Right back where I started from...

Well kids, we made it to Vegas in one piece. Got in and met up with our lovely host for the week, Jordan Wright and went to see him as part of Jeff McBride's show Magic at the Edge. (If you don't know who Jeff McBride is, stop reading this journal and punch yourself in the face with a stapler.. now!)

If you get the chance to see the new bits and old faves in the current venue, do so. Also, (Shakes the magic hate ball) chances are good I will be performing this weekend at the Wonderground weekend venue. So stop on by Street of Cards this Friday and Sat night to see a live feed from the venue and maybe even some bits from me.

Until then... get a staple remover.

Bizzaro.

EPIPHANY!!

I got it.. I figured out why the Asshat does theses stunts. It's so simple, WHY didn't I see this before!? In every stunt he has done, he has been hooked up to a catheter and been in full view of people at all times. These are not coincidences!! He has a secret fetish for catheter and a not so secret fetish of exhibitionism!! Holy crap the Asshat is into kinky S&M and has found a way to make money off of it!!

Don't believe me? Watch this:


You can thank Itricks for this revelation.
Bizzaro.

Selling your sole...

I'm not too sure how I feel about another magician using someone else's tricks to A: make a name for himself and 2: Whore said products out to all the other wannabe magi's who own a TV or can work a computer.

I know that collaboration is a big part of magic and no magician is an island. (hell most magicians don't even qualify as dirt let alone a whole island) My issue is, with so much potential and room to blow yer own horn, why do you need a huge back up section? (boy someone is analogy happy today)

I think thaz all I have to say right now...

Bizzaro.

Swingers...

I wish my answering machine would talk to me.

Anywho, for those who may not have heard, Bizzaro will be invading Las Vegas in about a week's time. We are picking up shop and moving out to the desert to see what kind of insanity awaits for us. So if anyone has any advice, warnings, or hook-ups, lemme know.

This of course means posting will be scarce, but I will report when I have the chance and probably have a whole SLEW of new things to bitch about in the next few months. However for now I want to talk about This. Ever heard (or used) the line, "lemme see yer hand, no the clean one. Oh that was the clean one."? How about people saying you shouldn't use lines like that because it makes the spectator feel bad.

I agree that you should not attack a spectator head on with cheap shots. If you are going to insult an audience, do it to all of them. The problem with getting people up onstage is you are dealing with a crap shoot of possibly unstable individuals who could come up onstage with a fear or leave with a new one because of you. Having someone hold a prop, then having it collapse while they hold it can be dangerous. If they already have a low self image or feeling of being useless, and you get that one person, they could very well go home that night and hang themselves because of YOU!!

Handing a breakaway wand to a kid is funny...ish. Handing someone an object you claim to be very important and then it breaks is just poor comedy. If anything bad is going to happen, the performer should take it on because they have the ability to fix it (if they so desire). There is good-hearted ribbing, and then there is downright insulting. Some performers will NEVER say anything verbally off-key to anyone onstage... and those guys have some boring ass acts. Seriously tho', if it within the parameters of your character to be a bit of a dick to your helpers, and it works (Being the key element here) then go for it. Don't buy a prop that will get cheap laughs at someone's expense just because you aren't funny enuff to do it on your own.

Besides, the money you save today might save the life of some loser tomorrow.

Bizzaro.

The Notorious Biggie Fries...

So in usual fashion, I am taking this opportunity to whore out my own magical effects. This time around, we at Fire Cat Studios bring to you, FOILED AGAIN. Imagine producing a jumbo half-dollar coin and then peeling the top of it down to reveal it's chocolate underneath. You then reseal it and hand it off to the nearest bystander and they find it to be solid METAL! Imagine no longer! You can have this amazing ability! It is within your grasp!! How you ask? Go Here. Want to see what it looks like? Look below. (Note: there is no switching involved. It is a custom made gaff that works with any three inch jumbo half-dollar coin.)


Tastes great, less filling.

Bizzaro.

What you make of it...

First off, for those who only read this thru RSS, you miss out on the polls AND the new feature of pretty much showing how big a dork you are by reading my posts. So for those of you who eschew the main site, you might wanna pop in sometime.

So the other day I was looking at a Magic Maker's catalog from last year someone left under my couch. (I'm looking at you Aaron Stone) Many of you prolly know I am not a fan of teh Magic Maker's DVD products. You also know I am a big believer in the concept of "name recognition". While looking thru the catalog and seeing some of the guys who have put out MANY DVD's under their production it got me thinking... "It's nice to be know... but at what cost?"

If my face was plastered everywhere on shoddy merchandise, I would be known.. but not for what I wanted to be known for. It's like being a dove magician. Do I want them applauding for me... or at me. Personally, I'd rather be known for who I am...

not the company I keep.

Bizzaro.

Coming to terms...

Today we shall discuss two ideas and terms I feel are very important to creating the right presentation and effect. The other day I talked about my penchant for using food items to create magic. Last night I tried out one of my new creations at our weekly variety show. (Imagine healed and sealed with a small snack size of bag of Cheetos) A few things came from the live performance and the hour I spent before the show restructuring the routine. I am going to go over these two helpful ideas with you now. Grab yer ankles and get ready.

At Play - This term refers to making a prop or getting the props you need together and just.. playing. No matter how absurd an idea MIGHT be, you should at least follow thru with it. Make a prototype if need be. You never know what you are capable of until you get something in your hands. A lot of people have great ideas but never follow through with them. Don't be a lazy ass!! Whip it out and play with it!! (ummm...) Even if the initial idea you had doesn't work, something MUCH better might present itself. I prefer serendipity to luck any day.

In the Moment - When you are onstage or performing an effect for the first time, there are some aspects of a trick or presentation that you could NEVER have thought of in mere mirror practice. You have to be in the moment in front of a real people because that is when your secret subconscious performing reflexes will kick in. There is an energy that is present when performing for a mass of watchers. Don't be afraid to say or do something right out of the gate. Have a vague idea of what you want to say and do, but do not be afraid to deviate from the flight plan. Hijack that damn plane and head straight for the Pentag.. er.. Disney Land!! Mind you, the best time to have no fear in performance is a place where there is no pressure to be good or when yer doing it for free. Got new material? Find an open mic night or create your own somewhere. Opportunities abound!!

So there are two thoughts that might help you get out there and make magic your bitch. Mind you they require you to stop looking at the internet and actually motivate yer lazy ass. Bo not afraid. Run headlong at that cliff...

you might just be able to fly.

Bizzaro.

This sounds more like a lifestyle choice than a magic trick...

Bizzaro.

Thought for Food...

So I have been wanting to add a bit more to my creativity notes. You, my loyal readers, get a first glimpse of this addition to my usual ramblings.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The other day I was going over some of the magic I have created in the last few years and realized a LOT of it involved food and drink based props. I usually joke that you "go with what you know" and then pat my belly. Like most jests, there is some truth behind that. The items I use are things I actually consume. Doritos, sandwich cookies, Coka-cola, Cheetos, etc. The best part about this is that I am not the only one in the world who deals with these objects on a daily basis. We all have to eat. (some of us do it better than others but there is no way in hell I am gonna start doing magic with Tofu)

This brings me around to my point (I knew I had one here somewhere): Use items people relate to. You pull out brass cups or gaudy boxes with dragons on them, what are they going to think? Magic Prop!! That's right. You could honestly save yourself a lot of time and money by using soup cans or styrofoam cups. It might not be pretty but if the prop matches your presentation and character, it will paint a more complete picture. The best part is, you will get all of the credit for the magic you do. If they think it's accomplished with the prop you bought then you get NOTHING!!!

If you use props or items they have handled, seen, bought, etc they will subconsciously know that there is no trickery involved with the prop... even if there is. On the otherhand, you can use a concept they are familiar with in an incredible situation. I believe that if you give them a little bit of truth, they will believe a LOT of BS. (Like a jumbo coin being filled with chocolate) In the case of using foodtsuffs, you can play upon people's memories, emotions, or even mental states because people associate so much with edible items. With cookies you can get them going back to their childhood, water, you can have them remember summertime. It's a dirty trick, but man does it work.

So look through your repertoire, and see what you can repaint, remake, or just plain get rid of/sell and maybe find a way to make a better mousetrap.

Just don't forget the cheese.

Bizzaro.

Contesting...

I spent the weekend in Ft. Worth, TX attending the TAOM convention. (Texas Association Of Magicians) It is a regional convention that occurs in a different TX city every year. It can be one of the bigger conventions one can attend, depending on the year. Up until this year, it is the only convention I have ever attended. (thus far I have been to three conventions this year, which is odd because I usually only do one every 3-4 years)

Most every year I go to TAOM, I join in the merriment that is the magic competition. This year was no different. Now I am personally not a fan of competing BUT it has it's place so long as everyone remembers that that place has nothing to do with accolades or trophies.

