Reminders...

Hey there my friendly neighborhood smappdoodles! I have not stopped posting just been busy lately. I have some posts brewing in my skull but for now I leave you with some required reading.

Just replace the word cartoonist with magician.

Bizzaro.'s Guide to Running Your Own Music

I have been sitting on this for a while mainly because I was waiting for the newest version of an app I was helping Beta Test come out. That's right. I was helping to make something better and I was doing it FOR YOU! (and myself as well)

Let me tell you how nice and liberating it is to be able to run your own music without having to deal with inept techies who can't seem to understand the complexities of "pause" and "un-pause".

There are a myriad of options for running music from your pocket. They range into the thousands of dollars area to the low hundreds. A very popular one is the Show Cues App. However if you are broke (or cheap) then 90$ for an app seems like quite a bit. 

If you think that's not pricey enough, you can go the Media Star route. (The most modern version of the much coveted MP3 tech) This one is pretty swank as it can control your lighting and whatnot as well. 

However, if you are like me and just need some fades, pauses, and other random sundry features let me tell you what I have got goin' on in my pants.

Remote Broadcast

If you JUST need to start and stop music your first stop is the iJet remote control. (well that and an ipod type device.) Now before we go any further, let me set a few things about the iJet straight. You will see or hear some people bitchin' about how it doesn't work right. The fault is actually on both sides. 

The iJet buttons don't work if you just quickly press them. This is by design so it can't accidentally go off in your pocket. You have to hold the button down for about half a second. The problem is that I have found this information nowhere in the documentation. You just kind of have to "discover" that for yourself. So it's a mix of operator error and manufacturer omission. Once you are armed with this information, it makes the whole set-up work fine.

One of the cool things about the iJet for me is the fact you can tether up to 7 remotes to one device. If you are a weird anal retentive artist type like me and want to activate your music while holding a prop and not have to go to your pocket this is a great thing.

Speaking of remotes in your pocket, let me tell you about an old tried and true trick. If you glue some tiny fake costume jewels to the play button (and any other button you plan to use a lot) you can easily activate it from the outside of your pockets.

Go Go Gadget Go Button app!

If you need something a little more stout than just the default ipod playlists then I highly recommend an app called Go Button. It's much cheaper than the aforementioned options and has recently been updated with a much better functionality than it's first iteration. It's also the program I have been helping to beta test. Many of the features it was missing in version 1 have been suggested and implemented making it a much more complete show cue interface. One of my favorite features is the ability to customize your remote button's functions.

It also let's you loop, fade, and edit songs. Like any show cue program you can layer music tracks and other various helpful commands. For self-run music it's quite handy especially now.

(For those of you who just want to have your own sound person running your music you can use this for that too or use free programs like This One to run your music and sound effects.)

In Contusion...

You have many options to help run your music yourself. If you need it, drop the hammer on the expensive ones. If you are like me and have 40-50$ laying around to commit to such a project you can't go terribly wrong with iJet and Go Button. There will always be naysayers to every solution. It's up to you to decide for yourself by being a smart consumer. Listen to your heart...

and me.

Abandon ship!

 

Something a friend of mine did...

Those that don't...

This goes out to all of you who are frustrated about being passed over, overlooked, or otherwise looked down on because you are trying to do something that is outside the "norm" in the entertainment business.

Most of the time the people who are in power are there because they spent their time and energy to get there. If they had any talent or propensity for being a good performer they would not be hiring other acts that THEY deem worthy.

It's like film/music/theater critics. usually they think they know all about a subject because they went to school for it, studied it, or tried it and could not succeed so now they are an "authority". Of course sometimes people who actually know their shit get put into place to wield said power, but they usually do not do so on their own volition.

So just remember, those people who snub you because you don't fit in their "box", it may not be you (it could be but that's another post entirely). Just be patient. Your day will come.

And one day those people will be dead.

You know what?

I couldn't have said it better myself...

Table for one?

You know what looks like crap? A guy with a tiny table on a HUGE stage. The table is already kinda small but performing it on a huge empty stage makes it look even smaller.

Just something I noticed.

I'm over the underground...

Dear magicians,

You really can't call yourself "underground" if you release product to the masses. You just sound like an idiot if you do. We don't have an underground anymore really. The moment you put something online for everyone to see that's it you're done. You want to be a hipster underground, then only show people stuff in person. That's it. Nuff' said.

Sincerely,
the mngmt.

Retro Fitting?

I have a friend who is trying to learn some magic to add to her collection of skills. She has some friends who are trying to teach her how to do a Biddle count. This kind of shit confounds me. Not that they are trying to teach a beginner an upper-intermediate  sleight. It's the fact that we, as magicians, are still trying to teach people shit from books written in the early 1900's. For fuck's sake Expert at the Card Table was written in 1902!!

We are telling people to learn from books that have the phrase "Borrow a gentleman's pocket handkerchief and bowler hat".

There have been great advancements on the techniques shown in those books. I'm not even talking about DVDs but OTHER BOOKS! I know magicians are behind the times usually but this is ridiculous.

