Part of the problem?

I think if you are a female in magic and happen to be considered "attractive" there are a few things you should know.

If you become high profile you will become a target. Plain and simple. People will attack you for the way you look over what you can do. Humans are shitty that way. Don't let it shake you but also don't become famous if you can't handle it.

The second thing is you will be a role-model and you should be more aware of how you present yourself, especially in the age of "the internet is forever". The younger generation, male and female (and other), look to those they see in the media, social or otherwise. It's where they draw their inspiration from and if you are on TV or have a big social media following they are looking at you closely.

It is (or should be) your responsibility as a performer to be the example of how to do things right be that in skill or motivation. There is nothing wrong with being hot and showing off what yer mama gave you, but temper it with talent as well. If what you show is nothing but TnA there are those out there who will think that is all you need and voila', more shitty performers in the world trying harder to get by on their looks than cultivating a skill set.

There is nothing wrong with choosing to use your assets to your advantage. It's entertainment after all. People like their "celebrities" to be easy on the eyes. However, the novelty will eventually wear off and if you can't deliver in the talent portion of our show, you might just fade into obscurity (or become a judge on a shitty TV talent show).

This post brought to you by Ariana Grande.

Ellen is an incredible & kind human being.. I use my talent AND my sexuality all the time because i choose to. women can be sexual AND talented. naked and dignified. it’s OUR choice. 🖤 & we will keep fighting til people understand. i say this w all due respect but thank u, next. https://t.co/wSknRSlJN8

— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) November 21, 2018

Deep like a hole in the ground...

I was having a conversation with a younger magician today about helping him flesh out some of his routines. At one point he said this - "I just want to be great" to which I replied:

"You gotta be bad first, then move to ok, slowly get to good and let others decide you're great."

I was pretty proud of that so now you get to see it too.

Bridge and tunnel magicians...

"The creation of content is not a hobby. It is a profession." - Jean-Claude Junker

I found this quote while reading an article about the creators of Spinal Tap seeking remuneration for their work in the extremely shady industry of film and music.

For those of us who take it very seriously, creating magic is indeed a profession that borders on the obsessive. There are a number of things that take away what some of us spend a lot of time on.

• FAKE! - A lot of the younger and unlearned magi apparently just assume something is camera edits when it's "too good" and they can't figure it out. When you do this you belittle the hard work many of us do to make it look that good. 
• Actual Fakes - They have good reason to yell fake tho'. There are people like Zack King who (obviously) use video editing tricks to make magical things happen. However there are also people who more subtly use After Effects to create seemingly impossible tricks and don't own up to it. Those people are jag offs who will never escape their instagram account.
• Weekend Warriors - Then there's THESE assholes. People who create magic for the sake of magic... and a paycheck. They are not making magic for the art. Oh I am sure they THINK they are but what they really are doing is looking for a way to get paid because A: they are terrible with money and 2: don't actually perform for real people and couldn't entertain a thought let alone a group of people.

It's these last ones that make me the most mad. They want money and notoriety and think releasing magic tricks will accomplish that because a few other slugs managed to do it. Every time they put out some piece of  lackluster crap tied together with elastic and magnets, they cover up the good stuff other real creators and performers have released.

Obviously the ones who dig through the mire to find the gold are the ones who will likely triumph but it's getting harder and harder every day because of these "creators" foisting their hobbies on the actual professionals. It also discourages better stuff from being produced as it's not monetarily worth the effort because a gem will soon be obscured by shit.

Fuckin' tourists...

Flip it over...

So I was watching an episode of NCIS (don't judge me) and there was a great line that got me thinking and thought I would share.

"Nobody posts their B-sides"

This is in reference to the internet and it's very true. People only put their BEST online. They try 50 times and pick the best version. (especially when it comes to magic trailers but don't get me started on that)

It got me thinking about all of the footage I have. How much of it is only "ok" and how much is good. Sometimes it's fine to show off some of our flaws. (So long as it doesn't expose anything obviously) In my circle, we sometimes talk about the difference between professionals and amateurs. One that I always bring up is amateurs won't talk about their bad shows but the pros wear them as a badge of honor. Don't be afraid to fail. You might learn something. About your magic and yourself.

With that in mind, here is something from one of my recent performances.

