Why am I stuck in magician Hell?

Till' Death Device do us part...

Relationships and magic. A touchy subject whot? Will you get involved with a gal who TOLERATES what you do? Perhaps find solace with someone who wants to learn. (Good luck on that one) Did you find your wife or girlfriend with the express purpose of looking for a new magic assistant? Did you marry your magic assistant?

If you can answer any of these questions then today's post will be relevant to you. I know a great deal of magi who are intertwined with fambly and ankle biters. This places a whole new twist on your life. More money is needed for mouths to feed. More space is needed for more crapola. Those dreams of a world tour.. most likely GONE!!! Generally your significant other will become part of your business whether they like it or not. From wardrobe, to business, to talent, you never know. Of course in some cases your kids will be part of the show too. Magic is a family affair... which can be a bad thing in some cases.

We use or loved ones because why? Thaz right they are cheap labor. They work for love... SUCKERS!!! However this leads to problems. Marital bliss spiraling down? Looks like you need a new assistant (or stage manager, or seamstress, or.. whatever.) Accidentally hurt them onstage? Yer ass is sleeping on the couch tonight. It's tough to work with the ones we see naked on a regular basis. Ok so that is if they work for us/ with us... now what about the girlfriends.. BEFORE you commit yourself.

Sometimes we use magic to attract others. (like a fan of cards is equal to a peacock's tail feathers or something?) It's an ice breaker and confidence builder. Lowers defenses and humor acclimates anyone quickly. (Assuming yer funny and not just funny looking.) However once the novelty wears off, thaz when they start in with "Why don't you get a real job?" or something like that. Ah yes, so much for the afterglow. If anyone ever asks you to get a real job and stop that silly magic stuff or they are leaving, tell them to pick a card and then say, "Was yours the don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out"? and wave goodbye with a card fan. A good significant other is supportive of your dream and not selfish to their own. Let's face it artists are not easy to date and it takes a LOT or patience to even wanna consider being with a magician for long periods of time.

So the moral of today's story is don't date anyone who doesn't like what you do or just simply "puts up with it". Also if you plan on having a serious magic career DON'T have kids. Not until you can support a fambly. Seriously. I have seen too many go down that path.. and now that path is strewn with bills and not magic. I'm just here for your own good..

Bizzaro.