Cradle to the grave...

For those who have been reading this for the last couple years you have seen me post up videos by a channel called "Every Frame a Painting".

Well that channel has finally reached it's crescendo and I wanted to mark it's passing with a post here. I feel it's related because of the reasons it started, the way they approached it and why they quit. It speaks to other branches of entertainment and how some of us might feel at any given time.

For those who are TL;DR people, let me just put a line from the essay here:

"For days and days, he keeps trying to draw this plane, but nothing meets his satisfaction. Eventually, he realizes that he’s spent too much time on it. So he hands the plane off to another animator, and he moves on to something else.

For me and for Tony, this clip is extremely reassuring. If Miyazaki — the world’s greatest living animator — can admit defeat after trying his best, then it’s okay for everyone else. If he can let go, then so can we."

To boldly not go away...

 Face it everyone. Internet magic is not going away.

It's time to stop bitching and embrace it. Instead of placing no value on it or talking down about it, let's help try to make it more palatable. Magic companies are still trying to sell this kind of magic like it's workable and practical. At some point they are going to have to create a new category. Right next to "Stage" and "Close-up" there needs to be a section titled "For Camera Only". You might think that sucks but it's more honest and at least you know what you are getting now. I'm looking at you Penguin and Murphy's.

It's not just the companies, it's the people releasing the magic as well. Be honest and upfront. If it only looks good from one angle at a particular time of day or only indoors in a dimly lit bar, let people know. Embrace your new genre and be a pioneer. Be the Steve Jobs of internet magic releases!

This will innovate magic... but only from this one angle.

There is a reason youth does not listen to age. If everyone "respected their elders" and didn't rebel against their "teachings" then we'd all still be churning butter and doing double undercuts. (one of those might be an extreme example)

So who will step up first? Will it be the magic companies or will it be the producers? A few have already dabbled in it and embraced this new concept. Sansminds released an effect and in the trailer specified it was best for their internet or promo video magic. If you are still one of the people clinging to the old ways you need to change with he times or hurry up and die. You're either in or in the way.

This in no way means I am endorsing NOT  releasing good practical real-world magic. We still need that for those who are brave enough to leave their house and want to make a living BUT it's time to acknowledge this is where we all stand and we must stand together.

Next time I will talk about people who expose magic on Youtube and the best places in the Las Vegas desert to bury their bodies.

Listen here fancypants...

We live in a weird climate currently. People are getting more "sensitive" each year and it's getting harder for an adult entertainer to do their job. I understand you need to change with the times but the problem I have is when this sensitivity bleeds over from places it has no business even being part of the discussion.

If you are a gospel/birthday party/family entertainer that ONLY does that style of magic then you need to stay the fuck out of the business of others who work comedy clubs/adult parties/nightclubs/bars/strip clubs/etc. Don't go around saying "I think this trick or style of joke is crass and over the line and blah blah blah". Many of these things you dislike are for an ADULT audience. Such as comedy clubs where the people who go expect a little different level of humor than your shitty hippity hop rabbits routine.

Those guys whose material you bash don't walk around telling you how to not get caught touching kids with your "wand" so don't go around being all high and mighty about what you don't like. The magic world doesn't revolve around you. If it comes up in conversation, then you can talk about and say you don't like it. Until then, keep your yap shut and stop filling the internet up with your "the entertainment world revolves around me" bullshit.

Happy Holidays.

They pull me back in again...

Yesterday I did something I try not to engage in often but since it pertained to the last post I decided to dip my toe in and...

On one of the FB magic groups This got posted. For those of you too lazy to watch it, it shows one of the previously mentioned individuals coaching his audience to over-react. To say it was met with dismay would be like saying Marlow and Vernon didn't "get along".

What really rips my sponge balls is the fact that there are magicians DEFENDING THIS! The problem is every single metaphor and example they give doesn't align because THERE HAS NEVER BEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN MAGIC. Any example you throw at me I will gladly find fault with and explain why it doesn't work as a comparison.

The reason there is no precedent for this is because, as I have stated before, the internet is a new frontier. No one knows exactly what will work until it does and then once that ground has been raped for money and fame people move on to find the next thing that will get them noticed. It's because of this I have come to the conclusion that internet magic is it's own animal separate from stage, close-up and even TV.

What's worse is when seasoned pros say things like this, "He's doing well for himself AND he is getting people interested in Magic." Yah great. he is getting more kids who think it's ok to do this shit interested in magic who won't work or contribute to the art. Greeeeeat. Just what our world needs, more crappy magicians. Yaaaaaaay.

"Oh but they're young. leave em alone." you say? In any other job is this an excuse? Oh he keeps fucking up your fast food order? It's ok he's young. She got your Starbucks coffee incorrect? She's just young. Please. When that happens, you people go apeshit and rip those "kids" a new asshole. You don't get to pick and choose your excuses (even tho' we all do).

I had a conversation with a magician friend who has done a lot of TV and he takes issue with all of this because if it becomes the norm, then TV producers will expect these reactions and when it's explained all of it's fake they will respond with "Well why don't we just do that then?". If this becomes a thing it could affect all of us in front of AND behind the camera who actually work for a living.

But hey, in this world what could possibly go wrong?

State of the union...

First listen to this Bad Religion song to get you in the right mindset...

I don't know how many of you keep up with what is current in the magic world. Not necessarily tricks, but who is up and coming and what they are doing. If not you are likely blissful in your ignorance. If you are like me and pay WAY too much attention to our little community then you too might be perturbed by the growing trends you see.

A few days ago I posted this on my twitter:

No one wants to create magic anymore, they just want to make fame.

