Why am I stuck in magician Hell?

BLOG BLOG BLOG!!!! What rolls down stairs, rolls over in pairs, rolls over yer neighbors dog? It's BLOG!!!!

Hiya kids... it's magic thyme again. With a dash of oregeno!! What should we talk about today? I actually don't have anything on my mind. How about I talk about what magic tricks really make my dick itch? Yah that's good.

Let's start with Illusions. I frickin' hate Interlude. You know the one. Where an anorexic college student crawls thru the chest of some poofy shirt wearing fashion victim. The only people who did that in a cool way was Seinfeld and Roy.. and look what happened to them. Someone dips Roy's underwear in meat sauce and end of shitty box tricks. Woo hoo!! Copperfield does it, a guy in Austin does it, everyone does it. Hell they do it illegally. Ok so what's another one. Geometrix/ Cube-zag. Hate, hate, HATE that trick!!!!

I never understood tricks where they put a chick in a box, do something moderately kinky/ horrible to their body and then.. THEN put her back together like nothing happened. All along with a pained Vasaline(TM) soaked smile on. It makes NO sense. I figure I would just have a girl come out (No not out of the closet, tho' that might make far a better show.. hmmmm...) on stage, and say something like, "I was gonna cut her in half and put her bcktogether, but I didna have 3,000$ and she would have looked like this at the end anyway.. TA DA!!" If I was gonna chop up a girl, she would stay chopped up.

It all falls under the one word that needs to be tattood on the forehead of all magi.. WHY!!? Why produce a candle, and a dove, and why are you mulitplying those balls? "Well it's because I am a magician"

*SMAK!!*

Try again bucko. Give us somthing we can grasp onto. Show me something I have seen in real life. Not those shiny brass cups, not those big solid.. what are those cock rings? Not those silk scarves that no one carries around with them anymore not even yer wife!! (poor soul) Please try and have magic make sense. I know that phrase makes no sense cuz' it's magic and magic makes no sense but yer presentation sure as bloody hell can be can't it? Now get going before I revoke yer ITR privledges!!!

Bizzaro.