Why am I stuck in magician Hell?

So here I sit in my evil santa hat OF DOOM!!! I wonder why magic has become the weird bastion of BS and capitilism that it has become. Well I was inspired by someone to start one of these. It will be no where as Cool as this guy's blog.... but dammit I can try can't I? (And I am not stealing his blog color idea, green just appealed to me more than blinding white. I wear mostly black for a reason Dammit!!)

So what's up first you ask on the rant and rave menu? Well put down yer glow sticks and listen up. Uncle Bizzaro has a quandry for you. What kind of world do we live in where someone takes the way you hold your hand and puts their name on it for all eternity. I CLAIM THIS HAND CRAMP FOR SPAIN!!! (plants flag with shades of Eddie Izzard refrences.) I, of course, refer to the biddle grip. DoubleyouTeeEff!!!! What kind of god lets a man name a common way to hold something and get credit!!!

If i had a time warp, (it's just a jump to the left.), I would go back and claim a LOT of things and be a freekin' card genius just for knowing ways to hold cards. Mechanics grip? Nah screw that... I'd call it "No one but a magician holds a deck of cards like this." Sure it's longer but at least it's more to the point. Biddle Grip? Nah.."Hold the cards palm down like this." Much more descriptive and isn't as silly as ONE guy naming it for his own amusement. It's like taking credit for God making water because YOU discovered H2O. (Well if yer a Xian. Insert yer diety of choice in there.)

Makes no sense to me in my little world with the burnt orange grass and the sky colored #00FF00. (look it up.) I think we need to spend less time naming this crap and just try to do it better. All of you sucky magicians are making me look bad... KNOCK IT OFF!! (I do a good enuff job without yer help.)

Bizzaro.