Get yer head outta yer ass and into the clouds!!

If that had been the title of this new book I would totally buy it! However, this seems extremely dodgy if you ask me. "In the right place, at the right time.." Well yes but I could say that for any magic really.

Update: After reading the description again I decided to add my own comments as follows. (In bold)

"In this book the authors strip away the veil of secrecy, revealing cloud secrets only known to a select few. Learn to make clouds vanish and appear. Sculpture them into images of selected playing cards, thought of numbers, ESP symbols, faces, and even animals. Yes you too can play GOD!!

Nothing is held back! Apparently change the weather by delaying rain or snow or even by making it warmer. Believe it or not you can do a lot of this long distance by using a cell phone! With the material in this book you will be more than just a magician or mentalist. (You'll be a wanker) You will be a real miracle worker, who apparently has complete control over the elements! (No a real miracle worker would heal the sick and make the blind see. This is gonna be WAY sillier than that.)

The book will teach you how to:

* CAUSE A CLOUD TO VANISH FROM THE SKY. (it will only take 3-6 hours to accomplish)It will also show you methods where that cloud and ONLY that cloud vanishes. The others remain intact.
* CLOUD MATERIALIZATION --magician points to an empty space in the sky and causes a cloud to suddenly form. (By blowing smoke up your ass)
* BLUE SKY--magician causes ALL the clouds to vanish leaving a blue sky (Psychotropic drugs not included)
* Cloud Moving--How to make clouds Move (Also learn how to make birds FLY!!)
* Cloud Sculpture--change the shape of clouds into objects (Such as blobs and chunks and a bunny!)
* How Fake Psychics Stop & Start Rain (See Fig. 1)
* Secrets Behind Making Rainbows Appear (And how to channel Doug Henning. It's maaaaagic!)
* How to Reveal Selected Cards with Clouds (Cuz' nothing says I am a real wizard by whipping out a deck of cards right?)
* Make Thought of Numbers Appear in the Sky (Sky Writing Plane not included)
* All THIS AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!!! (Ok well maybe like one more thing.) "

Is it just me or are we starting to reach a bit for crap to sell to our magical brethren?

Bizzaro.

PS: If anyone has purchased Helter Shelter: The Movie lemme know what you think about it. I'd like to hear some feedback on it. Thanx.

Dirty deeds...

DONE WITH SHEEP!!!!

Ahem - Helter Shelter: The Movie has been released.

Crawling forth from the twisted mind of Bizzaro, the Optical Illusionist, comes Helter Shelter: The Movie.

A visual guide to the book of the same name, Helter Shelter will take you on a journey through the gruesome details of the Razor Blade Illusion Mystery as well as the haunted 13th Street Morgue.

The first video of its kind to explain the intricate workings of the razor blade illusion as well as tips, tricks, advice, and even a few unique effects exclusive to this video including the never before seen Bizzaro Fan Stand.

With a special appearance by Randi Rain and music by Alex Can't Sleep, Helter Shelter: The Movie is a rare treat for those souls willing to take a brave look inside. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Availible at fine magic dealers all over the damn place or check out the official HS:TM page.

I hate to be a shameless self-promoter... but I am.

For those of you who didna like the book, you probably won't like the video...

but buy it anyway!

Bizzaro.

I have noticed a VERY weird tend in magic as of late. Overly complicated methods and very particular handling to make a minor miracle happen. Problem is there are TONS of magic effects that freak people out on a daily basis. How do you compare one to another?

Does a coin appearing in an ice cube have a stronger effect than say something that takes less set up and props than the Pothole Trick? Both are equally strong but totally different and impossible.

Healed and Sealed is a great effect. However look at Coin in Can (Sinful). Same prop, but no set-up on one of them. Both are STRONG magic. The reason I think about this is because of the effect Frozen I saw recently. It had a GREAT idea for how to produce "Icy breath" but the things you had to do to get a coin in an ice cube is a bit much and fairly impractical for the working professional. (Really good for the casual "Street thug" magician. Don't get me started on that tho')

All I can say is I don't want to plan my day so carefully that I have to know how many ice cubes to make the day before and how far I can go before I lose all my props and get a soggy pocket. It so damn odd.

These kids today have no idea what it is like to be a working pro. They think harassing a person on the street with some ladybug in a pocketknife is magic. (To this day I have no idea how Goldenhersch keeps track of them damn butterflies he uses so well)

On another note that is very similar in song and dance, one of my magical fiends and I were discussing how there are a lot of card tricks out there but not very many GOOD ones. I agree and would like to add UNIQUE good ones. How many collectors or ace assembly tricks are there? K-RIST!! Too many to count. KISS baby..

The shortest way to a good time is a straight line.

Just ask my ex-girlfriend.

Bizzaro.

Free tricks for all!!

I'll make a real post soon, but here is a little something I devised recently and now you too can confuse people with modern technology!!

Bizzaro.

Nothing's ever easy...

It's hard work to make something easy look good. As magicians we do seem to forget that the simplest tricks are sometimes the most effective. Human beings are inherently notorious for making things more difficult on ourselves than need be. In reality, the simplest solution is the best or most effective.

It's almost... too easy.

Sponge balls are a good example. The solution to how it's done is so BLOODY obvious, but it's so easy that no one notices. (And those that do, well can't fool everyone aye?) Even something as easy as double lift showing the wrong card, then putting it in THEIR hand, and showing it change is more effective than ANY sleight of hand you can pull off.

The quickest path between two points is a straight line.

It's true. No reason to convolute something that doesn't need it. No reason to dress it up like a weasel for it to be clever. As magicians we forget the effectiveness of a simple trick. Possibly because there is no challenge in it for us AT ALL. Whatever the cause' the solution is to merely remember thus:

Work Smarter, Not Harder.

Bizzaro.

Repetition, part deux...

Before I talked about how doing the same thing over and over again makes you good at it. Now let's talk about choosing the stuff to DO over and over again. There is a lot of CRAP that comes out everyday in magic. Lots of it is a one trick baloney pony while others take way too long to reset or might be a tad cumbersome. (I'm looking at you ladybug from a drop of blood trick.)

Any pro table hopper will tell you re-setting is a blessing in your guise. Not only in effect but also pocket management. When it goes back in the way it came out is a wonderful thing. (That sounded kinda dirty) The reason I even bring up a lot of this stuff is recently I have been hired to perform daily at a local theme park and tend to do the same 10 minute set over and over again. (Gathering a crowd isn't the problem, it's getting them to go away.) If I had to walk over behind a wall or some such and reset some prop, it would A: Reflect bad on me and 2. Prolly piss off the people who hired me.