When someone asks me for a book to start someone out with you know what I tell them? The Mark Wilson Course. (Not the small pocket version but the thick ass phone book looking thing) Sure it was written in the '70s but at least it's more current than Royal Road or Scarne.

I'm fine with people liking the books, getting material from them, etc but STOP trying to push your religion on others who are first starting out. Sure you should learn the basics but there are easier ways to acclimate them to that kind of stuff in today's world.

Hell the Klutz book of magic is a good book...

Reaction Time

Let me put something out there in the ether: Just because it gets reactions doesn't mean it's good.

I could strangle people in the street naked and get a reaction. Doesn't mean people like it. I am sick of hearing performers trying to validate an act, joke, or effect-for-sale with the "reaction" argument. Outside of magic, you can get a reaction from a simple false transfer with a coin. Doesn't mean I am gonna sell it on a DVD for 20$.

We fool ourselves into thinking reaction is the litmus test of how good or bad something is. Sometimes NO reaction is better because that means you fried them so hard they can't think or move. It's kinda like after sex when you... sorry forgot who I was talking to. It's like in D &D when you roll a natural 20.

A lot of comedians get nervous polite laughter and assume they wrote a good joke when in reality their line about sleeping with their sister came off less like a joke and more like a confession. The same thing happens in magic. People applaud by habit. Do enough shows you will know the good reactions from the bad.

So the next time you have an effect you wanna sell or defend because you got people on camera cussing or ma and pa six-pack are impressed at your local Wal-mart step back and write yourself a reality check.

Maybe it's not just you.

Airheads...

I'm pretty sure magicians are the only ones who think that levitating a balloon, bubble, or bird is magic.

Want proof? Ok. Overheard at a magic convention show while watching a performer do a levitating bubble trick:
Magician: "Isn't that cool?"
Magician's Wife: "Umm.. no shit. Bubbles float."

Draw your own conclusions.

Let the right ones in...

Let me tell you a little something about myself: I am very critical of my own performances. I am always looking for ways to improve my material. Even if it's something as simple as a cosmetic change on a prop or a look or gesture.

As I have mentioned in the past, the secret to being a better performer is to give a damn. If you care you'll work on something until you are content with it. An act or performance can never be done. There is always something to improve.

The question is how do you find those improvements? Simple. Go out and effin' perform!! The more you sail the boat, the more leaks you will find. The more arrows you fire the better your aim will be. The more cats you shave the umm... furrier your.. uh.. pants will get.... (They can't all be gold).

My point is every performance is a learning experience IF YOU LET IT. Some people just perform, collect their check, and go home. Every time you perform something is different. Something is better or worse. Something can be fixed. You have to pay attention to it tho' You must be like skynet and become self-aware! Don't be too lazy either. Be proactive! (I don't mean the acne medication either) If you can't get to it right away, make a note of it. Every cell phone has a way to make notes. Take advantage of that!

The more you perform, the more chances you have to fix things. The more you fix, the better your act will get. The better your act is the happier you (and everyone who watches you) will be. So the next time you see me perform just know that afterward backstage I will be taking stock of everything that just occurred...

and possibly crying.

Trailer hitch...

More and more I have been seeing magicians disgruntled at misleading trailers or effects making claims that, like a hooker with beer flavored nipples, might be too good to be true.

Some have taken a pro-active approach to call some companies and performers on their BS while others merely sit on forums and complain. A recent post about ANOTHER post elsewhere suggested magicians are cheap bastards (and they are) and if they figure out an effect from the trailer they won't buy it because the EFFECT is the important factor not the handling. Due to that fact trick trailers are having to be "faked" in spots to prevent said cheap-assedness from occurring.

My personal belief is that if your effect isn't good enough to hold up on camera without some tweaking then maybe you need to work on it some more or not put it out at all. Anyone who has been reading this journal the last ten years (Holy crap it's almost been ten years hasn't it?) knows that I will call attention to fake demos. I haven't had to do it as much because others have taken up the task as well and tend to get to it before I do which is great!

However, the fact it still happens just goes to say a lot about our profession. The biggest problem of course is magicians suffer from one inherent flaw... we're still only human. We like to get away with things when we think we can and when we're caught we don't apologize for inconveniencing anyone... it's because we are sorry for getting caught.

Mind you some people straight up refuse to admit to shinanigans when busted but ultimately the reputation damage has been done. Magicians People will bitch about anything given half the chance, but when you know that you can limit that percentage by just doing a little thinking....

and that might be where the fault lies.

Et tu Star Trek?

I was just watching an old episode of Deep Space 9 (don't judge me) and as usual TV has to go and poke fun at magic with lines like this: "Ah, he sounds like the right type. Painfully shy, introverted, a slight lack of confidence, just the kind of person who might want to dazzle the world with his magical abilities"

I'm not going to argue with it but do you see what we're up against... and this was the 90's! It still goes on. We are seen as jokes, hence box office flops like Burt Wonderstone. I doubt our profession will ever return to what it was at it's height (before TV radio and electricity) but there has to be something we can do so shows like Arrested Development stop poking fun at us as a whole...