— Bizzaro Galore (@smappdooda) August 3, 2017

(Aren't I #@$*ing clever?)
The reason for that post is that I see far too many magicians who are making magic videos with no substance or effort in an attempt to sell a product or gain "followers". It's usually the younger guys too because the older crowd is too busy working and was brought up believing magic is an art and a job you work at. The issue is becoming these kids want to be famous for nothing like many other "celebrities" the general populace glorify. It bothers me because I don't want to see my magic watered down and exploited for purely personal gain.

I am sure if you ask anyone I am speaking of they will justify it to others (and themselves) that they are still "entertaining" people and isn't that the goal? I know people who agree with this and their methods. At the end of the day it's a taste preference but what they are doing leaves a bad taste in my mouth and here is why: it seemingly spits in the face of those who work hard to develop a skill and treat magic as an "art".

Let me show you an example:

"But that's just one guy" I hear you cry. Ok then how about this one?

Ooooor this one?

(It's like they are making these videos in a factory or something? They are all the same!)

For those of you in the know, you might already be furious watching this. 90% of the reactions in these video are clearly fake and stooged. Does the average Duck Dynasty watching Facebook user know this? Hell no. However we have inside knowledge and, as many of you know, we judge others HARSHLY for stuff like this. There are those of us who spend months, maybe even YEARS, to perfect something so it can be done in similar ways under live fire and get genuine reactions. This kind of stuff tells others it's ok to ignore all of that and just "fake it til' you make it".

Where did this kind of silliness start you ask? Hard to tell but let's point the finger at David Blaine for now shall we? Let me preface this with the fact that, yes ol' DC used camera trickery and set up stuff BUT he did it on such a grand scale no one thought they could just run out and do it without a ton of money and production. Then along came Blaine in a T-shirt and faked a levitation and thus set a precedent. Flash forward and you got guys like Criss Fishing Rod who use After Effects and green screen to create "magic".

I am sure these guys' hearts are in the right place however their brains are clearly focused on fame. I understand people have different goals in life but I sure as shit am allowed not to like their methods for achieving them. The lay public doesn't know the difference either and by the time a booking agent finds out they can't deliver what they show, it's too late.

I know it's not smart to point fingers and yell about things you don't care for because then people will look at it and some will get the wrong idea but in this case examples need to be seen to be understood. So if you are watching these videos and thinking, "That's a great idea! I'm going to start doing that!", then I hope you die in a fire think twice about it. When you crash and burn and have to get a real job, you will get no sympathy from the rest of the magic community. However, if you could give a fuck less about the magic community, then you are probably halfway there as it is.

Here's to homogenization.

If you won't listen to me...

At least listen to Alice Cooper.

Repeat after me...

Hey magicians, please stop using the phrase, "Just keep repeating over and over in your head (insert card or whatever here)" It's a shitty and lazy way to reveal something, it has no magic moment, no panache, and I have seen it have less impact than an entire season of Criss Angel specials.

I don't know who started this idea, but it needs to STOP! I have seen spectators just stare blankly at a magician who revealed a card this way.

"I'm sorry did you say something? I stopped paying attention 10 minutes ago."

The worst part is, it shows a lack of creativity or originality on your part. If you think it's cute or magical you are wrong. I have seen far too many shitty performers use this as their quick go-to thing. I have never seen ANYONE freak out about it. They usually just sit there confused as if nothing happened. (I am sure someone out there has a story about someone losing their shit and running into traffic over it but I bet you those are some rare ol' times)

So if you engage in this kind of fuckery, stop it and flex your brain a bit to try something else.

Something like This perhaps?

Sincerely yours...

Dear magicians,

Stop making up stories about your relatives that aren't true. Unless they actually happened, it's an insincere lie you are telling your audience and you REEK of it. It's also hacky as shit. It's like saying you are going to beat Houdini's "record" for escaping a strait jacket. You're better than that and if you're not... just stop.

The Mngmnt

Bridge and tunnel magicians...

"The creation of content is not a hobby. It is a profession." - Jean-Claude Junker

I found this quote while reading an article about the creators of Spinal Tap seeking remuneration for their work in the extremely shady industry of film and music.

For those of us who take it very seriously, creating magic is indeed a profession that borders on the obsessive. There are a number of things that take away what some of us spend a lot of time on.

• FAKE! - A lot of the younger and unlearned magi apparently just assume something is camera edits when it's "too good" and they can't figure it out. When you do this you belittle the hard work many of us do to make it look that good. 
• Actual Fakes - They have good reason to yell fake tho'. There are people like Zack King who (obviously) use video editing tricks to make magical things happen. However there are also people who more subtly use After Effects to create seemingly impossible tricks and don't own up to it. Those people are jag offs who will never escape their instagram account.
• Weekend Warriors - Then there's THESE assholes. People who create magic for the sake of magic... and a paycheck. They are not making magic for the art. Oh I am sure they THINK they are but what they really are doing is looking for a way to get paid because A: they are terrible with money and 2: don't actually perform for real people and couldn't entertain a thought let alone a group of people.

It's these last ones that make me the most mad. They want money and notoriety and think releasing magic tricks will accomplish that because a few other slugs managed to do it. Every time they put out some piece of  lackluster crap tied together with elastic and magnets, they cover up the good stuff other real creators and performers have released.

Obviously the ones who dig through the mire to find the gold are the ones who will likely triumph but it's getting harder and harder every day because of these "creators" foisting their hobbies on the actual professionals. It also discourages better stuff from being produced as it's not monetarily worth the effort because a gem will soon be obscured by shit.

Fuckin' tourists...

Watch your head...

But first, watch this video.



Consider every live action mixed with animation movie you have seen in the last 20 or so years. Roger Rabbit is hands down the best. No argument. To be fair, I can forgive Cool World because it was quirky from the get go.

This video makes a valid point and it's something I have been talking about for years. When you do something for the love of the craft and because you care enough to make something great, it shows. Giving a damn is the biggest secret to creating amazing art. It's the truly obsessed with the focus to detail that make things that stand out above the rest. (Tempered with other knowledge of course. Being brain damaged about certain subjects doth not guarantee success.)

