MOICHENDISING!!

Seeing as I do tend to bitch about the capitalist nature of the magic community AND release my own filthy products into the world like strange little lampreys for your brain, I figured I should talk a bit about it all.

There is a difference between putting out crappy one shot effects that are merely variations on a theme or things that only work under "test conditions" and releasing stuff that is truly unique and has enough flexibility to be used by almost everyone. I will be the FIRST person to admit to the Merch High one can get form seeing your name on something packaged all pretty and shiny for mass consumption. It really hit me when I released Helter Shelter: The Movie.

It took many months of production and editing etc, but when it was all said and done I don't have to do anything else to make money but sell the damn thing. Now consider how easy it has become for almost anyone with a half-baked idea to release their lack luster products. Places like Murphy's Magic who cater to every wanker with a product. How easy it is to make a good chunk of money in one fell swoop... it can be intoxicating.

Problem is, like any addiction, it can get out of hand. You release one hit, and then you just go crazy because the youth in magic will purchase almost anything with your name on it assuming, it too, will be gold. The money rolls in and you keep rolling out mediocre product. It's a never ending cycle. Most people release their pet effects because they know it will sell. They release half done ideas because they need the money and it's EASY!!

Just keep in mind a quote from SHADE: "You have to ask yourself, is it about the money... or the art?" There is a fine line between the two. Don't get caught up in the hype of your name in lights. This is fickle business where the latest and greatest comes out every other week. Your moment in the sun will be brief unless you truly have something that is well thought out and lasting to offer.

Don't become a statistic.

Bizzaro.

We're almost a movie title...

It appears I have made almost 300 posts in this journal since it began 4+ years ago. I can't believe I am still writing in this thing or that ANYBODY reads it. Regardless, I was writing up an effect for a contest on The Astonishment Project and realized I haven't touched on various forms of misdirection really.

One of my personal faves is Time Misdirection. It is SO simple yet so very effective. The best part is it's invisible and can last as long as you want. From a mere moment (For those who don't know, a moment last three seconds) to three minutes and 64 grains of sand. Regardless, it is a powerful and seldom used tool in most magician's arsenal. Most use it and don't even know they are doing it. (Usually because they are prattling on and people lose interest/ focus.)

A good, yet annoying example of time misdirection is the criss-cross force. (If you don't know what that is, it's when you force a card on someone while wearing your clothes backwards) Time misdirection occurs when you use oregeno.. er.. thyme to take their mind off something that recently occurred. It could be a question, a hand motion, or a knife in the eye. Any one of those will suffice. Even having someone else shuffle the deck works wonders for helping them forget something that just happened.

Mind you, since we have the attention of a horny ferret on speed, it's not hard to make people forget what just happened mere moments ago. Can you even remember how this article started off? I bet not. See? Time misdirection works wonders!!

Like magic... but cheaper.

Bizzaro.

In this day and age of TIT (Total Information Technology - Thank you Robin Williams) it's amazing that we can do so much and yet so little at the same...... time.....

Let's take magicians websites for one. I like to dredge this subject up from time to time in hopes that someone somewhere will realize their website sucks so bad and either take it down or take their own life. Now I could offer you up a heaping helping of advice... but I'd rather let these guys do it.

First off, clip art should be ILLEGAL. Anything from the 80's you happened to find on an old floppy disk.. step away. Slowly.

Second, don't use Front Page. EVER. Seriously. It shows. Everyone knows it too.

Problem is a magic website (That isn't whoring out it's soul as a merch site) should primarily be used as an online promo kit. Not your personal photo album. No one cares about your photos of you with other magicians no one has ever heard of outside of magic.

If the only photos of you performing are grainy shots of your back doing ambitious card for the local blue haired bingo club, then it's best not to have them up at all. Instead of blowing your money on the newest magic DVD or cheaply made miracle, save that cash and invest in some professional photos and maybe even a web designer. Hell, I am sure you have a friend who needs to eat that can make a website. Why not feed them in trade?

Also... and this one is important.. if you are to look professional, then make sure your website has an honest to Bob registered name. If your website has Angelfire or Tripod before it you might as well just hang it up. It's cheap and easy (like your mom) to get a domain name. Look into it. While yer at it, why not consider something clever like www.sleepwithcj.com. Something people will remember or want to go to. Also avoid something like www.theamazingmagicofcharlestheamazingdouchebag.com

There is a myriad of ways to improve your online status. These are just a few hints.

I'm only trying to help.

Bizzaro.

WE HAVE A WINNAH!!!

I knew if I stuck it out long enuff, someone would get it. (That sounded dirty didn't it?) In the homestretch, someone managed to pick up on one of my hidden clues. That individual is Helen Held! (So send me an email with yer address yo)

It was a long hard uphill battle for most of you and I want to personally thank everyone who participated: Rafael, Kolisar, Christopher, and of course Brendan (And his wife for trying to snake the prizes out from under him to use as leverage for.. who knows.) I'm always happy when I put forth effort and you folks reciprocate. It makes all of my evil machinations seem worthwhile. (If I forgot to thank anyone who ventured a guess, sorry. You can bitch later)

So for those who want to know the answer to the question... tuff. You wanna know, you have to email me. (You'll be glad you did)

Now this journal can return to it's regular dose of ranting and raving for your amusement and my pacification. Remember to keep your dial here for all the news that's fit to print.. and some that isn't.

This still isn't a clue......

Bizzaro.

It's Aboot Closure...

On this craptastic commercialism inspired holiday, I think we should celebrate what we love not what we can buy for someone. If you love something, do it. Materialistic BS means nothing.... unless yer shallow.

On that note let's talk about buying stuff you love!! Since the contest has yet to have a winner, I am going to extend it over the weekend, for those who may not have had the time this week. However, on Sunday at 11:59 all doors will be closed.

That's not all!! Your uncle Bizzaro also offers up this deal for you!! Until the end of the contest (See above) everything in the Bizzaro Store is HALF OFF!! That's right, just like me!! So now is thee time to buy something for the one you hold dear... YOU!!

Just email, and we'll hook you up! Remember: No one loves you like Bizzaro... Well except maybe for that catholic priest.

So There!

Bizzaro.

Here's something to challenge yourself with while you figure out the last clue in our contest...

Take some plots in magic that haven't been flogged to death and make up your own version. Not necessarily for performance, but perfect them like you are going to perform them. It's interesting how much more educating and fulfilling something is when you work it our all by your lonesome than just riding along the wave of someone else's work.

This isn't to say that you should let the work of others influence you. Pick and choose ideas and subtleties from other tricks. New magic effects are like gumbo. Everyone makes it differently and puts different stuff into the pot.

Have you seen an all backs routine with merit, but you don't like the ending? Fix it. Perhaps you like the idea of a color changing triumph, but aren't terribly keen on anyone's handling. Make your own!

By challenging yourself, you discover a lot about yourself and your ability to create and decipher puzzles. Sometimes the answer...

is right in front of you.

Bizzaro.

Eternal Salvation....

Or triple your money back!!! Thaz right, one last chance (And we mean it this time) to take advantage of my generosity for the MuThErLoDe contest!! No one would DARE give you this many chances, but I want SOMEONE to win!! Mind you, I am not gonna make this last clue any easier on you. SO far we have had some top notch detective work and jolly good guesses. This last clue should reveal all... I hope. (Every new round gets you one guess. If you have already played, you get ONE last chance this round.)



You have until Valentines Day.

Bizzaro.