My stage act is not generally one that radiates what is typically considered magic fodder. There is no hard-core manipulation. I do NOT produce doves. You will never see linking rings, cups and balls, or zombie ball in my act. Much of this kinda cuts me out of a lot of the categories upon which magic contests are judged. Originality is not seen so much as a skill but more of a tacked on feature, which counts for very little of your score on a judges sheet. Real world application is not ever a CONSIDERATION for these acts. There are a great deal of magic acts that go over great at a convention but fall short in the interest of the general public.

I am going to tell you the reason I still compete, even tho' I KNOW the deck is stacked against me (no pun intended) and then I am going to offer up some advice. I do it because I want to remind people I am still out there and make them AWARE of what I can do. The perfect place for your peers to see you is at a magic convention. This is the sole reason I participate in the whole debacle. (It sure as hell isn't for the fact that I LIKE getting up at 8am and then have to try and be funny)

Now why should YOU compete? The same reasons I do. Never go in thinking you are going to wipe the floor with other people. The moment you do some Korean kid with a bunch of colored playing cards is gonna saunter in and make you his bitch. You need to be aware that when you go into this, it is to show off what you can do, who you are, and get your name out there. Even if your act doesn't win, don't let it get you down. Listen to the buzz of the crowd. Often the audience can tell you more than the "judges" do. A trophy might look nice on a shelf somewhere, but word of mouth will get you a lot farther.

Speaking of performing in front of a crowd, here is some advice for those of you who do want to showcase your talent. Step away from the mirror!! I have seen SO many acts that do not engage the audience in any way, shape, or form. They get on stage and start performing like they would at home in the camera. Before you EVER compete, and I will repeat this EVER, find some places to do your act in front of a real audience. Again, the people watching will tell you more than you can ever know. The timing of an act in real life is much different. The methods used at home might not even be necessary in front of the drooling masses. Polish your act by performing your act in real time... not your own time.

Speaking of timing, I would like to comment on something I do think is a tad silly in the realm of Close-up. A number of conventions put a time limit on how long your act can go. For stage I think this is a good idea. It's sets a focused goal that FORCES you to pick and choose the best pieces of your act. Mind you that doesn't mean you HAVE to add material to STRETCH it to the limit but I digress..

However for close-up, (which isn't TRUE close up at a magic convention. It's really parlor. Be aware of this before you go into battle for the first time), I do not believe there needs to be a HARD limit. I think there should be a reasonable suggested limit, but a hard limit with no leeway is absurd. Even in real world rehearsal, you cannot judge audience reaction time. How long it takes to sing as card, shuffle a deck, or any other number of things that we tend to require others to do in an act. I understand there are some people with no assemblance of time, but putting a defined limit on something that is so free form or yer screwed is a bit archaic... but thaz just me.

So that's some advice from my skewed brain. For those who might be wondering, no I didn't win. No I don't care. I came away feeling that that TV show about a bar...

where everyone knows my name.

Bizzaro.

Giraffes!!

Or as Ken Driscoll would say, Gaffs. The insertion (ew) of desktop publishing has allowed others to pursue that life long dream of making one's own gaffed cards. No longer does one have to shell out 20$ for a double face card of special design. Long gone are the days of fako sheets. Long live the revolution!!

There have been a handful of helpful guides that have popped up over the last few years. Each one contains different ideas and tricks that will help you achieve your lifelong goal... of getting lai.. er.. making yer own gaff cards.

One of the more well known is Marty "Martini" Grams. His DVD, The Art of Card Splitting, has everything you might need or WANT to know to get started. It's a visual guide to his book, Lickety Split. Despite the fact it's a Magic Maker's DVD, I rather enjoyed it. The material is easy to understand and very straight forward.

If you want a more guerrilla form of gaff making, then navigate to Ken Driscoll's Gaffed Again. It has a lot of the tips and ideas from the Martini DVD but in a cheaper and more brief format. Two things that stand out about this product is the unusual way to make a Hofzinser card (in which you can use an Ace or other similar card) and advice on how to sell gaffed cards if you are so inclined to head in that direction. For the price, it can't beat and the information is top notch.

Both of the methods used in the previous two mentionings just aren't enuff for some people. Good thing for those types there is someone out there who wants to share his knowledge of dry mount card making. That person is Craig Matsuoka and his e-book, "The Gaff Factory" has a thorough (not to be confused with Thoreau) look into alternative methods for card making including ink transfers from your printer (oooooohh aaaaah). It's worth a look see if you want to explore other possibilities.

In that same, I recently stumbled upon a website that has many ideas concerning this subject.

You may have noticed I didna put links to any of aforementioned products. I figure my readers are smart enuff to do a google search and make up their own damn minds. In today's market we have choices and damn near instant access to the technology needed to make those choices. There is nothing more satisfying that doing something for yourself....

Just ask any person with no arms.

Bizzaro.

Biggity Bamf!

So for those who remember my talk of releasing my effect BAMF! onto he market, you get your wish.. sorta. Magic From The Grave is now up for grabs. It contains three effects by Todd Diamond (who sadly was killed by his his first DVD F*ck Street Magic) BAMF! by myself (That sounds dirty), and a fairly honest never before seen interview with Amazing Johnathan.

So if you want to be some of the first to partake of this little slice of cake or death, then head to the website and have a look around.

More to follow...

Bizzaro.

Bizzaro.'s Review of Midwest Magic Jubilee 2008

So I got in Thursday and already got a chance to see old friends and start to meet new ones. I got settled in and walked around aimlessly casing the joint. Mainly for performance purposes. Also one can never be too sure when you will need to beat a hasty retreat. In the evening, I got to have lunch with the very pleasant Jay Scott Berry. In the past he has released some good magic utilities (of which he utilizes to the FULLEST). We discussed all sorts of stuff and in the end went off to get ready for the evening show. Oh the evening show... here is a bit of advice: Don't open your evening shows with a musical tribute act. if.. and I mean IF you do, make sure he can connect with the audience and can be brief. It wasn't the worst show at a magic con I have ever seen but it did drag. The saving grace was Mark Mason and his well honed act. The next day I had to be up at 8am to watch a young man perform in the close-up competition (as per his request. Nice kid. Met him and his madre at WMS). At 9am I also had a tech meeting for the evening show. Since I had to get up so early I of course went to bed at 5am. This would be a trend to follow.

So Friday rolls around. I get up early, go watch Travis do his deal, do the tech meeting (Which consisted of "You need a mic?", "no", "oh.. ok well that's it then". So I went my happy ass back to sleep until around 2-ish so I could get up and see the close-up show @ 3. One of the treats to see was Kozmo. I had a chance to meet him in NOLA many years ago. He is a street performer and is damn good at it. His act has only improved since last I saw it. We were both out of our element as it was our first time to appear at a magic convention. Kudos to him and his ability to edit on the fly. Justin Miller did some very strong magic and harassed the audience only the way he can. Carroll Baker was on hand as well as Tom Craven and Jay Scott Berry. Jay performs in what he calls his "minimalist phase". His hands always appear empty. He comes out with nothing, leaves with nothing, and amazes you to the hilt.

I make my way to the theater, (Finally getting food. Much thanx to Tim for all of his help over the weekend. I doubt he will see this, but regardless: You rock man!), and start to set up for my set that evening. I am opening the show and Jay is closing. In between is emcee Geoff Williams who is inherently a very funny man and a nice guy to boot. Also Joseph Young doing some talking bits and Jonathan Levitt, who you might remember as the host for the Celebracadabra show that aired a while back. The show was strong thruout and had a little something for everyone. I was very happy to be on the bill. (And glad Geoff didn't get around to singing those opera tunes)

Later in the evening, Steve Daly (otherwise known as Bonnie Bitch), Sean Michaels (not the wrestler OR the porn star), and Jason Andrews did a late night extra event called "Tricks" to raise money for charity and it was ADVERTISED pg-13 (However slipped silently into R while no one was looking). It was a good time and was well received.

Of course there was more staying up late talking shop with the folks and having a good time. Mind you the culprit for much of the late night goings on was Chris Kenner who made a surprise appearance (With his better half Katie of course) as he grew up in the area and decided to stone two birds with one hit and see his mother as well. The man is full of tinier men.. no wait.. he is full of stories and good magic and is not unapproachable by any means. Despite the fact it's his fault Three-fly exists, he is a remarkable humble dude.

On to Saturday (I swear I am trying to make this brief): I got sleep yay!! Got up around noon to ready myself for the close-up show. I was one of the first performers in one of three rooms. I was a bit nervous and it showed. My first room was lackluster and I was pissed. Not so much at myself, but at the fact the audience kinda got cheated of the full experience. Alas, life goes on and the next two rooms went over much better. It was a very new act and has only seen the light of day a handful of times and I walked away with a better understanding of it and how to tighten it up. Regardless, I was sharing the rotation with many good performers. Dan Fleshman, who is as nice a guy as he is um.. not tall. Geoff Williams, Jonathan Levitt, Michael Baker (Who also shared the stage with us the day before), and Jimmy Molinari. All in all it was a good time.