The definition of insanity...

I was reading an article about the OODA Loop, (A theory that pertains to many things including magic), and in it there was a talk about the 2nd law of Thermodynamics". While technically this refers to mechanics and whatnot, it can also be applied to people. For you lazt bastards who don't want to read it, here is a line that jumped out at me: "The more we rely on outdated mental models even while the world around us is changing, the more our mental “entropy” goes up."

Doesn't that sound a lot like most of the magicians we know?

Magic doesn't like to evolve with the times. To be fair humans in general resist swift change but we are one, if not many, decades behind the times. We have jumped ahead a bit here and there with the advent of the internet, but let's face it, we are still giving people books printed in the 30s and 40s back when tricks were titled "To magically procure a selected card from a borrowed gentleman's bowler hat". 

In some cases, magic is collapsing in on itself because they believe circling the wagons is the best option. The SAM, IBM, Magic Castle and even forums like the big soylent green refuse to look at the world around us and accept there might be people who view entertainment different from them.

Don't agree with me? Here is another bit of text from that article...

"Individuals or organizations that don’t communicate with the outside world by getting new information about the environment or by creating new mental models act like a “closed system.” And just as a closed system in nature will have increasing entropy, or disorder, so too will a person or organization experience mental entropy or disorder if they’re cut off from the outside world and new information."

 Now if that doesn't sound like a bunch of old white men with decks of cards I don't know what does.

The power to control the world is in which finger?

Sometimes you have to forget that which you know... or think you know.

For us the moment of magic is when we do the move. (or when we see someone else do something sneaky) For the audience the magic happens when we say it does. We can feel so guilty when we are holding nothing waiting for it to vanish. Being a powerful wizard sometimes means taking chances and just letting go of what you are privy to.

It's a hard lesson to be learned but be brave and you will find the audience isn't looking as closely as you might think they are. 

Fortune favors the bold...

Airheads...

I'm pretty sure magicians are the only ones who think that levitating a balloon, bubble, or bird is magic.

Want proof? Ok. Overheard at a magic convention show while watching a performer do a levitating bubble trick:
Magician: "Isn't that cool?"
Magician's Wife: "Umm.. no shit. Bubbles float."

Draw your own conclusions.

Et tu Star Trek?

I was just watching an old episode of Deep Space 9 (don't judge me) and as usual TV has to go and poke fun at magic with lines like this: "Ah, he sounds like the right type. Painfully shy, introverted, a slight lack of confidence, just the kind of person who might want to dazzle the world with his magical abilities"

I'm not going to argue with it but do you see what we're up against... and this was the 90's! It still goes on. We are seen as jokes, hence box office flops like Burt Wonderstone. I doubt our profession will ever return to what it was at it's height (before TV radio and electricity) but there has to be something we can do so shows like Arrested Development stop poking fun at us as a whole...

Regardless of how painfully funny it is.

Words of wisdom...

My friend Dwayne Andrew just posted this on his facebook:

"If I could actually pass a solid ring through another by suspending the laws of physics, I wouldn't start by showing that it can't be done. Just clanging them together does not prove they are solid. It just shows that you lack imagination and skill."

This falls under the same heading as "beating Houdini's record" with a strait jacket or any other stock presentation of an effect really. 

We have a bad habit of monkey see, monkey do in magic. If it works for them, it should work for us right? That's how they do it so that's how it must be done. WRONG!

Want to be more creative? Then NEVER do the same presentation as ANYONE else... no matter how good it is. Just keep going until you find your groove. It's easier than you think and more gratifying than being a clone of the rest of the magic world.

Be your own man... or woman.

I don't have to write an article...

This guy already did it for me.

Enjoy...

It seems so simple...

Watching Craig Ferguson (who is possibly the most "real" person in show business right now) and he said something that, if actually heeded, would make magic forums ghost towns...

1. Does this need to be said?
2. Does this need to be said by me?
3. Does this need to be said by me right now?

Good rules for life not just the internet.

Call me fish meal...

Saw a quote on my Facebook (oddly by a chewing gum company) that I feel should be shared with the magical world.

“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” - Herman Melville

Suck it up...

