Sunday, August 10, 2008

Syntax error: Can't translate Jive...

Ok so the last observation in my series on video production (finally) is about software. Now unless you happen to have a lot of money, or yer like other magicians who just leech off their parents bank accounts, you probably won't be getting an Avid Suite anytime soon. (if you don't know what that is, it's best you not ask) For the rest of us mere mortals who have to eat Heroin.. er.. smack ramen, you probably have some form of *Koff*IlLeGaLlYdOwNlOaDeD*koff* video editing software running rampant on yer hard drive.

For those of us who think Mac is just a cumbersome ape with a shiny coat, you have programs such as Premiere (pro) to toy with and some lower end programs such as Vegas video. Mind you some of the more recent magic videos that have come out, they look like they were authored in MS paint or something. Your best bet will always be to get a non-linear program. This allows you to edit with complete freedom and layer your clips. Linear editing is a thing of the past, yet still exists on proprietary software. To give you an idea of what linear editing is.. think Windows Movie maker and you'll have it.

Ok so you Mac users.. don't think just because I think yer a bunch of commies doesn't mean I won't include you in the conversation. Many programs are cross compatible across OS's. (That means companies go out of their WAY to re-program something just so they don't have to listen to you BITCH.) The new CS3 Premiere Pro is available for Mac and PC. Why? See the above parentheses. Mind you with a mac most people go with Final Cut Pro. Allow me to say I have tried both and Final Cut is laid out like someone paid some MIT student to do it, but first hit me in the head with a brick a few times and gave him mild brain damage. It makes no sesne. Stuff is in places that is not convenient and the windows do straaaaaange things to me in the night.

Anywho, Macintosh computers will always be good for one thing and that is a boat anchor.. no.. wait.. the Mac can take on a big load. I don't mean the same kind of big load yer girlfriend takes on in those amateur webcam shows she does. I mean like 200+ Gig video and graphics files. It takes a licking and keeps on ticking. PC's tend to start choking and gasping like a fat guy trying to run about oh.. ten feet.

So anyway, moving on. It's also a good idea to learn After Effects. The best way to describe that program is that it is like Photoshop for video. AE is used in almost all major video productions for special effects and the like. That's all I have to say about that.

One last thing and I'm done. What's nice about these video editing programs is they not only give you a place to put your video clips but by golly a place for audio. You know all of them bifs bams and smapps you hear in movies? All fake. It's called Foley editing. (Not Mic Foley either) To have a professional looking AND sounding video production, you need sound effects to drop into your timelines. There are a myriad of places online to pick up sound effects for free or you could simply make your own.

That, in essence, is the last of my video production advice I choose to share with you. Tune in next time when I will offer up pie charts and graphs about how much pie and chart graphs do next to nothing and mean absolutely squat.

EXCELSIOR!!

Bizzaro.

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