Killed some time (And finally got some food) until the final evening show. I donned my "SURPRISE!! I can clean up nice" suit and hit the impromptu tables set up outside to entertain the rabble before the doors opened. The show contained equal parts Joseph Young, Stoil and Ekaterina, Ken Domash (Who did an interesting money manip bit as a guitar slinging street performer.), and the aforementioned members of the Tricks show. Again, it was a good show and everyone was pleased... from what i could tell.

I have been to a smattering of magic conventions in my time, but I must say that MMJ was a lot of fun and it is run very well. They do things a bit differently and the people there are friendly. I will be glad to go back as long as they are glad to have me. Looking forward to the possibility of next year and here's to my magic convention cherry being popped with no goram dove acts ANYWHERE in sight.

One dove is a prop, more than that.. is an act.

Bizzaro.

Syntax error: Can't translate Jive...

Ok so the last observation in my series on video production (finally) is about software. Now unless you happen to have a lot of money, or yer like other magicians who just leech off their parents bank accounts, you probably won't be getting an Avid Suite anytime soon. (if you don't know what that is, it's best you not ask) For the rest of us mere mortals who have to eat Heroin.. er.. smack ramen, you probably have some form of *Koff*IlLeGaLlYdOwNlOaDeD*koff* video editing software running rampant on yer hard drive.

For those of us who think Mac is just a cumbersome ape with a shiny coat, you have programs such as Premiere (pro) to toy with and some lower end programs such as Vegas video. Mind you some of the more recent magic videos that have come out, they look like they were authored in MS paint or something. Your best bet will always be to get a non-linear program. This allows you to edit with complete freedom and layer your clips. Linear editing is a thing of the past, yet still exists on proprietary software. To give you an idea of what linear editing is.. think Windows Movie maker and you'll have it.

Ok so you Mac users.. don't think just because I think yer a bunch of commies doesn't mean I won't include you in the conversation. Many programs are cross compatible across OS's. (That means companies go out of their WAY to re-program something just so they don't have to listen to you BITCH.) The new CS3 Premiere Pro is available for Mac and PC. Why? See the above parentheses. Mind you with a mac most people go with Final Cut Pro. Allow me to say I have tried both and Final Cut is laid out like someone paid some MIT student to do it, but first hit me in the head with a brick a few times and gave him mild brain damage. It makes no sesne. Stuff is in places that is not convenient and the windows do straaaaaange things to me in the night.

Anywho, Macintosh computers will always be good for one thing and that is a boat anchor.. no.. wait.. the Mac can take on a big load. I don't mean the same kind of big load yer girlfriend takes on in those amateur webcam shows she does. I mean like 200+ Gig video and graphics files. It takes a licking and keeps on ticking. PC's tend to start choking and gasping like a fat guy trying to run about oh.. ten feet.

So anyway, moving on. It's also a good idea to learn After Effects. The best way to describe that program is that it is like Photoshop for video. AE is used in almost all major video productions for special effects and the like. That's all I have to say about that.

One last thing and I'm done. What's nice about these video editing programs is they not only give you a place to put your video clips but by golly a place for audio. You know all of them bifs bams and smapps you hear in movies? All fake. It's called Foley editing. (Not Mic Foley either) To have a professional looking AND sounding video production, you need sound effects to drop into your timelines. There are a myriad of places online to pick up sound effects for free or you could simply make your own.

That, in essence, is the last of my video production advice I choose to share with you. Tune in next time when I will offer up pie charts and graphs about how much pie and chart graphs do next to nothing and mean absolutely squat.

EXCELSIOR!!

Bizzaro.

A quick update.

MMJ is over. Stage show went ok. (in an ironic twist of fate, my breifcase toppled forward off the stool, when I had gone to great lengths to prevent it from falling off the BACK. Luckily I was done with it by then) Today did the close-up set. The first room I did was lackluster to say the least. On my part and theirs.

I was fairly mad for the poor performance I gave as I was a tad too nervous and my routining decided to step out and have a sammich without me. The second and third rooms were much better. A few screw ups here and there but nothing to write home aboot. Flying back tomorrow and gonna relax before getting back into thr swing of thangs with our weekly variety show. Sometime this week I plan to A: Finish my video rant 2: Recap on the convention in more detail and III. Eat a sammich.

Mmm sammich.

Bizzaro.

Some of you might be wondering where my last post about video editing stuff is. Well me too!! Sadly it will have to wait till next week for I am the fabulous Midwest Magic Jubilee in St. Louis. (Where I am getting might funny looks from people. Must be the trenchcoat in the unfriendly heat. Little do they know I am from Texas where we invented heat. The kind of heat that takes down your pants and sodomizes you right in front of your mothe... wait where was I? Why am I in these parenthases?)

Anywho, I might keep you updated.. I might not. Life is funny that way. If yer in the areola, come see me!

No really.. I mean it.

Bizzaro.

Srsly?

Ok ok I'll get back on track with my previous lines of thinking, but first I want to point out a few things that bother me about some magic products put on the market.

First, spell check your ad copy. Always a good idea. Second, don't put boisterous info about yourself in the ad copy. No one cares and you're not trying to sell yourself. Your accolades aren't going to help your sales. Speaking of product, don't charge 20+ dollars for something that can be easily deciphered on a demo video and made at home for waaaaay less.

A product of mine was once reviewed as something that would be better off in lecture notes. This idea holds true for a LOT of magic today. I took this to heart and the effect now sits in my lecture notes and is no longer for sale. I think others need this verbal bitch slap as well so there is less crap on the market eating holes into our lives and pockets.

Anywho, you be the judge and sometime in the near future, I will finish my rants on video productions. Between getting distracted by shiny objects and getting ready for Midwest Magic Jubilee, I shall try to focus on what's important...

which of course is sammiches.

Bizzaro.

Turn the cameras off, back up all the way...

And if you get that song lyric WITHOUT looking it up on Google, then we would prolly get along just fine.

Regardless, I finally found some time in my busy schedule of underhanded dealings and magical madness to wax venomously about more video editing crapola. So far we have covered lighting and sound. Now you need to know what works best with that info I may or may not have crammed into your eyes.

A lot of people believe you need a hardcore HD camera to have nice video. Those people are so wrong it's their job. Sure you can drop a coupla grand on a real nice camera. If you have the money to do, then go for it. For those of us who are broke ass niggas, we must resort to e-bay and the like. However, there are some specs you should look for on a camera and they are just as easy as your girlfriend.

First and foremost, look for 3 CCD. This effectively means you have a special chip for each color that video displays in: Red, green, and blue. You sacrifice a bit of the ability to shoot in low light, but the color quality is superb. (of course if you read two posts back, you would know how to work around that.) There are a few hand-held mini-dv camcorders that illicit this function. If you get an older model, you can come out with enuff money to buy some cheap lights or maybe a nice ham sammich.

The other nice thing to look for in the camera department is Mic in ability. Now all of your higher end contraptions will have this. However a lot of the camcorders do not. The ones with 3 chip and mic in are few and far between. I personally started a crusade for the Panasonic PV-GS150 and thus far I have been fairly pleased with the results.

Fair warning: try to avoid (LIKE THE PLAGUE) the cameras that record to a hard drive. They are intended for soccer moms and grandmothers who want to record their little crotch droppings highlights and then put them on a DVD. Mind you these people have nary a braincell to call their own when it comes to video. These cameras exist for two reasons: 1). User friendly-ness and B). to PISS me off!!

Now there are a few that come with a dock station that allows you to capture the video thru a firewire/ DV cable. (Which I will probably talk about in my next post) This is merely a ruse. Do not fall for it!!

Now that I am over that, I also suggest you pick up a really good monitor to hook to your camera whenever possible so you can see what your video output is because the little LCD screens that come on most cameras LIE!! They lie so much, you female readers would sit on it's face if it was Pinocchio and chant, "Lie to me, tell the truth, now lie to me!!" (By the way I am just kidding. I know we don't have any female readers.)

So, by now you have figured out the best kind of camera to be on the lookout for and that I really need to get out more. The best way to be informed is to become informed. I tell you folks all of this out of love. Not love for you, but for the love of stop making lackluster magic videos!!!

Now go listen to more Tom Petty.

Bizzaro.

Sound off like you got a pair!!

So yesterday, (For me anyway) we talked about lighting your video production and how to go about it the cheap way. Tonight, this morning, today, whenever you are reading this; we are going to discuss how not to sound like you are shooting your film in an empty living room devoid of taste or sound-proofing.

When we talk about cameras I will go into more detail about some stuff, but one thing to look for, aside from 3 CCD, is a mic in jack. This enables you to run ANY kind of microphone to your camera. Lapel, wired, even a PC microphone can be plugged in and used in a pinch. Personally, I prefer a boom mic type of set-up. It negates you having to hide a lapel mic.

While I am on the subject, there is nothing I hate more than seeing a wire running out of someone's ass or a big black spot on their white shirt. How hard is it to HIDE these things? Not very. Trust me on this!