There is an old effect I used to do when I was much younger, but have had no reason to perform it anymore. I wanted to bring it back because it fits the character I portray. Problem is it required a rather annoying set up that wasn't always reliable. I put my strange melon to work and came up with a way to not only make it INSTANTLY repeatable, but also make it more believable and easier to perform as I can handle the props freely and without guile.

The reason I tell you this is that some effects, while NOT easy to reset or repeat, can be made to be so. You just have to teach and train yer brain to think a problem thru at every angle. If you want to do something, but can't find a way, don't give up. There is always a way. Nothing is impossible.. except for the things that are.

So when looking for your next effect or purchase in magic, think about where and when you are going to need it. How to bring it in and out of play and if it fits your character and flow of the show. When you can perform an effect relentlessly, day after day, with no futzing with a lengthy reset... that my children is when you are on your way on the path of enlightenment.

Reach Nirvana without that pesky shotgun.

Bizzaro.

Andrew Mayne has lost his damn mind...

150$... for THIS?

And some of you are going to buy it aren't you? You people make me sick.

I hope a midget saws your legs off.

Bizzaro.

Way of the future, way of the future, way of the future....

Repetition is part of our job as magicians. When you do a show on the street, in a restaurant, in a trade show, or in a setting such as a theme park or similar venue, you will be doing the same thing (With a few variations here and there) over... and over.. and over again.

It comes with the territory. The best thing about this is it will make you better, strong, faster than before. Of course you have to pay attention and enjoy what you're doing. This is where the art of improv and audience management comes into play. If you are one of the kind who gets ruffled easily if the crowd is messing with you, then you need more work and flight time. The best of the best of anything can filter out distractions or use them to their advantage.

This over and over again performance lets you find the best possible way to perform an effect and how to handle the crowd. What lines that do or do not work, the timing that gets the best reaction, and in some cases, when NOT to speak.

If you can secure a job where they pay you and you are not having to busk for tips then even better. The pressure is off of you and you can focus on the task at hand. Mind you performing in any of the aforementioned venues is working the trenches. It tests your resolve, skill, and definitely your patience.

The problem with most of the magi "Street" youth today is they are looking for the next big thing to make them an Asshat. A good bit of advice from any old worker is It is better to do four things well, than do 100 things badly". In this type of situation it is favorable to make an act that will be the best it can be that you can slip new stuff into and out of at will to keep it from getting stale as well. Having a few stock lines and using the crowd as your main source of lines and jokes is also a good idea.

By doing repetitions like this you will gather a rolodex of lines, moves, and tricks you can use at your disposal and make them seem like they are fresh and new, but in reality, you can cull them forth from your brain when they are needed.

Why do I feel I am repeating myself?

Bizzaro.

Gone Fishin'...

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine earlier tonight about your favorite rocker/goth/emo/poser, Criss Fishing Rod. About his performance style and exposure hurts sideshow and magic. I said I disagree and here is why...

First off: He is enabling weirdos to be more tolerated due to exposure thru the sheep machine that is the media. People will call up agencies wanting someone like Criss, but they can't afford him. They will be directed to the nearest sideshow performer or demented magician.

Secondly: No matter how much you see stuff on TV there is NOTHING like seeing it live. Glass walking, fire eating, putting needles in your flesh? Seeing that in the comfort of your own home is one thing. Seeing it live, raw, and uncensored is a totally different animal. You can see, touch, hear, and even smell it. This is why sideshows and magic have survived for years and will continue to for years to come. People have a desire to feed their freek and they are lucky enuff to have folks like us to help them live vicariously thru others.

So despite how I feel about emo boy selling his artistic integrity for a buttload of cash, every negative space has a positive inside of it.

The lure has been set. Let's see who bites.

Bizzaro.

I had a fan of this blog (Who knew) clamor for something new. For those who feel the same way, sorry for the delay. We have actually been fairly busy believe it or don't. Blame Misty Lee for some of that.. and congratulate her. She has big things ahead of her but I will not spill it myself. Go join her message board and get the info from her directly.

Regardless, I do have a little thing I have wanted to post about so while I await a phone call, I shall share with you thusly.

I was in a local nightclub I frequent (And test out new material) and someone I am acquainted with... a non-magi mind you, exclaimed this, and I quote - "Magicians aren't overrated, just their Persona." With no provocation or anything. He just blurted it out. (After watching some magic mind you but still..)

What does this say to the rest of you? Think about it. A free thinking non-magician believes most of us have a personality that we deem higher than we maybe should... sound familiar? Are you one of.. THEM!?

It is true. We put a lot of self-importance on what we do. Sure magicians bring happiness to kids, and the sick, and the inebriated... but in the grand scheme of things do we cure disease or find a way to end hunger? Let's face it, these new clothes we have on don't really exist and I for one am not afraid to stand up and say that we're all just naked and lettin' it all hang out.

Sure magic has changed people's lives and blah blah blah. There are no absolutes in this world and exceptions wait around every corner to bludgeon the rules and steal it's wallet. That, however, is not my point.

Don't be so self important. Seriously. Accept your role as a cog in the great machine. We choose this life to entertain others and ourselves. Maybe make a little scratch in the process. If you can make one person a day smile then you're doing a good work. Even if you don't do magic to make it happen. This world is full of enough turmoil and asshats already. Plastic people, false faces, and fake body parts. Let's stand up and be real for a little while hunh? It's your call.

Stand and fight.. Hoora!

Bizzaro.

Obviously nobody else is going to step up here and tell you the emporor is naked so I will be your vindictive force in this crazy magical world. Be warned all of you unscrupulous hack bastards... Bizzaro is watching you. (like Santa Claus but without the gifts.. or the coal.. or any reason to look forward to me watching you while you sleep.)

Video editing tools are available to every jackenape with a torrent program or even a copy of Windows XP. What does that mean for you the consumer? Easy. Doctored footage and tricky E-llusionist editing. All in the name to get you to buy a crappy lacluster demo video. Can't see it live? We'll cornhole you with flashy lights and annoying music. Why Here's One Now!! First off, if watching this you can't figure it out, get out of magic. Seriously. Second, whoever made this SERIOUSLY needs to learn how to do a crossfade.

So hear me now color changing rose guy... YOU HAVE MADE THE LIST!! You are an asshat and will be called forth on it here along with ever plastic bag, green bottle, rose spinning kokbite that follows you. Fear the list. Also let that be a warning to anyone else who decides to make mis-leading demos online. I'll find yer ass and tell the whole world about your deceptions...

