A quick aside...

I will return to my DVD guide tomorrow. I was out of town doing a gig. Until then here is a thought: Have you ever noticed how a band with a shitty name is not that good?

I would say the same goes for certain magic effects being released lately.

DVD Guide pt 3: Program not found....

Here is where things can get hairy. How to commit your DVD to disc. 

For those lazy fucks who own a Macintosh computer you will just run to imovie and throw together a template and be so proud of yourself. Well let me tell you something sonny Jim, that shit is weak and everyone who owns a mac will look at that and know just how little you spent making that 35$ DVD. (Up until Windows 8, PC users could do the same but who the hell used Windows DVD maker... I mean really?)

There are a myriad of 3rd party programs that can help you create a disc with a passable menu. Some free, some not so free, and even some that are inbetween. A quick google searh will lead you to many of those options. Hell, most DVD burning software like Roxio and Nero come with DVD making programs now. I personally use Encore (Which is no longer supported by Adobe but you can still get it and use it) but there are other higher end programs like DVD Studio Pro for Mac or Vegas Movie Studio.

Most DVD authoring programs are focusing on Blu-Ray since that is "the future". However magic is such a small market that it's not financially feasible to make Blu-Ray discs yet. Thus we are stuck with standard definition DVDs. The one thing I have noticed is that very few people know how to make a good DVD menu. It's either a template or a super basic menu. There are a lot of awesome things you can do with a DVD menu.... yet no one knows how.

I encourage some of you to take the time to learn how to make kick ass DVD menus. It will not only make you a commodity but will make your products look more professional. (of course if you can't wrap your feeble little brain around it, there are guys like me willing to take your money to do what you can't)

Now go forth and make your DVD menus less sucky for tomorrow we move on to the next chapter!

DVD Guide pt 2: Music to your jeers...

Continuing on from yesterday on our discussion of making less sucky DVD magic videos, let's talk about music. I touched on it yesterday about title cards (and on various other posts throughout the years) but today I want to talk about the use of music over all.

The best course of action everyone will tell you to cover your ass with is to use royalty free music the problem comes with that a lot of royalty free music sounds like... royalty free music. Especially if you get it from a free stock music website. There are places like Pond5 and Getty Images that have better music for sale but you run the risk of using a song that other people have also bought and used.

You do want to stray from copyrighted music if you are selling a DVD (even though realistically the chances of ASCAP or Columbia records coming after a small time magician are slim to none) but that doesn't mean you can't use "real" music. The world is full of independent artists that aren't tied to a record company and have control over who uses their music. Make nice with these people and see if they will let you use their tunes. Trade to do some shows for them or some such or even kick them some cash. (Results may vary depending on your country of origin)

Ah but what about the musically inclined of you who can strum a guitar like some douche sitting under a tree on a college campus? I'm not going to say not to put your own music onto your DVD but I will try and discourage it.

What really helps is to have a vision and feel for the over all project so you can decide what kind of music to use. If it's a card magic video, maybe hard core rock rap or dubstep isn't the way to go. Spooky bizarre magic? Maybe don't use folk music. If you are going to play music behind your explanations, go for something sedate and not obvious.

There is no "right" way to go about all of this but I bet you all know a few wrong ways. Tomorrow? We get to Authorin'!

Web of lies...

Today someone pointed out that I missed Monday to start my DVD making guide. Instead of going back in time and just editing the post to not make me a liar I will just throw myself upon my sword thru neck and be a day late.

That being said, allow me to lay upon you my "Guide to Magic DVD Production".

Let's start with the basics: Video Chapters.

If I have learned one thing watching magic DVDs it's that you guys LOVE to put redundant title cards at the beginning of every... damn... chapter. The worst part of that is it's the SAME animation or video with the SAME shitty music. Allow me to break something down for you that will make your DVD less annoying to those watching it.

Unless the title cards add something to the forthcoming video, don't bother!

Redundant titles with the same piece of music get boring fast. If you can put a piece of footage that is about to demonstrate what you are about to see or learn next it's much more engaging. If your video is not structured that way then just use a "dip to black" transition and put a text title up over the teaching footage for a few seconds.

Also there is nothing wrong with using the same song over title cards but it should be a different part of the same song. Not the exact same piece of music constantly. That's just lazy.

So remember, if you simply must put something before the next chapter:

• Make it different footage/music every time
• Have it relate to what you are about to learn/see
• It better be short.

Speaking of titles, if you use a program that lets you create your own chapter points it's ok to have chapters stuck in at various parts of the timeline that don't necessarily have a solid link somewhere. Think of it like having a break in a paragraph. If the subject you are discussing is long, throw a point in when you veer off subject onto a related topic. It will make it easier for people to skip thru and find what they are looking for instead of fast forwarding thru 20 minutes of your annoying voice.

