I haven't been thinking much about magic or why it sucks, blows, juggles, or fingerpaints. However I have been spending a lot of time thinking about how much trendy clubs and business suck some hardcore phallic symbol. So today is a little advice to all of you kids who think that people respect magic and the fine institution it has become.
First.. ALWAYS get a contract. Especially if you work for a sleazy, trendy night club for special events. If you go thru an agency that's their job. If you do it yourself make sure YOU take care of it. The people who run most nightclubs that are filled up full of drunk yuppies with more money than sense will try to screw you at any chance they get.. Especially if yer a total stranger. You see in this world we think magic is this wondrous form of entertainment.. however the rest of the world (Well not the WHOLE world, but just replace "rest of the world" with "cocaine sniffing hooker buying bar owning idiots") isn't as keen on us as we want to believe.
It's like when you tell someone, "We have a sideshow" OH WOW REALLY!!! Then you say "We also have a magic show" Oh.. wow.. really? Yah that's kinda how it goes. Why is this? The word magic conjures up images of guys with doves, boxes, tuxedos, and silk scarves. (Let's face it, if you have more silk scarves than yer wife.. you are a magician. It's a close call tho' on that with Duane Laughlin.) I have said it before it's up to us to change that and I think it is... but it's been a lateral move from tuxedos to the David Blaine (AKA: The Asshat) We'll get there. We might all be dead when it happens.. but we'll get there.
So anywho, back at the farm.... Get a contract cuz' people with no morals will show their true colors when money is involved.
Next up is when you go to perform street magic learn the laws of the land. Some places won't let you take money from someone's hand until it hits a tip jar. It's called pandering or panhandling. Many cops have nothing better to do but flex their muscles at some poor skinny schlub trying to eek out a meager living on the street. If they are Dallas cops they might just mace you, take yer money, and kick yah a few times. That's getting off easy too. So know yer laws.
What else? Hmm lesee... if you are no good at the BS game on the phone then get yerself a good representation. Don't have to be a manager. Could be a friend who is just good at talking shit. Some great artists and magicians SUCK when it comes to dealing with people. This is why the Japanese invented managers. Get one.. or at least someone you trust.
Remember, just because it's not working where you are doesn't mean it won't work period. The US is a cesspool of conservative morals. Especially the south. Europe digs art and live acts. The wierder the better sometimes. They respect street performers. Find a place to be happy.. and stay there!! Not just a location but a place in your mind and heart. It's your life. Don't let anyone tell you how to live it.. unless they are yer wife. She knows where you live.
Bizzaro.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Sunday, October 24, 2004
I have spoken on this before but instead of reposting everything about this in here I will make you work for my rant and why street magic isn't what the Asshat has made it seem to be. Wanna look? go Here.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
What's in a name?
Well for starters all of your personality and pretty much the first impression. Going by my stage name has it's drawbacks but there is no pretense about what yer getting. Choosing something a tad more inconspicuous can be handy and not at the same time. If it sounds too normal you might be perceived as just another nameless/ faceless magician. Copperfield was an already known name from a book. Instilled curiosity what that might be about. Houdini was a conglomerate of two other names. It was unique and invited further investigation.
A name has to have a bit of pop or roll off the tongue gently. "Penn and Teller"; what do these names say to you? If you have never heard of them.. well nothing. If you know it you know it well. Had it been Charlie and Frank, well that would be a different story. They happened to be born with interesting names (First and last respectively.) Are you that lucky? If yer name is John, Bob, Mary, or some other sundry name.. possibly not. If yer first name is a bit bland you can try to spice it up with a last name. For example Misty of MistyLee.com added Lee to a name that was common in the 80's. It's a normal sounding name, buy also sounds like a bit more.
What spawned this post was another on the Ellusionist forums. Here is what was transcribed by me...
Performer names are all depending on the character you want to come across as. Bizzaro was created as a pure accident. I was 13 and said "That looked Bizzaro.. hmm that sounds kool." and voila. I didn't mean for it to be so fitting as the demented stuff came later (And later found out that Bizarro was a Superman villain AND comic strip. Luckily I was a public skool child and didn't know how to spell. When I found out the real spelling it was already too late.)
One of my associates developed his from his middle name and just putting a finger in the phone book.. he got Glenn Claxton. I know someone who liked wolves and became Kurtis Wolfe. (Curtis being his first name)
So inspiration can come from anywhere. If you chose a unique multi-word performing name it might get shortened. McBride, Copperfield, Blaine. They all have first names but it's the LAST name that sells it. Houdini, Keller, Dante. All dead. Also all one word names.
In the end it's not just yer name, it's if you can sell that name... but it helps to have one that is memorable and easy to spell.
Too bad I went to public skool hunh?
Well for starters all of your personality and pretty much the first impression. Going by my stage name has it's drawbacks but there is no pretense about what yer getting. Choosing something a tad more inconspicuous can be handy and not at the same time. If it sounds too normal you might be perceived as just another nameless/ faceless magician. Copperfield was an already known name from a book. Instilled curiosity what that might be about. Houdini was a conglomerate of two other names. It was unique and invited further investigation.
A name has to have a bit of pop or roll off the tongue gently. "Penn and Teller"; what do these names say to you? If you have never heard of them.. well nothing. If you know it you know it well. Had it been Charlie and Frank, well that would be a different story. They happened to be born with interesting names (First and last respectively.) Are you that lucky? If yer name is John, Bob, Mary, or some other sundry name.. possibly not. If yer first name is a bit bland you can try to spice it up with a last name. For example Misty of MistyLee.com added Lee to a name that was common in the 80's. It's a normal sounding name, buy also sounds like a bit more.
What spawned this post was another on the Ellusionist forums. Here is what was transcribed by me...
Performer names are all depending on the character you want to come across as. Bizzaro was created as a pure accident. I was 13 and said "That looked Bizzaro.. hmm that sounds kool." and voila. I didn't mean for it to be so fitting as the demented stuff came later (And later found out that Bizarro was a Superman villain AND comic strip. Luckily I was a public skool child and didn't know how to spell. When I found out the real spelling it was already too late.)
One of my associates developed his from his middle name and just putting a finger in the phone book.. he got Glenn Claxton. I know someone who liked wolves and became Kurtis Wolfe. (Curtis being his first name)
So inspiration can come from anywhere. If you chose a unique multi-word performing name it might get shortened. McBride, Copperfield, Blaine. They all have first names but it's the LAST name that sells it. Houdini, Keller, Dante. All dead. Also all one word names.
In the end it's not just yer name, it's if you can sell that name... but it helps to have one that is memorable and easy to spell.
Too bad I went to public skool hunh?
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Shameless self promotion!!!
For those who are not familiar with my Close-up work I am offering this one time only.
At the suggestion of some others I have decided to release into limited print a few of my effects: The Bizzaro Flip, Fan Control, and one handed flourish revelation along with some effects using said techniques. It is a small independently published booklet limited to a run of ONLY 25. I personally do not believe in mass marketing effects but I do want to share them with some people who are serious about magic and adding to their art and materials. I usually will only teach people these in person but due to some suggestions I am offering this up. The booklet will be 13.80$ US and will be limited to 5 customers from 5 different forums. Go to this link Here and fill out the form. Once all of them are gone the page will disappear and never be offered again. Enjoy!
