Monday, July 24, 2017

If you won't listen to me...

At least listen to Alice Cooper.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Repeat after me...

Hey magicians, please stop using the phrase, "Just keep repeating over and over in your head (insert card or whatever here)" It's a shitty and lazy way to reveal something, it has no magic moment, no panache, and I have seen it have less impact than an entire season of Criss Angel specials.

I don't know who started this idea, but it needs to STOP! I have seen spectators just stare blankly at a magician who revealed a card this way.

"I'm sorry did you say something? I stopped paying attention 10 minutes ago."

The worst part is, it shows a lack of creativity or originality on your part. If you think it's cute or magical you are wrong. I have seen far too many shitty performers use this as their quick go-to thing. I have never seen ANYONE freak out about it. They usually just sit there confused as if nothing happened. (I am sure someone out there has a story about someone losing their shit and running into traffic over it but I bet you those are some rare ol' times)

So if you engage in this kind of fuckery, stop it and flex your brain a bit to try something else.

Something like This perhaps?

Friday, April 07, 2017

Sincerely yours...

Dear magicians,

Stop making up stories about your relatives that aren't true. Unless they actually happened, it's an insincere lie you are telling your audience and you REEK of it. It's also hacky as shit. It's like saying you are going to beat Houdini's "record" for escaping a strait jacket. You're better than that and if you're not... just stop.

The Mngmnt

Tuesday, April 04, 2017

Bridge and tunnel magicians...

"The creation of content is not a hobby. It is a profession." - Jean-Claude Junker

I found this quote while reading an article about the creators of Spinal Tap seeking remuneration for their work in the extremely shady industry of film and music.

For those of us who take it very seriously, creating magic is indeed a profession that borders on the obsessive. There are a number of things that take away what some of us spend a lot of time on.

  • FAKE! - A lot of the younger and unlearned magi apparently just assume something is camera edits when it's "too good" and they can't figure it out. When you do this you belittle the hard work many of us do to make it look that good. 
  • Actual Fakes - They have good reason to yell fake tho'. There are people like Zack King who (obviously) use video editing tricks to make magical things happen. However there are also people who more subtly use After Effects to create seemingly impossible tricks and don't own up to it. Those people are jag offs who will never escape their instagram account.
  • Weekend Warriors - Then there's THESE assholes. People who create magic for the sake of magic... and a paycheck. They are not making magic for the art. Oh I am sure they THINK they are but what they really are doing is looking for a way to get paid because A: they are terrible with money and 2: don't actually perform for real people and couldn't entertain a thought let alone a group of people.
It's these last ones that make me the most mad. They want money and notoriety and think releasing magic tricks will accomplish that because a few other slugs managed to do it. Every time they put out some piece of  lackluster crap tied together with elastic and magnets, they cover up the good stuff other real creators and performers have released.

Obviously the ones who dig through the mire to find the gold are the ones who will likely triumph but it's getting harder and harder every day because of these "creators" foisting their hobbies on the actual professionals. It also discourages better stuff from being produced as it's not monetarily worth the effort because a gem will soon be obscured by shit.

Fuckin' tourists...

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Watch your head...

But first, watch this video.

Consider every live action mixed with animation movie you have seen in the last 20 or so years. Roger Rabbit is hands down the best. No argument. To be fair, I can forgive Cool World because it was quirky from the get go.

This video makes a valid point and it's something I have been talking about for years. When you do something for the love of the craft and because you care enough to make something great, it shows. Giving a damn is the biggest secret to creating amazing art. It's the truly obsessed with the focus to detail that make things that stand out above the rest. (Tempered with other knowledge of course. Being brain damaged about certain subjects doth not guarantee success.)

So go ahead. Bump the lamp. Don't you want to be remembered for generations like Roger Rabbit?

Or would you rather be... Space Jam?

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Sound Philes

Riding on the coat tails of yesterday's post about grumpy know-it-alls, let's talk about people who think there is only one path and that will be good enough to get them through life FOREVER.

I got into a... let's call it a discussion... on one of the FB magic groups about what's best to run your sound with and how. Some of you might recall my guide on running your own music for your shows. Well it seems some people would rather not have music at all if they don't have a sound man. This baffled me and I had to jump into the fray to understand where they were coming from.