So go ahead. Bump the lamp. Don't you want to be remembered for generations like Roger Rabbit?

Or would you rather be... Space Jam?

Sound Philes

Riding on the coat tails of yesterday's post about grumpy know-it-alls, let's talk about people who think there is only one path and that will be good enough to get them through life FOREVER.

I got into a... let's call it a discussion... on one of the FB magic groups about what's best to run your sound with and how. Some of you might recall my guide on running your own music for your shows. Well it seems some people would rather not have music at all if they don't have a sound man. This baffled me and I had to jump into the fray to understand where they were coming from.

There is a camp of people who (claim) to always work with a soundman and will pay for them to travel with them and run their music and say that is the ONLY way to go. These people have clearly not tried to make a living in the last decade or so as that is not always an option. What you pay out for a sound person could be almost the entire fee for a gig in some circumstances.

Obviously it's great if you work a venue that has someone else run your music for you. (Someone who is competent that is. You'd be surprised how many people don't understand the concept of "play" and "pause".) Sometimes it's just not feasible to have someone travel with you be it for lack of space or money.

What I told these "experts", who turned their nose up at the mere thought of running their own music from their pocket, was that they should learn to do it BOTH ways. If your sound guy/girl dies, gets sick, or just gets tired of your bullshit and quits, you are then left high and dry. If you have a solo system you have learned as a back-up you will never be in that position. It's similar to those who prefer to work only with a headset mic and get lost when forced to use a hand held. When you don't learn at least a little bit about the options you have to help run a smooth show, you will suffer and so will your audience.

So heed my advice people! Learn to run your own music but have a cue sheet in your bags for that lovely rare time you can bring along a sound person or the venue happens to have one that doesn't seem like they are from a work release mental patient program.

Like Scar said, "Be prepared!"

And we wonder why...

Why is it kids don't go to magic meetings or conventions as much as they used to? It's a mix of things. One of those reasons is they don't need those meet-ups to have meet-ups. With skype and facetime and other video medium they can share their creations immediately with each other. They don't have to wait a whole year to see and share what they have been working on. (Whether that's for the better or worse is a whole other post)

The other reason kids avoid these places are the grumpy old fucks who just want to dole out "advice" in the form of close minded rhetoric. Advice when delivered objectively is great. When it's delivered as law and nothing but this or that is right and you are wrong is not advice.

"Well how do they know that's gonna happen at a magic convention or meeting?", you ask? Simple. It's because they get this treatment online in the magic groups and forums. It happened to me. It happens to others.

A younger magician put out a utility device recently. It's not a bad piece of kit. Yes it bears some resemblance to some other gimmicks on the market but his is indeed different enough to justify it's existence. The problem comes in when the "experts" think something is similar to something else (even when it's not) and start saying shit like this:

"Be careful with that 100% claim.....any slight similarity puts it down to at least 90%."

"Has anybody NOT figured this out immediately?"

At this point they are just poking at the kid with sticks for no reason.

"But the lay people will want to examine the cards!" (Ah the mating call of the common amateur in the magic market place. The creator then explained he goes over how to have the cards handed out and examined and then got the following response...)

"Just because they don't ask doesn't mean anything other than you are too detached. You are cheating them out of a magical moment by leaving them with an unsolved puzzle. No more free lessons from me...get out your checkbook." 

Another "expert" decided to chime in with this:

"It is the magician that gets the (stronger) reaction, not the cards. I would love to meet you and prove my point. I can follow you with the two card Monte and get a stronger reaction than any of your four routines."

Dick move old man. The younger follows up with this:

"That's a bit harsh. You're basing your opinion on my skill as a perform off of a trailer. You've never seen me perform at a gig. To assume that you could easily get a stronger reaction is ignorant."

To which he gets THIS reply:

"Sorry. I wasn't talking about you as a performer but about the trick cards. (Nice backpedal there but you totally did.)  Makes me wonder why you still (7 years doing the trick) feel a need for trick gadgets?" (Wait didn't you just challenge this kid to a duel with 2 card monte which is a gimmick?)

As the final insult, after constantly comparing his gimmick to another one that is NOTHING like his, the younger magi put his foot down. The "wiser" guy replied with this:

"Yep, I was expecting a personal attack...it always happens with those who have no other retort." (It wasn't a personal attack by the way. Just being told he was wrong was enough to feel it was)

Why am I sharing the details of this you ask? It's because I don't want ANY of you to becomes these kind of people. I can already see the guys who are going to be these other people when they are in their 60s and 70s. They are pumped up full of ego and bitterness. They have "retired" for whatever reason and now ride a computer chair doling out advice (yes I recognize the irony of me typing that so shut up) in a world they haven't lived in for some time. 

This kind of stuff makes me mad and no one can/will speak up because you will get the same treatment. In the end, the worst offender of the two messaged the kid, called him a fool, and then blocked him. Sure would make me want to go to a place full of guys like that eh?

This is all I hear when I read stuff like this online

Plan Ahea...

When you do creative consulting it's not always about the tricks. From time to time I get asked to help with promotional material. Many times the performer is just too close to the material and can't see what is good versus what they are too proud of, which is usually everything.

Just because you can make something doesn't mean you know how to make it look pretty. Far too many magicians take their own promo material into their own hands and just make a mess of it. How many "professional" photos have you seen done in a badly lit living room? Ever tried to sit through an 8 minute promo video? How about websites that look like a blind person made them using a free wix template?

The Struggle is Real...

If you realize that you suck at something (And stop being a cheap ass) go to someone who knows what they are doing. Not only does this free you up to do what you are good at, but it also gets you actual results.