Bizzaro.
For those who are not familiar with my Close-up work I am offering this one time only.
At the suggestion of some others I have decided to release into limited print a few of my effects: The Bizzaro Flip, Fan Control, and one handed flourish revelation along with some effects using said techniques. It is a small independently published booklet limited to a run of ONLY 25. I personally do not believe in mass marketing effects but I do want to share them with some people who are serious about magic and adding to their art and materials. I usually will only teach people these in person but due to some suggestions I am offering this up. The booklet will be 13.80$ US and will be limited to 5 customers from 5 different forums. Go to this link Here and fill out the form. Once all of them are gone the page will disappear and never be offered again. Enjoy!
Bizzaro.
Person to person rants... what follows is some snippets from an IM conversation I was recently having.
smappdooda: it just takes acting and personality and mastering the art of making them believe what you want them to
smappdooda: too many magicians are not themselves when they perform.. they are a magician. If you watch me you see I am just being me but with a deck of cards.
smappdooda: but yah I talk to people like they are people not just props. It just takes time to get to that level where it's not the magic but how you present it and if you can entertain the audience.
smappdooda: magic is moves and tricks.. it's adding dance, make up comedy and other stuff when it becomes art
smappdooda: I bitch about magic a lot on a blog I have...
You get the idea. I was talking to someone who wants to get into magic. I feel it best to try and steer people into a direction that is not so much magic as it is entertainment. Thaz what it's all about after all right? I talk about that a lot on here (If you have been following along) and it's never gonna change.
Many people have said to me "I can't do magic I am not that dexterous... my hands are too small... I am clumsy." I say some of the best magic isn't the way you do it it's how you present it. It is up to you to make it as difficult as you want. Most people just go along with what you say. True you get some who are watchful but they were never up to enjoying it anyway. (Always have something fool proof for people like this to shut them up by the way. It's good to have a "Plan B")
Remember that the magic is really you and them. The props are just there for the visual. It's your life... make it your own.
Bizzaro.
smappdooda: it just takes acting and personality and mastering the art of making them believe what you want them to
smappdooda: too many magicians are not themselves when they perform.. they are a magician. If you watch me you see I am just being me but with a deck of cards.
smappdooda: but yah I talk to people like they are people not just props. It just takes time to get to that level where it's not the magic but how you present it and if you can entertain the audience.
smappdooda: magic is moves and tricks.. it's adding dance, make up comedy and other stuff when it becomes art
smappdooda: I bitch about magic a lot on a blog I have...
You get the idea. I was talking to someone who wants to get into magic. I feel it best to try and steer people into a direction that is not so much magic as it is entertainment. Thaz what it's all about after all right? I talk about that a lot on here (If you have been following along) and it's never gonna change.
Many people have said to me "I can't do magic I am not that dexterous... my hands are too small... I am clumsy." I say some of the best magic isn't the way you do it it's how you present it. It is up to you to make it as difficult as you want. Most people just go along with what you say. True you get some who are watchful but they were never up to enjoying it anyway. (Always have something fool proof for people like this to shut them up by the way. It's good to have a "Plan B")
Remember that the magic is really you and them. The props are just there for the visual. It's your life... make it your own.
Bizzaro.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
YHW
This is the word you should write on your forehead so in the mirror you will see it and remember to ask yourself "Why?". There is a point in most magicians lives, (Not all but most.. and not as many as there should be.), where they stop and think to themselves, "Well that don't make no damn sense!".
When you see someone produce a dove or candle or fan of cards do you wonder "now why did he do that"? Many just write it off or chalk it up to "Oh he's a magician". (There sure are a lot of ""'s in this post) Now not everything has to be logical but it would be nice if you are holding a playing card, sword, or other prop in some un-natural fashion to have a reason for doing so. Ever see the snap change? Who holds a card like that?
Now there are some times it's ok. Some things are so subtle or in the peripheral that no one questions it or notices it. Like how magicians turn over a playing card on a deck of cards. Ask a normal type person to turn over a card. They usually do it end for end, not left to right or any other goofy ass way we turn over cards. They don't question our way cuz' it's not something they do enuff or care about. It's when we take an everyday action they see or do themselves that they kind of wonder what's up. It's a subtle alarm. Like looking at a drawing or painting and just KNOWING something is off but can't place it on whut. Yer gonna think about it... and so will they.
So just think about why yer doing some of the stuff yer doing. If yer gonna put a picture frame over yer head and move your head around at least have the motivation to do so. Someone hitting you over the head with a real painting out of anger. Spite and revenge is great motivation for a stage illusion. Most of them are hella violent anyway.
In the end it's not the why.. but the how they care about anyway.
Bizzaro.
This is the word you should write on your forehead so in the mirror you will see it and remember to ask yourself "Why?". There is a point in most magicians lives, (Not all but most.. and not as many as there should be.), where they stop and think to themselves, "Well that don't make no damn sense!".
When you see someone produce a dove or candle or fan of cards do you wonder "now why did he do that"? Many just write it off or chalk it up to "Oh he's a magician". (There sure are a lot of ""'s in this post) Now not everything has to be logical but it would be nice if you are holding a playing card, sword, or other prop in some un-natural fashion to have a reason for doing so. Ever see the snap change? Who holds a card like that?
Now there are some times it's ok. Some things are so subtle or in the peripheral that no one questions it or notices it. Like how magicians turn over a playing card on a deck of cards. Ask a normal type person to turn over a card. They usually do it end for end, not left to right or any other goofy ass way we turn over cards. They don't question our way cuz' it's not something they do enuff or care about. It's when we take an everyday action they see or do themselves that they kind of wonder what's up. It's a subtle alarm. Like looking at a drawing or painting and just KNOWING something is off but can't place it on whut. Yer gonna think about it... and so will they.
So just think about why yer doing some of the stuff yer doing. If yer gonna put a picture frame over yer head and move your head around at least have the motivation to do so. Someone hitting you over the head with a real painting out of anger. Spite and revenge is great motivation for a stage illusion. Most of them are hella violent anyway.
In the end it's not the why.. but the how they care about anyway.
Bizzaro.
Monday, September 27, 2004
So I was recently discussing magic competitions with some other performers and looking at some of the criteria in which they judge on. A rather odd thing came to our attention as one known convention has the judges base some of their score off of "Entertainment Value". Now I dunno about you guys but I don't find ballet entertaining, but some people do.
So who puts the power into these judges hands to deem what is entertaining when it is subjective all the way around? If you compete in a competition and perform illusions but 3/5ths of the judges like manipulation and think that is entertaining isn't that an unfair bias? What if an entire crowd of REAL people find your act entertaining but a small handful of people who may or may not be pros in your field do not? What happens then? You get a bad score and doubt yourself.
I say many magic competitions do more harm than good to someone. Just because some 60+ amateurs do not like what you do doesn't mean you should not do it. Life has been made up of people who said screw the naysayers and did what they wanted. Some of them were idolized... and some were forced to drink hemlock. The latter isn't seen as much anymore.. at least not in the US.
