drugs, people have a memory so full of holes you can drive PT Cruisers thru them. So you have to make sure some part of you stick with them for at LEAST 24 hours so it goes to long term memory.
To be remembered you have to be memorable. You have to do at least ONE thing that will blow them away in some way. Whether it is over the top, magical as hell, or scares them where they sit. You MUST make an impact. Find that one impact, and you will have them. A friend of ours was tired of the audience leaving saying, "That was so nice and great. Thank you". They are more looking for "That was bloody AWESOME!!". The only way to achieve that is to be bad ass. It's a cut throat world in magic. There is no need to stab people in the back or steal if you are good enuff to stand out from the rest of the magical world.
Remember.. BE the ball...
Bizzaro.
Ok sorry couldna help it. I lost my electronic rating pen to that song. No that is not some weird metaphor for my virginity, I really left it in a car when that song came out. Besides I have way better metaphors for losing one's virginity... but this isn't sex talk with Bizzaro, it's magic rants. So let's rant about magic shall we?
When you perform, do you have your name visible anywhere? I don't mean so much for walk around, but for stage work. If you want to be remembered you first have to let them know who you are. Just telling them don't work. People today have the attention span of a horny hummingbird. Especially with the increased use of liquor and recreational drugs, people have a memory so full of holes you can drive PT Cruisers thru them. So you have to make sure some part of you stick with them for at LEAST 24 hours so it goes to long term memory.
To be remembered you have to be memorable. You have to do at least ONE thing that will blow them away in some way. Whether it is over the top, magical as hell, or scares them where they sit. You MUST make an impact. Find that one impact, and you will have them. A friend of ours was tired of the audience leaving saying, "That was so nice and great. Thank you". They are more looking for "That was bloody AWESOME!!". The only way to achieve that is to be bad ass. It's a cut throat world in magic. There is no need to stab people in the back or steal if you are good enuff to stand out from the rest of the magical world.
Remember.. BE the ball...
Bizzaro.
Saturday, June 19, 2004
"She seems to have an invisible touch" - Phil Collins
I am sure I have remarked about this before, but I am too lazy to go back and look. It amuses me that we spend so much time practicing moves that are meant to be totally invisible to the human eye. Mind you they are not invisible, just go under a persons radar cuz' shuffling is such a secondary action to most people. Hell some are even 4th and 5th actions. No one cares...
Hey that's good tho'. Mind you it's when you get flashy with it like a sybil cut that it starts to look odd, but that is a bit of an extreme example. Take for instance the Heinstein Shuffle. A great move recently released into the wild. (I say recently as in the last 10 years mind you.) It's a false shuffle in the air. Complete with a bridge and everything. (The move not an actual structure.) It is a great piece as it is an auditory illusion as much as it is visual. You hear those cards make the noise they should make when they are bridged. Even when done poorly, it fools people. It's called conditioning.
People don't question what they expect or are familiar with. This is why false shuffle, cuts, and controls go undetected usually. People expect to see cards shuffled and they have NO clue the intricacies that we go thru to hide the fact we are making cards move around that deck. Passes, cards steals, all of it. Invisible if done right or misdirected properly.
The worst part is, we work our butts off to perfect something that we feel so damn proud about getting down because it is so damn clever, and we can't show anyone but other magicians. I would love to tell people, "This is so cool!! Look I can pretend to shuffle a deck but not really like this!" and their response will be something like, "Thaz nice". Only we care and in some cases.. We don't. We're so proud of ourselves when we pull these moves off and get them right past someone else. Sounds like magical masturbation to me....
If it feels good, do it.
Bizzaro.
I am sure I have remarked about this before, but I am too lazy to go back and look. It amuses me that we spend so much time practicing moves that are meant to be totally invisible to the human eye. Mind you they are not invisible, just go under a persons radar cuz' shuffling is such a secondary action to most people. Hell some are even 4th and 5th actions. No one cares...