With all of that in mind, should you decide to get a new website done do yourself a favor and book a photoshoot with a good photographer too. You want to plan out your website instead of just lazily plugging in images and videos into a template. Get photos that are website specific that show off the look and feel of your show/ character. If you know what you are doing ahead of time, you can visualize what you need.

Pictures of you holding signs, or looking up or over at important information. In the end it looks more professional and thought out. There is a reason a rock band changes their website to match the aesthetic of their new album.

If you want meat, don't go to a baker.

Flip it over...

So I was watching an episode of NCIS (don't judge me) and there was a great line that got me thinking and thought I would share.

"Nobody posts their B-sides"

This is in reference to the internet and it's very true. People only put their BEST online. They try 50 times and pick the best version. (especially when it comes to magic trailers but don't get me started on that)

It got me thinking about all of the footage I have. How much of it is only "ok" and how much is good. Sometimes it's fine to show off some of our flaws. (So long as it doesn't expose anything obviously) In my circle, we sometimes talk about the difference between professionals and amateurs. One that I always bring up is amateurs won't talk about their bad shows but the pros wear them as a badge of honor. Don't be afraid to fail. You might learn something. About your magic and yourself.

With that in mind, here is something from one of my recent performances.

Leading the blind...

I have noticed the currently younger generation has something the older generation didn't. No it's not faster downloading porn. It's arrogance and ignorance.

I'm not saying it didn't exist in magic in the old days but it seems to be running more and more rampant. A lot of people know everything about nothing.

There is an article I read called "The Death of Expertise". I don't entirely disagree with it. There are far too many people who are experts on subjects they barely understand. It's like watching a leper give skin care tips.

Like the leper said to the prostitute...

What's worse is the rampant passing of information by the uninformed. We have amateurs teaching amateurs. People who don't know things teaching people who want to know things. It's breeding a new crop of, and I use the term lightly, magicians who can't perform. They can only create "new" magic that looks good on camera. They then go out and teach their wondrous miracle to people who don't know better and thus infecting the entire hive with misinformation. It's a never ending cycle.

Artists rendering of an upcoming magic convention in 2017

If you find yourself reading this and getting angry, you might be one of the ones who needs to take a step back and realize you could learn a thing or two. Put down your camera and cards and go learn how to actually perform in front of real people before you tell someone else how to do it poorly.

"It's better to know 4 things really well than 100 things badly" - Tom Mullica

   

Colorblind as a bat...

Can you remember a time before Sharpies? I mean, the company has existed since the 60s but they didn't really take off until the 90s for magic. I got my first (and only) Sharpie thru bill in 1997. It was basic black. However since then a myrid of basic and exotic colors have come out. Some guys have built an entire career using them...

Maybe these will distract you from my Ramsey Subtlety?

Color Match

If you have been performing for 20 years or 20 days, you have likely had someone sign something. If you are in the USA it was with a Sharpie. My questions is this: Was it the right color for the job?

Believe it or not, there are certain colors that you SHOULD be using when you have items signed. I'm not some marker racist, but color does matter.
 

• Blue: This color is our preferred go to for playing cards. Black and red just blend in and if it's a free choice it's a crap shoot. Blue will pop against any color, even court cards. 
• Red: Don't you EVER have an American bill signed with a black marker. It is impossible to see even from up close. Red is the way to go. It can be seen from a very far distance and gives you instant recognition.
• Black: For everything else. Black is good for things like balloons, coins, or other things with a good contrast.

Size DOES Matter

When you work anything other than close-up (and even then) you need the markings to be visible. By using the larger "Chisel tip" style markers, you increase the readability of the markings your helpers leave. Mac King has people sign a card with a HUGE marker.

This came with my Bowl-A-Rama but &$%# that trick!

It's the small details like this that come with performing, experimenting and caring about your audience and what they see/perceive.

Who are we to argue with Mac King?

Truth in advertising...

This might be the most honest and accurate shirt to represent the current generation of magicians I have ever seen.

Like a pin drop...

I wonder if magicians can hear the sound of an appearing metal cane. Do they think the loud sound of rapidly expanding spring steel is what magic sounds like when it's happening. I got news for you. If you can hear it, so can everyone else.

I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

There are ways to do it where it doesn't sound like a pterodactyl swooping out of the sky. There are (read: were) canes that used to be pretty damned silent but good luck finding those for a good price. You could use plastic but they usually look like crooked and wobbly. 

Personally I prefer the production out of a scarf like Shimada and Dimmare were oft to do. (If you don't know what I'm talking about Scott Cervine can show you.) 

So next time you want to fire of an appearing cane ask yourself, "Is this what magic sounds like or am I just fooling myself?" 

It's likely the latter.

The king's throne...

Here is a random idea I just thought of....

Put a mirror across from your toilet.

Not a full length one. There is no need to get that intimate while doing "paperwork". However something that sits about shoulder height and up can be beneficial. It's like having sex in a public place. You'll get used to it. (and there is less of a chance you'll get arrested)

This will help you in two ways:
I. you can work on your facial expressions which are very important when it comes to performing and conveying emotions. Far too many performers don't know what to do with their face. This will give you the chance to work on it.

II. It will get you more comfortable in awkward situations. If you can maintain eye and make faces at yourself with defecating, you can do most anything. Getting over those feelings of embarrassment are part and partial to being a good entertainer.

Besides, it's not like you're going anywhere...

Let's define the terms...

This shit right here makes me mad.


These companies are allowing half wits with half baked ideas to get an ego about being inventors and then they start touting themselves as such and then pump out MORE magic bile into the world.

Let me get something straight here. Just because you come up with some piddly ass magic trick it does NOT make you a "creator". It makes you someone with an idea.

Also being a "creator" doesn't make you a magician. If you can't perform your own creations you are just someone who makes stuff.