Or at least the 5 people who still read this anyway.

Bizzaro.

Magic has lost something special this week... a man willing to still wear an ascot in public.



We have lost the biggest fashion statement in magic...

and he was not a bad sleight o' hand guy either I hear.

Bizzaro.

"I love noise and this life that it makes..."

So I was at the bus stop after picking up some of our Helter Shelter books to send out. (So if you're waiting you won't have to wait much longer.) Ran into a friend of mine and a friend of hers. I started doing magic for an innocent by-stander. The person who I had just met decided it was fun to explain how I was doing some coin manipulation.

I merely laughed and said "Don't lie to them like that." They were of course convinced that I was holding the coin behind my fingers or some such.. which is totally wrong. It was a Ramsey Subtlety. They also cited my sleeves at some point. So I decided to screw with em'.

I wear a trenchcoat... mostly all of the time. I'm a dork. Anyway, I can sleeve buicks and the pockets are great for ditching things into. SO I rolled up my sleeves, did a crappy sleight to throw them off, then in the moment or relaxation, I ditched the coin in my pocket but kept going like I was holding. I pretended to pass it from hand to hand a few times and then opened both hands slowly. The look on the skeptics face was, as always, priceless.

I told this story because I wanted to make a point. Don't let them win. If they think they know what's going on, throw them a curve ball. Some people can follow sleight of hand. They just can. It's a thing. However, if you sneak in a ringer,a gaff, or something else, they will have to stop and think. At that point, STOP! Be happy with your accomplishment.

I could have just as easily used a thumb tip or whatnot, but if your conviction is strong enuff, people will believe anything you tell them. What saves me in situations like that is knowing my wardrobe. Your costume/ outfit/ way you dress should always be taken into account. A true ninja is a master of himself and his environment.

Magic magic ninja's whut?

Bizzaro.

Magicians are sly.. really. I mean who else would have YOU pay to be a product tester? Oh the huge manatee. I think these guys don't know hos this works. You either hand out free products or PAY people to test your stuff.

By thinking you are involved in some big deal, you too will feel vindicated to spend your hard earned money, better spent on a book or video, to buy a shirt you could make yourself that works on basic mathematics. Do I sound a bit jaded? Maybe I am. Who knows.

Regardless, in other news: Helter Shelter: The Movie, despite small set backs, is moving right along. The movie itself is done and some of the special features are being tweaked/finished right now. It should be out, with luck, late June. If you wanna see some screen shots and get better updates on the DVD release go Here.

Nothing else to talk about today. Jog off.

Bizzaro.

So I decided to hop by ellusionist's website to see if anything amusing was going on there. Seems they have been reduced to novelty playing card peddlers as of late. The only thing they are pushing really on their main page, aside from those aforementioned decks, are Dan Harlan's Hover Card.

I actually liked this trick... especially when it came out A LONG FREEKING TIME AGO!! I never understood ellusionists deal with repackaging effects from so long ago like it was a big deal. Mind you, that happens in magic a alot... but not usually with a full page ad in a magic magazine. I digress.

Hover card is indeed what they say. Very impactful. Downside? he handling. (Unless they hand changed it a bit since it first came out.) I had to find an alternate that made me feel better about doing it.. and I did. I even showed it to Harlan back in Austin at a TAOM. This was back when he resembled Joey Lawrence (WHOA!) The only drawback initially (Unless they fixed this too) was the gimmick was brittle and once it broke, there was no real repairing it.

So my suggestion to you is to buy the gimmick, sans instructions and stuff, and just play with it. Most magic doesn't grow or evolve without play. (Neither do most relationships for that matter) Do yourself a favor and jump in feet first.

I promise you, it's deep enuff.

Bizzaro.

So in the first Street Magic Magazine article, there was a big deal made about how magicians should NEVER wear leather ever. Now while I believe there should be a weight limit posted on a lot of clothing made of leather, vinyl, and latex that is neither here nor there.

How magicians dress has become a sorry state of affairs in the past many years. Take for example these guys. If you took away the text, would you know what they were selling or even what they do for a living? Hell no it would look like an ad for some target clothing.

In some vain attempt to make magic look normal and mundane on the street, we have lost something all gay men and metrosexuals already know.. DRESS TO IMPRESS!! Either be the best dressed or most noticeably dressed in the room. You go to a fancy party to do magic or a corporate function and show up in a T-shirt and pants your ass will NEVER be hired again.

Magicians have always been the ones who stand out. Back when all magicians were wearing robes and chinese garb, Houdin put on the evening wear of the time.. a tuxedo. (Which, much to my disdain, seems to have stuck.) Penn and Teller wear matching grey suits. It's not flashy or gaudy but it fits perfectly into what they want to accomplish. By wearing something that subdued, what they do creates more of an impact and does not give anything away. If they came out dressed like freaky sideshow carnies, the impact of their magic would be lessened.

Stage manipulators and dove workers have great attire (Some of them) and it makes them recognizable and usually fits into their theme somehow.

So next time you decide to dress like a homeless man, remember you are an entertainer and should stand out as such. Blending in to the crowd hurts you and your magic. Just say NO to Wal-mart clothes!

Besides, you don't want to look like an Asshat do you?

Bizzaro.

This one goes out to Nena...

Alain Nu found out I am one of those filthy online "magic bloggers" (Mainly cuz' I told him) He replied, "Write something nice about me." Now I know he was mostly kidding. Lucky for him I have nothing bad to say. Lemme weave you a story.

Many many ago back in Austin, TX, TAOM was going on. They had brought in some heavy hitters. One of the nights of shows was Mystery School guys. (Of McBride Fame) Now Alain Nu is known for his mental feats and mindboggling metal bending and flatware mutilation. VEry few have probably ever seen his stage act. An almost surrealist piece that involves mime and a red balloon. Defintely worth seeing.

He has a brilliant effect with a post it note that appeared in the February 2004 issue of MAGIC (Go here and scroll down to Josh Jay performing the effect.) Also if you happen to have seen On the Road with Asher and Wilson you probably saw him do his mock Thumb Tip Routine which is also quite brilliant.

He has been all over TV and media and whatnot... and yet he still is gracious enuff to return my Myspace messages when he can. Nice guy and one day I'll treat him to some ice cream.

I wonder what he'd do for a Klondike Bar?

Bizzaro.

Watch this...



I present to you Exhibit A in my essay on "Shit That Magicians Do That Make Me Wanna Kill".