So remember when yer going into a competition, do not go in to win. Go in to have fun, show off what you can do, and remind people who you are. People who have competition acts don't always do well in the real world.... and that's where the money is.
This applies to stage and close up. Just because someone doesn't like the way you dress does that give them the right to count off of your skill or entertainment value? NO! They will do it tho'...
Just keep your eyes forward and don't forget who you are and where you want to go. It's your art.. not theirs.
Bizzaro.
So who puts the power into these judges hands to deem what is entertaining when it is subjective all the way around? If you compete in a competition and perform illusions but 3/5ths of the judges like manipulation and think that is entertaining isn't that an unfair bias? What if an entire crowd of REAL people find your act entertaining but a small handful of people who may or may not be pros in your field do not? What happens then? You get a bad score and doubt yourself.
I say many magic competitions do more harm than good to someone. Just because some 60+ amateurs do not like what you do doesn't mean you should not do it. Life has been made up of people who said screw the naysayers and did what they wanted. Some of them were idolized... and some were forced to drink hemlock. The latter isn't seen as much anymore.. at least not in the US.
So remember when yer going into a competition, do not go in to win. Go in to have fun, show off what you can do, and remind people who you are. People who have competition acts don't always do well in the real world.... and that's where the money is.
This applies to stage and close up. Just because someone doesn't like the way you dress does that give them the right to count off of your skill or entertainment value? NO! They will do it tho'...
Just keep your eyes forward and don't forget who you are and where you want to go. It's your art.. not theirs.
Bizzaro.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
I wanna rock all night.. and everyday.
KISS... no not the guys with the long tongue and strange make up. I am referring to the acronym. The very oddly phrased Keep It Simple Stupid. While not being overly polite, it does get the point across. Tonight I decided to perform cards across for the first time.. EVER!! First time mainly cuz' it's done a lot and it's just so damn easy. Of course this brings me to the point of this post.
You don't need the most recent shiny gadget or toy from Hank Lee or Elmwood Magic. All you need is your hands and a little balls. (That sure sounded better in my head.) The secret to great magic isn't skill, I mean it helps, but what you need is confidence. In everything you do. People follow and are drawn to those who portray they know what they are doing. It's how you manage an audience, make people believe what you say, and otherwise lead them down a path to their very own DEMISE!!
What is the vehicle down this path? YOU!! It's an easy thing to drive too. So much can be accomplished by a double lift or top change. Let's simplify that even to card forces and a card palm. With little or no trouble, you too can perform miracles. It's all in the presentation. Cards across and Phil Goldstein's "Chinese Las Vegas Pulse Reading" are good examples of this. Using just one simple move you become your own show... not your tricks. Magic should be a part of you not vice versa. As has been said here before, make the magic fit you, don't try to fit the magic like so many girls nowadays who try to squeeze into pants two sizes too small. It doesn't fit and looks horrid.
So while we learn new moves and buy new stuff to entertain ourselves and our satisfaction for new ideas, don't lose sight of what's important... you.
Keep it simple... OR DIE!!!
Bizzaro.
KISS... no not the guys with the long tongue and strange make up. I am referring to the acronym. The very oddly phrased Keep It Simple Stupid. While not being overly polite, it does get the point across. Tonight I decided to perform cards across for the first time.. EVER!! First time mainly cuz' it's done a lot and it's just so damn easy. Of course this brings me to the point of this post.
You don't need the most recent shiny gadget or toy from Hank Lee or Elmwood Magic. All you need is your hands and a little balls. (That sure sounded better in my head.) The secret to great magic isn't skill, I mean it helps, but what you need is confidence. In everything you do. People follow and are drawn to those who portray they know what they are doing. It's how you manage an audience, make people believe what you say, and otherwise lead them down a path to their very own DEMISE!!
What is the vehicle down this path? YOU!! It's an easy thing to drive too. So much can be accomplished by a double lift or top change. Let's simplify that even to card forces and a card palm. With little or no trouble, you too can perform miracles. It's all in the presentation. Cards across and Phil Goldstein's "Chinese Las Vegas Pulse Reading" are good examples of this. Using just one simple move you become your own show... not your tricks. Magic should be a part of you not vice versa. As has been said here before, make the magic fit you, don't try to fit the magic like so many girls nowadays who try to squeeze into pants two sizes too small. It doesn't fit and looks horrid.
So while we learn new moves and buy new stuff to entertain ourselves and our satisfaction for new ideas, don't lose sight of what's important... you.
Keep it simple... OR DIE!!!
Bizzaro.
Sunday, September 19, 2004
I knew this site was gonna bite me in the ass...
Peter Loughran came across my review for Black Hole and the harsh thing I said at the end about Head Rush (The picture frame illusion they created). I didna like it and sometimes I am not one to mince words. If you could really move your head why use a picture frame? It's like box illusions... if yah gonna her in half.. why not just.. do it? So anyway, this brought up an interesting thing... if someone doesn't like what you do, do they not like you?
Of course they like you. Magic is what we do for ourselves as an artform to satisfy our desire to create and make other happy. (Well for some of us) If someone doesn't like our style, certain tricks, or character on stage does that mean that we suck in real life? Well maybe but not usually. So because of that I just wanna say that regardless that I may not like some of Loughran's products, (Hey some people liked the Elevator, some didn't. I thought it was a good idea.), from what I have seen he is a nice guy. Like so many other snowbacks (Term of endearment... it's a long story, trust me.) he is obviously nuts and pretty nice. (Doubt me? Look at the entire cast of SCTV. Nutz and seemingly nice guys... but I didna talk to them in emails much.. or at all)
SO yah, my writing style may seem very mean, brash, and mean spirited unless I say I don't like someone outright, this blog is for my feelings on magic... and sometimes, I just don't like certain products. I blame my family for all the ganja they smoked.
So go hug yer fave magician today... even if yah dun like that card trick they do with the two pieces of cardboard and a rubber band.
Bizzaro.
Peter Loughran came across my review for Black Hole and the harsh thing I said at the end about Head Rush (The picture frame illusion they created). I didna like it and sometimes I am not one to mince words. If you could really move your head why use a picture frame? It's like box illusions... if yah gonna her in half.. why not just.. do it? So anyway, this brought up an interesting thing... if someone doesn't like what you do, do they not like you?
Of course they like you. Magic is what we do for ourselves as an artform to satisfy our desire to create and make other happy. (Well for some of us) If someone doesn't like our style, certain tricks, or character on stage does that mean that we suck in real life? Well maybe but not usually. So because of that I just wanna say that regardless that I may not like some of Loughran's products, (Hey some people liked the Elevator, some didn't. I thought it was a good idea.), from what I have seen he is a nice guy. Like so many other snowbacks (Term of endearment... it's a long story, trust me.) he is obviously nuts and pretty nice. (Doubt me? Look at the entire cast of SCTV. Nutz and seemingly nice guys... but I didna talk to them in emails much.. or at all)
SO yah, my writing style may seem very mean, brash, and mean spirited unless I say I don't like someone outright, this blog is for my feelings on magic... and sometimes, I just don't like certain products. I blame my family for all the ganja they smoked.
So go hug yer fave magician today... even if yah dun like that card trick they do with the two pieces of cardboard and a rubber band.