In my opinion, a creator does their due diligence. They research, they perfect, they make something the best it can be. What companies like Murphys are perpetrating is if you come up with some terrible idea they can help make it "marketable" thus making them more of the creators and the person who comes to them a kind of figurehead. "We did all the work to make this not suck but because we can't just cut this idiot out of the loop we have to put his name on it".

I don't care if you don't agree with me or think I am way off base. I am just sick of our profession being choked with mediocre magic and fevered egos who think they are somebody because a bunch of pre-pubescent humans think they are hot shit.

Obviously this doesn't go for EVERYONE. Some people are prolific creators. (Not necessarily GOOD ones) However in magic everyone wants to be on par with the people who have achieved legit "fame" for making something and magic companies keep enabling this to happen.

The urge to create is deep in our core and I understand that, but too many are creating for the wrong reason: money. If you create for yourself and your audience, the money will come but if you forgo those first steps you are going about it the wrong way.

There's enough terrible magic out there. We don't need sponsored posts on message boards encouraging more greed and terrible tricks.

Thanks Obama...

Avante Card...

Some magicians create magic for magicians. some create for the real world, and a few, create magic that skips madly between the two.

However, one trap I see a lot of guys falling into is trying to put some deep meaningful slant on card tricks. The problem is they aren't writers so their "script" comes off fake, forced, and flamingos (Sorry I needed a third word for the alliteration).

Non-magicians barely give a shit about magic as it is so hitting them with some heavy patter while doing a card trick can fall very flat. In a theater show it's usually fine. Hell some people have made a whole career out of it at this point. However, if you are going to hold people hostage in a strolling situation, you might want to leave the artsy shit at home. Least you find them watching your autistic artistic presentation like this...

 "Why is he talking about snow? It's a card trick..."

I'm not saying DON'T try to be artistic and creative and deep and alla that, just choose your battles. Don't make your script the default for EVERY situation. Read the room. If you're at a bar, chances are they don't want to hear your philosophy on how card tricks give you the chance to "ask questions".

It's not therapy, it's a card trick.

The struggle is real....

Normally on this journal I try to give performing advice or rant about various things that make me mad. However, from time to time I like to offer up tips on things like music or promo photos.

The longer you perform, the more things you pick up. Some of them are noticeable, while others remain hidden in the shadows.. and by shadows I mean your pants.

If you perform in a dress shirt and at any time put your hands up over your head (or anything even close to it) your shirt can come a tad untucked and stay that way.

 Exhibit A

At the very least, it can make you look disheveled. At the worst, it looks like hell in still photos. If you ever get the chance, (and I suggest you make the time when you can), talk to some of the old school pros we still have left. They all have their little tips and tricks for keeping yourself looking top notch on stage. 

It's a little thing called "Shirt Stays" and they totally do what they say on the package. When you first put them on, it might feel a little goofy at first but it's worth it. Not only does it keep your shirt tucked in, but it also keeps it from wrinkling up from normal wear.

Nice and straight. The shirt at least...

So if this kind of stuff is important to you, then you should look into it. You'll be glad you did.

 If not...

 

This could be you.

Magic Live shares a bit...

I know there has been a fair amount of radio silence on this journal. It's not dead and neither am I.

In the midst of performing and moving it's been hard to get worked up about anything in the magic world (that I can talk about anyway)

Regardless, for those who weren't there (or slept in) I did a talk at Magic Live. Lots of people di actually. If you have never been, ML has a lot of information they dole out in various ways. This year they tried something new and have graciously put it online for your perusal/approval. Not all of the subjects will appeal to you but I am sure you will find something you like. I am fond of This One personally.

That should keep you busy til' I get riled up again.

Too true...

I have two images for you that pretty much sum up the problem with, not just the world, but the entertainment business in general.


So many people see great things in the live entertainment world and they just don't give a #&^%. They shrug it off and don't support, share or tell anyone about it. Everything else is so disposable it carries over to art and talent.



This mirrors the other image but the sentiment is a little different.

Still, you get the idea...

There a hole in my pocket... in my cookie...

So I released a product a while back. Not a huge OMG YOU MUST HAS THIS!!111 relase but a release nonetheless.

I realized I didn't put it on here so here you go:


I want to collectively and publicly shame thank everyone who helped out in this video. If you want to know exactly who these people, then the YT video description is what thou seek.

If you wanna buy this silly thing head over to www.bizzaromatic.com

Has it always been this way?

In Vegas we have had conversations about if bad performers know they are bad or if there has been this many terrible magicians in the past?

I think the answer to those questions are NO and YES! Together these two answers form a perfect union of lackluster magic.

With Your Powers combined... I SUCK!

I understand having enthusiasm for the craft. I totally get it. However, what I don't understand is not being able to look at a video that is so clearly stiff, so badly performed, so badly... BAD that you don't think to yourself, "Maybe I should wait until this doesn't look like ass."

The problem of course is the fact they don't know. (or if they do they don't care). The other issue lies in the fact that you can put something on the internet for the whole world to see before your those synapses fire that tell you something is a bad idea and then you just go with it. The fact is that technology is so accessible to everyone that we get to SEE more bad magic whereas these guys (and gals. They can suck too) would just sit at home in the mirror or go to their local magic club and be bad. They were just a danger to themselves locally. Now they can be aggravating globally.

Wanting to get feedback to improve is fine. Do that. For the love of Dr. Blight, don't post every little 45 second brain poop you think is "good". Remove yourself from the equation and ask, "Is this the best I can do?" and if the answer is "maybe" you might want to hold off hitting that upload button.

The internet is forever....

Is it me you're looking for?

Hi Blogger land. Remember me? I've been gone for a while. It's nothing you did. I just haven't been that angry about anything for a while.

Well that changes today... but first...

