Turn the cameras off, back up all the way...

And if you get that song lyric WITHOUT looking it up on Google, then we would prolly get along just fine.

Regardless, I finally found some time in my busy schedule of underhanded dealings and magical madness to wax venomously about more video editing crapola. So far we have covered lighting and sound. Now you need to know what works best with that info I may or may not have crammed into your eyes.

A lot of people believe you need a hardcore HD camera to have nice video. Those people are so wrong it's their job. Sure you can drop a coupla grand on a real nice camera. If you have the money to do, then go for it. For those of us who are broke ass niggas, we must resort to e-bay and the like. However, there are some specs you should look for on a camera and they are just as easy as your girlfriend.

First and foremost, look for 3 CCD. This effectively means you have a special chip for each color that video displays in: Red, green, and blue. You sacrifice a bit of the ability to shoot in low light, but the color quality is superb. (of course if you read two posts back, you would know how to work around that.) There are a few hand-held mini-dv camcorders that illicit this function. If you get an older model, you can come out with enuff money to buy some cheap lights or maybe a nice ham sammich.

The other nice thing to look for in the camera department is Mic in ability. Now all of your higher end contraptions will have this. However a lot of the camcorders do not. The ones with 3 chip and mic in are few and far between. I personally started a crusade for the Panasonic PV-GS150 and thus far I have been fairly pleased with the results.

Fair warning: try to avoid (LIKE THE PLAGUE) the cameras that record to a hard drive. They are intended for soccer moms and grandmothers who want to record their little crotch droppings highlights and then put them on a DVD. Mind you these people have nary a braincell to call their own when it comes to video. These cameras exist for two reasons: 1). User friendly-ness and B). to PISS me off!!

Now there are a few that come with a dock station that allows you to capture the video thru a firewire/ DV cable. (Which I will probably talk about in my next post) This is merely a ruse. Do not fall for it!!

Now that I am over that, I also suggest you pick up a really good monitor to hook to your camera whenever possible so you can see what your video output is because the little LCD screens that come on most cameras LIE!! They lie so much, you female readers would sit on it's face if it was Pinocchio and chant, "Lie to me, tell the truth, now lie to me!!" (By the way I am just kidding. I know we don't have any female readers.)

So, by now you have figured out the best kind of camera to be on the lookout for and that I really need to get out more. The best way to be informed is to become informed. I tell you folks all of this out of love. Not love for you, but for the love of stop making lackluster magic videos!!!

Now go listen to more Tom Petty.

Bizzaro.

Sound off like you got a pair!!

So yesterday, (For me anyway) we talked about lighting your video production and how to go about it the cheap way. Tonight, this morning, today, whenever you are reading this; we are going to discuss how not to sound like you are shooting your film in an empty living room devoid of taste or sound-proofing.

When we talk about cameras I will go into more detail about some stuff, but one thing to look for, aside from 3 CCD, is a mic in jack. This enables you to run ANY kind of microphone to your camera. Lapel, wired, even a PC microphone can be plugged in and used in a pinch. Personally, I prefer a boom mic type of set-up. It negates you having to hide a lapel mic.

While I am on the subject, there is nothing I hate more than seeing a wire running out of someone's ass or a big black spot on their white shirt. How hard is it to HIDE these things? Not very. Trust me on this!

(Goes off to eat a cupcake and calm down)

Ok so, take a microphone, strap it to tripod, borrow a jointed mic stand, hell hang it from the ceiling just out of frame. Get some headphones so you can make sure it sounds ok while you film. (or if yer alone to check the levels before hand) Do not EVER rely on the built in mic on any camera. It picks up too much ambient noise. If you are using a high end camera, get a shotgun mic that is mostly directional. They're not the3 best way to go, but they are more effective.

Ok so now you can be heard clearly and your voice is not drowned out by the noises of your neighbors fighting or your roommate banging your girlfriend in the other room. Now you need to "sweeten" the sound, as the kids on the street are now calling it. Again there are a myriad of programs at yer disposal to use. Even programs like Premiere and Final Cut has built in audio mixers for you to toy with. Applications like audition are good too as they are made to handle music files specifically. Mind you most of their clientele are just going to make shitty techno loops with them, but yer better than that... aren't you?