Bizzaro.
Monday, September 13, 2004
Just a little advice...
If you are one of the unfortunate lucky ones who have noticed the growing trend of off the wall and strange magicians and decided to join their ranks then congrats. It's a thankless, tough, and never ending uphill battle. If you would rather sacrifice easy money and doves (Not literally sacrifice doves.. well some of you might what do I know?) to create something you can be proud of that is unique and artistic, even if only in your head, then you are probably a little frustrated.
The world only wants what they know. Boxes to shove girls in for no reason, animals that get cheap applause, shiny smiling faces with no personality or charm, and rehearsed lines with no emotion or true feeling whatsoever. Trying to open the eyes of others is a difficult task but if you can stick with it, trudge thru the many people who don't think your weird act will fit in anywhere, and work hard at it you might just be rewarded for your efforts and not have to compromise your goals for anyone.
Good luck to those of you who look at life thru a cracked glass. We here at Fire Cat Studios salute you. Now get back to work....
Bizzaro.
If you are one of the unfortunate lucky ones who have noticed the growing trend of off the wall and strange magicians and decided to join their ranks then congrats. It's a thankless, tough, and never ending uphill battle. If you would rather sacrifice easy money and doves (Not literally sacrifice doves.. well some of you might what do I know?) to create something you can be proud of that is unique and artistic, even if only in your head, then you are probably a little frustrated.
The world only wants what they know. Boxes to shove girls in for no reason, animals that get cheap applause, shiny smiling faces with no personality or charm, and rehearsed lines with no emotion or true feeling whatsoever. Trying to open the eyes of others is a difficult task but if you can stick with it, trudge thru the many people who don't think your weird act will fit in anywhere, and work hard at it you might just be rewarded for your efforts and not have to compromise your goals for anyone.
Good luck to those of you who look at life thru a cracked glass. We here at Fire Cat Studios salute you. Now get back to work....
Bizzaro.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Let's talk about magic products. Looks like another assault on our pocket books by our neighbors north of the border. That's right that snowback Peter Loughran has created another "revolutionary" product. The Black Hole device. Is it a topit for your leg? Is it a fanny pack on your back? Who knows. For 40 bucks of yer cash for two it can't be much more than some cardboard and rubber bands right? Ever since the split decisions on the Elevator gimmick and it's price perhaps Loughran has wised up, but considering the useless exchange rate of the Canadian Loonie, he must be making a fortune on production costs of this new gimmick. It must be a two dollar device that according to him and his graphic design guy for this product, will make you "slap your forehead and go duh!".
In otherwords, it's a trip to the home despot and some time alone in your bathroom to construct. Much of magic is like that. After being at a magic convention all weekend and wandering the dealers room, magic is fast becoming the art of "What kinda useless crap can we macguyver into a new trick and sell for too much money?". So if you watch the video of this device vanishing a large silver bowl and then read it is made for the street performer then something is wrong. Even on stage the ability to hide or ditch a large metal anything and act casual and walk without a limp seems doubtful. I could be wrong. I'm tempted to check it out for myself but I want to hear a few more reviews that don't come from those fellatio tops-of-the-legs kissers at the Magic Soup Kitchen. If anyone who reads this... you know, out of the 5 of you... knows anything positive about the product lemme know. If it lives up to the hype that would be the amazing part about the shoe shebang.
After that god awful illusion with the picture frame it can't be much worse... right?
Bizzaro.
In otherwords, it's a trip to the home despot and some time alone in your bathroom to construct. Much of magic is like that. After being at a magic convention all weekend and wandering the dealers room, magic is fast becoming the art of "What kinda useless crap can we macguyver into a new trick and sell for too much money?". So if you watch the video of this device vanishing a large silver bowl and then read it is made for the street performer then something is wrong. Even on stage the ability to hide or ditch a large metal anything and act casual and walk without a limp seems doubtful. I could be wrong. I'm tempted to check it out for myself but I want to hear a few more reviews that don't come from those fellatio tops-of-the-legs kissers at the Magic Soup Kitchen. If anyone who reads this... you know, out of the 5 of you... knows anything positive about the product lemme know. If it lives up to the hype that would be the amazing part about the shoe shebang.
After that god awful illusion with the picture frame it can't be much worse... right?
Bizzaro.
Monday, September 06, 2004
We went to the TAOM (Texas Association of Magicians) convention this weekend. Here is the VERY long report. Read it all or not. I dun care.
We got in thursday night and went to check out the hotel. Ran into some people I know. Twas fun just sitting around learning new in-jokes and talking shop. We eventually ended up at my good friend Claudia's. (And her roomates. None of them even read this so I won't mention Andrew and Mickey's name. No point.) Went to bed in a coooomfy bed. Woke up on...
Friday: Went to shell out mah 125$ to register and compete. I remember when this con used to cost 65$. Guess they realized they was getting screwed. Oh well. Wandered around the dealers room a bit, saw some more friends and fiends and watched Oscar Munoz' lecture. A pretty lax day. Went to the evening show which was plauged by bad technical difficulties.. mainly the techies sucked. I told Mischief that the evening shows were the best part and I think Friday was the dress rehearsal for SUCK!! The opening act damn near killed a dove, had some dumb as a rock assistants and wore a god awful powder blue tux thing. I couldn't tell if he was a girl or a guy from where I was.
So after apologizing to Mischief for the lackluster show and saying that the others would be ok we went back to the hotel and made nice with all of the magi's. Finally went back to Claudia's, (And Andrew's and Mickey's whom I am not gonna mention), and started to rehearse for the stage contest at 8 IN THE AM!! Don't they know real performers sleep in past noon? I guess not. Anywho, after Mischief went to bed I managed to forge.. er.. aquire him a badge for...
Saturday: 3 hours of sleep, up at 6:30 in the AM, and getting things ready to go kill ourselves on stage. Got to the theater and unloaded and awaited our turn in line. Killed time talking to two gals, one of which I have known for many years but never really talked to. (Found out she used to be scared of the scary guy in the trenchcoat. Go fig. She took photos and video of the act, so I'll have that up when I get it.)
It's out turn to go up, and we break out like mad men. Mischief hits me with that bat hard as hell and the chase is on. We're giving it our all. We try out new material with the living vent act, and show off a few new things in the weird routine. We're done, we're changed, someone taped the act.. thank god.
Honestly, we thought that the second contestant was gonna beat us. A very good manipulation with CD's act. Strong stuff. The other acts were.. intresting. Another CD act, with an unresolved ending, a few comedy acts, a dove act (real doves, not boxes of soap), and a female magi whose act has good potential and nice gams. Contest over, many compliments by people whose opinions I valued were given. We managed to even fool them with one of my pet effects, the scarf thru the hand.
Back to the hotel. We're tired as hell. We laze about, walk around, watch lectures.. good lectures too. Charlie Frye was an awesome guy and killer peformer. The man could hat trick Kelly into an orgasm. The close up show was ok up until the end and then it kicked ass with Shoot Ogawa (A very nice and funny performer in Japan), and Armando, a man whose act could fry your brain in one sitting. Brilliant stuff. Evenign show for Saturday was SUPERB. Eric Mead MC'd and did a helluvajob. The show opened with a young guy named Dan Sperry from Chicago (Where my heart is) with a dove act that was actually enjoyable. Others included Wayne Dobson, a man suffering from MS in a wheelchair but that didna stop him from having everyone in pain with laughter. Damn he was funny. One of the highlights was a guy with a TV act that KILLED. (I believe his name is Tony Chapek) Brilliant stuff, especially in reverse. Show was over and back to the hotel for more mingle.