(Goes off to eat a cupcake and calm down)

Ok so, take a microphone, strap it to tripod, borrow a jointed mic stand, hell hang it from the ceiling just out of frame. Get some headphones so you can make sure it sounds ok while you film. (or if yer alone to check the levels before hand) Do not EVER rely on the built in mic on any camera. It picks up too much ambient noise. If you are using a high end camera, get a shotgun mic that is mostly directional. They're not the3 best way to go, but they are more effective.

Ok so now you can be heard clearly and your voice is not drowned out by the noises of your neighbors fighting or your roommate banging your girlfriend in the other room. Now you need to "sweeten" the sound, as the kids on the street are now calling it. Again there are a myriad of programs at yer disposal to use. Even programs like Premiere and Final Cut has built in audio mixers for you to toy with. Applications like audition are good too as they are made to handle music files specifically. Mind you most of their clientele are just going to make shitty techno loops with them, but yer better than that... aren't you?

Anywho, a small smattering of autogate to remove the noise gaps between talking mixed with some compressor/expander/limiter action and yer good to go. (More or less) Just mix according to taste. (Headphones help. A LOT. You can pick up more nuances in tonal range using them. Things you probably would miss otherwise.) After that you are going to want to export the audio as a separate file, preferably in Dolby Digital Audio. Mind you this all depends on how far you are going to take your video production. This last thing is merely for the sake of DVD authoring. If it is for the intarwebz, then forget I said that last part. As a matter of fact, if your roommate is banging your girlfriend, then yer prolly too dense to run an audio editing program and you should just delete the last half of this entry from your mind to make room for other thoughts.. like, "mmm cupcakes".

Anywho, tomorrow I might be coerced into talking about cameras and what kind you should keep an eye out for. Until then, you might want to go punch the person you live with in the face, just to be safe.

You never know.

Bizzaro.

Video killed the magic star?

Now that you ask, yes I have been slacking a bit on my journal. Sorry kids, I have been working on a top secret project that has been SUCKING MY WILL TO LIIIIIVE!!! (Kidding actually it has been quite amusing) Perhaps I can satiate your lust for vengeance by showing you THIS amusing article I found on one of the forums I frequent.

However, this brings up a good point. The discussion of magic DVD's. Now I have no advice on how not to get picked up by the cops (aside from don't gank their shit) but I can tell you a thing or three that will make your magical videos look better, faster, and stronger than before. Perhaps you too can surpass the quality of crappy rushed-out-the-door how to's that looked like they were filmed by your step-cousin who just happens to have palsey. (Or Michael J. Fox, take yer pick.)

First thing you have to.. nay NEED to ask yourself is, "IS this worth putting out on video and charging gobs of cash for?" Chances are the REAL answer is Hell No!! but in today's world, that point is sadly moot. Since any asshat can pirate good video editing software, we are all pretty much at the veritable mercy of ambitious tools with good minds but terrible eyes.

The two real secrets to creating a professional looking video are sound and lighting. (Ok there is a third and that is a camera that doesn't suck monkey balls, but we'll get to that later. The camera that is... not the monkey balls.) Over the next few days I am going to sling advice your way about these subjects and possibly more.

Some people believe you have to spend a metric fuckton on a light kit so you can look good. Belay that and instead spend 50 bucks on clip lights from Wally World or Home Despot and maybe a couple cheap par-cans from a party store. While yer at it, head to yer grocery store and pick up some wax and/or tissue paper. This stuff works great as a diffuser. It will help prevent you from being washed out or there being hot spots on your props and your maybe even that receding hairline you forgot to put make-up on. For some ambiance, find some lighting gels as well. You can light normal everyday objects in your house and create your own Avant-Garde-Ikea-cheapass backdrop. See?

You might want to look into getting some cheap tripods or mic stands. Something you can clip them lights onto. You need to be lighted evenly on all sides and try not to cast heavy shadows on your backdrop if you can help it. (unless you are trying to be some artsy bonehole) Evenly lighting not only yourself, but your background, will add a lot to your picture. Don't be afraid to experiment either. If you have questions, READ A BOOK!! PErhaps even do some bloody research at the biggest library around: Teh Int4webz!!

One last thing you can nab to help out is black and white posterboard. Ever see some low paid grip standing off to the side holding a big white board during a video shoot? Well he is reflecting light onto the subject. It's a soft ambient light and not direct. Black is used to block out and absorb light (Duh). Grab some foam core board and perhaps some black felt. Attach the felt to the board so you have a black board and leave the white one alone for reflections sake.

All of this alone might cost you an arm or a leg (or someone else's if yer sneaky about it). However, with a little creative African American Engineering, you too can make even yourself look good. The best teacher is experience, so get out there and see what happens when you point this at that and turn this that way. Tomorrow (or sometime close to it) I shall speak of ships and shoes and ceiling wax. Of cabbages and kings!!

Or maybe just how not to sound like an idjit in a wind tunnel. You never really know with me I guess. Until then, just remember:

We're all the same color once the lights go out.

Bizzaro.

Pure cheese...

Sometimes I look elsewhere for inspiration to write about. After yesterdays silly ass BS post, I decided I should actually write about something. Instead of filling up Theory 11's server space, I instead have decided to force feed Blogger's maw with my verbal food for thought.

Ok so, what is a purist? This is the question at hand. I myself consider myself a bit of one... but only when it comes to certain aspects of my card magic. Sometimes I will devise a gimmick for an effect and try my damnedest to create a way to perform it without said gaffery. Mind you over the past few years I have created a few effects that work best with a tiny little gimmick used such as a double backed card.

I think what I would consider a trait of purism is the ability to do 80-90% of your magic with someone else's props. Their deck of cards, their coins, their swiss cheese, etc. Mind you there is the school of thought that it's not HOW you aaccomplish something, but the effect it has on the audience. If it's better to use 32 1/2 duplicates, then do it.

Magic, much like many other things in life, are personal preference. If you want to do something a certain way that's your yer choice and right. Sometimes other bastards (Read: Magicians) will say you should perform something a certain way using a certain move because that's what THEY would do. I say SHENANIGANS!! It's your thing, do what you wanna do. Be as pure as you want to be and I too shall stand beside you being as pure as I have always been...

like the driven slush.

Bizzaro.

Officious Seeing Eye Blog

And if you get that... yer nifty keen in my book.

So remember the posts I made a while back about changing up yer website content from time to time? Well somebody on this journal, (I won't say who), got bored enuff to toy with their site's front page a bit... with a videos page overhaul in the works.

This however, is not my point tonight. I just would like to point out that THIS...

is now merely a decoration in my house because it never got the reaction I thought it should.

That is all.

Bizzaro.

It was bound to happen...

Who sez there is too much much exposure on the internet?



Alas. Some people are just jerks.

Regardless, I got a great compliment the other day and I quote, "Bizzaro is the slapstick gothkid of magic". This ranks up there with the time Doug Scheer called me the "Gomez Addams of magic".

This brings to mind a quote I recently heard that was uttered by Ghandi. "Be the change you want to see in the world". I firmly agree with this and it applies to many aspects of life, including the performing arts. You can blend in with the crowd and pull doves out of yer ass the same way everyone else does... or maybe instead, you dress up like a dove and produce magicians!! (Don't laugh, it's been done) If you are sick and tired of seeing the same old tripe, then DO something about it. Sure you run the risk of being pigeonholed as a certain type of act. However, this makes you unique and the only thing worse than being talked about.. is NOT being talked about. - Oscar Wilde

So if you want to see some change, maybe you should get on the ball and make the line start with you. Besides, what's the worst thing that could happen?

Be the ball...

Bizzaro.

Are you Finnish?

I favor the French personally but that's besides the point. (Also, these people are besides the point, but that too is besides the point.)

So on another forum I tend to hang out on too much, a finger was pointed to This post where some wanker asked a question and it devolved into what it usually does.... jaw flapping drivel. Now I am not without irony because let's face it, I do my fair bit of mandible moving on this journal, but hey, you don't have to read it so Nyah!!

However, that's not the point. The question that was asked was "How do you know your act is finished?" I immediately had an opinion on this. (What a shock I know) So since I won't sully my good name on that board, I shall instead wax poetic here for all to see. (ew!)

A live act such as those that we perform in the magic world can ALWAYS evolve and change. It is NEVER finished. It can be in a state of content completion. It can stay the same for YEARS. However, due to random stimuli we discover new or easier ways to handle and effect. Perhaps we crate a moment or bit of business that works better than something we already have. Old ideas can be re-introduced and cycle in and out for the purposes of experimentation.

ANYONE who thinks they are a master of their craft and their magic don't stink and therefore has no need to change any further or evolve is an uppity dick who has no right to call himself an artist. Everything is in a constant state of flux. Magic, dance, theater, life, business, dogs and cats.. LIVING TOGETHER!! Er..sorry.

Regardless, you may have a routine that has been the same since before Gawd, but there is ALWAYS a chance to tweak it. Even if it is un-perceivable by anyone else but you. You might change the timing to make a bit or line funnier. You might reword the same joke to have a better impact. The only way TO become better is to be open to change an d not be afraid to experiment. If you are afraid to fall, you will never soar high with the other.

I think I made my points don't you?