Anywho, a small smattering of autogate to remove the noise gaps between talking mixed with some compressor/expander/limiter action and yer good to go. (More or less) Just mix according to taste. (Headphones help. A LOT. You can pick up more nuances in tonal range using them. Things you probably would miss otherwise.) After that you are going to want to export the audio as a separate file, preferably in Dolby Digital Audio. Mind you this all depends on how far you are going to take your video production. This last thing is merely for the sake of DVD authoring. If it is for the intarwebz, then forget I said that last part. As a matter of fact, if your roommate is banging your girlfriend, then yer prolly too dense to run an audio editing program and you should just delete the last half of this entry from your mind to make room for other thoughts.. like, "mmm cupcakes".

Anywho, tomorrow I might be coerced into talking about cameras and what kind you should keep an eye out for. Until then, you might want to go punch the person you live with in the face, just to be safe.

You never know.

Bizzaro.

Video killed the magic star?

Now that you ask, yes I have been slacking a bit on my journal. Sorry kids, I have been working on a top secret project that has been SUCKING MY WILL TO LIIIIIVE!!! (Kidding actually it has been quite amusing) Perhaps I can satiate your lust for vengeance by showing you THIS amusing article I found on one of the forums I frequent.

However, this brings up a good point. The discussion of magic DVD's. Now I have no advice on how not to get picked up by the cops (aside from don't gank their shit) but I can tell you a thing or three that will make your magical videos look better, faster, and stronger than before. Perhaps you too can surpass the quality of crappy rushed-out-the-door how to's that looked like they were filmed by your step-cousin who just happens to have palsey. (Or Michael J. Fox, take yer pick.)

First thing you have to.. nay NEED to ask yourself is, "IS this worth putting out on video and charging gobs of cash for?" Chances are the REAL answer is Hell No!! but in today's world, that point is sadly moot. Since any asshat can pirate good video editing software, we are all pretty much at the veritable mercy of ambitious tools with good minds but terrible eyes.

The two real secrets to creating a professional looking video are sound and lighting. (Ok there is a third and that is a camera that doesn't suck monkey balls, but we'll get to that later. The camera that is... not the monkey balls.) Over the next few days I am going to sling advice your way about these subjects and possibly more.

Some people believe you have to spend a metric fuckton on a light kit so you can look good. Belay that and instead spend 50 bucks on clip lights from Wally World or Home Despot and maybe a couple cheap par-cans from a party store. While yer at it, head to yer grocery store and pick up some wax and/or tissue paper. This stuff works great as a diffuser. It will help prevent you from being washed out or there being hot spots on your props and your maybe even that receding hairline you forgot to put make-up on. For some ambiance, find some lighting gels as well. You can light normal everyday objects in your house and create your own Avant-Garde-Ikea-cheapass backdrop. See?

You might want to look into getting some cheap tripods or mic stands. Something you can clip them lights onto. You need to be lighted evenly on all sides and try not to cast heavy shadows on your backdrop if you can help it. (unless you are trying to be some artsy bonehole) Evenly lighting not only yourself, but your background, will add a lot to your picture. Don't be afraid to experiment either. If you have questions, READ A BOOK!! PErhaps even do some bloody research at the biggest library around: Teh Int4webz!!

One last thing you can nab to help out is black and white posterboard. Ever see some low paid grip standing off to the side holding a big white board during a video shoot? Well he is reflecting light onto the subject. It's a soft ambient light and not direct. Black is used to block out and absorb light (Duh). Grab some foam core board and perhaps some black felt. Attach the felt to the board so you have a black board and leave the white one alone for reflections sake.

All of this alone might cost you an arm or a leg (or someone else's if yer sneaky about it). However, with a little creative African American Engineering, you too can make even yourself look good. The best teacher is experience, so get out there and see what happens when you point this at that and turn this that way. Tomorrow (or sometime close to it) I shall speak of ships and shoes and ceiling wax. Of cabbages and kings!!