Ok so first off, some magicians should stick to what they are good at. In Steinmeyer's case, inventing and writing. Much like John Kennedy, he is a good creator of magical stuff... not so much demonstrating it. That aside, lemme point something out - That damn bag.

It has weight to it. If you have ever handled a lunch sack in school or made lunches for yer kids you can tell the difference between empty and not so empty sacks. So my questions is, Why not find someway to make the bag look very lightweight? Sure it's not a glaring obviousness, but it's a subconscious thing that sets off people WTF Meter. (Patent Pending)

This is not the only instance this kinda thing annoys me. Have you EVER seen a version of the Vanishing Bandanna where the Devil's Hank at the end looks empty? Looks more like a large squished banana inside a square of badly stitched fabric. Magic is full of little things like this. I am a big believer in the little details. IF they're there you don't notice, but if they weren't there you would.

So yah, a lightbulb jumps around. Big whoop. The bag changing places with the lightulb.. cool. Bag in lightbulb.. not too bad. Reason for doing it? No fackin' clue. Hey it's the Magic Hostel. The people who go there are usually so inebriated they'll clap for anything. (and I'm not just saying that cuz' they won't hire me. I've been there and seen it with my third eye. Eee Ee Eee Ee)

I like all magic... but I will find flaws in most of it. Even my own.

Especially my own.

Bizzaro.

Watched the Art of Astonishment: Vol 1 DVD earlier. I want to say the teo coolest things I got from that was the Un-shuffling Rebecca routine and the foil/coin trick. (Sneeeeky) Paul Harris' stuff can be very hit or miss and sifting thru his books can be a VERY mind numbing task. I liked the DVD cuz' it grabbed a lot of the weird/visual/magical effects he has had without going overboard. (Tho' the staged people recounting the tricks to themselves thing I thought was time that would have been better spent putting in one or two more effects.. but whatever. Not my DVD. That's over here.)

Now many people know Paul Harris' as the roving, barefoot, hippy, kung-fu the legend continues kinda magician. However, from things I have heard he is making BANK designing theme park stuff. Who knows. I DO know he has made a habit of slapping his name on other people's stuff to help them get their effects out there. I like that idea and don't at the same time.

Ok so quiz time: What phrase do Kevin Parker, Daniel Garcia, Wayne Houchin, and Greg Rostami all have in common? Click Here to find out.

Tell me I'm lying?

Bizzaro.

Let's do a DVD review!!

Andrew Mayne has found himself a nice little niche in the magic world by offering up inexpensive (And sometimes under-developed) magical ideas. His latest bit of merchandise, entitled Maynia, has 5 effects on it. I recently got the chance to see it, so here are my thoughts.

Popfist - First off, do yourself a favor and don't Google that phrase. You WON'T magic. My only problem with this effect is that anyone who isn't a Jehovah's witness will know exactly what you used to make little crappy paper streamers come from your fist. Essentially, he is playing up the point that the loud noise created will get people's attention. Mind you, doing that in a family restaurant might cause trouble... or some old person's ticker to stop. Be careful with this one.

Death Finger - Card stab with your finger. If you can't figure out your own method for this, then study magic a bit more. Not a new idea, but they needed filler I guess.

Finger Saw - This effect is an extension of a trick Lee Asher has on his site (or did have, it's been a while and I am too lazy to go look). So, as usual stepping on the shoulders of giants. IT happens.

Stab'd - With the ridiculous trend of the, "Look at me no stab myself with a pointy thing" effect in magic, this offering is one on the cheap. A bit hokey but can almost be done impromptu. (Which is the one strong point of the effects on this DVD) I can't say too much bad about this... but also not much good about it. It's just what it is.. and looks like.

Drawn From the Light - This is my fave and really the only reason I watched this video in the first place. I like the idea of making a drawing of a light bulb light up on a pad of paper. The way to accomplish it is not bad either. Personally I would get a light that matches the yellow glow of the magic light bulb he uses, but whatever.

So as the saying goes, If you can get one good, usable effect from a (Insert form of media here), then it was worth the money. (A good phrase to remember when you realized how much you paid for some items.) My only problem is, for someone who is supposed to be a film guy, he can't seem to make his video's look very professionally done. Sure, there are some shiny graffics and whatnot, but.. the backgrounds could be a little less... jiggered.

Whatever that means...

Bizzaro.

NO one is safe!!!

Bizzaro.

The way this website lists This DVD's title sounds like something Bob Markwood got arrested for back in the 90's.

That's all.

No wait, that's not all!! So I suppose a few of you know by now, but I was gonna wait till' someone said something... but no one has. (Figures) Ignore the weirdo, maybe he'll go away... naaaaaah. I have been writing a rant column in the new Street Magic Mag that came out last month. Has anyone seen it? I can't find one in TX! It's a lot like this journal without the advice. I dislike most magicians and I'm not afraid to tell the world. Just remember - When you try to live in a higher strata you eventually piss on someone in the lower strata.

We're still here you fuckers.

Watch yer ass.

Bizzaro.

(Been reading too much Transmetropolitan lately I think.)

It's coming...

can you feel it?

Something round and shiny... and dangerous. That's right Helter Shelter: The Movie is in the post production stages and we hope to have it out soon. How soon? No idea honestly. When doing an indie project, you generally do it alone and work on it when you have time and aren't doing shows or making giant evil rabbit costumes.

Anyway, to keep you abreast (heh heh breasts) of what's going down we have a Site to get info from for all you curious types. Go by and see the teaser and stay tuned for more info.

Until next time...

Bizzaro.

Magic Shop Blues

So I'm out in Hollywood, CA right now. Within walking distance of Hollywood magic. Now I am not gonna say people in CA are superficial or stuck up.. but there are the odd fucknut here and there. Case in point....

Hollywood magic. I decided to go in and look around. I asked the first guy I saw what was new and amusing. Looking up from his book he said something to the effect of, "Yah sure over there". He nodded and then went back to his magic tome. So this older gentleman came out from the back and showed me some of the stuff I already knew was out but I like to make magic shops workers jump through hoops.

Before I get to the amusing part of the story I want to say this: I have been to many magic stores in my life and most of them are full of bitter guys who don't wanna show you stuff because yer not well known, their friend, or up to it. This is why the internet is kicking the brick and mortar shops ASS. No one to with a bad attitude to deal with behind the counter. Just point, click, and the only people who bother you are the credit card companies.

So anyway, back to my magical trip.... I decided to be coy and ask the older gentleman, who had the complexion of Bill Murray, if they happened to carry the book that came out on the razor blade trick called Helter Shelter. His reply? "it's out of print." I said "Really? It's fairly new" His response was golden. "Yah it's already out of print."