Bizzaro.

I sense a theme...

There are these websites online that have compiled lists of the more commonly agreed on magical effects.They are as follows:
*Production
*Vanish
*Transformation
*Restoration
*Teleportation
*Levitation
*Penetration (Sounds dirty don't it?)
*Prediction (Think Menatlism, but you knew I was going to say that right?)

So most magical effects can be pigeonholed into one of these categories right? WRONG!! While traveling down one of our highways here in Dallas in a moving truck with Aaron Stone, we got on this topic. I decided to try and fit a few of the effects I have created and use into these here above slots.

I came up empty. Thus I stumbled upon a new category that needs to be added to this list. I like to call it (drumroll) Forced Visuals. What does that mean you ask? Simple. It's a non sequitur that takes what people know and uses it against them. It's a prop that does something they know said object cannot do, but yet does it anyway. It is a forced perspective of the mind using visuals that may or may NOT mesh with their established reality.

Many of my favorite performers use this technique to entertain throngs of crowds all the time. Some people might call this sight gags or throw aways. It goes much deeper, usually on a psychological level that most people could not put into words nor would they want to because only people like me think about this kind of useless crap!

I need to get out more I think.

Bizzaro.

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors...

But I think that Itricks has a sick sense of humor. (Just kidding guys. I needed something to tie the song lyric to the post.)

Anywho, if you believe what they say, then next Tuesday you will get to see my grinning visage on a show that I personally can't believe lasted this long. In celebration of this... um.. thing... I have decided to dispense some advice should you ever find yourself in a similar position. (missionary?)

Having been on two TV contest shows (And possibly a third if I'm lucky) I want to throw a few ideas your way. First thing should be a given, but try as I might some poeple need this idea beaten into their damn heads. Be Professional! Seriously. There is nothing worse than a performer who does not conduct himself in a way not becoming of a person who does his art for a living. (hunh?)

In the same vein, don't be a prima donna dick. (or cunt if yer a chick. You are not excused from this article just because you have breasts. Sorry. Also, if that word offends you.. deal with it.) You cannot.. or more accurately, SHOULD not go into a place such as a recording studio and expect to be treated any differently than the rest of the cattle and then throw a fit when they don't bend to yer every beck and call.

Also, be nice to the other performers. (Who return the courtesy of course) This is a PRIME time to network, meet other people who know people, hand out cards, etc. You never know when knowing someone with a similar or differing talent might come in handy. If you treat them like crap, (And vice versa), then you will be known as that arrogant performer who no one wants to work with. This goes for the people running the show. They can edit yer sorry ass out like you never existed.

From a magician standpoint, it is also a good idea to go perform some minor miracles for the other non-magical performers who might be in their 3rd hour of stale donuts and false sincerity. Go cheer them up and be sociable. Free samples are never bad in these situations. Also, from a magician standpoint, don't be discouraged when they don't pick you out to advance or win. Magic takes it from behind in most contests... on or off TV. Remember what you are REALLY there for: Name Recognition. The more people who know who you are, the more pull your name has, the more you can charge down the road. Also doesn't hurt to pad your demo reel with some footage of you on national TV.

So to re-cap: Be professional, DON'T be an asshat, hand out free samples, and make nice with everyone because you just never know.

Experience is ALWAYS the best teacher.

Bizzaro.

According to this product, you can conjure up tears in an instant. I say why stop there. Get this:

and have the whole ROOM in tears!!

They'll never forget you.

Bizzaro.

Another word for Thesaurus?

So I got to thinking about something the other day that may or may NOT help you become more creative. This one definitely ranks high on the list of "theory". (No need for a number behind that. It's too low on the list.) Anywho, on to my point. (yes I have one and not just on the top of my head) Ready for this one? Vocabulary!!

(Dramatic pause)

Crack open a dictionary and look up words you aren't familiar with. Here is a good exercise: Go to your Myspace account and look at the update mood section. Go thru the lost of moods and see what all of the ones you don't know mean. Here is a good place to go - M-W.com.

Ok so now that you have stopped looking at me like the RCA dog, allow me to explain. If you don't know what something is then you can't know what it does. The more ways you can interpret the world around you and recognize the terms, the better you can visualize the mechanics or props you might need. This in turn will help you be more creative as you are armed with the proper knowledge to add two and two together and get... 5.

I told you math was hard.

Bizzaro.

Chicken Dinner!!

Sorry, flashbacks from watching 21 (Did that movie come and go or what?). Anywho, we have a winner for the BAMF! contest I started last week. It seems Andy has been stalking me on my other sites and figured out that I finally got a license to Kill.. er.. drive. (for those keeping score I am 29, so you do the math cuz' I suck at it. 2+2=fish ok?) You may think it's sad or funny, but you should hear the embarrassing stories.

Enuff of that silliness, he wins a manuscript of how to accomplish this miracle of magical craziness (Assuming he can understand my writing). Speaking of which, I am considering marketing this thru a third party publishing house. I don't expect it to tbe the next big thing BUT I think people can use it as it has gotten HUGE reactions for me. What do you think? Answer the poll to the right!! Be heard in 08'!!

Tomorrow, advice on a way to be more creative. All it takes is a book. Think it over and I'll be back.

Math is hard...

Bizzaro.

Card tricks for the close-up impaired...

Some of you might recall a post made a while back about a local bar we have been performing a variety show at. Well tonight was our first time at the new venue, (Protip: When a bar starts screwin' yah, go find a new place close-by... but don't forget to take your crowd with you.) Anywho, tonight I didn't have time to swing by the ol' HOD (House of the Dead for those of you not in the know) and grab the props for what I had planned tonight. I got caught up being an extra in a film being shot here locally. I won't say what it is, but it had Ron Jeremy in it, and if you know who THAT is... you need to spend less time on those sites.

So back to my point (As if these posts EVER have those!): Can you entertain a crowd of people in a stage setting with JUST a deck of cards? Yes you can!! (Not yes YOU can, but it IS possible. Chances are you might be one of those who is the magic equivalent of someone who couldn't get laid in a female prison with a fist-full of pardons.) Now card in hand is NOT stage worthy. Neither is triumph or any of them knuckle busting effects you have worked so long and hard on just to end up with carpel tunnel and an impressive book collection. When it comes to magic on stage with cards, simplicity is your friend.

What effects might play well in that situation you ask? My two go-to tricks in a pinch (Or goose) are mouth card and cards to pocket. Card in Mouth has inherent humor as anything done with the mandible area tends to be funny. (If you are working a bar crowd, the zipper is the same way.) Cards to pocket, (where the whole deck ends up in your empty pocket save for the one they selected), also has built in humor. It builds as the cards just keep coming from the previously shown empty area. With the right drunk audience member and a deck of cards you can create something that no sleight of hand move will ever accomplish... you can actually be... dare I say it.. entertaining!!

These are not the ONLY ones obviously. They are however two simple effects that always tend to please and garner laughs. (I say always, but there is some ass klown out there who I am sure is the exemption to EVERY rule) Mind you, with the right presentation and patter ANY effect can be entertaining. The best thing to do is find a trick that leaves the mechanics on the sidelines for a bit and allow your personality and improv skills to shine thru.

Don't you wish they sold canned off beat and improv on a stick?

Bizzaro.

I want you monkeys to see this and learn a lesson once and for all.


Did you see that? It was a Miser's Dream effect... done silent.... done different. Watch where and how he gets the laughs AND how he gets the magic done. Just because you may know the method, does that make it any less effective? No. Just because it's a plot device you are familiar with, does it make it any less entertaining? No. Is it simple and effective? YES!!

How many of you out there think you could do something like this? Magic, entertaining, AND engaging? Put yer damn hand down, it was a rhetorical question. This video is a prime example on how magic can be fun, easy, and most importantly, MAGICAL!!

Now go home and study because I expect a 3 page report on why you suck!! Don't forget to use the Firefox Spell checker. Otherwise you might mispell a word like rhetorical.

I know where you live....

Bizzaro.

Another contest?

Sure why not? I have a new effect I have been toying with (It is a card effect, but a damn good one) and if you want to be the lucky mofo to know how it works WAY before I tell anyone else about it, then you have to riddle me this Batman: What did I procure today (or whatever day you read this) that anyone who knows me would never believe I would EVER get?

You are not allowed to answer if you already know. The only hint you get is that it's not a magic effect.

Update: Here is footage of the effect I am working on.


It's made of Goesfast_TM.

Bizzaro.

Let's do the time warp again...

Lost in time... and lost in space: Remember one of the days during our guest week when we didn't have a column? Well it turns out someone with a time sphere (Stolen from Rip Hunter, and if you know who that is you need to get out more.) went into the future and stole this post right out of my journal and then altered reality so we just THOUGHT it never existed.

Well after a climactic battle with the Flat Screen Monitor, we have recovered said post brought to you by none other than Justin Robert Young over at itricks.com The best part is it kind of correlates into a post I made previously. It all makes sense now!!!!

--------------------------------------------

There is a wise saying going around the internet these days: content is king.