Or maybe just how not to sound like an idjit in a wind tunnel. You never really know with me I guess. Until then, just remember:

We're all the same color once the lights go out.

Bizzaro.

Pure cheese...

Sometimes I look elsewhere for inspiration to write about. After yesterdays silly ass BS post, I decided I should actually write about something. Instead of filling up Theory 11's server space, I instead have decided to force feed Blogger's maw with my verbal food for thought.

Ok so, what is a purist? This is the question at hand. I myself consider myself a bit of one... but only when it comes to certain aspects of my card magic. Sometimes I will devise a gimmick for an effect and try my damnedest to create a way to perform it without said gaffery. Mind you over the past few years I have created a few effects that work best with a tiny little gimmick used such as a double backed card.

I think what I would consider a trait of purism is the ability to do 80-90% of your magic with someone else's props. Their deck of cards, their coins, their swiss cheese, etc. Mind you there is the school of thought that it's not HOW you aaccomplish something, but the effect it has on the audience. If it's better to use 32 1/2 duplicates, then do it.

Magic, much like many other things in life, are personal preference. If you want to do something a certain way that's your yer choice and right. Sometimes other bastards (Read: Magicians) will say you should perform something a certain way using a certain move because that's what THEY would do. I say SHENANIGANS!! It's your thing, do what you wanna do. Be as pure as you want to be and I too shall stand beside you being as pure as I have always been...

like the driven slush.

Bizzaro.

Officious Seeing Eye Blog

And if you get that... yer nifty keen in my book.

So remember the posts I made a while back about changing up yer website content from time to time? Well somebody on this journal, (I won't say who), got bored enuff to toy with their site's front page a bit... with a videos page overhaul in the works.

This however, is not my point tonight. I just would like to point out that THIS...

is now merely a decoration in my house because it never got the reaction I thought it should.

That is all.

Bizzaro.

It was bound to happen...

Who sez there is too much much exposure on the internet?



Alas. Some people are just jerks.

Regardless, I got a great compliment the other day and I quote, "Bizzaro is the slapstick gothkid of magic". This ranks up there with the time Doug Scheer called me the "Gomez Addams of magic".

This brings to mind a quote I recently heard that was uttered by Ghandi. "Be the change you want to see in the world". I firmly agree with this and it applies to many aspects of life, including the performing arts. You can blend in with the crowd and pull doves out of yer ass the same way everyone else does... or maybe instead, you dress up like a dove and produce magicians!! (Don't laugh, it's been done) If you are sick and tired of seeing the same old tripe, then DO something about it. Sure you run the risk of being pigeonholed as a certain type of act. However, this makes you unique and the only thing worse than being talked about.. is NOT being talked about. - Oscar Wilde

So if you want to see some change, maybe you should get on the ball and make the line start with you. Besides, what's the worst thing that could happen?

Be the ball...

Bizzaro.

Are you Finnish?

I favor the French personally but that's besides the point. (Also, these people are besides the point, but that too is besides the point.)

So on another forum I tend to hang out on too much, a finger was pointed to This post where some wanker asked a question and it devolved into what it usually does.... jaw flapping drivel. Now I am not without irony because let's face it, I do my fair bit of mandible moving on this journal, but hey, you don't have to read it so Nyah!!

However, that's not the point. The question that was asked was "How do you know your act is finished?" I immediately had an opinion on this. (What a shock I know) So since I won't sully my good name on that board, I shall instead wax poetic here for all to see. (ew!)

A live act such as those that we perform in the magic world can ALWAYS evolve and change. It is NEVER finished. It can be in a state of content completion. It can stay the same for YEARS. However, due to random stimuli we discover new or easier ways to handle and effect. Perhaps we crate a moment or bit of business that works better than something we already have. Old ideas can be re-introduced and cycle in and out for the purposes of experimentation.