Speaking of music... we'll cover that in the next installment.

Let your CD-ROM be your guide...

Hello there faithful smappdoodles!

I decided that next week I am going to present my "Guide to making magic DVDs". Check back Monday for the first installment.

I have no idea whose feelings I am going to hurt this time...

This isn't about magic...

but it kinda is.
 
Pay attention.

Tricks I hate...

Snap Silks. Hate that trick. Always have.

It never seemed like magic to me. However to offset my last ranty post here is a video of a guy using them in a way I actually liked.


For me this kind of comedy never gets old.

It's not just us...

Mediocrity runs rampant in every sub-culture. It's just a fact.

As much as I support females in magic, I must say I encounter a lot of them who are just half-assing it (Which makes it hard for them to sit on a stool). It's mostly awkward teenage gals who know a few card tricks badly but get by being "cute" (or just easy). Eventually they find something else that requires less work and more attention (like stripping).

However while they are in our business they are causing more harm than good. Not just to the image of females in magic but ALL of magic. When one of us sucks, all of us suck regardless of gender.

I think a lot of the problem is self-esteem and lack of confidence. (This goes for both genders but is very prevalent in females) It takes a special kind of crazy to just say "fuck it", throw caution to the wind, and just crazygonuts. That kind of behavior is rarely encouraged in girls unless it's at a frat party and it leads to sex.

So to all of you wannabe's with estrogen, get your ass in gear and learn some skill and don't expect your body/looks to get you by forever because they won't. You can use your femininity as a novelty but eventually the novelty wears off and you need to back it up with some actual knowledge.

Hop to!

Master of none...

So a few years ago an email came into my possession about one of my magic products. They had bought it off another website and apparently user error was not an option for why it "didn't work".

In the email this guy said something that just made me discount anything and everything he had said previous or after. He actually typed the phrase, "I am a master semi-pro".

Let that sink in just a bit before you read further.

I am actually glad he returned the item because I didn't want someone that stupid using my tricks and screwing them up. As I have mentioned in the past, a true master never says he is. If this post offends you, you might be one of the mouth breathing ass hats that should stop using magic to touch little kids and get a hobby that keeps you from interacting with other human beings.

I am really getting sick of people with more money than sense letting their wallet dictate their job title.

The illusion of giving a damn...

It's interesting to me what performers focus on and on the flip side neglect. "I bought this big box and made it look all shiny and nice but I need a cloth to hold in front of me... I know i will use this bed sheet"".

There is actually nothing wrong with using a bed sheet but at least frame it up a bit with some color on the sides to give it some definition and stand out a bit. All your props should look like you put some thought into them even if you didn't. This goes for costuming as well. It doesn't take much to make off the rack look like custom made. Something sparkly here, a little bias tape there and VIOLA, you look like a performer!

Sometimes when you stare too much at the big picture you miss the little details.

Hearing Infection...

Yes I am still around. I have just been busy doing that whole performing thing.

I was watching a magic video on a random webpage and decided to delve into the comments (never has their been a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than internet video comments). One sentance caught my eye. It also struck a chord with me because this was said by a non-magician.

"How is it that magicians/illusionists always have the worst taste in music... ?"

Well? What's your excuses magicians? I have a few theories.

The major one is that magic is a decade behind most art forms because that is where our influences tend to come from. Most humans tend to stick with what they know and aren't terribly open to new things like modern music, technology, etc. throw the stubbornness of magic into the mix and well... you know.

Odd are the real reason is that most of you just have really shitty taste in music.

Cobra-la-la-la....

Tonight I attended a lecture at Denny and Lee here in Vegas and saw a vanity deck sitting on the counter. There was something oddly familiar about it but I couldn't put my finger on it. See if it initially strikes you in the same fashion...

Here let me help you. Look at the bottom design more closely...

Do you see it yet? If not I will show you what I see in my brain. Once it has been seen it can never be unseen.

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SEE!?

It can't just be me who sees this...

iHateyourDVD

Dear magicians,

Please stop using imovie to make your DVD templates (Or any other program with default templates). They look and sound like hell and everyone can tell you did it at home and didn't spend the money to get a proper professional DVD menu done because you are a cheap bastard.

Thanx,

The mngmt.

Be still my throbbing migraine...

The more "TV magic" I watch, the less and less respect I have for those involved creating it.

Call me kooky but I find it interesting to see the differences in those who focus on things other than being able to perform. I see so many younger performers working hard on getting that next viral video. Why not? It has been proven to work! You have a hit video, someone sees you and then BAM yer on TV or working creatively for someone behind the scenes. Who can argue with that!?