Saw this on Jeff McBride's twitter - "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer." ~ Albert Einstein

There is a good lesson here and a story. I recently resurrected an old idea I have been toying with for almost a decade.  I would come back to it and see if there was a way to improve it. However I didn't know what it needed, I just knew I would know it when I saw it. The other day I finally got it. It's visual and easier than the original concept.

The moral? Don't give up. If you believe in something or if you just REALLY wanna do it don't give up. It might take you half your life but one day, if you are patient enough, you will get it.

It's all just a matter of time.

Words of wisdom...

From a friend - "I never noticed how facepalm inducing magicians are". We're looking at you Zak.

You're welcome...

In a few more sentences I am going to give you a gift. It's nothing tangible. Nothing you can hang on the wall. It's an idea. It's a GREAT idea. You can start thanking me now.

As many of you who perform "Easy Money" (Hundy 500, Prophet, Extreme Burn, etc.) the trick has some fundamental flaws. (Except for the original one that turned pieces of paper into money, that just make sense) The biggest one of course is why would you EVER turn them back into a lower denomination. I don't care what your patter it, it's dumb. The other is you can't hand the bills out (yes I know a few have come up with ways to do it but that's not the point).

I was in a restaurant last night and came upon a saying I have never heard before. It read as thus:


I then realized by quoting this line, (especially good here in Las Vegas), you not only have a reason to fold your money in half to execute the change, but you have the perfect motivation to just put it away in your pocket and move on.

Everything is now justified by just that one line alone. This my friends and readers is my gift to you. The gift of "Helping Your Magic Make Sense".

Now go forth and multiply!

PS: If you can't get enough of my ramblings, I did a guest column Over Here.

Like yoda only cheaper...

Have you ever seen someone who advertises themselves as "So-and-so: Master Magician"? Of course after you watch their act you realize they are under some sort of delusional alien influence?

Here is a little something to gnaw on in your brain kiddies: A true master never says that he is.

This thought brought to you by Kung-Fu Panda

Find a penny pick it up...

Ever seen the deleted scenes in the movie Dogma? No? Well let me illuminate something you might have missed.

"Evil is an abstract! It's a human construct. But true to his irresponsible nature, Man won't own up to being the engineer of evil, so he blames his dark deeds on my ilk. But his selfishness is limitless, and it's not enough for him to shadow his own existence. He turned Hell into a suffering Pit - fire, wailing, darkness - the kind of place anyone would do anything to get out of. And why? Because he lacks the ability to forgive himself. It is beyond your abilities to simply make recompense for and regret the sins you commit. No - you choose rather to create a psychodrama and dwell in a foundless belief that God could never forgive your 'grievous offenses'. So you bring your guilt and inner-decay with you to Hell - where the horrid imaginations of so many gluttons-for-punishment give birth to the sickness that has infected the abyss since the first one of your kind arrived there, begging to be 'punished'. And in doing so, they've transformed the cold and solitude to pain and misery. I've spent eons privy to the flames, inhaling the decay, hearing the wail of the damned. I know what effect such horrors have on the delicate psyche of an angelic being. "

This very wordy monologue was delivered by Jason Lee's character about what Hell was and what humans changed it into. I always liked this little tirade because it's so very true. We can't have good without imposing some sort of bad on it.

A good example is the phrase "find a penny pick it up, all the day you'll have good luck". That was all well and good, but then some asshat had to come along and add the heads or tails rule. We couldn't just leave well enuff alone and have ANYONE who finds a penny feel good about it. Now we have to worry about it facing the right side up.

In the second Matrix film, they briefly allude to the fact that we, as a race, could not accept a perfect world, and therefore caused problems. This concept runs RAMPANT thru the hallowed halls of the magic community. The phrase, "you can't please everybody" rings true on magic message boards across the globe.

Why can't we just give unbiased advice and constructive criticisms I ask you? Well because we don't live on the big rock candy mountain that's why. People are people so why should it be... sorry almost slipped into a goth song there. We just can't help but bitch and be heard because we're all damaged goods in one way or another.

Why do I even bring this up? To let those of you out there know that just because a few people might not like your demo video or ace assembly or claim your pass isn't "Good" doesn't mean you should let them get to you. Ignore the bastards who have no problem casting the first stones and instead revel in the best revenge to naysayers everywhere.... and just succeed.

They really hates that shit.

Bizzaro.