ANYONE who thinks they are a master of their craft and their magic don't stink and therefore has no need to change any further or evolve is an uppity dick who has no right to call himself an artist. Everything is in a constant state of flux. Magic, dance, theater, life, business, dogs and cats.. LIVING TOGETHER!! Er..sorry.

Regardless, you may have a routine that has been the same since before Gawd, but there is ALWAYS a chance to tweak it. Even if it is un-perceivable by anyone else but you. You might change the timing to make a bit or line funnier. You might reword the same joke to have a better impact. The only way TO become better is to be open to change an d not be afraid to experiment. If you are afraid to fall, you will never soar high with the other.

I think I made my points don't you?

Bizzaro.

I sense a theme...

There are these websites online that have compiled lists of the more commonly agreed on magical effects.They are as follows:
*Production
*Vanish
*Transformation
*Restoration
*Teleportation
*Levitation
*Penetration (Sounds dirty don't it?)
*Prediction (Think Menatlism, but you knew I was going to say that right?)

So most magical effects can be pigeonholed into one of these categories right? WRONG!! While traveling down one of our highways here in Dallas in a moving truck with Aaron Stone, we got on this topic. I decided to try and fit a few of the effects I have created and use into these here above slots.

I came up empty. Thus I stumbled upon a new category that needs to be added to this list. I like to call it (drumroll) Forced Visuals. What does that mean you ask? Simple. It's a non sequitur that takes what people know and uses it against them. It's a prop that does something they know said object cannot do, but yet does it anyway. It is a forced perspective of the mind using visuals that may or may NOT mesh with their established reality.

Many of my favorite performers use this technique to entertain throngs of crowds all the time. Some people might call this sight gags or throw aways. It goes much deeper, usually on a psychological level that most people could not put into words nor would they want to because only people like me think about this kind of useless crap!

I need to get out more I think.

Bizzaro.

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors...

But I think that Itricks has a sick sense of humor. (Just kidding guys. I needed something to tie the song lyric to the post.)

Anywho, if you believe what they say, then next Tuesday you will get to see my grinning visage on a show that I personally can't believe lasted this long. In celebration of this... um.. thing... I have decided to dispense some advice should you ever find yourself in a similar position. (missionary?)

Having been on two TV contest shows (And possibly a third if I'm lucky) I want to throw a few ideas your way. First thing should be a given, but try as I might some poeple need this idea beaten into their damn heads. Be Professional! Seriously. There is nothing worse than a performer who does not conduct himself in a way not becoming of a person who does his art for a living. (hunh?)

In the same vein, don't be a prima donna dick. (or cunt if yer a chick. You are not excused from this article just because you have breasts. Sorry. Also, if that word offends you.. deal with it.) You cannot.. or more accurately, SHOULD not go into a place such as a recording studio and expect to be treated any differently than the rest of the cattle and then throw a fit when they don't bend to yer every beck and call.

Also, be nice to the other performers. (Who return the courtesy of course) This is a PRIME time to network, meet other people who know people, hand out cards, etc. You never know when knowing someone with a similar or differing talent might come in handy. If you treat them like crap, (And vice versa), then you will be known as that arrogant performer who no one wants to work with. This goes for the people running the show. They can edit yer sorry ass out like you never existed.

From a magician standpoint, it is also a good idea to go perform some minor miracles for the other non-magical performers who might be in their 3rd hour of stale donuts and false sincerity. Go cheer them up and be sociable. Free samples are never bad in these situations. Also, from a magician standpoint, don't be discouraged when they don't pick you out to advance or win. Magic takes it from behind in most contests... on or off TV. Remember what you are REALLY there for: Name Recognition. The more people who know who you are, the more pull your name has, the more you can charge down the road. Also doesn't hurt to pad your demo reel with some footage of you on national TV.

So to re-cap: Be professional, DON'T be an asshat, hand out free samples, and make nice with everyone because you just never know.

Experience is ALWAYS the best teacher.

Bizzaro.

According to this product, you can conjure up tears in an instant. I say why stop there. Get this:

and have the whole ROOM in tears!!

They'll never forget you.