Believe me, it’s relevant. It’s incredibly relevant. In fact, it’s tattoo-it-on-your-mouse-hand-so-you-have-to-look-at-it-before-
you-think-about-clicking-the-“publish”-button relevant.

It means that if you’re going to generate a web presence, you need to think long and hard about what your page is for and why it’s there. Who is going to read this and what would be the best experience for them.

When it comes to the web, you are not designing a house, where you can be comfortable. In reality, you’re designing an amusement park with entrances, exits, monorails, food stands and secret subterranean detention facilities all strategically placed to make sure your audience sees what you want them to, which in turn is hopefully what they want to see.

I am not going to tell you what is good content and bad, that is too big a topic. Rather, I am begging you to get out of its way.

So… does this have anything to do with magic?

Yes it does. Thanks for asking.

Too many sites for magicians try to do too much. Here are my press clippings, here is how to book me, here is my blog, here is a photo of my 4 year old punching a fish. And that’s just the home page.

Then there are sites that ask you as you enter: are you a prospective gig or a magician? At which point, both readerships are forced to go through one more step before you even BEGIN to give them content they MIGHT find relevant.

Both of these have one thing in common. They don’t know which way to tell the reader to go. Imagine if you pulled onto the highway looking for a sign to tell you how to get to an exit and when you came across one it read "I don’t know, you pick." Every second a reader doesn’t get what they want is another second they are thinking about going somewhere else to find it.

My suggestion? Compartmentalize. Your booking site should be a slick tour through your accomplishments with contact information readily available to take advantage of as soon as they are convinced and that alone. Your site for magicians should cater to magicians and them alone, look at your own online experience and think about what you like and more importantly what you hate. Build the experience around that but never stop thinking like the reader. This also means you should have separate URLs for each, to eliminate distraction as much as possible.

As for the picture of your fish-punching four year old? That scaly thug had it coming, leave it on the front.

So many words.... None of them good.

Rocks fall... everyone dies.

Bizzaro.

Shiny captain...

So I thought it was a time for change. A time for peace, a time for... sorry, got lost in song there for a second.

With the customizations option that this site implemented about ooooh, a year+ ago, I figured it was time to take full advantage of it like yer prom date after you slipped that GHB in her drink.

To spice things up, I'm even willing to let you give me YOUR opinion... sort of. If you look to your right there is a poll I have posted so you can tell me if you like the new layout. If this is yer first time here, I even made an option for you so yah dun feel left out.

Hey this might be a good time to offer up some advice regarding magic websites. Two things. Have content and change it from time to time. The more stuff there is to see and do on yer site, the longer they will stay and the longer YOU stay in their memory. Add stuff, take away things, make light of the updates you make from time to time so people will KNOW something is going on.

You ever notice that when a band is working on a new album, they change their site to reflect that new body of work or the album art itself? Why not do that with yer magic site. If you get new promo photos done, or move in a new direction, let your site reflect that. This also falls under the category of content and ways to keep people coming back to your site.

Also, I want to add, for those do it yourself folks, learn the "Target="_Blank" tag. This will help prevent people from navigating away from your page and forgetting to come back. It opens links in a new window. Very handy for anything you link to off-site.

Remember: Your site must stay in their sight...

Bizzaro.

Rhime of the ancient stage magician...

I doubt Iron Maiden will ever cover this, but as well you know, stage magic has taken it in the ass in the last decade. (Tho' oddly enuff, the stage performances at WMS were better than the close-up in my humble but jaded opinion.) There are still some people out there fighting the good fight.

It's rare someone offers advice on theatrical or stage magic. Much like creativity, it's something you have to do.. and do.. and do.. and do over again before you find yer groove thang. However, there is nothing with being prepared for battle by letting others who have been there before you offer up some helpful hints.

Big Daddy Cool has been around for some time out in the musical hills of Tennessee. I can't fault a guy who likes stylish suits and swing music. With that in mind, on his blog of ooey gooey-ness, he is offering up a chapter a month of his book, Theatrical Magic. Advice from someone who has been working it. The ups and downs. The ins and outs. The to and fro. The yin and yang. The Vin And the Diesel.... um.. I think I ran out of things to say.

Regardless, if you want to read more than a chapter a month, he has a way to pick up the whole shiny shebang in one handy dandy little package. So go buy.. er.. by and give your head something to chew on.

It's hungry...

Bizzaro.

Curses, Saran Wrapped Again!!

"I don't like my language Watered down." - Ani DiFranco

I was discussing the use of expletives in performance the other day with a friend who has developed a new act of a disgruntled birthday party performer. In the earliest incarnation, the character cussed up a storm for the sake of a fallback almost. We both agreed that they shouldn't cuss at all except every so often. It is my firm belief that a well placed explfuckitive can be very funny.

See?

There are people who view this world as a crude place. Funny thing is, it always has been, and it's been WAY worse in the past. People are more polite now than they were back 100 years ago. Ever watch Deadwood? Yah me either. However, there are still those who have been told certain words are bad. Without researching where they come from, what they initially meant, or anything of that nature. We are told a word is bad as a kid and thus perpetuate this silly myth. As magicians we know all too well that words only have the power that we ourselvs put into them thru belief. Just as someone might be offended by the word crap (And ban you from a magic message board), you could easily be offended by someone uttering "Rutabaga". Hell there are some stupid twats who don't read this journal cuz' I say things like Asshat. In truth, I'm glad. I wouldn't wanna party with those people anyway. CLEAN CUP, CLEAN CUP!! MOVE DOWN, MOVE DOWN!!

Any performer, especially any one over the age of 40, who is worth their SALT has a mouth like sailor. You'd never know it because they are professionals and can plaster on that smile and do 5 kids shows in a day. You get them in a group of their peers, they say stuff you would never believe. This goes for the females too. I would rather spend an afternoon with a real entertainer than someone who thinks their whole life needs to be an edit.

This subject is like any other on this planet. Everyone has their opinion and they are entitled to it. There is no right or wrong answer, just groups of people who believe there is one. To end this silly tirade, just remember to be yourself and if it's how you are... don't apologize to anyone who you don't respect who gets offended. However, you should ALWAYS use professional discretion if you ant to be viewed as a professional. Just remember, we can't sugar coat the world...

we'd eventually get sick of the taste.

Bizzaro.

Put it on my bill...

So keeping in the vein of last night's post about new effects and the plots they use, let's talk about money. I don't mean Pink Floyd tunes either.

Two effects that come to mind are all of the variations of Patrick Page's Easy Money and the 100 Dollar Bill Switch. When it comes to changing a stack of paper to a different one, I prefer the idea behind Page's initial idea. Useless pieces of paper to money. Easy to follow and it doesn't take a step backwards.

That really is my biggest problem with these two money effects. The presentation is a thinly veiled bit of silliness. "I am going to change dollar bills to something MUCH BETTER.. oh wait.. maybe not. Just kidding. I'm an asshole and yer a victim of my ass hattery. Sorry... but not really." Just makes no... damn...sense.

Lately there has be a HUGE upswing on the Easy Money/Flash Cash concept. One such is Tom Isaacson, (Whom I met at WMS, and is a real nice guy), who has a damn good change. It's only downside is that it is VERY fast. If yer movements are more geared towards fast and flashy then his is the best hands down. However, if you are more inclined to a smoother more dramatic countenance, then Heiny 500 or Extreme Burn might be more yer cup of tea. The best thing about so many variations is there is BOUND to be something for you to use. Personally.. I won't do any of them... it's not my jock strap of tea.

If I was to perform it, I would use it as a transposition from paper to money and use a switch wallet. It makes more sense, and seems more magical. Takes the heat off the props even more in my opinion. I think the BEST 100 dollar bill switch presentation I have EVER seen was done by a guy named Doug Scheer. (Who is also a nice guy) His was also a transposition but used photographs and a serial number to baffle the hell out of people. (Not gonna explain the routine here, as it might be his idea and no need for un-necessary ripping off of routines aye?)

So, all of that aside, stop doing bill changes that make no sense. For my sake if nothing else. Don't insult your audiences intelligence...

Just insult your audience. (Grin)

Bizzaro.

FORK YOU!!

So as well ALL know, yes even you there... not looking at me or paying attention... we all know that levitation is the ridiculous end all, be all of magical flatulence in people's minds. However, there are a myriad of floaty shit that can be done. From something as cumbersome as the broom suspension or super-X (If you have no idea what I am talking about, you probably shouldn't be reading this journal anyway. Instead why not go peruse something more your speed?)

Where was I? Ah yes, levitation and it's variants. So you have suspensions, where the object of affliction doesn't really move.. it just kinda hangs there.. like a four hour viagra binge. There is also the bastard children of that category. The "Stuff that sticks to yer hand for NO damn reason" effects. Moving a little further down the line, we have levitations where an object comes only a few inches (if yer lucky) off of a surface. Most "Street" levitations fall under this dynamic as do many others. Then you have yer full on chubbby flotations. Usually employing some unseen form of hook up. These allow you to move the object in free space and show no visible means of support. (like some girls I know.)