If you don't read The Jerx you should. He just posted a great article (That was picked up on Boingboing which is how I saw it) about when spectators of magic become suspicious. He says, and I quote, "Suspicion is brought on by an unnecessary expenditure of energy on the part of the magician." (There now you don't have to read it but you really should anyway you lazy bastards)

Vernon was known for eliminating unnecessary moves from his, and others, magic. So much magic has weird ass extraneous gestures it makes you wonder if some guys who made up these tricks had palsy.

King of shaking the Aces

While you think about that, and how much of an asshole I am, can I just say how disappointed I am in magic "creators" lately?

I have been in Europe the last 3 weeks consulting for a TV show. We have gone through a lot of magic that we either bought or ask permission to use. The problem? Half of it is only good for straight to camera. They are so damned impractical to do for real people it's unreal. I knew it was bad but I had NO idea it had gotten to this level of absurdity.

My warning to all of you reading this, if it's hyper visual on a magic demo, there is a 90% chance that you will never be able to do it for anyone, not even your dog. Hell maybe not even yourself in the mirror.. standing 10 feet back... in a dark room.

Also, how many tricks out there now are just flaps, elastic thread, and magnets? Here is a hint... ALL OF THEM!! I have had to improve or fix so many of these, for the sake of argument let's call them ideas, it's infuriating. Half the time they don't work or they break after a few uses or a mix of the two.

I hope all of you who are making money off this terrible magic, individuals and companies alike, get what's coming to you...

A real job.

Looking Back...

The older I get and the more young magicians I meet, the more I want to slap them around a bit and tell them to look into magicians and magic from more than 5 years ago. I understand many people are victims of the times in which they live but to assume that some of the current "magicians" out there know what the fuck they are talking about is just silly.

I even know that the serious students will look further back and they are the ones who will succeed but someone needs to tell these kids to look back past the internet.

Keep yo pimp hand strong....

Awfully crowded...

Dear Magicians,

Crowdfunding websites like Indiegogo and Kickstarter are not there for you to use as your own personal street corner to panhandle on. Don't ask people to pay your trivial medical bills, rent, or get new props. Unless you have a million Twitter followers no one is going to care nor take you seriously. (If you have that many Twitter followers you likely wouldn't need that stuff anyway)

Thanks,

The Mngmnt.

Lo-Vision...

Have you ever seen a performer on stage doing a card trick and had trouble seeing the selected card? Perhaps in a photo or video of your own performance? Well if you can’t see it, then neither can anyone else.

Even Zombies know the importance of Jumbo Index

I have no idea why some magicians have such a disdain for jumbo index playing cards. Actually that’s not true. I know some think they look “tricky” or unfamiliar. However if you happen to use any kind of vanity deck that argument goes right out the window.

It’s fine if you don’t want to use them for close-up. However, have you ever tried to identify a court card from a distance? It’s damn near impossible. 

When you are onstage it’s very important for things to be clear, especially if you are doing card tricks. There are simple things that may seem small but make a HUGE difference. Having the card signed with a red chisel tip marker, the way you force the card (if you do that), and having a deck of cards that is visible to everyone in the room. Some of your audience will likely need glasses or have them.It's your job to make sure that these tiny but important details are thought of and implemented for the sake of your audience.

Don't fear the reaper Ted...

The little easy...

Sorry for my absence as of late. I haven't really been that angry at anything in the magic scene.... at least not enough to write about. There is plenty of regular asshattery but I have just grown numb to it.

 This is what everyday on the Cafe looks like

So in lieu of angst I will offer up some advice. As someone who has been doing stage magic since before some of you were born, let me dole out this brain dripping: Make Things Easy On Yourself! I have learned the hard way that if it happens once it can and WILL happen again. Fix it before the next show or it might bite you in the... well... you know ^...

Everything needs to flow as seamlessly as it can. This way you don't have to worry about something falling, not being in the right spot, or moving from it's (possibly secret) location. When you know you don't have to worry about things falling to pieces you can focus on your performance which is the more important part.

So if it needs a magnet, hook, velcro, ring of hot glue to keep it from rolling off the table, felt, fishing hooks, snap gums, broken popsicle stick, tampon applicator, whatever... then make it happen.

You'll be glad you did.

You are just a tool...

Dear Magic Creators,

A magic company will defend you only so long as you are valuable to them. The moment you are not a cash cow, they move on to the next slaughter. Don't let it go to your head. It's the same in every business.

A companies sole reason to exist is to make money. Don't fool yourselves into thinking they are "helping you" or anyone else other than themselves because they are "kindhearted". The only thing they care about is filling their coffers.

Keep that in mind when you fill the market with your brain poop.

Sincerely,

The Mngmnt.

"Everyone is so fake when they shake you hand, and they kiss your ass 'cause then they get cash" - Reel Big Fish

The definition of insanity...

I was reading an article about the OODA Loop, (A theory that pertains to many things including magic), and in it there was a talk about the 2nd law of Thermodynamics". While technically this refers to mechanics and whatnot, it can also be applied to people. For you lazt bastards who don't want to read it, here is a line that jumped out at me: "The more we rely on outdated mental models even while the world around us is changing, the more our mental “entropy” goes up."

Doesn't that sound a lot like most of the magicians we know?

Magic doesn't like to evolve with the times. To be fair humans in general resist swift change but we are one, if not many, decades behind the times. We have jumped ahead a bit here and there with the advent of the internet, but let's face it, we are still giving people books printed in the 30s and 40s back when tricks were titled "To magically procure a selected card from a borrowed gentleman's bowler hat". 

In some cases, magic is collapsing in on itself because they believe circling the wagons is the best option. The SAM, IBM, Magic Castle and even forums like the big soylent green refuse to look at the world around us and accept there might be people who view entertainment different from them.

Don't agree with me? Here is another bit of text from that article...

"Individuals or organizations that don’t communicate with the outside world by getting new information about the environment or by creating new mental models act like a “closed system.” And just as a closed system in nature will have increasing entropy, or disorder, so too will a person or organization experience mental entropy or disorder if they’re cut off from the outside world and new information."

