Why am I stuck in magician Hell?

Quothe the Raven.. eat my shorts!!!!

I have one question for you dove workers... why? I mean just because Channing Pollock did it, and did it so well, what makes you think you can? What if he had produced, say.. beavers. Wow beaver magic would be HUGE in Vegas. (The magic beaver jokes are already pouring in.) Let's look at some of the best dove people working today. James Dimmare. His style is second to none. Lance Shimada er.. Burton. Friendly personality. Joseph Gabriel, um... he does a neat thing with a balloon.

Let me tell you a quote that I live by.. if I can find.. the damn.. notes.. hold on. (jeopardy music plays) Ah there it is.. Comes Directly from the hard to find and very rare Rudy Coby Lecture Notes. "Any magician can get applause by pulling a live bird out of a dove pan. Doesn't matter how bad he is... an audience will always respond to a live animal. This is Cheap Applause." Now think about that.. how many times have you seen someone produce an animal and think to yerself "Oh that was soooo obvious!" It is, but people still clap for the animal. Not the effect or the performer. Wouldn't it be more fulfilling if that was all for you and not some dumb animal that could easily be shoved ina blender or a wood chipper? (The SPCA hates me I swear)

Gee guess that means you'll have to work on yer personality more. Good luck. Make that a new years resolution!!!

Bizzaro.