Why am I stuck in magician Hell?

David Blaine is an Asshat

You know it's funny. I started this Blog as an idea I gleaned from another mage type guy... ish. (Whose link can be seen on the right. I'm too tired to html it in right now. Bite me.) I have NO clue how many read this. It could be ONE guy it could be 25.. it could be any number of people. I don't advertise it very much because my opinions are very brash and all of my own thinking. (Free thinking is frowned upon in some magic circles.) So that means I have been writing in this thing for almost half a year. (I'm not there yet but I am close.. hmm that sounded dirty.) I don't know if anyone cares what I write, values my opinion, or takes it to heart.. and you know what? I don't really care. This is for me to get these thoughts out of my head and maybe, just maybe, educate someone.. thru the charming power of hate.

So that brings me to tonight's little rant and rave. David Blaine is an Asshat. Yes that's right. The mulatto looking, down syndrome talking, video editing mofo that he is has given certain types of magic a bad name... but only to us. That's right, only the magicians give two tugs of a dead dog's kok about David Blaine or what he does on TV. Sure sleeping in a clear death trap was frowned upon by mage and layperson alike, (There has to be a better word than layperson... I personally always liked "Mundanes"), but his TV shows, books, and god help us if he ever puts out his own salad dressing, sells. Why is this? Is it the fact that he is far more attractive than anyone else. ("Not good looking for the world, but good looking for a magician" - Penn Jillette) Could it be the fact he did something groundbreaking? Could it possibly he has the slimiest pack of production crew I have seen in some time... ummmmmmmmm could be.

I have no problem with this wanker. Never met him. He might be a nice guy. I'll never know. (I am sure the girls that he and Leo double team think he's very nice.) However I think his ideals are misplaced. He uses video editing to omit important parts of a routine. Ok so thaz fine, but don't have someone say, "This is EXACTLY what you would see if you were here right now". It comes off a bit hypocritical. Also the lousy flotation editing... that chapped my ass worse than anal sex. (Mind you I have nothing to compare that to. I am just assuming.) I don't wanna hear from ANYBODY, "Well they were just representing what it looks like to people in their minds". My ass. It's TV. Don't exploit people for your ratings and good name. I know it's our job to lie to people but damn. Have you no morals... or did someone buy them from you for a pretty penny?

Then there is his Hay-'suess complex. Raising the dead, feeding the hungry and poor.. what's next fishes and loaves? There is something evil behind his eyes and you can spot it. In his first special when he is walking towards a child in the distance. Lighthearted Magician.. or child molesting kidnapper? You be the judge. I think the biggest problem I have is that he glorified street magic as a person to person performance and while you can make money that way, a real street performer either robs you blind with three card monte or gathers a large crowd via a small stage show. Ok so why is this bad you ask? The kids these days. They believe what they are told more now than ever. TV, internet, and print has more hold on their reality than ever it did. They think this is the way to perform street magic. There was once a time when this was no big deal. Kids doing shabby magic for a birthday party or skool show. Not a lot of harm done that wasn't already there. Now it's gone to the streets. Out in public places, approaching people dressed like a street bum trying to freek them out. David Blaine gets away with it cuz' HE has a video camera and production crew. You are emulating that which you do not have and also what you do not know. It takes YEARS of practice to perform a trick for someone, and only a few seconds to ruin it for all the rest of us. Please stop sucking in public. Take it indoors away from everyone else. Stop believing everything you see on TV and the net. Research things, educate yourself, and PAY THE HELL ATTENTION TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU!!!

You're not David Blaine which means yer not an Asshat. You don't wanna be an Asshat do you? I didn't think so...

Bizzaro.