Hey that's good tho'. Mind you it's when you get flashy with it like a sybil cut that it starts to look odd, but that is a bit of an extreme example. Take for instance the Heinstein Shuffle. A great move recently released into the wild. (I say recently as in the last 10 years mind you.) It's a false shuffle in the air. Complete with a bridge and everything. (The move not an actual structure.) It is a great piece as it is an auditory illusion as much as it is visual. You hear those cards make the noise they should make when they are bridged. Even when done poorly, it fools people. It's called conditioning.
People don't question what they expect or are familiar with. This is why false shuffle, cuts, and controls go undetected usually. People expect to see cards shuffled and they have NO clue the intricacies that we go thru to hide the fact we are making cards move around that deck. Passes, cards steals, all of it. Invisible if done right or misdirected properly.
The worst part is, we work our butts off to perfect something that we feel so damn proud about getting down because it is so damn clever, and we can't show anyone but other magicians. I would love to tell people, "This is so cool!! Look I can pretend to shuffle a deck but not really like this!" and their response will be something like, "Thaz nice". Only we care and in some cases.. We don't. We're so proud of ourselves when we pull these moves off and get them right past someone else. Sounds like magical masturbation to me....
If it feels good, do it.
Bizzaro.
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Flourisher vs. Magicians.. who will win?
Well it's not really even a contest. It's like comparing competitive cup stackers to dice stackers. Similar but totally different. Flourishes are showings of obvious skill and practice. Magicians practice m oves that are meant to be undetectable. (No matter how cool they are and how much we wanna show people.) Where is the proper place to use them?
Well if yer the Buck Twins, you will just do pretty much everything as a flourish even yer magic stuff. Same for most of the wanks on other websites that shall remain nameless. Not to say this is a bad thing, but after a while it just gets dull and distracts from proper performing protocol. Now when you are a good sleight of hand guy and a good flourisher should you combine the two? Well that depends...
If you were a whiny little twerp who wasn't hugged a lot you are prolly doing magic for the attention and prolly love the flourishy stuff cuz' someone will FINALLY pay some bloody attention to you. However, what if yer magic is not that good, but your flourishes are good. You are hurting yourself and magic, because people do not separate the two. Good with cards, bad with magic. Eh, cards = magic. So unless you don't suck don't do both. Also, if you show too much proclivity with a deck of cards they will obviously think you are just a really good sleight meister and while this is cool to you, it gives them an easy out for which to explain away the magic of what they have just experience.
If you are a bit more natural with the cards, it will come off as a more everyday thing that even they could do. Now I am not saying don't do ANY flourishy stuff, but try not to get CRAZY with it ok? I do one or two fancy shuffles but they take about 2 seconds. everytime I see a cut sequence that takes up 5+ seconds of my life I am already un-interested, but thaz just me. I know from experience many will just feel yer showing off, especially if you suck at the magic tricks or are a dull performer. Practice good performance technique before you send hours sitting alone in yer room playing with yerself.. and a deck of cards.
and watch out for them nasty paper cuts.. ouch!!
Well it's not really even a contest. It's like comparing competitive cup stackers to dice stackers. Similar but totally different. Flourishes are showings of obvious skill and practice. Magicians practice m oves that are meant to be undetectable. (No matter how cool they are and how much we wanna show people.) Where is the proper place to use them?
Well if yer the Buck Twins, you will just do pretty much everything as a flourish even yer magic stuff. Same for most of the wanks on other websites that shall remain nameless. Not to say this is a bad thing, but after a while it just gets dull and distracts from proper performing protocol. Now when you are a good sleight of hand guy and a good flourisher should you combine the two? Well that depends...