Mischief went out to meet a girl and left me there to fend for myself in the lobby and was the last one there. Seeing Shoot Ogawa a tad drunk was amusing and watching performers talk, teach, and perform is always great. I crashed out in a chair until Mischief got there and we were on the way back to.. BAM!! WTF was that? A piece of Houston had taken a bite out of the car. Oil pan damaged, car smoking, losing power. It was like the damn cardassians hit the enterprise. (I can't believe I just said that) Luckily enuff Andrew came to the rescue to take me to get ready to be funny at 8 in the AM for the close up competition. Which leads us to..
Sunday: I get to the hotel in time to set up and get in line for my turn to perform. Three rooms to perform in. The first ROCKED, the second I think is where they were putting the deceased con-goers, and the third room was a bit lax but still fun. After that, I took an hour nap until Shoot Ogawa's lecture. Good times. Got some food thanx to the generosity of someone's mom. Then it was time to see if we won anything.
In a word, Nope. In two words, nadda thing. In three words, WTF!! The one person no one expected to win did. From what I heard everyone who WASN'T a judge thought we should have taken it, but it was some tuxedo clad young kid doing doves and card manip. Gee thaz original. His act was rough... this isn't just saying this cuz' he won. It's the 13 years of performing experince telling me this. The guy we thought was gonna win was MAD! Cest' la vie. We didna go to win merely perform and have fun.. and we did. The fact we were the most talked about act that competed made me happy. As for close up, many compliments abounded, but still I lost to Cups and Balls and glitter covered lemons. Second time to lose to a tux and cups and balls. No more competing in TX for me.
Evening show rocked as much ass. Mac King is a god. (To quote P&T) Arden James lives up to the hype and Charlie Frye is a juggling dynamo. Closed out with an illusions how from a Canadian couple who werne't too bad. Their last illusion was very nice.
Once again back to the hotel. Watching people do shots from a thumb tip was well worth the 300$ I had to shell out to help repair the car.
Bizzaro.
We got in thursday night and went to check out the hotel. Ran into some people I know. Twas fun just sitting around learning new in-jokes and talking shop. We eventually ended up at my good friend Claudia's. (And her roomates. None of them even read this so I won't mention Andrew and Mickey's name. No point.) Went to bed in a coooomfy bed. Woke up on...
Friday: Went to shell out mah 125$ to register and compete. I remember when this con used to cost 65$. Guess they realized they was getting screwed. Oh well. Wandered around the dealers room a bit, saw some more friends and fiends and watched Oscar Munoz' lecture. A pretty lax day. Went to the evening show which was plauged by bad technical difficulties.. mainly the techies sucked. I told Mischief that the evening shows were the best part and I think Friday was the dress rehearsal for SUCK!! The opening act damn near killed a dove, had some dumb as a rock assistants and wore a god awful powder blue tux thing. I couldn't tell if he was a girl or a guy from where I was.
So after apologizing to Mischief for the lackluster show and saying that the others would be ok we went back to the hotel and made nice with all of the magi's. Finally went back to Claudia's, (And Andrew's and Mickey's whom I am not gonna mention), and started to rehearse for the stage contest at 8 IN THE AM!! Don't they know real performers sleep in past noon? I guess not. Anywho, after Mischief went to bed I managed to forge.. er.. aquire him a badge for...
Saturday: 3 hours of sleep, up at 6:30 in the AM, and getting things ready to go kill ourselves on stage. Got to the theater and unloaded and awaited our turn in line. Killed time talking to two gals, one of which I have known for many years but never really talked to. (Found out she used to be scared of the scary guy in the trenchcoat. Go fig. She took photos and video of the act, so I'll have that up when I get it.)
It's out turn to go up, and we break out like mad men. Mischief hits me with that bat hard as hell and the chase is on. We're giving it our all. We try out new material with the living vent act, and show off a few new things in the weird routine. We're done, we're changed, someone taped the act.. thank god.
Honestly, we thought that the second contestant was gonna beat us. A very good manipulation with CD's act. Strong stuff. The other acts were.. intresting. Another CD act, with an unresolved ending, a few comedy acts, a dove act (real doves, not boxes of soap), and a female magi whose act has good potential and nice gams. Contest over, many compliments by people whose opinions I valued were given. We managed to even fool them with one of my pet effects, the scarf thru the hand.
Back to the hotel. We're tired as hell. We laze about, walk around, watch lectures.. good lectures too. Charlie Frye was an awesome guy and killer peformer. The man could hat trick Kelly into an orgasm. The close up show was ok up until the end and then it kicked ass with Shoot Ogawa (A very nice and funny performer in Japan), and Armando, a man whose act could fry your brain in one sitting. Brilliant stuff. Evenign show for Saturday was SUPERB. Eric Mead MC'd and did a helluvajob. The show opened with a young guy named Dan Sperry from Chicago (Where my heart is) with a dove act that was actually enjoyable. Others included Wayne Dobson, a man suffering from MS in a wheelchair but that didna stop him from having everyone in pain with laughter. Damn he was funny. One of the highlights was a guy with a TV act that KILLED. (I believe his name is Tony Chapek) Brilliant stuff, especially in reverse. Show was over and back to the hotel for more mingle.
Mischief went out to meet a girl and left me there to fend for myself in the lobby and was the last one there. Seeing Shoot Ogawa a tad drunk was amusing and watching performers talk, teach, and perform is always great. I crashed out in a chair until Mischief got there and we were on the way back to.. BAM!! WTF was that? A piece of Houston had taken a bite out of the car. Oil pan damaged, car smoking, losing power. It was like the damn cardassians hit the enterprise. (I can't believe I just said that) Luckily enuff Andrew came to the rescue to take me to get ready to be funny at 8 in the AM for the close up competition. Which leads us to..
Sunday: I get to the hotel in time to set up and get in line for my turn to perform. Three rooms to perform in. The first ROCKED, the second I think is where they were putting the deceased con-goers, and the third room was a bit lax but still fun. After that, I took an hour nap until Shoot Ogawa's lecture. Good times. Got some food thanx to the generosity of someone's mom. Then it was time to see if we won anything.
In a word, Nope. In two words, nadda thing. In three words, WTF!! The one person no one expected to win did. From what I heard everyone who WASN'T a judge thought we should have taken it, but it was some tuxedo clad young kid doing doves and card manip. Gee thaz original. His act was rough... this isn't just saying this cuz' he won. It's the 13 years of performing experince telling me this. The guy we thought was gonna win was MAD! Cest' la vie. We didna go to win merely perform and have fun.. and we did. The fact we were the most talked about act that competed made me happy. As for close up, many compliments abounded, but still I lost to Cups and Balls and glitter covered lemons. Second time to lose to a tux and cups and balls. No more competing in TX for me.