There is a camp of people who (claim) to always work with a soundman and will pay for them to travel with them and run their music and say that is the ONLY way to go. These people have clearly not tried to make a living in the last decade or so as that is not always an option. What you pay out for a sound person could be almost the entire fee for a gig in some circumstances.

Obviously it's great if you work a venue that has someone else run your music for you. (Someone who is competent that is. You'd be surprised how many people don't understand the concept of "play" and "pause".) Sometimes it's just not feasible to have someone travel with you be it for lack of space or money.

What I told these "experts", who turned their nose up at the mere thought of running their own music from their pocket, was that they should learn to do it BOTH ways. If your sound guy/girl dies, gets sick, or just gets tired of your bullshit and quits, you are then left high and dry. If you have a solo system you have learned as a back-up you will never be in that position. It's similar to those who prefer to work only with a headset mic and get lost when forced to use a hand held. When you don't learn at least a little bit about the options you have to help run a smooth show, you will suffer and so will your audience.

So heed my advice people! Learn to run your own music but have a cue sheet in your bags for that lovely rare time you can bring along a sound person or the venue happens to have one that doesn't seem like they are from a work release mental patient program.

Like Scar said, "Be prepared!"

Friday, February 17, 2017

And we wonder why...

Why is it kids don't go to magic meetings or conventions as much as they used to? It's a mix of things. One of those reasons is they don't need those meet-ups to have meet-ups. With skype and facetime and other video medium they can share their creations immediately with each other. They don't have to wait a whole year to see and share what they have been working on. (Whether that's for the better or worse is a whole other post)

The other reason kids avoid these places are the grumpy old fucks who just want to dole out "advice" in the form of close minded rhetoric. Advice when delivered objectively is great. When it's delivered as law and nothing but this or that is right and you are wrong is not advice.

"Well how do they know that's gonna happen at a magic convention or meeting?", you ask? Simple. It's because they get this treatment online in the magic groups and forums. It happened to me. It happens to others.

A younger magician put out a utility device recently. It's not a bad piece of kit. Yes it bears some resemblance to some other gimmicks on the market but his is indeed different enough to justify it's existence. The problem comes in when the "experts" think something is similar to something else (even when it's not) and start saying shit like this:

"Be careful with that 100% claim.....any slight similarity puts it down to at least 90%."

"Has anybody NOT figured this out immediately?"

At this point they are just poking at the kid with sticks for no reason.

"But the lay people will want to examine the cards!" (Ah the mating call of the common amateur in the magic market place. The creator then explained he goes over how to have the cards handed out and examined and then got the following response...)

"Just because they don't ask doesn't mean anything other than you are too detached. You are cheating them out of a magical moment by leaving them with an unsolved puzzle. No more free lessons from me...get out your checkbook." 

Another "expert" decided to chime in with this:

"It is the magician that gets the (stronger) reaction, not the cards. I would love to meet you and prove my point. I can follow you with the two card Monte and get a stronger reaction than any of your four routines."

Dick move old man. The younger follows up with this:

"That's a bit harsh. You're basing your opinion on my skill as a perform off of a trailer. You've never seen me perform at a gig. To assume that you could easily get a stronger reaction is ignorant."

To which he gets THIS reply:

"Sorry. I wasn't talking about you as a performer but about the trick cards. (Nice backpedal there but you totally did.)  Makes me wonder why you still (7 years doing the trick) feel a need for trick gadgets?" (Wait didn't you just challenge this kid to a duel with 2 card monte which is a gimmick?)

As the final insult, after constantly comparing his gimmick to another one that is NOTHING like his, the younger magi put his foot down. The "wiser" guy replied with this:

"Yep, I was expecting a personal always happens with those who have no other retort." (It wasn't a personal attack by the way. Just being told he was wrong was enough to feel it was)

Why am I sharing the details of this you ask? It's because I don't want ANY of you to becomes these kind of people. I can already see the guys who are going to be these other people when they are in their 60s and 70s. They are pumped up full of ego and bitterness. They have "retired" for whatever reason and now ride a computer chair doling out advice (yes I recognize the irony of me typing that so shut up) in a world they haven't lived in for some time. 

This kind of stuff makes me mad and no one can/will speak up because you will get the same treatment. In the end, the worst offender of the two messaged the kid, called him a fool, and then blocked him. Sure would make me want to go to a place full of guys like that eh?

This is all I hear when I read stuff like this online