Bizzaro.

Another word for Thesaurus?

So I got to thinking about something the other day that may or may NOT help you become more creative. This one definitely ranks high on the list of "theory". (No need for a number behind that. It's too low on the list.) Anywho, on to my point. (yes I have one and not just on the top of my head) Ready for this one? Vocabulary!!

(Dramatic pause)

Crack open a dictionary and look up words you aren't familiar with. Here is a good exercise: Go to your Myspace account and look at the update mood section. Go thru the lost of moods and see what all of the ones you don't know mean. Here is a good place to go - M-W.com.

Ok so now that you have stopped looking at me like the RCA dog, allow me to explain. If you don't know what something is then you can't know what it does. The more ways you can interpret the world around you and recognize the terms, the better you can visualize the mechanics or props you might need. This in turn will help you be more creative as you are armed with the proper knowledge to add two and two together and get... 5.

I told you math was hard.

Bizzaro.

Chicken Dinner!!

Sorry, flashbacks from watching 21 (Did that movie come and go or what?). Anywho, we have a winner for the BAMF! contest I started last week. It seems Andy has been stalking me on my other sites and figured out that I finally got a license to Kill.. er.. drive. (for those keeping score I am 29, so you do the math cuz' I suck at it. 2+2=fish ok?) You may think it's sad or funny, but you should hear the embarrassing stories.

Enuff of that silliness, he wins a manuscript of how to accomplish this miracle of magical craziness (Assuming he can understand my writing). Speaking of which, I am considering marketing this thru a third party publishing house. I don't expect it to tbe the next big thing BUT I think people can use it as it has gotten HUGE reactions for me. What do you think? Answer the poll to the right!! Be heard in 08'!!

Tomorrow, advice on a way to be more creative. All it takes is a book. Think it over and I'll be back.

Math is hard...

Bizzaro.

Card tricks for the close-up impaired...

Some of you might recall a post made a while back about a local bar we have been performing a variety show at. Well tonight was our first time at the new venue, (Protip: When a bar starts screwin' yah, go find a new place close-by... but don't forget to take your crowd with you.) Anywho, tonight I didn't have time to swing by the ol' HOD (House of the Dead for those of you not in the know) and grab the props for what I had planned tonight. I got caught up being an extra in a film being shot here locally. I won't say what it is, but it had Ron Jeremy in it, and if you know who THAT is... you need to spend less time on those sites.

So back to my point (As if these posts EVER have those!): Can you entertain a crowd of people in a stage setting with JUST a deck of cards? Yes you can!! (Not yes YOU can, but it IS possible. Chances are you might be one of those who is the magic equivalent of someone who couldn't get laid in a female prison with a fist-full of pardons.) Now card in hand is NOT stage worthy. Neither is triumph or any of them knuckle busting effects you have worked so long and hard on just to end up with carpel tunnel and an impressive book collection. When it comes to magic on stage with cards, simplicity is your friend.

What effects might play well in that situation you ask? My two go-to tricks in a pinch (Or goose) are mouth card and cards to pocket. Card in Mouth has inherent humor as anything done with the mandible area tends to be funny. (If you are working a bar crowd, the zipper is the same way.) Cards to pocket, (where the whole deck ends up in your empty pocket save for the one they selected), also has built in humor. It builds as the cards just keep coming from the previously shown empty area. With the right drunk audience member and a deck of cards you can create something that no sleight of hand move will ever accomplish... you can actually be... dare I say it.. entertaining!!

These are not the ONLY ones obviously. They are however two simple effects that always tend to please and garner laughs. (I say always, but there is some ass klown out there who I am sure is the exemption to EVERY rule) Mind you, with the right presentation and patter ANY effect can be entertaining. The best thing to do is find a trick that leaves the mechanics on the sidelines for a bit and allow your personality and improv skills to shine thru.

Don't you wish they sold canned off beat and improv on a stick?

Bizzaro.

I want you monkeys to see this and learn a lesson once and for all.


