Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Time to bitch. I know what a shocker. Let's take a look at hocus-pocus' new stuff shall we? (Bad elevator music plays) Woo let's pick on This first. A real functioning metal detector. Wow I bet this just is GREAT for walking around restaurants. Great opener. WEEeeeeeeeooOOOOOOooooo "Egads I have found some metal at this table. What that sir? You say it's the plate in yer head? Can Is tick this magnet to it? No sire stay seated what are you AUGH!! MY FINGERS MY LIFE IS RUINED.. NO MORE SEX FOR ME!!"

Yah a metal detector that makes a child lazer gun or barnyard noises just screams respect and cool doesn't it? Why do people put out these props that they create for themselves and then decide to make money off of it. It would be like me releasing my rose thru the hand effect. It was made for my act in mind. Anyone else doing it just because it looks cool is doing it for the wrong reason. If I convinced enuff young penguin magic kinda kids they needed it they would buy it. However it would become magic closet fodder after a while when they realized there as no practical use for it for their character. Very few demented magi's out there really. Too many effects get released in the name of the almighty dollar. When they are made for one certain person and get marketed for everyone it loses that original presentation flair and becomes another trick that could readily get exposed by a poor performer.

Regardless, I suppose my point is that a metal detector is a dumb idea. Then again so is this.


Thursday, February 19, 2004

Posted on a sideshow message board but it applies here too.

After being in the entertainment business for a very long time, (Not as long as some but thaz life isn't it?), and seeing egos clash and backstabbing and asskissing and all of that fun stuff that makes the entertainment industry annoying and great at the same time I wanna say a few things. First I have never understood why many of the performers I meet are complete pricks. If they aren't it's because they think they can use you or yer skill to their advantage. I suppose popularity makes you feel all important and all of that crap but some seem to lose sight of why they do what they do. Just because yer a freek as it were doesn't give you the right to try and be a complete outcast to your fans or the places that hire you. Woo yer special you stick pins in yerself, regurgitate, lay in spikes etc etc (Not a personal attack on anyone just a generalization).. so what? Yer still a person and should act as such. Just because you got personal problems doesn't mean you can take it out on others and if you feel so damn high and mighty maybe you SHOULD be taken down a peg or two and remember what it's like to be human again. Don't believe yer own press kit.

Then we have these guys who have been in the business so long be it magic, sideshow, whatever who are so jaded they think they are always in the right because they are older and have "Experience". Sometimes thaz not all you need. An open mind is good too. Maybe some common sense and the willingness to accept that there are differences in people and the world is changing. There is a market for everything, if you can find it and make them believe they need it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion just as I am here so stop bickering, name calling, pointing fingers and letting yer damn egos get the best of you. Defending yerself is one thing, but beating a dead horse is.. well amusing in some countries but not here. Professionals you say? Act like it.

"Arguing on the internet is like racing in the special olympics. Even if you win, yer still retarded."


*This message brought to you by a guy with too much free time and a strong venomous opinion. If you don't like it tough. Thaz life. You have yer views I have mine. Don't tell me mine are wrong and yours are right. It doesn't fly. It's just the way it is. Thank you goodnight. Tip yer waitress.. over.*

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

It's been awhile. I am sorry children of all ages. Life has sucked, but it's getting better. Now to torture you myself. This is disturbing. (Thanx to Andy for this link. It really really boggles my mind this guy even EXISTS.) This is what I am talking about everytime I am in a Barnes and Noble, Borders, Waldenbooks, and all them other over priced bookstores. Hell even Half Priced books does it too.

Go into ANY bookstore and ask where the magic books are. Where do you end up? Performing arts? No. An art section of any kind? Hell no. Games and hobbies. GAMES AND FREEKING HOBBIES!! Magic has been reduced to a game and hobby in the eyes of the world. Even MIMES have books in performing arts. MIMES OR THE LOVE OF GAWD!! Don't you see what I am saying? This sucks and it's all the fault of kokgobblers like that rotund lawn gnome up there in that link. (mind you this is unfair to lawn gnomes as they actually serve a purpose. I dunno what that is, but I am sure it's important.) Magic has been thrust deep right above mimes but right below jugglers. Hell clowns get more notoriety because they can scare the shit out of people. When was the last time a magician scared you? I don't mean with magic, with just looking like they do. (In otherwords badly dressed 80's fashion victims or closet drag queens.)

I'll tell you what scares me. That magic has gotten this far into a bad place. You say you do a sideshow people are like "Really?" you say I do magic and they go "Oh.. really?" I'm not just gonna blame it on Uncle Bob solely, but the hobbyists have tainted it in the eyes of those who do not know. Do you perform ballet without practicing. Do you go to a Kung Fu tourney without knowing what yer doing? Why buy a trick and screw it up or do it badly. It's easy. Nothing is on the line. It's just a trick. Oh well. I blame the rise of magic shops trying to just turn a buck, online and off. I guess it's kinda like the stripper I used to date. She said "If they're stupid enuff to give me money, I'm gonna take it."

Magic isn't viewed as a serious artform anymore and it prolly won't be ever again. The blame falls everywhere, but mostly on the shoulders of mental midgets like Mr. Shamu Ebay up there. This is why I have shirked the title magician, and gone right to entertainer. Anyone can do magic, but it's harder to entertain people. Think about it... and DON'T buy that DVD!!



Sunday, February 01, 2004

Word of warning...

I have had a not so great week. Well lemme rephrase that.. not so great 6 months, but the last week to be specific has sucked more so. I lost my phone last week and a few days ago my electricty got cut off. Also might have to lose my place of living. So I may not be updating this page for a bit, but you never know. Hell I am doing it now aren't I? Not like anyone reads this. I know that like 2-3 do from my website hits log. Anyway... just a heads up. I still haven't gotten enuff people for the book contest I had a while back. Only one guy sent a suggestion. I need at least one more. Don't know what I am talking about? Try looking at previous posts. Toodles.