If you were a whiny little twerp who wasn't hugged a lot you are prolly doing magic for the attention and prolly love the flourishy stuff cuz' someone will FINALLY pay some bloody attention to you. However, what if yer magic is not that good, but your flourishes are good. You are hurting yourself and magic, because people do not separate the two. Good with cards, bad with magic. Eh, cards = magic. So unless you don't suck don't do both. Also, if you show too much proclivity with a deck of cards they will obviously think you are just a really good sleight meister and while this is cool to you, it gives them an easy out for which to explain away the magic of what they have just experience.
If you are a bit more natural with the cards, it will come off as a more everyday thing that even they could do. Now I am not saying don't do ANY flourishy stuff, but try not to get CRAZY with it ok? I do one or two fancy shuffles but they take about 2 seconds. everytime I see a cut sequence that takes up 5+ seconds of my life I am already un-interested, but thaz just me. I know from experience many will just feel yer showing off, especially if you suck at the magic tricks or are a dull performer. Practice good performance technique before you send hours sitting alone in yer room playing with yerself.. and a deck of cards.
and watch out for them nasty paper cuts.. ouch!!
Monday, May 31, 2004
What do you call a guy with no arms, and no legs hanging on a wall?
MAT!!
Get it? Mat.. it's a .. it's a joke. Please put down the weapons. Ok so recently on a magic board I slip in and out of, I saw a talk about a certain type of Close-up Pad. Now I always thought that walking up to a table in a restaurant, whip out a rubber foam mat thing and then perform card and coin magic.
Now to us (magicians) this is a common and natural thing. Mind you to us natural is relative. I personally will learn something that can be done in the air first, then modify it for table use if need be. I never expect to have a nice foamy soft clothlike surface to perform on... and neither should you. All of these great sleights you can do, but only on a close-up pad. Thaz a damn shame that you don't have yer little mat here now and all is this glass table. Amaze me now monkey boy!!
Now the good people can do it anywhere and anyway they want. (like porn stars) However, relying on a rolled up colored little stage seems a bit silly to me. Of course carrying it with you in yer back pocket just screams GEEK to me but then again.. so do most card tricks.
I won't even go into the guys you see at magic conventions on the floor doing shadow coins or any of their many variations. They look great sure, but being on yer knees at perfect fellatio height does NOT make me think professional. I don't care how good you are... learn it on a hard wood table and I will be impressed.
Bizzaro.
MAT!!
Get it? Mat.. it's a .. it's a joke. Please put down the weapons. Ok so recently on a magic board I slip in and out of, I saw a talk about a certain type of Close-up Pad. Now I always thought that walking up to a table in a restaurant, whip out a rubber foam mat thing and then perform card and coin magic.
Now to us (magicians) this is a common and natural thing. Mind you to us natural is relative. I personally will learn something that can be done in the air first, then modify it for table use if need be. I never expect to have a nice foamy soft clothlike surface to perform on... and neither should you. All of these great sleights you can do, but only on a close-up pad. Thaz a damn shame that you don't have yer little mat here now and all is this glass table. Amaze me now monkey boy!!
Now the good people can do it anywhere and anyway they want. (like porn stars) However, relying on a rolled up colored little stage seems a bit silly to me. Of course carrying it with you in yer back pocket just screams GEEK to me but then again.. so do most card tricks.
I won't even go into the guys you see at magic conventions on the floor doing shadow coins or any of their many variations. They look great sure, but being on yer knees at perfect fellatio height does NOT make me think professional. I don't care how good you are... learn it on a hard wood table and I will be impressed.
Bizzaro.
Monday, May 24, 2004
Is magic real?
I have been asked this a few times in my life. There is the urge to say, "Yes it is and I am an all powerful wizard. Ignore that man behind the curtain!!" but I can never bring myself to say that. It's unfair to people for us to try and REALLY purvey ourselves as masters of the unknown when people ask. If they assume that's ok. It's like the gutter of a comic book. They fill in the blanks like a fucked up Mad Libs game.