Did you see that? It was a Miser's Dream effect... done silent.... done different. Watch where and how he gets the laughs AND how he gets the magic done. Just because you may know the method, does that make it any less effective? No. Just because it's a plot device you are familiar with, does it make it any less entertaining? No. Is it simple and effective? YES!!

How many of you out there think you could do something like this? Magic, entertaining, AND engaging? Put yer damn hand down, it was a rhetorical question. This video is a prime example on how magic can be fun, easy, and most importantly, MAGICAL!!

Now go home and study because I expect a 3 page report on why you suck!! Don't forget to use the Firefox Spell checker. Otherwise you might mispell a word like rhetorical.

I know where you live....

Bizzaro.

Another contest?

Sure why not? I have a new effect I have been toying with (It is a card effect, but a damn good one) and if you want to be the lucky mofo to know how it works WAY before I tell anyone else about it, then you have to riddle me this Batman: What did I procure today (or whatever day you read this) that anyone who knows me would never believe I would EVER get?

You are not allowed to answer if you already know. The only hint you get is that it's not a magic effect.

Update: Here is footage of the effect I am working on.


It's made of Goesfast_TM.

Bizzaro.

Let's do the time warp again...

Lost in time... and lost in space: Remember one of the days during our guest week when we didn't have a column? Well it turns out someone with a time sphere (Stolen from Rip Hunter, and if you know who that is you need to get out more.) went into the future and stole this post right out of my journal and then altered reality so we just THOUGHT it never existed.

Well after a climactic battle with the Flat Screen Monitor, we have recovered said post brought to you by none other than Justin Robert Young over at itricks.com The best part is it kind of correlates into a post I made previously. It all makes sense now!!!!

--------------------------------------------

There is a wise saying going around the internet these days: content is king.

Believe me, it’s relevant. It’s incredibly relevant. In fact, it’s tattoo-it-on-your-mouse-hand-so-you-have-to-look-at-it-before-
you-think-about-clicking-the-“publish”-button relevant.

It means that if you’re going to generate a web presence, you need to think long and hard about what your page is for and why it’s there. Who is going to read this and what would be the best experience for them.

When it comes to the web, you are not designing a house, where you can be comfortable. In reality, you’re designing an amusement park with entrances, exits, monorails, food stands and secret subterranean detention facilities all strategically placed to make sure your audience sees what you want them to, which in turn is hopefully what they want to see.

I am not going to tell you what is good content and bad, that is too big a topic. Rather, I am begging you to get out of its way.

So… does this have anything to do with magic?

Yes it does. Thanks for asking.

Too many sites for magicians try to do too much. Here are my press clippings, here is how to book me, here is my blog, here is a photo of my 4 year old punching a fish. And that’s just the home page.

Then there are sites that ask you as you enter: are you a prospective gig or a magician? At which point, both readerships are forced to go through one more step before you even BEGIN to give them content they MIGHT find relevant.

Both of these have one thing in common. They don’t know which way to tell the reader to go. Imagine if you pulled onto the highway looking for a sign to tell you how to get to an exit and when you came across one it read "I don’t know, you pick." Every second a reader doesn’t get what they want is another second they are thinking about going somewhere else to find it.

My suggestion? Compartmentalize. Your booking site should be a slick tour through your accomplishments with contact information readily available to take advantage of as soon as they are convinced and that alone. Your site for magicians should cater to magicians and them alone, look at your own online experience and think about what you like and more importantly what you hate. Build the experience around that but never stop thinking like the reader. This also means you should have separate URLs for each, to eliminate distraction as much as possible.

As for the picture of your fish-punching four year old? That scaly thug had it coming, leave it on the front.

So many words.... None of them good.

Rocks fall... everyone dies.

Bizzaro.

Shiny captain...

So I thought it was a time for change. A time for peace, a time for... sorry, got lost in song there for a second.

With the customizations option that this site implemented about ooooh, a year+ ago, I figured it was time to take full advantage of it like yer prom date after you slipped that GHB in her drink.