Evening show rocked as much ass. Mac King is a god. (To quote P&T) Arden James lives up to the hype and Charlie Frye is a juggling dynamo. Closed out with an illusions how from a Canadian couple who werne't too bad. Their last illusion was very nice.
Once again back to the hotel. Watching people do shots from a thumb tip was well worth the 300$ I had to shell out to help repair the car.
Bizzaro.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Talk Hard
For anyone who has ever seen Pump up the Volume then you know what that means. If you haven't I suggest you find a copy and watch it with great intent and determination. The message is clear even if you are not.
In the flick a young Christian Slater runs a pirate radio station that leads his local skool to a bit of a revelation and revolution about themselves and their life. He was their voice when no one else thought they had their own. Today we have something similar and who do we have to thank for it? Andy? Goldstein? Swiss? Nope.. that badly dressed nazi Steve brooks over at Magic Cafe. Now mind you in his defense he just runs the site and he has little mini-nazis who run the site more than he does. He's just the furor of his own little home. (As he likes to call it.) If it wasn't for the blatant dis-regard for the respect of free will and the freedom of speech then we would not have the freedom fighter we have today as it were.
Originally a guy (Whose name I forget) started a "I hate Brooks" page and that got kinda shut down quick, but it was in the spirit of these events that I found The Magic Circle Jerk and I was inspired to start my own rant page. Not because he did it but I just had never thought of a good place to write about my venomous opinion on magic. Thus here we are.
At the end of the aforementioned flick many others found their voice and became their own pirate radio. (Yah and Rosebud was a sled screw you.) the MCJ has started a trend I rather enjoy. From Atomic Brew to the more recent The GunnSight people are slowly announcing their disdain for the state magic is in today.
Brings a tear to my brain.. really. Regardless it's good for people to see magic is not just the shiny happy facade we put on for the crowd. Magic is full of performers and man lemme tell yah.. performers are freekin' bent individuals. In some way or another we are all outcasts and if someone isn't.. then they are just a prick with few friends anyway. Regardless we're all damaged. Deal with it. So raise your voices high and if you got something to say... say it. No one is gonna stop you cuz' the FCC and clear channel can't even touch us here... yet.
Talk Hard
Bizzaro.
For anyone who has ever seen Pump up the Volume then you know what that means. If you haven't I suggest you find a copy and watch it with great intent and determination. The message is clear even if you are not.
In the flick a young Christian Slater runs a pirate radio station that leads his local skool to a bit of a revelation and revolution about themselves and their life. He was their voice when no one else thought they had their own. Today we have something similar and who do we have to thank for it? Andy? Goldstein? Swiss? Nope.. that badly dressed nazi Steve brooks over at Magic Cafe. Now mind you in his defense he just runs the site and he has little mini-nazis who run the site more than he does. He's just the furor of his own little home. (As he likes to call it.) If it wasn't for the blatant dis-regard for the respect of free will and the freedom of speech then we would not have the freedom fighter we have today as it were.
Originally a guy (Whose name I forget) started a "I hate Brooks" page and that got kinda shut down quick, but it was in the spirit of these events that I found The Magic Circle Jerk and I was inspired to start my own rant page. Not because he did it but I just had never thought of a good place to write about my venomous opinion on magic. Thus here we are.
At the end of the aforementioned flick many others found their voice and became their own pirate radio. (Yah and Rosebud was a sled screw you.) the MCJ has started a trend I rather enjoy. From Atomic Brew to the more recent The GunnSight people are slowly announcing their disdain for the state magic is in today.
Brings a tear to my brain.. really. Regardless it's good for people to see magic is not just the shiny happy facade we put on for the crowd. Magic is full of performers and man lemme tell yah.. performers are freekin' bent individuals. In some way or another we are all outcasts and if someone isn't.. then they are just a prick with few friends anyway. Regardless we're all damaged. Deal with it. So raise your voices high and if you got something to say... say it. No one is gonna stop you cuz' the FCC and clear channel can't even touch us here... yet.
Talk Hard
Bizzaro.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Ever wonder how magic guys get them good looking chicks? Simple.. they have a solid gold penis. I don't mean the solid gold like that bad dance show but like Goldmember gold. God knows it's not their looks, money, or personality.. it can't be.
Seriously folks, how many times do you hear people like David Coppertone wax poetic about how, "I was picked on in skool, no one liked me, girls wouldn't talk to me, I was shy, I had to walk home uphill both ways, our father would kill us a half hour before we had to wake up and etc etc.", and thus they turned to magic like so many smack addicts (Not the Ramen, the drug.) Thus because no one hugged them enuff and the last time they were close to a woman's genitals was when they were born, magic became their outlet to personality. This is my theory as to why so many stage magicians are dripping with (Insert vulgar term for female genitalia here) onstage while yet still having NO viable personality on stage.
At least that is what it used to be. Now it's grown from not only that to the fact that in the 80's that became the acceptable idea of what stage illusion was like. (Besides, hot chicks, loud music, leather jackets, bad hair - Who wouldn't want that?) Not only that it has also crept into female magicians acts like Melinda and Connie Boyd. Oiled up biker looking guys prancing around stage playing the part of the estranged love interest. Way to be original there gals.. really.
Hell even the magic guys who love the kok use femmes in their stage show... and why not? Sex sells. Yer target audience is male, why not exploit them like so many strippers have before? Mind you there is a dynamic that when onstage is better between a male and female. Seeing two guys onstage cuddling up close after they walk thru a giant fan might be, for some, alluring... however to the general public and most of the south, it's a bit un-nerving.
So yah... magicians keep gurls around to feel better about themselves, see naked chicks backstage, find a date, find a wife, find themselves.... whatever the reason it boils down to one thing. You still have to pay them.
Who sez it doesn't pay to be a propstitute?
Bizzaro.
(Join me next time for my rant on the "Care and feeding of your white tiger." or "How to get out of a contract by wearing meat flavored underpants.")
Seriously folks, how many times do you hear people like David Coppertone wax poetic about how, "I was picked on in skool, no one liked me, girls wouldn't talk to me, I was shy, I had to walk home uphill both ways, our father would kill us a half hour before we had to wake up and etc etc.", and thus they turned to magic like so many smack addicts (Not the Ramen, the drug.) Thus because no one hugged them enuff and the last time they were close to a woman's genitals was when they were born, magic became their outlet to personality. This is my theory as to why so many stage magicians are dripping with (Insert vulgar term for female genitalia here) onstage while yet still having NO viable personality on stage.
At least that is what it used to be. Now it's grown from not only that to the fact that in the 80's that became the acceptable idea of what stage illusion was like. (Besides, hot chicks, loud music, leather jackets, bad hair - Who wouldn't want that?) Not only that it has also crept into female magicians acts like Melinda and Connie Boyd. Oiled up biker looking guys prancing around stage playing the part of the estranged love interest. Way to be original there gals.. really.
Hell even the magic guys who love the kok use femmes in their stage show... and why not? Sex sells. Yer target audience is male, why not exploit them like so many strippers have before? Mind you there is a dynamic that when onstage is better between a male and female. Seeing two guys onstage cuddling up close after they walk thru a giant fan might be, for some, alluring... however to the general public and most of the south, it's a bit un-nerving.