 Now if that doesn't sound like a bunch of old white men with decks of cards I don't know what does.

Battle Damage...

I want to share something with you guys that I have been telling others about for a while now. Usually I spill this news to the younger generation when one of the old guard does something so profoundly and unfathomably stupid or asshole-o-rific(tm), that the aforementioned youngster just cant wrap their head around it all.  

The entertainment business is populated with damaged people.

Now I am sure a handful of you reading this will be like "Well duh Bizzaro. You haven't written anything in a long time and THIS is what you come back at us with?"

This nugget of wisdom is not for you smart ass. It's for the beginners and youngsters who might stumble upon my words and have not experienced this oh so joyous part of our business.

The rest of you meet me at camera 3.... 

Ok guys look. For some reason people with some major deep seated issues are drawn to the ascertainment business. (Mind you they are different issues than the ones that draw damaged people to become cops but that is besides the point.) They either weren't hugged enough as a child... or hugged TOO much. They seek power, fame, money, and many other forms of acceptance or adoration they never had in their life before. Whatever the reason, if they do or say something crazy to/at you, it's not your fault. Just take a deep breath and repeat after me...

"They're just a magician. They can't help that they're damaged." (This also tends to work in relationships too but there is a litany of other factors to that one.)

So chin up young bucks and buckettes. If some 50 year old finger flinger you once respected has cock blocked you from releasing a DVD because they think they own snack food, it's on them. If they make a YouTube video about something you posted and it sounds insane, chances are it is and you should just repeat our above mantra.

For every batshit entertainer out there, there is another one who is cool and fun to hang out with. Seek those people out instead and you will be much happier.

 Just remember to keep the popcorn handy

Lines in the sand...

Magic is a small community. Word gets around fast.

As a creator and prop maker, I have always lauded the practice of properly crediting and to never rub another man's rhubarb. If the lines are blurry between an effect and the other, it's nice to reach out and talk to the other party to come to some sort of agreement or compromise. (Sometimes that can backfire of course and some dick thinks he owns Cracker Jacks or something.)

As the world progresses and evolves, more and more people are ok with engaging in shady practices to get their name out there. As I have stated before, today you are more well known for the product you release in magic than your ability to perform.

This is why it's so very important to leave a pleasant first impression with your initial magic releases (And every other after that but I digress).

Enter this guy....

He's modest too!

Within a matter of months he has managed to piss off a lot of magicians (to be fair, it's not that difficult) and make a name for himself... but not a good one.

You see, magic is (usually) a self-policing entity. We see something that is too close to something else and we lose our fucking minds. Usually it's justified, sometimes it's not. In this case, there is clear evidence of shenanigans. Paper trails and alla that.

You see, even professional magicians are like a car full of drag queens. We can be catty bitches and we talk. OH do we talk. The reason is many of us care about what is going on in our profession because we care about magic in one way or another. This kid's bad rep goes deeper than his lack of respect for magic product releases. Apparently he has pissed a few other people's Cheerios in the magic world in some form or another.

Let him serve as an example of what could happen to you if you think you can fool the foolers. You'll still likely get away with it, but a lot less people will want to come play in your sandbox.

Also, I'm not the only one who sees this am I?

Yeah, you get it.

Going thru a stage...

A very interesting article popped up on my feed the other day. While the title pertains to life, I think it also pertains to magic as well. Thus I have adopted their categories to describe how we grow thru life if we stay on this weird journey we call magic.

Mimicry - I have said that magic is ten years behind the times because we are influenced by what has come before us. Music, movies, other performers, etc. When we first start out as performers, we look to those who leave an impact on us. Some of us are inspired while others outright copy. Some say that when you are very young it is ok to copy as it helps you get your bearings but you eventually (I say quickly) need to move away and find yourself which is where the second stage comes in.

Self-Discovery - This is where you figure out what your performing persona or character or style might be. What material you like... or don't like. Mind you a lot of these decisions will evolve or alter course over time but usually you start to find your footing.

Commitment - After a decade of finding yourself and honing your skills, you start to narrow in on the kind of presentation and material you want to do. Again, things will ebb and flow in and out of mind, but ultimately you start to stand your ground and focus on one thing or another.

Legacy - Finally, you begin to master your craft and make fans and/or students. (More likely nowadays, publish material that will long outlast you) If you have stuck it out on the long hard road out of hell, you will leave behind those that will sing your praises and speak of you in hushed whispers in smokey back rooms. If you are lucky, your name will outlast all of the naysayers you encountered along the way who thought they knew you better than you did.

All of this and more are the stepping stones of becoming a fully fleshed out performer and not just some joke fluffing birthday party rabbit puller.

And then there are those who just don't give a shit one way or the other...

On tour...

I'm out galavanting on the east coast for a bit so here is something distracting....

Get Out!

Dear Magicians,

Please stop saying trite shit like "let's get into it". I could turn this phrase into a drinking game watching magic demos and get hammered in 10 minutes. You HAVE to be able to find something better to say. I believe in you. I know you have it...

into you.

Thanks,

The Mngmnt.

They call her Billy "Guest Column" Kidd...

In a recent issue of Vanish Magazine I wrote an article asking some different female magi about various things. One of the performers I talked to was Billy Kidd. One of her answers intrigued me and I asked her to expound upon it to publish here.

Thus...

I think magicians need to learn how to be more aware of themselves on stage and more aware of their audiences. If you are a solo act  you should always be listening to your audience. They will give you secret information as to when to say your next line, when to do your next sneaky move, when to say the punch line to your joke and so on. If you are a double act, learning to actively listen to your partner on stage is equally important. I don't mean just listening for your cue... actively listening and reacting to whats going on around you. This will naturally put you "in the moment" during every performance making things seem fresh and spontaneous. This also allows the magician to improv and react accordingly which is what clowns do all the time. Which in return might give you new material that actually comes out of something spontaneous.  But how does one learn how to do this? Well its not going to happen in front of your mirror. 