Ok so yer asking, "Yes yes we know alla this. Why are you wasting my time with yer hairy vernacular?" Don't worry, it's as simple as you are. I am pimping a new effect soon to hit the shores and figure you might be interested. It comes from the mind of a man who has brought you many fine ways to float objects such as cigarettes and yourself. (Aside from many other fine things of strange allure.)

This effect would almost fall under the excel column of "suspension" due to it's nature of performance, but after you watch This Video you might disagree with that notion. Magic with a normal everyday object that seems very organic and un-obtrusive? Why the hell not? Don't like it? Screw you. Don't buy it. I'll do it and be a golden god at the dinner table. You can lick your wounds and your split spades deck.

This endorsement has NOTHING to do with the fact that Mr. Fearson is a friend of Fire Cat Studios. If the effect was merely "Enh" we just wouldn't mention it. We DO have SOME standards after all....

But not a lot.

Bizzaro.

DANCE MONKEY, DANCE!!

Piggy-backing on a post I made last month, I want to touch on some recent events and advice that might help you out as well.

Here in Dallas, we have started a weekly variety show at a bar. We set up shop on their backporch, and have free run of the place. We do an hour show and ask for tips. Right now there are four of us (Three magicians and one sideshow performer, all with our own unique styles) so we pretty much break even for food and gas after the money split. However, if we pull in enuff people, we can possibly get paid to do this and garner quite a following AND sell off merch in the long run.

Why did I bother you with the details of MY life? As an example of how easy it is to find places to perform and make a little money while you practice in front of real people WEEKLY. Nothing makes you better and field tests those new routines, than a weekly gig.

So find some friends, make some flyers, get a bar with a back porch and an open mind. You start bringing in a crowd on a usually lackluster night, they will not only appreciate you, but other live alternative acts in the long run. (Long run being the operative term. Something like this will not be a success right from the start. You have to stick it out and ride the waves of ups and down, good weather and bad.)

So get yer asses out there and become better performers by actually performing.

You'll be glad yah did.

Bizzaro.

So guest week was an ALMOST wavering success. Aside from having to jaws of life some people into writing something and having almost NO volunteers, I enjoyed seeing other's perspectives on the biz.. as it were. Regardless, we will eventually resume your normal torrent of mind numbing magic banter when I get over the gig I did on Monday. There is a reason I am a stage magician and not some short haired commie sell out who does corporate functions to further my "I'm better than you" fund so I can live in some lofty castle and look down on people while doing cocaine off the backs of 12 year old asian prostitutes.

But enough about Todd Diamond, if you like video games and like to hear people with an accent that is NOT american, then watch THESE as they are funny as hell.

By the way just kidding Todd...

Maybe.

Bizzaro.

For the end of guest week, we bring to you Della Deadgirl from the Dead Girl Circus. Word to yer mothers...

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It's Mother's Day. Isn't that exciting? One of a handful of days in the year where you magic-minded folks might be shuffling a different variety of cards. Now, this is Bizzaro's rant-space normally, and a Mom's Day blog is prolly the last thing you expected. But I've taken it over for the day, and as a mom myself, I feel obligated to say at least a little something.

We're performers, and we draw inspiration from lots of places. A lot of us started when we were just kids, and not necessarily in magic. I'll try and keep it focused there, but it really encompasses all performing. Our first audience, by and large? Our parents. Magicians, especially the young ones, need at least some form of encouragement to grow enamored enough with the art to practice often. A mom's well placed "Wow" or look of surprised amazement, even if it's faked, can do much to inspire a young magic hatchling.

Houdini said "my mother was everything to me." It was her death that influenced his interest in spiritualism, and busting fake mediums. David Blaine was raised by a single mother for most of his formative years, and his mother was enough of an influence on his magic career that she's mentioned on almost every site that contains even a hint of his biography. Not many magicians do that.

Now, your situation may be different. Not too many of us led the picture perfect childhood. But in one way or another, our moms shape who we are. Good, bad, strange or otherwise, you are who you are because of them. Likewise, your magic, or whatever your performance art may be, is touched by them as well. They make you, you make magic. So, take a sec and do something nice for your old lady. And if you're one of those who's already spawned an offspring or two, do something nice for the lady who was kind enough to not make you sleep on the couch that night.

It's the least you can do for the ones that still watch your tricks, tell you when you flash something too badly, collect your memorabilia if you have it, and get drunk at your shows so they can tell people, "Hey, you see that guy on stage there? That's my son! Isn't he fuckin' amazing?!"

Keep it freaky,
~Della

Sorry about no rant on Thursday. Not enuff people sucked it up and contributed so there are gonna be a few gaps BUT we have a nice one for Mother's Day this Sunday... until then, we're gonna force Aaron Stone to talk to you a bit. We're not giving him back his heavy deck till' he's done.

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Hey everyone. I'm Aaron Stone. None of you probably have any clue who I am. For good reason -- I'm on the younger end of the scale in the performance world. I got into magic for the simple fact that I had no social life and needed a way to get out of my shell and meet people. Why do I tell you this?
That is the only bit of information I can give you to make myself credible.

Not really... here's a bit more info that might help. I've been performing for just shy of six years now. You know, learning how to swim by being thrown into the lake, that sort of thing. My junior year of high school I ranked among the top 18 most humorous students in the state of Texas. Okay, enough about me, I just want you to know I'm not making up stuff as I go along. (Even though I, in fact, am).

When you first meet someone, you judge them. No two ways about it, you judge them based on how they portray themselves and their appearance; their demeanor; their gait; their car, their zip code... subliminally you make decisions about people you don't know without even thinking about it.

So, what does this have to do with performance arts? Everything!!!
You have all but seconds to win over an audience. Sure, you can redeem yourself if you're lucky later on, but it's a nightmarish war between your intentions and the audience's perceptions.

Every performer needs an introduction. Not necessarily your traditional, "Please welcome to the stage Ben Dover and his band the Buttplugs!" but an introduction, nonetheless. Below you'll find a handy reference of different introduction types to suit your fancies and introductorial fetishes.

1. Traditional. - See Above paragraph -
2. Intermittent. You start off your show with no formal introduction, usually something set to music, and can set your character or mood easily. After a short time, an intro is then given, such as: "BLAH BLAH MUSIC AND STUFF - PAUSE - I wish to welcome you to a world of power and wonder, where gophers explode and penguins collide. Sit back and enjoy the bewildering performances of: Weirrdo!"
3. Radically Informal. As simple as it gets. Anywhere during the first few moments of your show/act, it is stated or implied: "Hello Everyone, I'm Shawty Swappin and this is the World's Ghetto Mall of Mystery!" Continue with el performance.

There are a few examples to tickle your cerebellum. Now, how do you really apply or create an intro that will do more good than harm?
Any introduction (as well as at least 98% of any performance) should be scripted. You need to know exactly what you are going to say, express, or portray and can work it in your sleep. The introduction is important enough to do it! (The whole show should be, but people judge you more strongly on the intro and the ending...). You need to have words that will work towards your goal as a performer.
For example, if you do a show that is mystical and creepy, you shouldn't have an intro that is giddy and happy, referencing cute bunnies and unicorns of giddiness. In turn, if you have a happy show, you shouldn't start your show with a brain-seeking lawyer zombie craving the blood of republicans. (Sorry Republicans. If that offends you, replace the word "Republicans" with "Democrats").

Lucky for you who don't write intros, there are lots of stock intro lines you are welcomed to use. Just don't use them more than once per intro, and it shouldn't come out like total crap.

Common intro phrases:
"We've got a great show for you tonight."
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, blah blah blah,"
"Over the next hour/half hour/sixty minutes we'll take you on a visual roller coaster, complete with the ups, downs, and the annoying random stops in the middle of the track."

Tweak them to fit your needs.


Putting it all together!

Things to include in an introduction:
1. Thanks for attending
2. Who you are
3. Where you are from
4. What you are doing for the show
5. Acknowledge sponsors, if any
6. Thank the venue / host
7. Wish the audience to enjoy the show.

That's it!
So, without further adieu, here is an actual intro from beginning to end.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you all for coming out to the 5th Annual Pancake Death Festival! My name is Aaron Stone, and I'll be your guide throughout this magical evening. I come from a small town you've never heard of with a population less than that of your average nightclub. Over the course of the next half hour, we'll all see some hilarious things. From death-defying card tricks to amazing sleight-of-hand publicity stunt escapes, the next thirty minutes of your life will be a jam-packed fun time. Remember, there will be no camera tricks, and no one here will die that you cared about anyway...so, without further adieu, the Founder Tiger's Club proudly presents, ME!"

The lights flash, the music cranks up, and the show begins with a high energy.
Poof. Amazing.

I hope you've made sense out of all this. If you've made it this far, your reading skill has increased by 1+ point.

Remember, people are watching...and argue as you will, you have one chance for an audience to like you.

~Aaron Stone

Guest week continues on with a rant from a long time reader, Christopher Lyle. Don't be this guy.
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WTF!!!!!