So yah... magicians keep gurls around to feel better about themselves, see naked chicks backstage, find a date, find a wife, find themselves.... whatever the reason it boils down to one thing. You still have to pay them.
Who sez it doesn't pay to be a propstitute?
Bizzaro.
(Join me next time for my rant on the "Care and feeding of your white tiger." or "How to get out of a contract by wearing meat flavored underpants.")
Monday, August 23, 2004
What's in a name?
Sorry I haven't posted in a bit. Been kinda busy not paying attention to the site. (it's rough man.) Like I have said before, I dunno who reads this that often (Save for like two people who are friends. Yes I have friends. Not too many in the magic community, but still friends. I am prolly better off that way.) Regardless I don't want to just rant to rant. I want to do so when I have something to say. Preferably something new as well. I could repost about how much I think magic is a capitalist hell hole. I could yammer on and on about the lack of originality and personality in most magic acts.. but I think one post about that is good enuff... and if yer too damn lazy to find it and read it go read something that never gets stale.
Ever notice how people who call themselves exclusively a magician first and their name second or include the title magician in their name tend to be hobbyists. Usually people who are not serious enuff to live the lifestyle that comes with the ups and downs of the professional entertainment business?
Sure people like Lance Burton and Mac King call themselves magi's but you have to have a trade off. People still recognize the title magician and all that it entails. You say entertainer they think yer a stripper. You say artist they think yer broke. You say mime.. well you just get laughed at but thaz asides the point. Lance and Mac still use their real names and people recognized that because they had good enuff character or originality or charm to get past the title magician. Also publicists just put magician in the title of anyone who does magic. It sells. It's easy.
The point is many of the people who are hobbyists make that the main attraction. The magic done by a magician. Not magic done by so-and-so. It's when yer name carries more power than your occupation that you are on yer way to becoming a serious presenter of the arts in which you love.
Too many names and faces are interchangeable. Make sure that yer one that will stay in their minds... forever.
Bizzaro.
Sorry I haven't posted in a bit. Been kinda busy not paying attention to the site. (it's rough man.) Like I have said before, I dunno who reads this that often (Save for like two people who are friends. Yes I have friends. Not too many in the magic community, but still friends. I am prolly better off that way.) Regardless I don't want to just rant to rant. I want to do so when I have something to say. Preferably something new as well. I could repost about how much I think magic is a capitalist hell hole. I could yammer on and on about the lack of originality and personality in most magic acts.. but I think one post about that is good enuff... and if yer too damn lazy to find it and read it go read something that never gets stale.
Ever notice how people who call themselves exclusively a magician first and their name second or include the title magician in their name tend to be hobbyists. Usually people who are not serious enuff to live the lifestyle that comes with the ups and downs of the professional entertainment business?
Sure people like Lance Burton and Mac King call themselves magi's but you have to have a trade off. People still recognize the title magician and all that it entails. You say entertainer they think yer a stripper. You say artist they think yer broke. You say mime.. well you just get laughed at but thaz asides the point. Lance and Mac still use their real names and people recognized that because they had good enuff character or originality or charm to get past the title magician. Also publicists just put magician in the title of anyone who does magic. It sells. It's easy.
The point is many of the people who are hobbyists make that the main attraction. The magic done by a magician. Not magic done by so-and-so. It's when yer name carries more power than your occupation that you are on yer way to becoming a serious presenter of the arts in which you love.
Too many names and faces are interchangeable. Make sure that yer one that will stay in their minds... forever.
Bizzaro.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Why do I hate the internet and magicians who aren't on the up and up with their audience? Let me share with a conversation with a fellow who messaged me recently..
Magicdewd: I am a close-up and street magician
Magicdewd: I perform hit and run magic like David Blaine
Ok the first sentence is fine, the second makes me want to kill people. It is because of guys like Blaine, (but mostly Blaine himself), that make people think it's ok to screw with strangers on the street. You bother the wrong guy in the wrong part of town yer gonna get a non-color changing knife in the gut. Anywho..
Magicdewd: I like snowstorm in china and crushed and resurrected can
Well yah who doesn't? Wait.. Snowstorm in China is a street trick? Did I miss a memo? Isn't that called littering. In Texas we KILL people who do that. Remember that whole don't mess with TX campaign? Yah that wasn't working so now they have road side snipers set up in some places to take out people who litter. We import them from Canada because Canadians are good at two things - Hockey & sniping.
By the way when he said crushed and resurrected can he meant Anders Moden's Healed & Sealed that Blaine performed and then was ripped of numerous times by unscrupulous magicians all over the world. I corrected him on his usage of the phrasing and his response?
Magicdewd: i gave it a new name
Well thaz nice of you to do. I am sure the inventor appreciates that! So lessee what else amuses me at 7 in the AM about this. He sez he puts the can under a bench and waits for someone to sit down.
Magicdewd: I arrive dressed as a street cleaner pick up the can and pick it up saying isn't disgraceful how people litter
Magicdewd: Then i magically heal and seal it and walk away drinking it
Magicdewd: (insert annoying laughing smiley icon thing here)
Magicdewd: The look on their face
He told me he doesn't do this for money just to amuse himself basically. I can dig that.. but dressing up like a street worker? Isn't that also illegal? The thing that almost made me shake my head was this revelation that is usually spouted by people who are fux0red on drugs and booze and find jeebus in a hotel drawer. (In Las Vegas the Gideons put porn mags in our drawer... thaz Vegas for you I guess.)
Magicdewd: i was depressed, i almost committed suicide
Magicdewd: buut then i found magic
Granted it's not nice to make fun of that, but I doubt he will see this, and I did change the name so no one knows who it is. Regardless, I am sick of magic being too readily accessible to people who just wanna do it as a hobby and not treat it seriously. I have complained about this many times in these rant pages and I will continue to do so until I tire of it or I take my own life with a set of linking ropes.
Please people, it's like inbreeding.. yer not only hurting yourself but others around you.
Bizzaro.
Magicdewd: I am a close-up and street magician
Magicdewd: I perform hit and run magic like David Blaine
Ok the first sentence is fine, the second makes me want to kill people. It is because of guys like Blaine, (but mostly Blaine himself), that make people think it's ok to screw with strangers on the street. You bother the wrong guy in the wrong part of town yer gonna get a non-color changing knife in the gut. Anywho..
Magicdewd: I like snowstorm in china and crushed and resurrected can
Well yah who doesn't? Wait.. Snowstorm in China is a street trick? Did I miss a memo? Isn't that called littering. In Texas we KILL people who do that. Remember that whole don't mess with TX campaign? Yah that wasn't working so now they have road side snipers set up in some places to take out people who litter. We import them from Canada because Canadians are good at two things - Hockey & sniping.
By the way when he said crushed and resurrected can he meant Anders Moden's Healed & Sealed that Blaine performed and then was ripped of numerous times by unscrupulous magicians all over the world. I corrected him on his usage of the phrasing and his response?
Magicdewd: i gave it a new name
Well thaz nice of you to do. I am sure the inventor appreciates that! So lessee what else amuses me at 7 in the AM about this. He sez he puts the can under a bench and waits for someone to sit down.