Regardless of how painfully funny it is.

A little plug....

So recently I added a news feed to my storefront. I've got a poll up about a possible new product right now so if you have a second go take a look.

While I have you here I wanna talk about magic products. In the last year I was working with a couple companies to release a few products for various reasons. The main one was to see what it's like. It was... interesting to say the least.

Regardless, I realized something along the way to here. We see a lot of guys in magic who seem to only make their living creating and selling (at times mediocre) magic effects. They flood the market with whatever leaks out of their ears. While some of it has merit they are seldom fully formed ideas and need more work that just a webcam audience.

This led me to the revelation that if you release too much it ceases to become special.

Magic companies fall prey to this too. They pump out other people's tricks at an alarming rate and therefore the items that could have a very long life in the sun only briefly get to bask in the light before they get buried under a deluge of crap. Thus I have become very careful once again about what I put into the hands of others. I want to know if it's something they actually want or would like, not purchase as an impulse only to die a slow horrible death in the dungeon of unwanted magic effects (ie: a virgin's er... magician's magic drawer).

I advise any of you reading this who want to release product to heed my words. Don't let your babies grow up to be magical landfill...

or cowboys.

Learn from your mistakes...

Every so often a new product pops up in magic making claims that it simulate something that is "too hard" to do. You know where most of these products end up? Magician Limbo. They spend the rest of their days being bought, sold and/or traded at magic auctions or on websites. Eventually they come to rest in the back of a closet or buried under other regretful magic purchases in a drawer soaking in the tears of yet another hobbyist.

Why not save yourself the grief and the next time some shiny new toy claims it "makes you a pro without learning the skill" just go and learn the damn skill? Sure it might take longer but it's more gratifying, far more impromptu usually and it costs you nothing but your time (time you usually spend bitching on magic forums anyway).

Sure there will be that handful of guys who will effectively utilize this wonder gimmick and it might even be their gateway drug to learning the real deal but those mythical dedicated people are few and far between. Learning some actual moves won't kill you I swear...

And if does no one will know.

Supporting my weight...

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member" - Groucho Marx

Apparently the SAM has decided they want to get 2400 likes on their new FB page in the next 24 hours. Some say it's too little too late. I say why support an organization that doesn't support you?

There are a ton of magic organizations that want your money. If these groups have actually contributed to your magic life/ career in any positive way then by all means give them your moolah. However if you have been nothing but rejected and seen other others ignored by these groups due to their close minded good old boys club elitist mentality then why would you bother?

I am sure they would tell you it's for the good of the magic community. That's great but what if you shy away from the magic community or vice versa. Organizations are not for everyone (tho' they will tell you they are) and some come to this realization too late and after the damage is done.

I also understand some people love magic so blindly that they want to be involved in anyway they can to help magic. There are those who truly want to take these groups out of the dark ages but the problem is most of them are run by people who are between the ages of 80 and death. Until they are out of the picture younger guys with innovative ideas get pushed to the side, squeezed out, or ignored.

There is a dark side to the magic world and dammit if I have to be the one lone voice to point it out and take the brunt of their ire for the rest of you so be it.

Thankfully I am not alone.

Prose and cons...

Dear magicians,

Reciting or performing over the recorded track of a poem you did not write does not make you creative or unique... especially if you are doing it to gypsy thread.

That ship has sailed.

Thanx,
The Mngmnt.

Wizard battle?

I hope none of you are friends with these people.

(Please note: this is actually a parody website and, Flying Spaghetti Monster willing, people like this don't really exist.)

Weirdos...

 It's what's for dinner.

Damn that rap music...

So when I was younger and older magicians tried to give me "advice" such as "You can't wear that outfit, do that kind of magic, why not do something less weird etc" I always brushed them off. It wasn't because I didn't think they were right, but I knew that wasn't right for ME.

So it amuses me when I see younger magicians bite back at other magicians online when they put up a photo or video and they start getting said "advice" from those of us who have been in the business for a long time.

One such kid on a FB group started getting messed with for his performing outfit. I'm not one to talk about what one wears onstage because I fought long and hard to get what I like to wear to an acceptable level. However, today's youth seem to be adopting the look of "Justin Bieber on his day off getting high on a  friend's couch".

It's ok to dress in a modern style but you want to look better than your audience. My friend used to say, "You want to be the best dressed or most noticeably dressed in the room" This doesn't mean Versace but it doesn't mean Wal-mart either. I can't stress this enough to younger performers: LOOK LIKE A PERFORMER!

If you want to be taken seriously by anyone wanting to hire you for something other than house parties then find a look you like but find something (or have it made) that isn't like anything everyone else is wearing. Personally I am sick of the suit coat over T-shirt look. It's lazy not hip and not very original now. Don't believe me Google "College Magicians". I don't care how clever your shirt is, stop it!

Lastly, I know the hipster look is in right now but if I see one more kid dressing like This performing magic I am lighting your beanie on fire. I'm not kidding. I'm crazy...

I'll do it.