So when the "B" man opened up his blog to his cronies, I got excited and a plethora of different things ran thru my twisted little mind of what I wanted to piss and moan about. So many issues...so little time!

But I was inspired the other day by an event so I'm putting all my other frustrations aside and I shall rant about the events that took place.

So listen up Katz and Kittenz cause I'm only gonna say this ONCE! "Knowing how to do a few card tricks and having a couple of instructional DVDs out DOES NOT make you a Magician! Nor does working at a Magic Shop for that matter!" Any ass hat with a deck of cards and a video camera can whore themselves out on You Tube or claim greatness on liner notes to a DVD...but are we supposed to buy into their self proclaimed hype? I think not!

Just recently, I met a young man who was "CLAIMING" to be a Magician. For the sake of the story, we'll call him Ben. It's my hope that Ben reads this and figures out it's he whom I'm talking about and will work hard to change his ways.

Ok...so the day was sultry. I walked thru the door of one of the local magic stores and was quickly greeted by the (ahem) magi behind the counter! "Ahhh...a new face," I said to myself. I walked up to this character and stated what I needed and to introduce myself. His response was "do you want to see a trick?" Much to my surprise, I said "sure!"

The person in question could be best described as David Blaine on downers! I almost wanted to hold a spirit glass under his nose to see if it would fog up. He had no personality and I could tell from the get go that he was an incredible flake! He took me thru a few poorly executed effects that would have made Helen Keller shout "Damn...that looked like shit!"

I could see that this person had a lot of enthusiasm when it comes to magic...so at least I was able to find one good quality in the pile of kaka that was to come. However being enthusiastic can sometimes blur the boundaries of proper etiquette. Most Magicians remember the time in their life where this person is right now. We remember what it was like when the walls between us and the "secrets" start to chip away. It is a very exciting time for people who really want to learn magic. So most all magicians are eager to help and guide the "new guys" as I attempted to try...for the good of the art. So I attempted to help this person out...showing them how to make their level of performance better.

The behavior and attitude that he exhibited was embarrassing and crude and extremely unprofessional of someone who aspires to be a professional magician...and in my opinion is not a good front man for a Magic Shop...but I digress. He made the mistake that every aspiring magician makes at least once in his life when his knowledge and ability becomes threatened among people much more knowledgeable, experienced, and talented than he is. He took a defensive attitude with me.

Magicians have to have respect for each other as well as respect for the people they try to "fool." It is important for someone that receives the gift of a "secret" to be courteous to those that gave it to him. It is also important for a Magician that they not use a trick to try to belittle the person watching. We as Magicians have to keep in the back of our minds that we could be performing for surgeons and rocket scientists and even though our tricks may seem incredible at one moment in time they will matter very little when the surprise fades away. As a Magician, there are certain "dos and donts" that we all live by and this guy acted with total disregard to them all.

I could quickly see it was going to come down to me kicking the living crap out of this guy, or us seeing who had the bigger penis. I wasn't about to do either so I left. A few days pass, and I find out this guy is SELLING two DVDs of his work (or shall I say other people's work). He's been in Magic for all of 5 minutes, and since he knows a few card tricks (barely) and works the counter at a Magic Shop, he now thinks he's part of the brotherhood...the 90210 crowd? WHAT THE "F"??? I don't think so!

So the whole point of this short story long is that when you're just starting out in Magic, be receptive to criticism from your peers who have been where you're at many years before you began in magic.

Magicians in general are very similar to Masons or any other "secret brotherhood." Although we may not be as organized we do feel that our history is VERY important. We are all subject to certain inner politics and traditions. It is important that we stay humble regardless of what we feel our abilities are. If I can respectfully give this guy any advice, it would be to:

Swallow his pride, listen to what others have to offer, and then make up his mind quietly and to himself and act respectful. He will never learn anything by talking. We can only learn by staying quiet and opening our ears and our minds.

So to all the newcomers out there...click the "X" on the corner of the E! website and quit masturbating to your Brad Christianson DVDs. Put down the shiny new hunk of crap you picked up thru the mail order catalog and read a book why don't you. How about Erdnase to start. Maybe Expert Card Technique...or Royal Road to Card Magic. Hell...pick up Tarbell for cryin' out loud!

Be able to perform one effect PERFECTLY instead of half-assing yourself thru 30 effects poorly. For the good of the art...I beg you!!!!

I'll always be watching!

Guest Week

Sorry I missed yesterday. I was distracted by something shiny... So to make up for it, I have two, count them two essays from a good friend of Fire Cat Studios, Dwayne Andrew.

"Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible" [Frank Zappa]
If one person wears outrageous clothing then he is just a freak. If a few people wear the same things then it is probably a cult. Done for a short time it becomes a fad; given enough time it then becomes fashion,(I am positive this is how neckties got their start) at what point does society stop ridiculing the unusual, when it becomes beneficial- how about when you can no longer avoid it in your daily life. Maybe I can accept diversity in private but is it OK to ridicule people if I am with my friends ,It makes me look so much cooler.
In the early seventies a Harvard professor declared that the worlds necessity for personal computers would be about four, talk about missing the mark. Why would anyone need a car phone, I have a phone at the office and one at home thats enough, besides a personal phone seems just too extravagant and ostentatious. Maybe someone should have told Michael Angelo to tone down his paintings after all some of it looks so pornographic. Well I guess I can get
used to inventions and fads that may come in handy, but I don't want to stop making fun of people that are different from me and my friends. By the way, I wonder what I would look like with a facial-piercing and a tattoo. Hey you, get a horse.

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I realized something rather important, we make the points about certian character flaws in those who detract from our line of work and then say "you know who you are". Truth be told they dont know who they are.
Just as everyone who sings in the shower thinks they should win American Idol. Every schmuck who buys a stripper deck or TT thinks they have the same level of show that you do. It is just not true, and they will never get that lesson unless someone else points it out to them.
In college or at a job our professors; and sometimes our bosses will let us know when we are screwing up, ( or failing ). In magic we dont really have that.
By not pointing out a bad performers gross attrocities we are doing ourselves a big disservice.
Question is do you do it with a smile or a gun, i guess it depends wether you want them to sink or swim.
If you are an amature please dont introduce yourself as a magician. I prepare my own taxes, but I I dont call myself an accountant. You are not fooling anyone except yourself.
I came out of a different era. A time when you would apprentice to a professional to learn your craft. I know you are thinking you dont need someone to teach you about magic. WELL THINK AGAIN. If you read books or watch videos, you are accepting a teacher. By working with a professional you will learn more than just magic. You will learn marketing, and sales ( you dont think that the world is just waiting to get your business card to call you, do you ). You will learn stage presence and blocking, movement and gesturing. You will learn about dealing with the client and audience. Some of the things I learned had to be modified for me to continue working regularly. Marketing tecniques have changed and so has the way agencies hire performers. But at least I had the background knowledge to be able to adapt to current conditions.
I bring this part up because I have had a rash of young men come to me and try to tear down my act or me personally because they believe they are superior in some way. I am a grown man who used to start barfights for fun. and this punk kid thinks I will suffer him gladly because his mommy said he is special. Well guess again, I gave him the verbal spanking his dear mommy should have given him physically on his younger ass. had he approached me in a polite manner with just a bit of respect I would have given him the world. It seems that so many people believe the world spins around them personally, If you take that attitude on stage with you, your audience will abanden you and leave you floundering around wondering what happened. And unfortunately this is affecting a lot of our younger people, because no one has taken the time to teach them about reality. And unfortunately we stand to lose some great talents when they get frustrated from life continually slapping them down.
I guess what it comes down to is that we need to hold ourself to a higher standard than we have in the past. At least then maybe we can be percieved on a higher entertainment value level than mimes.

If only we could be so lucky.

Dwayne Andrew

Well I am back from my amusing week in Vegas at WMS. Saw many fine effects, met some cool people (Who I shall tell you about later), and got to show off some of stuff and basically let people know just who the hell I am. (I tend to not "hang" in the magic community much. Shocker, I know.)

So rather than regale you with stories of Richard Pryor impersonations, bowling scores, or the people I got to shake hands with, I shall instead rant and rave about the silliness of magic propaganda.

Every time I see an ad or video that shows people reacting to something AmaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaazzzzzing and the copy promises miracles and astonishment and wonder and cheese and cantaloupe and whatnot, I laugh because magicians have been saying these things since magic catalogs were created.

Radiating lines and clip art of happy spectators and people who look like they smoke like a chimney... if it were the 1950's all over again. We pretend our little rubberband coin tricks and jiggling wads of tissue are the latest and greatest and promise they will make you look like a gawd (usually Buddha, who's not a deity per se, but you get my point).

Dunno why, but I thought I would share. Prolly had something to do with the mass amount of talk about marketing thrown at me this week. Apparently, the best trick of the convention was not for sale...

funny that.

Bizzaro.

PS: Still looking to see if anyone wants a guest spot over the next week to rant about.. well.. anything magic related. I'm gonna grab some of my friends and people I know, so we'll see how that goes.