The amount of hours and time one puts into practicing their sleight of hand should be the equal amount of time one should put into there stage time/actual performance time. Sadly this is not the case for most magicians. I think this is why some of the public consider magic cheesy, and unappealing at times is  because they are actually witnessing bad performers and not bad magic.

Sometimes I think magicians think that being a good performer just means talk loudly and do facial contortions and mug to the audience. Blagh. I know our books say video tape your self and watch what you do. This isn't just to see what angles are best. Listen to what you are saying and when you say it. Are you repeating lines as transitions because you have no idea what else to say? How many times do you say the word " actually...." or  " and now for my next trick...."  or " you know what..." etc. Watch yourself on camera and ask yourself if you can stand on stage without moving or holding something and still be equally engaging. And if you are not getting booked and have nowhere to practice stage time then make it happen yourself. Go out and street perform, do open mic nights, create your own theatre even if its in your back yard. Just go out and DO IT!

Magic is such a technical art form in one sense. I think one of the most important things we forget to do as adults is keeping in the essence of play. If we can unlearn how to be an adult on stage you can find so much freedom within your magic to make things more memorable and stronger for your audiences. Its so easy for us to copy patter word for word in the book or watching the DVD. So how do you make those classic tricks unique to your performances? How do you create something new even if its from something old? Play. But to Play you have to know so much about your habits and who you are as a person and magician. Violist Stephen Nachmanovitch says " To create, we need both technique and freedom from technique. To this end we practice until our skills become unconscious."  Then there is the argument of are you a magician that entertains OR an entertainer that does magic? Ugggh.... to this I say F*** off! You should be doing both equally and just as importantly. Unfortunately our concern over the technique takes over everything. We should be able to take our technique and basic sleights for that matter, personalize it until it engages people rather than relying on the store bought gimmick that will make you a superstar on the internet over night. 

I have been working professionally in theatre since I was 12 years old and have been fortunate enough to work with some of the top actors in Canada. When I got involved with magic and started meeting magicians I looked up to everybody and every bit of knowledge they were willing to share. People were very generous in telling me what books to read how to practice certain sleights and what not. For that I am forever grateful. When I first started watching magic shows and competitions at conventions I didn't understand why it felt like I was watching a high school drama production. Until I realized that lots of magicians don't create enough stage time for themselves, are unaware of who they are as a performer, and are too concentrated on the technical side of things. Are magicians merely actors who are playing the part of magicians? I think we should be but are not quite there yet.

And it's a sexy lamp with the assist!

Ok so bear with me on this post. It might get a little weird.

In writing there is a number of unofficial "tests" such as "the Bechdel test". As with most things, people start to add to that kind of stuff and eventually you end up with something like the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

That aside, I found an interesting test that could be applied to magic. It's called The Sexy Lamp Test. It goes a little something like this:

"I’ve got another test that works just as well. The Sexy Lamp test. If you can take out a female character and replace her with a sexy lamp, YOU’RE A FUCKING HACK.” - Kelly Sue DeConnick

Taken into context for magic, if your magic assistant could be replaced by a sexy table, you might want to rethink how much you are paying that person because they are essentially a prop. 

 You wouldn't have to pay this as much to do the show.

There is so much great dynamic by-play that can be achieved by adding a second person to the act so why waste that by just using them to steal things from or ditch onto?  

So take a step back and either start writing or head out to your local Ikea. Your call.

From the ashes...

Some of you who might have been following this journal from early on knows I drew some inspiration from The Magic Circle Jerk blog. Not in writing or color scheme, but the fact that he kind of started the boom of magicians taking up keyboard and finger to say what they couldn't (or weren't allowed) anywhere else lest they be berated by the armchair ass klowns who inhabit message boards and have never done anything else with their life except lord over an imaginary domain that matters only to other talentless back seat drivers.

But I digress...

I am here to alert the masses that you should rejoice and peons should quake with fear. The Jerx is here to enlighten your load.

Open wide.

Running with the devil... music.

A couple years ago I posted my treatise on running your own music for shows.

All of that info is still valid. (Except maybe the price of Go Button has gone up a bit but still cheaper and better than many other options on the market) I have decided to add one new toy in the mix.

Sometimes something might just go wrong and if you don't have a sound person who knows how your set-up works you might a bit boned. The way to get around this is to have your music player with you on stage but you might not always have a direct box to plug into and then you have wires running all akimbo.

If only someone made wireless audio cables.... oh wait.... They Do!

These items are made for guitars BUT work with any other audio devices... including ipods. You will need to nab some adapters because they use 1/4" plugs but most sound boards support that. I picked some up from Ebay for around 70$. They are Bluetooth which means you don't have to worry about weird interference. The best part is they have a low-latency which means there is no delay (that I have seen) between the time you press play and it goes. They also charge via usb so you don't have to keep buying batteries for them.

The only downside I have found thus far is they are a bit clunky in size. If you get an adapter I suggest one with a wire so your ipod is not some giant long contraption taking up space.

Now there are other bluetooth receivers for car audio auxiliary ports but they don't have a long range on them. These are made for distance while others are made for the confines of a car. These aren't the only devices made for this purpose, but they are a more affordable alternative than more high end models out there.

Feel free to do your own research but if you trust my judgement like Danny Weiser does, you might just like these.

I'm different... just like everyone else!

Dear Magicians,

Stop trying to say that your magic is different from everyone else when it's clearly not. If you say you are trying to "change the face of magic" then you can't do floating table, bowl-a-rama, strait jacket, linking rings or really anything else associated with ANY OTHER MAGICIAN!

Thanks,

The Mngmnt.