To spice things up, I'm even willing to let you give me YOUR opinion... sort of. If you look to your right there is a poll I have posted so you can tell me if you like the new layout. If this is yer first time here, I even made an option for you so yah dun feel left out.

Hey this might be a good time to offer up some advice regarding magic websites. Two things. Have content and change it from time to time. The more stuff there is to see and do on yer site, the longer they will stay and the longer YOU stay in their memory. Add stuff, take away things, make light of the updates you make from time to time so people will KNOW something is going on.

You ever notice that when a band is working on a new album, they change their site to reflect that new body of work or the album art itself? Why not do that with yer magic site. If you get new promo photos done, or move in a new direction, let your site reflect that. This also falls under the category of content and ways to keep people coming back to your site.

Also, I want to add, for those do it yourself folks, learn the "Target="_Blank" tag. This will help prevent people from navigating away from your page and forgetting to come back. It opens links in a new window. Very handy for anything you link to off-site.

Remember: Your site must stay in their sight...

Bizzaro.

Rhime of the ancient stage magician...

I doubt Iron Maiden will ever cover this, but as well you know, stage magic has taken it in the ass in the last decade. (Tho' oddly enuff, the stage performances at WMS were better than the close-up in my humble but jaded opinion.) There are still some people out there fighting the good fight.

It's rare someone offers advice on theatrical or stage magic. Much like creativity, it's something you have to do.. and do.. and do.. and do over again before you find yer groove thang. However, there is nothing with being prepared for battle by letting others who have been there before you offer up some helpful hints.

Big Daddy Cool has been around for some time out in the musical hills of Tennessee. I can't fault a guy who likes stylish suits and swing music. With that in mind, on his blog of ooey gooey-ness, he is offering up a chapter a month of his book, Theatrical Magic. Advice from someone who has been working it. The ups and downs. The ins and outs. The to and fro. The yin and yang. The Vin And the Diesel.... um.. I think I ran out of things to say.

Regardless, if you want to read more than a chapter a month, he has a way to pick up the whole shiny shebang in one handy dandy little package. So go buy.. er.. by and give your head something to chew on.

It's hungry...

Bizzaro.

Curses, Saran Wrapped Again!!

"I don't like my language Watered down." - Ani DiFranco

I was discussing the use of expletives in performance the other day with a friend who has developed a new act of a disgruntled birthday party performer. In the earliest incarnation, the character cussed up a storm for the sake of a fallback almost. We both agreed that they shouldn't cuss at all except every so often. It is my firm belief that a well placed explfuckitive can be very funny.

See?

There are people who view this world as a crude place. Funny thing is, it always has been, and it's been WAY worse in the past. People are more polite now than they were back 100 years ago. Ever watch Deadwood? Yah me either. However, there are still those who have been told certain words are bad. Without researching where they come from, what they initially meant, or anything of that nature. We are told a word is bad as a kid and thus perpetuate this silly myth. As magicians we know all too well that words only have the power that we ourselvs put into them thru belief. Just as someone might be offended by the word crap (And ban you from a magic message board), you could easily be offended by someone uttering "Rutabaga". Hell there are some stupid twats who don't read this journal cuz' I say things like Asshat. In truth, I'm glad. I wouldn't wanna party with those people anyway. CLEAN CUP, CLEAN CUP!! MOVE DOWN, MOVE DOWN!!

Any performer, especially any one over the age of 40, who is worth their SALT has a mouth like sailor. You'd never know it because they are professionals and can plaster on that smile and do 5 kids shows in a day. You get them in a group of their peers, they say stuff you would never believe. This goes for the females too. I would rather spend an afternoon with a real entertainer than someone who thinks their whole life needs to be an edit.

This subject is like any other on this planet. Everyone has their opinion and they are entitled to it. There is no right or wrong answer, just groups of people who believe there is one. To end this silly tirade, just remember to be yourself and if it's how you are... don't apologize to anyone who you don't respect who gets offended. However, you should ALWAYS use professional discretion if you ant to be viewed as a professional. Just remember, we can't sugar coat the world...

we'd eventually get sick of the taste.

Bizzaro.