Me. That's who.

You take most of these guys out from a controlled environment and they will curl up and die like an ant under a magnifying lens. You take away their "can only be done on camera" BS and they have no real world skill... but hey that's ok! That's the message the modern world is sending the current generation already. Are you smarter than a 5th grader? No? Then maybe you can have the next hit TV show!!

We are creating reality TV now, not magic. Oh we THINK it's magic because we want to keep something that resembles "integrity" but the moment you let someone else tell you how to do YOUR art for a paycheck you don't have that integrity anymore. Just stop pretending and tell people what they are about to see is just BS and that yer not a magician and everyone is an actor playing along to make good TV. Half the audience is gonna think that anyway.

Abracadabra has been replaced by "We'll fix it in post".

On a midnite train...

How did mob mentality get organized before Facebook I ask you?

Actually let me ask you this: Where do we draw the line on considering something a copy? Is it the same method with a different prop? Is it the same prop with a different method?

What if you take a concept and make your own routine complete with new props and methods... is that a copy of someone who uses the same concept? Why do we damn relative unknowns for doing these things but those we admire get a free pass? (likely the same reason celebrities don't stay in jail long)

The damn shame of it all is the fact that it's part of life in the entertainment business. Creative people get ripped off. However truly creative individuals will always bounce back with a brand new creation. Thieves can only take so much before they are caught (or beaten and thrown in a car trunk).

Choose your battles wisely and make sure you have an army behind you and not just an angry mob.

Foaming at the lips...

I have just been witness to some of the worst magic on television I think I have ever seen. (Which says a lot considering the most recent Criss Fishing Rod shows) I am 90% sure at one point they just ran the footage backward to make the "magic" happen. I have never seen so much obvious (and bad) editing in a magic special EVER.

In my opinion good magic on TV died with Gary Oullet. Today we don't have magic shows, we have reality TV with some magic in it. The worst part is shows, like this and the other before it are HURTING magic. I don't mean outwardly. The target audience of these shows will like it or they won't, just like with live shows. However internally they are doing more magic than good. By using camera angles, audio editing, and other such nonsense you are effectively telling the future generations it's ok to not have skill and cheating at your magic is ok as long as it gets ratings.

"You don't have to work hard. We can fix it in post!" 
"Just stare at them until they react. Knowing how to perform is so passe."

I am sick of this shit. As someone who takes magic seriously as a performer and an artist, this makes me very angry. I have no respect for those in front of or behind the camera. The so-called consultants who allow this kind of bad magic and TV to happen can just choke on their own magnificent penis for all I care.

For those of you thinking "Well let's see you do better captain critical", my response to you is find me some TV execs with half a brain in their head willing to give people like me a chance and I'll be happy to.

Until then we get stuck with "master magicians"...

3652.42

What do you say after ten years of keeping a magic journal on the internet?

I think the question is rhetorical...

Bubble Wrap

Did you know I write articles for Vanish Magazine? Welcome to education. Now watch this video and go read the article about it.

Haters gonna hate...

You ever get the feeling someone is out to get you?

Many years ago, shortly after the big green weenie started, I got banned for speaking my mind behind closed doors. (long time readers will note my disdain for censorship and the practices of the cafe)

Eventually I had to appoint an intermediary to take up random issues about my products on the forums. Well I just was told that he too got banned. This comes upon the heels of a thread someone else started about my new Overstuft effect getting deleted.

To whomever the ass clown is who apparently has it in for me, why not contact me directly and air your grievances instead of being a huge douche and hiding behind an admin position on a website?

There is a reason websites like this exist.

Update: A second post started by some random person about the aforementioned product has also been deleted.

"A paranoid is simply someone in possession of all the facts" - Spider Jerusalem 

Tiny objects, big reactions?

One thing I cannot stand is when a magician makes a small item vanish (because that is the best thing they could come up with apparently) and then demand applause for it. It's even worse when they expect it to be a BIG reaction and just hold a pose until the audience gives them that all too often heard pity applause. (I am mainly referring to stage and manip acts here)

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with doing a simple vanish of an object BUT (and this is a big butt) it should further the narrative of the routine. It can't be done "just because". There needs to be motivation or a reason. If it's just for the hell of it you have a LARGE field of vision for people to back track to. As a stage performer you don't have the luxury of being up close and personal to misdirect someone. You gotta be sneaky.

PS - Can we stop vanishing or color changing or whatever you do to an object and thn just reproduce it because you have no other way to ditch it? FIND A WAY!!

PPS - I had a magic trick come out Friday.