He's not heavy, he's my table...

Ok I want to have a very Frank discussion. It's about Losander's floating table. I know you do it. Don't try to hide it. It's ok, I know it's easy, amazing, and readily accessible. I know you don't think you need to do anything with it right out of the box and that it seems to be one of those "self-working" effects you hear so much about on the news nowadays.

I have some notes...

I'm not going to start out by saying, "Stop doing it!!!" (I'm going to end that way) However I would like to point out that I am sick of seeing it done with no kind of thinking behind it or customization. The two best FT I have seen are done by the guy who created it and Dan Sperry. Losander because, well he invented it, and Sperry because he treats the table like it's a cumbersome heavy object, made it match his look and gave it his own motivation. (Also he does the turn around move off to the side which looks less awkward)

So how do we fix yours? Well we can start with the easy stuff. The look. I'm not saying you should revamp the paint job (even though that wouldn't hurt). All it would really take is to have the table cloth remade to match your own personal look. Take it to someone who knows how to sew and have it recreated in a fabric that matches the rest of your props.

Speaking of the rest of your props, if you have the table on stage with a bunch of other tables you better have a DAMN GOOD EXCUSE as to why you are not floating those other tables too. Don't just pull the table out and do it without motivation.

Now here is something that will take a bit more effort on your part. Go move a HEAVY table for once in your life. The magic in the table, much like the original zombie ball, is in the fact the object is cumbersome and heavy. Put some tension in your arms when you need to pick it up. When you scoot it across the floor, use your foot to push the bottom and well as your hands for the top. This is how weighty objects operate, especially top heavy ones.

Many of these simple yet difficult tips will help make your floating table that much better. (You know aside from the obvious ones like make up your own routine, learn how to float it straight up and not at an angle, etc) Also don't EVER buy a knock off from China. I don't care how cheap you can get it. You get what you pay for.

Oh by the way, JUST STOP DOING THE DAMN THING!!!