Being the author I realised A: He's full of shit. B: He didn't want to chance I was going to ask him to special order it. So long story short, Don't go to Hollywood Magic. Instead hit up the shop in Annaheim. There is a much friendlier shop there.

Tomorrow I go to the magic castle and make even less friends in magic. Wheeeeeeee...

Bizzaro.

Am I mad? I'm a bit mad. I really am. It's not the 80's anymore. Any imagination or creativeness established then has flourished and anything from the mid-90's and beyond has been made to SUCK the life out of us. We are not a thinking people anymore and it seems we're happy that way. I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore. What the hell is WRONG with the entertainment business!? We're stuck in a damn time warp I swear.

The only ting that seems to thrive is Rip offs of European Circus (Another thing we have Canada to thank for.) what the hell happened to objective entertainment. Letting something be just because it looked cool. Now we want non-thinking, non-feeling, unoriginal tripe. If I hear one more time that an act can't be booked because it is too unique. It makes me sick to my stomach to think what the future holds. Do we really hold ourselves in such a high regard that reality TV is all we are interested in. Where are the Neverending Stories, the Labyrinths, the seeds of childhood. Oh wait I forgot.. they all got RAPED IN THE ASS BY THE MEDIA AND GOVERNMENT!!

There is a small cadre of people trying to break free the underground and bring crazyness into the light. Criss Fishing Rod is a damn poser... with crappy hair. How can YOU help? By joining in the fight and supporting the alternative arts. Remind yourself there is more to life than LOST and Survivor and crappy talent shows like America's got what we want you to believe is talent. Who won that show? A damn SINGER!! Oh there is a shock! Don't we already have a show for those fuckers!? I'm sick of it. If you're not gonna help us fight this war, be prepared to become a damn casualty because I personally will gut you with a playing card... the five of spades to be exact.

I say to thee... fight the power. We're on the outside looking in and I will not stand by and see the mundane take control.

Not by a long sot.

Bizzaro.

Hey there. Took a bit of a break for a while to do other stuff.. like work. This last weekend the principle footage for Helter Shelter: The Movie was filmed. Now editing a kimbo is to be had.. but that's not why I am here. Nay!

WMS (World Magic Seminar) happened last month (Yes I am a bit behind) and I finally looked up the winners of the contests. I took a gander at http://petebiro.blogspot.com/ and saw in the photos that three girls won the teen cometitions. Way to go chicas!!

Wait.. you mean that one chick is a dood? Musta been the hair. "Weren't you that girl in Hanson?"

Anywho, glad to see more femmes are getting intrested in magic and STAYING in it well into their teens. There may be hope yet. Speaking of magical girlies here is your link for the day http://www.joandukore.com

It's a mind boggling thang.

Bizzaro.

Magic quote of the day.. transleated from German.

"At what are you surprised really still?
As easy it is to lead the human understanding mad."

I'll explain later.

Bizzaro.

Welcome to another "we don't know why it's a holiday" day. Today's post is not about love or anything like that. Just a mere musing as to who the HELL carries around insects to do magic with on a daily basis (Andrew Goldenhersh aside of course)

So yer paying almost 100$ for... a packet of ladybug seeds? I dunno. It seems like a neet idea but fairly impractical. Not one of those "Hey do that blood bug trick for my friend" and you're always ready to go. Impromptu? Hardly. Amusing? Probably.

Tho' the alternate blood to heart thing strikes me as amusing...

and is as close to Valentines day this post is gonna get.

Bizzaro.

PS: It seems my paradeI submitted to the Linking Ring got published. Read it. It contains magical yummyness.

Maaaaaaaamrieeees.....

The pinnacle of comedy club magic in the 80's was The Amazing Johnathan and THIS guy. Paul Kozak. I'm fairly sure I was at this show but regardless, Kozak was one of the only magicians who made a salt pour, THIS, and manipulation kool in a comedy club. (That I ever saw at least). All that and he's one of the only peoeple I have ever seen who uses multiplying pipes and does them well. So aside from his bulk of flash string and use of swing music, he was a funny guy. (Who also did a kid's show in the daytime.. I dunno.)

So today in Magician Hell we salute Kozak. May he forever continue to kick ass. (Even if his salt pour was a bit pricey.)

Bizzaro.

I love you all like you were my own kin...

Well not really, but regardless, as one of the few remaining magic journals left from the big boom back in 03' . It has been over 4 years since I started this little project. I have NO idea who reads it and I don't want to know. However, I am not an un-appreciative A-hole. So for my glorious readers I have a gift for you. We recently found a box in storage of shirts we did not sell back lo' those many years ago. No point in keeping them laying around (Except to use as crappy X-mas gifts) thus I am offering you a Special Limited Edition Bizzaro show shirt for damn near nothing. A 20$ value!!


That's the back design right there. How can you resist!? That's right YOU CAN'T!! How can you aquire one of these finely crafted pieces of Bizzaro history? Simple. Donate $3.00 for S&H and it's yours!! You can't beat that! Pee Wee Herman couldn't beat that!! (And that's saying something.)

So click that button now and we'll even throw in a free signed color 8x10!!

All of this for reading the ramblings of a madman. Good for you.

Give em' an inch...

I have said many times that if you feed someone a little truth they will accept a LOT of BS. If you tell them something they can hold on to or put in their pocket to believe, you can sell them damn near anything.

Example: On occasion I will tell people that we cannot make things vanish as matter cannot be created nor destroyed. Thusly we make it teleport from our hand to another location they cannot see... like our pockets. Perhaps from one hand to the other. (Demonstrating thusly)

That is something they can believe in cuz' it sounds technical enough and it uses concepts they have seen on TV and read about in fantasy and sci-fi mediums.

Give anyone enough rope and they will hang themselves or their ideals with it.

Bizzaro.

You tell me why....

Never give up, never surrender...

One of THE hardest things to do in life is fail.. or do what we perceieve as failure. As children we are educated that you MUST succeed and not reaching a certain goal is bad. Games, homework, sports, video games. Everything is against us to constantly attack our sefl esteem. Along with commercials and ads preying upon our in-bred insecurities. Face it, we're screwed from the get go. (I won't even go into the deep seated issues our parental units inflict upon us from THEIR failed lives)

In magic tho' we are in the job to make the impossible a reachable goal. In that pursuit, we often do not succeed right off. Some people are SO afraid of failure that they will not try or try to fix what is the start of a good idea. Failure is just a word and it only has the power in which you put into it. Let's say that instead, that failure does not mean "Lack of succeeding" but rather "The wrong way to achieve what you want". Still sounds bad sure, but it does not mean you did not accomplish your goal, but rather found a way NOT to do it.