Magicdewd: I arrive dressed as a street cleaner pick up the can and pick it up saying isn't disgraceful how people litter
Magicdewd: Then i magically heal and seal it and walk away drinking it
Magicdewd: (insert annoying laughing smiley icon thing here)
Magicdewd: The look on their face
He told me he doesn't do this for money just to amuse himself basically. I can dig that.. but dressing up like a street worker? Isn't that also illegal? The thing that almost made me shake my head was this revelation that is usually spouted by people who are fux0red on drugs and booze and find jeebus in a hotel drawer. (In Las Vegas the Gideons put porn mags in our drawer... thaz Vegas for you I guess.)
Magicdewd: i was depressed, i almost committed suicide
Magicdewd: buut then i found magic
Granted it's not nice to make fun of that, but I doubt he will see this, and I did change the name so no one knows who it is. Regardless, I am sick of magic being too readily accessible to people who just wanna do it as a hobby and not treat it seriously. I have complained about this many times in these rant pages and I will continue to do so until I tire of it or I take my own life with a set of linking ropes.
Please people, it's like inbreeding.. yer not only hurting yourself but others around you.
Bizzaro.
Monday, August 02, 2004
And now time for "I have nothing to say so let's talk about strippers!!!"
Ok actually I do have something to say about that actually regarding magic. A lot of people are of the opinion that strippers are worthless and sluts and whores. (Pot, kettle, something about a dark color.) Anywho, hanging out in the alternative scene you meet a great many people who are of the theory, "If they are stupid enuff to give me the money I am gonna take it." The story usually goes that they are dancing to make money for college. This is usually a half truth. It's for college and smack. (Not the Ramen) However I actually know a few who REALLY don't drink or drug it up but really do dance for skool cash.
Ok enuff of the history of exotic dancers, (What a pritty way to say "Girl who gets nekkid for cash" hunh?), because I do have a point. Lemme find it. (looks around) ah there it is... ok so yer looking for a magic assistant who will work cheap, is comfy on stage, and isn't afraid to wear the cloth equivalent of kleenix. Well you could try yer local college theater group and end up with some prima donna bitch who wants to be paid for she is a serious artiste. Yah whatever. Why not find a stripper? They have all you want and more!! (Assuming more means silicone. I recommend not using that substance in yer magic act unless it's in yer d'lites.)
So yah thaz my point. Yah need someone to do magic with you. Visit a few strip clubs, study the gals, talk to them, pay them for having to talk to you, and then see if they wanna work for yahz. Who knows in the end you might even find a life partner.
Now gimmie a lap dance... I have a pizza.
Bizzaro.
Ok actually I do have something to say about that actually regarding magic. A lot of people are of the opinion that strippers are worthless and sluts and whores. (Pot, kettle, something about a dark color.) Anywho, hanging out in the alternative scene you meet a great many people who are of the theory, "If they are stupid enuff to give me the money I am gonna take it." The story usually goes that they are dancing to make money for college. This is usually a half truth. It's for college and smack. (Not the Ramen) However I actually know a few who REALLY don't drink or drug it up but really do dance for skool cash.
Ok enuff of the history of exotic dancers, (What a pritty way to say "Girl who gets nekkid for cash" hunh?), because I do have a point. Lemme find it. (looks around) ah there it is... ok so yer looking for a magic assistant who will work cheap, is comfy on stage, and isn't afraid to wear the cloth equivalent of kleenix. Well you could try yer local college theater group and end up with some prima donna bitch who wants to be paid for she is a serious artiste. Yah whatever. Why not find a stripper? They have all you want and more!! (Assuming more means silicone. I recommend not using that substance in yer magic act unless it's in yer d'lites.)
So yah thaz my point. Yah need someone to do magic with you. Visit a few strip clubs, study the gals, talk to them, pay them for having to talk to you, and then see if they wanna work for yahz. Who knows in the end you might even find a life partner.
Now gimmie a lap dance... I have a pizza.
Bizzaro.
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Moichendising!!!
First off everyone should listen to more Billy Joel to mellow out if you are too uptight. This however has nothing to do with my post here. I am all about shlepping products that bear your moniker to promote yourself. I have been known to dabble in it from time to time myself. However, I think putting out something just because A: you know it will sell and B: it only slightly ties into your show is a bit egotistical. If it were done as a joke then that would be fine but as we all know, and I have said far too many times, magic is about capitalism more than entertainment nowadays. Again, this isn't true in everyone in magic, but there are too many cases for it that against it. (I am making NO friends in magic with this blog I just know it.)
So before you give your seal of approval to yer marketing team for cute plushy inflatable easily burnable flashy light up anythings... consider your integrity. That is.. if you haven't sold it on eBay for a can of cheeze wiz and some crackers.
Bizzaro.
First off everyone should listen to more Billy Joel to mellow out if you are too uptight. This however has nothing to do with my post here. I am all about shlepping products that bear your moniker to promote yourself. I have been known to dabble in it from time to time myself. However, I think putting out something just because A: you know it will sell and B: it only slightly ties into your show is a bit egotistical. If it were done as a joke then that would be fine but as we all know, and I have said far too many times, magic is about capitalism more than entertainment nowadays. Again, this isn't true in everyone in magic, but there are too many cases for it that against it. (I am making NO friends in magic with this blog I just know it.)
So before you give your seal of approval to yer marketing team for cute plushy inflatable easily burnable flashy light up anythings... consider your integrity. That is.. if you haven't sold it on eBay for a can of cheeze wiz and some crackers.
Bizzaro.
Friday, July 16, 2004
Every so often I like to see what is new in magic to see if someone has created something I might can use for my own nefarious little purposes. I am always amused...
(there was a buncha funny stuf f here but Blogger ate it so I am just gonna make my point without examples for now.)
I don't think this post had a point except try to remember, yer new magic product is not as kool as you think it is so don't over charge for it. Just because YOU think it's a clever name doesn't mean everyone will. Try not to dress like a fop. That has nothing to do with marketing.. just trust me on this.
Bizzaro.
(there was a buncha funny stuf f here but Blogger ate it so I am just gonna make my point without examples for now.)
I don't think this post had a point except try to remember, yer new magic product is not as kool as you think it is so don't over charge for it. Just because YOU think it's a clever name doesn't mean everyone will. Try not to dress like a fop. That has nothing to do with marketing.. just trust me on this.
Bizzaro.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
As a proponent of females in magic and not perpetrating a stereo type I am torn on performers like this. I am glad to see someone using their talents and knowledge of herpetology, but even snake handlers can't escape the humdrum use of overplayed illusions such as Origami and sawing in half.
Just because you make the box look like something else doesn't change the fact it's the same damn thing everyone else has been doing for years.. but hey it makes money. Art is never cheap... However not everything is art. I dunno what the difference between helping an image and hurting one is.. but I can sure trace a thin line around it when I see it.
Bizzaro.
Just because you make the box look like something else doesn't change the fact it's the same damn thing everyone else has been doing for years.. but hey it makes money. Art is never cheap... However not everything is art. I dunno what the difference between helping an image and hurting one is.. but I can sure trace a thin line around it when I see it.
Bizzaro.
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