However when the jig is up andthey are asking you that fateful query, "Is magic real" to set their little confused minds at ease what do you say? I mean really. If you say yes then yer an asshole. I know it's our job to fool people and entertain them, but when they wanna be less freaked out and make sure all is right with the world there is no need to OUTRIGHT lie to them. What we do is real in a sense but not in the way people think.
I never have had a GREAT answer to this until now. I don't want something that sounds like a cop out and I sure don't wanna lie to someone about something so out there. How do we get around this you ask? By putting the decision right squarely on them. When they ask that question, answer them as honestly as you can....
It's as real as you want it to be.
Bizzaro.
(Of course if they still ask, "No really is it?" then just tell them yes because they deserve that for pestering you. hee hee)
I have been asked this a few times in my life. There is the urge to say, "Yes it is and I am an all powerful wizard. Ignore that man behind the curtain!!" but I can never bring myself to say that. It's unfair to people for us to try and REALLY purvey ourselves as masters of the unknown when people ask. If they assume that's ok. It's like the gutter of a comic book. They fill in the blanks like a fucked up Mad Libs game.
However when the jig is up andthey are asking you that fateful query, "Is magic real" to set their little confused minds at ease what do you say? I mean really. If you say yes then yer an asshole. I know it's our job to fool people and entertain them, but when they wanna be less freaked out and make sure all is right with the world there is no need to OUTRIGHT lie to them. What we do is real in a sense but not in the way people think.
I never have had a GREAT answer to this until now. I don't want something that sounds like a cop out and I sure don't wanna lie to someone about something so out there. How do we get around this you ask? By putting the decision right squarely on them. When they ask that question, answer them as honestly as you can....
It's as real as you want it to be.
Bizzaro.
(Of course if they still ask, "No really is it?" then just tell them yes because they deserve that for pestering you. hee hee)
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Are you trying to control me?
A lot of younger magician types are always asking about the best card controls, passes, and the like. Now stay with me on this, but what if there was no passes or double undercuts? How would you control a card? Why does it even mater that much?
We forget that we don't have to be as sneaky as we think we are. Sure you put that card in there. But then you cut the deck all funky. I know he knows where that card is. Now what if you slid that card right in the middle of the deck, no cutting or anything. Now you have something interesting... but only a bit. You see when we force card tricks upon people they know we are gonna, more than likely, find their chosen card. It's not how well we do it, but how we do it. Hunh? Lemme explain.
Card selected, lost in deck, cards thumped, card on top. Mildly amazing, zero entertainment. Now try the same start, but find that card in your zipper. Pretty amazing, funny as hell and unexpected!! Magic is about entertainment, not moves. Sure the pass is effective.. when it's called for. Double undercuts look retarded. Use a top change or slip force as a card control. Who's gonna know? Start thinking like a mundane. Pretend you don't know the world elmsley count, injog, or even shitzu. Why kill yourself working on an invisible move no one is ever gonna see anyway? I think you SHOULD learn the moves, but not rely on them. Open your mind up to new ideas. People don't know what we're doing or even pay attention. It's that last bit you need to work on. I don't care if yer LePaul pass is the best around, if I am not smiling at the end I'm lighting you on fire.
Bizzaro.
A lot of younger magician types are always asking about the best card controls, passes, and the like. Now stay with me on this, but what if there was no passes or double undercuts? How would you control a card? Why does it even mater that much?
We forget that we don't have to be as sneaky as we think we are. Sure you put that card in there. But then you cut the deck all funky. I know he knows where that card is. Now what if you slid that card right in the middle of the deck, no cutting or anything. Now you have something interesting... but only a bit. You see when we force card tricks upon people they know we are gonna, more than likely, find their chosen card. It's not how well we do it, but how we do it. Hunh? Lemme explain.