If you find yourself wanting to do a trick a certain way and it will not work, do NOT give up. There is ALWAYS another way. Nothing is impossible. (Except for the things that are.) As I have said before, the only people who do not succeed are the ones who give up. It's hard to be determined, but it's harder to regret something you never did. No matter how hard it gets, no matter how bleak it seems, if you're going thru hell, keep going.

Anything is possible.

Hey kids. Welcome to the first post of 2007!!

We here at Fire Cat Studios have been busy with shows all of Dec. and now many projects will be finished up this month. (Including the long awaited Helter Shelter: The Movie, filmed at the 13th Street Morgue.)

So aside from some website updates and a little writing project that I am going to leave a surprise for you later on in the month, I have been thinking about magic. (Shocker I know.) Now despite being a stage magician at heart, I do like to devise clever stuff for ALL magical situations. Sometimes it's just a handling that fits me better. Allow me to elaborate...

Someone once told me that linking rings should be thus.. "Two rings.. they link.. they unlink.. next!" To some degree that is true. After the first time, it's just the same base thing over.. and over.. and over.. and .. well you get the idea. Same with ambitious card. We don't need 10 phase routines. Three times with a REALLY strong fourth is best. Otherwise it's flogging a dead horse. This all goes back to a post I made a long while ago that just because a prop can do a lot of things, doesn't mean you SHOULD perform them all.

I saw another three coins across trick on the market recently. Chris Kenner started Three Fly and it has been variation upon variation ever since. Jay Sankey and Greg Wilson have their un-gimmicked sleight of hand versions. Shoot Ogawa has his sneaky ass asian version using muscle passes. Everyone has their fave.. everyone except me.

In an experiment, I started doing a bit where I only make ONE coin jump from one hand to the other. I do it twice tho'. I don't make a big thing of showing my hands empty, it's very straight forward and quick. Coin in right hand, closed fists. Coin in left hand, right hand empty. I do it twice because it is actually more amazing the SECOND time. Magic is odd like that. Some are best once, others twice, and some adhere strictly to the rule of three.

It's true what they say... less is more.

Bizzaro.

Ok so.. let's talk about something I am PRETTY sure has been touch on here before... but hey beating dead things is a good way to spend a day right?

Levitation. In some magician's eyes, the ULTIMATE magic trick. Levitating things with wire and string and bits of metal and... and... gawd the list goes on. There have been many many, too many versions of the balducci since the Asshat made it uber-popular. The elevator, zero gravity boots, king rising, icarus effect (And it's various versions), and now the FLY lev. (I left out some I know.)

What is the obsession with the holy grail of Asshattery... the "Street levitation"? In my experience of dealing with drunks, kids, and the like if you levitate yourself, they assume you can levitate ANYTHING. "Wow that was cool, here make my car float" "Hey that was neet what else can you do that to.. here try my cell phone".

If they don't do that, it comes down to "Do it again, do it again!" so they can look under your feet. Personally I don't think it is worth it. I say float a small object and if they ask if you can float yourself like on TV say.. "yes". No need to prove it.

Chances are they aren't gonna give you any money anyway.

Bizzaro.

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic"

So a fairly new effect on the market has gotten people all a-buzz. It's called WOW. (Which when spelled backwards is also wow but upside down it's mom.) Now I dunno about you guys, but when I first saw it I immediately thought of an old trick called "The Hidden Sun" (Bottom Right). For those who remember it, you know what I am talking about.

What amazes me is that I saw that effect and IMMEDIATELY went, "Well duh". As usual with magic, just cuz' you can figure it out doesn't make it any less cool. It looks good and that's all that matters right?

This alllll goes back to usual rant about how today's magicians should study the world around them and be knowledgeable of their magical past to a degree. This is not the first time this technology has been used for a trick (or even a science experiment.)

Ah but the Japanese exploit technology and make it their bitch so in turn they can make US their bitch as well. Same old song and dance aye?

Personally I thought Contra Vision had something to do with a video game.

Bizzaro.

All right let's talk about the shiny new distraction in magic right now. It's called Stuck!. Now at 10$ for a fairly visual coin vanish, that's not too bad in this day and age. (Yay instant gratification society)

I actually ponied up the cash for this... which is rare for me. When I decide to spend my pay pal funds I better not be disappointed. I wasn't really. The hype is true tho' it is impromptu (By that I mean nothing added or taken away.) There is something the demo doesn't show you, BUT it's not THAT big a deal. (As opposed to OTHER demo's) Don't let me scare you off with that statement. There is something you have to do to make the trick work, and as much as I wanna make a joke at it's expense I can't without tipping the method... and if I had to pay for it by gawd so do YOU.

I do think the handling and presentation is a bit "Magicky" (Is that a word?) but the best thing about coin magic, (And most difficult to convey to people), is that it is very personality based... so sez Jay Sankey. He's right tho'. The moves, patter, body language, and everything else that goes into a GOOD coin vanish SHOULD vary from performer to performer. The guy who sells Stuck!, his handling and presentation won't work for me anymore than it should work for you.

So be a good consumer, support the arts, get a new trick, fit it to yer style, love it, learn it, use it as yer own.

You'll be glad you did.

Bizzaro.

The 5 stages of a bad show...

Anger
Dispair
Depression
Acceptance
Determination

At least it is for me.

Bizzaro.

Is it live?

Or is it Memorex? Is it magic? Is it art? Is it both? Ask a magician he might say it's a zombie ball routine. Ask someone else it might be a dance. It's an act like this that can be a blessing in disguise because you can be booked as many different things. The best part is it doesn't take much to perform... except the years and YEARS of practice and study of movement, magic, and make-up/costuming. (Among other things) Surpassing the norm and creating something that transcends the stigma of "magician" or "Juggler" is the goal of any performance artist.

My good friend Jeb Sherrill and his wife performed on a french TV show with this guy, (Doing their magic art act) and said it is incredible to see live.

Do you think he would do well over here? (Said with a pinch of Sarcasm)

Bizzaro.

Ok ok so contest time!! I know I know the other contests I have had were kinda lackluster.. but this one will be fun and easy (Like my ex).

At the beginning of 2007 we will be finishing filming of Helter Shelter: The Movie and if you, yes YOU, would like a free copy all you have to do is.... find me the worst magicians website EVAR!!!

