Why am I stuck in magician Hell?

It's that time again. Yup, i'm bored and just woke up a bit ago. So I guess before I satiate my urge for sustinence (If yer confused look those words up Here.) I'm gonna rant.. maybe rant and a half I dunno yet. Todays discussion will focus on dorks. Now I don't mean those guys sitting around a table playing D&D every weekend. (I cast Magic Missle.) I mean the magic dorks. (Which actually could be one in the same.)

Now I am not talking about the card game MAGIC either. I fooking hate that game. I mean the card wielding, poorly dressed, couldn't get a date is they paid for it dorks. How some of these guys manage to find blind retartded eskimo women to marry them is beyond me. But seriosuly folks... All magicians are DORKS!! No exception. Not even for me. Hell I can name damn near every original Transformer. Thaz pretty lame wouldn't you agree? In todays issue I am gonna tell you how to bcome LESS of a dork. It's very easy. First off don't dress like This Guy. Secondly find something yer intrested in just as much as magic. It's nice to diversify. Me personally, I like drawing, special FX make-up, video games, graphic design, video editing, long walks on the beach and.. well ok scratch that last one. You get the idea. Have other things you can do and talk about.

Also never EVER force your magic on someone and start by saying stuff like, "Yer gonna love this watch!". Don't TELL them they are gonna like something Before they see it. What if you suck and they didn't like it. You are now a liar and liars go to hell.. or New Jersey... Same thing. Let them come to you. (unless they're your friends. Then it's ok. It's their own damn fault for liking you.) Also never think you are the shiznit. You aren't. There is always someone better. It happens. Get over it. Have some self esteem tho'. Chicks dig guys with confidence. (Assuming you like girls that is. If yer gay you already have fasion sense and therefore are well ahead of everyone else.)

Ok so I know yer young and have no car, no friends, and the dog won't even play with you. All you have is your deck of cards and that Klutz book of Magic someone got you at X-mas to get you out of the room for a while. So yer at a disadvantage, but if you are looking at this you at least have the interent. Go learn something. (God knows there is no learnin' to be found here on this site). Be warned tho'.. once you discover sex, magic will seem to pale in comparrison. Mind you if you do magic getting to that point in yer life is gonna take a hell of a lot longer than a normal person.

So what's my point? I don't think I ever really had one. Just be yourself, and not just a deck of cards. We're all losers or else we wouldn't be doing this. If we looked like Antonio Banderas would we need card tricks? If we could play guitar and make leather look good would we foist ourselves on other people sitting at tables in a resturaunt? Hell no. So we have to work with what we have. Just remember, if you suck at what you do, don't give up. Make sure you suck at it like no one else ever could. Just don't wear a boy scout uniform when you are 40.. that's just sad.

Bizzaro.