Card selected, lost in deck, cards thumped, card on top. Mildly amazing, zero entertainment. Now try the same start, but find that card in your zipper. Pretty amazing, funny as hell and unexpected!! Magic is about entertainment, not moves. Sure the pass is effective.. when it's called for. Double undercuts look retarded. Use a top change or slip force as a card control. Who's gonna know? Start thinking like a mundane. Pretend you don't know the world elmsley count, injog, or even shitzu. Why kill yourself working on an invisible move no one is ever gonna see anyway? I think you SHOULD learn the moves, but not rely on them. Open your mind up to new ideas. People don't know what we're doing or even pay attention. It's that last bit you need to work on. I don't care if yer LePaul pass is the best around, if I am not smiling at the end I'm lighting you on fire.
Bizzaro.
Thursday, May 06, 2004
David Blaine is an Asshat
You know it's funny. I started this Blog as an idea I gleaned from another mage type guy... ish. (Whose link can be seen on the right. I'm too tired to html it in right now. Bite me.) I have NO clue how many read this. It could be ONE guy it could be 25.. it could be any number of people. I don't advertise it very much because my opinions are very brash and all of my own thinking. (Free thinking is frowned upon in some magic circles.) So that means I have been writing in this thing for almost half a year. (I'm not there yet but I am close.. hmm that sounded dirty.) I don't know if anyone cares what I write, values my opinion, or takes it to heart.. and you know what? I don't really care. This is for me to get these thoughts out of my head and maybe, just maybe, educate someone.. thru the charming power of hate.
So that brings me to tonight's little rant and rave. David Blaine is an Asshat. Yes that's right. The mulatto looking, down syndrome talking, video editing mofo that he is has given certain types of magic a bad name... but only to us. That's right, only the magicians give two tugs of a dead dog's kok about David Blaine or what he does on TV. Sure sleeping in a clear death trap was frowned upon by mage and layperson alike, (There has to be a better word than layperson... I personally always liked "Mundanes"), but his TV shows, books, and god help us if he ever puts out his own salad dressing, sells. Why is this? Is it the fact that he is far more attractive than anyone else. ("Not good looking for the world, but good looking for a magician" - Penn Jillette) Could it be the fact he did something groundbreaking? Could it possibly he has the slimiest pack of production crew I have seen in some time... ummmmmmmmm could be.
I have no problem with this wanker. Never met him. He might be a nice guy. I'll never know. (I am sure the girls that he and Leo double team think he's very nice.) However I think his ideals are misplaced. He uses video editing to omit important parts of a routine. Ok so thaz fine, but don't have someone say, "This is EXACTLY what you would see if you were here right now". It comes off a bit hypocritical. Also the lousy flotation editing... that chapped my ass worse than anal sex. (Mind you I have nothing to compare that to. I am just assuming.) I don't wanna hear from ANYBODY, "Well they were just representing what it looks like to people in their minds". My ass. It's TV. Don't exploit people for your ratings and good name. I know it's our job to lie to people but damn. Have you no morals... or did someone buy them from you for a pretty penny?
Then there is his Hay-'suess complex. Raising the dead, feeding the hungry and poor.. what's next fishes and loaves? There is something evil behind his eyes and you can spot it. In his first special when he is walking towards a child in the distance. Lighthearted Magician.. or child molesting kidnapper? You be the judge. I think the biggest problem I have is that he glorified street magic as a person to person performance and while you can make money that way, a real street performer either robs you blind with three card monte or gathers a large crowd via a small stage show. Ok so why is this bad you ask? The kids these days. They believe what they are told more now than ever. TV, internet, and print has more hold on their reality than ever it did. They think this is the way to perform street magic. There was once a time when this was no big deal. Kids doing shabby magic for a birthday party or skool show. Not a lot of harm done that wasn't already there. Now it's gone to the streets. Out in public places, approaching people dressed like a street bum trying to freek them out. David Blaine gets away with it cuz' HE has a video camera and production crew. You are emulating that which you do not have and also what you do not know. It takes YEARS of practice to perform a trick for someone, and only a few seconds to ruin it for all the rest of us. Please stop sucking in public. Take it indoors away from everyone else. Stop believing everything you see on TV and the net. Research things, educate yourself, and PAY THE HELL ATTENTION TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU!!!