I of course will be the judge. There is a LOT to sift thru and my criteria is fairly open. It could be a horrid layout, terrible media, lame concept, or all around fitting 10 pounds of suck in a 5 pound bag.

I will not however accept crappy text only websites as poor cuz' while they are bad, they are bad with no content. You have until X-mas.

------

With that in mind I wanna talk about magic wesbites for a second. Some might say that there are two types of websites. Ego pages and business pages. Ego pages are personal pages made to stroke one's ego and put up things. This also includes pages for your pets or friends, etc. Business pages.. well.. duh. I think magic websites are a bit of both. There is a point where the lines blur and then, sadly, cross. You want the page to be personally ego stroking without being too terribly ass kissing. You also have to appeal to the bidness side of things and look moderately professional... even if yer not. The biggest illusion in magic, is to make yourself look important, or even more decpetive, cool.

Magic websites will NOT generally get you booked. You have to work on agents and whatnot to do that. A magic website serves primarily as an online promo packet as well as another way to be seen by the populace at large. (My site is designed the way it is for mainly these reasons) I know MANY pros whose site is notthat great, but it gets the point across without looking amateur-ish. If you can't do it, learn. If you can't learn it, bribe someone who can do it.

So on with your misson. Find me a crappy site, and DON'T make one of your own!

Bizzaro.

Someone asked me about magic on TV back in the 90's. I decided to go a bit farther back with the history of magic on TV... more or less.

The 60's had Mark Wilson and Doug Henning... Stage magic.
The 70's Doug Henning and David Copperfield... Stage magic
80's? David Copperfield.... yup.. you guessed it.. stage magic.
Most of the 90's... World's Greatest Magic, Lance Burton, Rudy Coby, etc... Mostly stage magic.

1998 - The rise of the Asshat. Yup "Street" magic got it's firm nasty little grip on the world and the youth of magic was forever changed.
2000's: Criss Angel sez', "I want some of that Street Magic Money". Good stage performer from what I have heard and seen. Gets on Tv and gets all "Street cred" and goes right to hell.

Here is my pondering for tonight. When does the effect supersede your ethics? Copperfield was well known for using stooges to get the desired effect or joke to happen every time (Still is). Did effects you could ONLY do on TV really or involved clever camera angles. No real editing or special FX just creative use of the technology. He did ride a fine line but kept mostly on the side of ethics.

You'll notice no TV magic shows anymore say, "Everything you see here is live and is exactly what you would be seeing if you were here". If they did it would be a big fooking lie. The Asshat did stuff you could ONLY do with camera editing and specially built store fronts. Criss Angel did one better and got actors and jerky ass editing to do his bidding.

The worst part is with the loss of a major stage magic influence, today's kids are missing that flair for the dramatic and the rhythm that comes with being a stage performer. They only influence they see is the best thing magic can be is a close up guy in T-shirt and jeans saying "Waaaaatch".

Now I am being a bit pessimistic I know, but hey stick with what yer good at. Someone told me stuff goes in cycles. Well I say after almost 40 years of stage magic as an influence, this whole damn close up street harassment better not last that long. There will always BE stage performers, but with little mass influence on the public, it's subtle nuances may very well fall by the wayside and become merely pages in a book or pictures on a screen.

I'm just a tad worried thaz all.

Bizzaro.
(Who sez yah have to be cheery on a holiday?)

What exactly is magician hell you ask? Well today it's This Guy.

Bizzaro.

"For the summer that's once lost now is gone..."

So I'm here listening to this tune and there is a line that made me think about our activity in magic. It goes as thus...

"For your world won't change while you sleep" - Flogging Molly

It's true too. If you take a passive casual observer stance to not only magic but life as well nothing will change. Your magic, your achievements, anything really. You can sit at home and practice your faro or double lift. Watch video after video, read book after book on magic and technique.. but if you don't go out in the world and practice your art it's just gonna stagnate.

If you take an aggressive mindset to change your life, magic, or people's viewpoint no matter what it's for then you are at least changing something even if it's just ONE person's mind. I have encountered a few people who don't like magic for one reason or another. Sometimes cuz' they have seen a poor performer or.. ten. If you make an effort to get out there and show these people a better world then.. your their world.. and your might just change a bit.. and for the better.

Life... and magic... is not a spectator sport.

Bizzaro.

Ok so I was perusing my fiends list on LJ (Yes I am a dork) and someone actually made a somewhat poignant post (for magic anyway). Below is my response for your viewing pleasure.

"So yer asking if magic is there a way to make magic memorable and not just some cheap party trick? Indeed and it doesn't have to be emotional or even an in depth story. I've been doing magic for.. umm.. too long to count on all my extremities (You figure it out) and can tell you a few of the ways I know of to keep magic with someone forever.

1. Do something impossible. Truly impossible. Levitation is not actually in the category cuz' they can dismiss it with any number of answers.

2. Vanish something and never bring it back.. ever... but this only works if incorporated with the #1 or...

3. Use something that makes it personal for them... something that gives them an anchor if you will.

Now I shall explain. First I will address #2 and 3 together. Vanishing THEIR lit cigarette. Not yours.. but theirs. You take something they connect with personally but not enuff to be mad if it goes away. It's disposable attachment. Vanish it and NEVER bring it back.

An example of Number 1 is Michael Close's moving pothole effect. To move a hole around at will IS impossible. With the incorporation of their house and street in the mix they will never forget the trick and keep that card (And who you are) forever.

Let's see #1 and 2 together now. Swallowing a four foot balloon and never bringing it back out makes you unforgettable. Why? Allow me to explain. People need closure in their lives. If something goes away it MUST come back.. this is why we have a problem with death cuz' it won't be back but we try like mad to make the memory remain. Thus if you never bring something back that has an impact that gets stuck in their minds and they will never forget who you are.

Also the best way to make magic memorable is to be memorable yourself. Anyone can do cheap tricks... but it takes real skill to give them a reason to care and remember. Be a face and you will have a name."

I'm especially proud of that last line there.

Bizzaro.

It's not over till' the horizontally challenged woman croons... the sideshow tur might be fini, but the onslaught of photos is'nt. Keep checking back every so weeks for more photos and amusing tales. Texas always looks better everytime I go to the east coast. So here I am back near the internet and as usual the parade of magical craziness must swagger itself in front of me. Someone watch This video and tell me what he is selling. Seriosuly. It sez gimmicks but I am leery of a guy trying to use a demo reel as a selling point. At least he's happy.