You're not David Blaine which means yer not an Asshat. You don't wanna be an Asshat do you? I didn't think so...
Bizzaro.
You know it's funny. I started this Blog as an idea I gleaned from another mage type guy... ish. (Whose link can be seen on the right. I'm too tired to html it in right now. Bite me.) I have NO clue how many read this. It could be ONE guy it could be 25.. it could be any number of people. I don't advertise it very much because my opinions are very brash and all of my own thinking. (Free thinking is frowned upon in some magic circles.) So that means I have been writing in this thing for almost half a year. (I'm not there yet but I am close.. hmm that sounded dirty.) I don't know if anyone cares what I write, values my opinion, or takes it to heart.. and you know what? I don't really care. This is for me to get these thoughts out of my head and maybe, just maybe, educate someone.. thru the charming power of hate.
So that brings me to tonight's little rant and rave. David Blaine is an Asshat. Yes that's right. The mulatto looking, down syndrome talking, video editing mofo that he is has given certain types of magic a bad name... but only to us. That's right, only the magicians give two tugs of a dead dog's kok about David Blaine or what he does on TV. Sure sleeping in a clear death trap was frowned upon by mage and layperson alike, (There has to be a better word than layperson... I personally always liked "Mundanes"), but his TV shows, books, and god help us if he ever puts out his own salad dressing, sells. Why is this? Is it the fact that he is far more attractive than anyone else. ("Not good looking for the world, but good looking for a magician" - Penn Jillette) Could it be the fact he did something groundbreaking? Could it possibly he has the slimiest pack of production crew I have seen in some time... ummmmmmmmm could be.
I have no problem with this wanker. Never met him. He might be a nice guy. I'll never know. (I am sure the girls that he and Leo double team think he's very nice.) However I think his ideals are misplaced. He uses video editing to omit important parts of a routine. Ok so thaz fine, but don't have someone say, "This is EXACTLY what you would see if you were here right now". It comes off a bit hypocritical. Also the lousy flotation editing... that chapped my ass worse than anal sex. (Mind you I have nothing to compare that to. I am just assuming.) I don't wanna hear from ANYBODY, "Well they were just representing what it looks like to people in their minds". My ass. It's TV. Don't exploit people for your ratings and good name. I know it's our job to lie to people but damn. Have you no morals... or did someone buy them from you for a pretty penny?
Then there is his Hay-'suess complex. Raising the dead, feeding the hungry and poor.. what's next fishes and loaves? There is something evil behind his eyes and you can spot it. In his first special when he is walking towards a child in the distance. Lighthearted Magician.. or child molesting kidnapper? You be the judge. I think the biggest problem I have is that he glorified street magic as a person to person performance and while you can make money that way, a real street performer either robs you blind with three card monte or gathers a large crowd via a small stage show. Ok so why is this bad you ask? The kids these days. They believe what they are told more now than ever. TV, internet, and print has more hold on their reality than ever it did. They think this is the way to perform street magic. There was once a time when this was no big deal. Kids doing shabby magic for a birthday party or skool show. Not a lot of harm done that wasn't already there. Now it's gone to the streets. Out in public places, approaching people dressed like a street bum trying to freek them out. David Blaine gets away with it cuz' HE has a video camera and production crew. You are emulating that which you do not have and also what you do not know. It takes YEARS of practice to perform a trick for someone, and only a few seconds to ruin it for all the rest of us. Please stop sucking in public. Take it indoors away from everyone else. Stop believing everything you see on TV and the net. Research things, educate yourself, and PAY THE HELL ATTENTION TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU!!!
You're not David Blaine which means yer not an Asshat. You don't wanna be an Asshat do you? I didn't think so...
Bizzaro.
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