"How can you be more than happy? To me, this sounds like a dangerous mental condition. We have to put Dave in mental home. He was -- more than happy." - George Carlin

Bizzaro.

Well it's been an odd couple of months here on tour. Thought I would take some time to regail you kids with some of my thoughts. Anyone seen the new Jet Li movie Fearless? Personally I have to be in the mood for Kung Fu movies. I wasn't the day we saw it. Twasn't bad tho'. There is a bit in the flick that I decided to equate to magic.. and thus it follows.

In the movie there is a fighting arena and Jet Li sez something to the effect of "When you are down there (On the ground) you are merely watching, but up here... it is life or death." That's very true of magic as well. When we watch it is no consequence, but when we are up on that stage we either live by the art or die by it. The term dying on stage holds water. If you stink on ice then you will kill your career, your audience, and your magic. You have to be the best you can be to live and flourish.

Hence another problem with street magic. You are on their level and therefore the threat level of failure is lessened. You want to impress me... try doing stage magic and becoming an engaging performer. Only then will I be impressed...

and want to kill you on the field of battle.

Bizzaro.

In other news: Can't Please Everybody.

I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore...

I wasn't PLANNING on making another post so soon. However it has been commented in this journal that I do not care for LIES in magic demos. We might all remember the Glass Mirage incident hmmmmmm?

Well it seems Mr. Coin in Can (Great idea) and Stigmata (Not too bad) creator Wayne Houchin.. the Bruce Cambell of magic.. I mean seriously.. he has a huge chin. He needs chinderwear... *ahem*

So his newest descent.. is something going around called Indecent and boy howdy is it. If you watch the demo, and you know ANYTHING about lighting, plastics, video editing, or ziplocks, you might just notice something odd. I will not expose anything outright but I will say this....

"Wayne Houchin you are a Bastard!" Thaz right... you heard me. You used video editing to show a trick do something it cannot do. (To a point) I think you have been hanging out with Criss Fishing Rod too much because his poor editing is rubbing off on you. I think people should be warned about things like this in hopes it will cease and desist. We get lied to on a daily basis.. folks don't need any help.. especially if it's for the sake of a few bucks.

I am very opposed to magic demos that use editing to make a trick "see what the audience sees." Bite that!! Be honest. In a place full of liars the honest man stands out.. (Ok and gets ridiculed sometimes. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.) I just think it's shite. Seriously... and if Mr. Houchin sees this and wants to A: Talk it over.. cool. B: Prove me wrong.. fine. or 3: Be a dick to me in a nasty email be warned.. I will post it here. (For like.. all 5 of my readers to see. Yah..I'm a threat.)

The problem with doing the right thing.. is that sometimes.. you do it by yourself.

Bizzaro.

Ok first off... ever seen those ads that say "YOU COULD BE NAKED!"? Well This chick took it to the extreme.

WARNING!! If you are offended by nudity do NOT watch this. If you are offended by nudity and watch it anyway, don't hold me responsible. Blame the Canadians cuz' it appears to have been done in Montreal. Glen.. I'm looking at you. (Yes I did watch the whole thing.. I just wanted to see where it was obviously going.)

Ok so now that I have tainted your spank bank, let's talk about something. I choose you jigaboo... no wait.. wrong show. Ever see someone show their hands empty... A LOT... before doing something? Like the "Lookit my eeeeeempty hands" move before card manip takes place? Maybe the "Look at the this perfectly ordinary empty box that is ordinarily empty and totally empty" speech? We in the magic field call dat, Don't run if yer not being chaste.. er.. chased.

I call it "people are dumb but give them some freekin' credit". It just don't roll off the tongue as nicely as the other one. People have eyes. Sometimes they work. If they are going to give you the common courtesy of their attention don't insult their intelligence by showing them an empty box or cup and then telling them it's empty. See I believe people have gotten smarter to a degree when it comes to magic. It is far more a part of American Culture than it ever used to be. People get exposed to it almost daily in some places. We forget that they no longer fear us as gods. We can't trade them shiny beaded necklaces for their gold anymore.

People can see something is empty. They can see something isn't empty. We need to stop trying to take them by the hand and instead let them follow us. They can walk on their own. Take advantage of that. Use what they see and know against them... don't give them suspicions or reason to doubt you. (This also goes under the category of use normal items not magic props so it's less suspicious in some people's minds.)

It's a thinking seeing world out there. They comprehend what they see and believe what we tell them... I mean we are the politicians of the entertainment world. We lie to them, they believe it and they love us for it. Just like the real gubment... only tell them what they need to know to be happy.

It's a bright sun shining day.. if we tell them it is.

Bizzaro.

By the way: It's that time again. I will be going on tour with the sideshow troupe this Fall. Activity here will slow down since internet will be very sparse. You can keep up to date on the tour at the Sideshow Journal. Thanx and be careful out there.

Almost forgot: The 2006 Bizzaro Promo video is now online. You can see it here for now. Remember kids, in this business it's all about whoring yourself to the highest bidder...

And then some.

Bizzaro.

Ever seen that T-shirt, "Fuck you I'm from Texas!"? If not, it's ok. It's pretty accurate to within a 16th of a centimeter. Anywho...

Over on someone else's new blog (Forgive him, he's Canadian. We love him still.) there was an interesting conversation involving him and one of magic's more well known names as of recent years.

I know for a fact some people have a problem with their material being slagged upon by others online. (I admit I have gotten that way once or twice, but soon dropped it.) I am not akin to gossip on this journal, but the exchange over on Glen's journal with Daniel Garcia bring up a good point.. and far be it from me to not exploit someone else's misery to make a point.

The new effect TRICYCLE, (aside from having a silly ass name), is an effect where the name of a persons card appears printed on the card box. You can look it up on Ellusionist yourself if you really care. Glen sez: People will notice the printing and when the box dies, you gotta shell out 20$ more. Daniel Garcia sez: FUCK YOU... more or less.

Now here is the deal. People don't pay attention, thus no one will notice the card box is different from any other card box they have ever seen. However, it's not entirely magical to just go "Look here!" Some people might just surmise that you made them pick that card. Most won't. If you showed the Bicycle logo normal then rubbed it and it changed THAT would be more magic. The gripe about paying another 20$ for a specially printed card box is legitimate. In this case you are paying more for the gimmick than the secret since the secret is part of the trick description. Personally I would just print out yer own sticker label and put it on the card box. No one will inspect it that close. I promise.

Ok so Garcia handled the situation a little poorly true. If you release material into today's magic community, you have to expect flack. It's just the way it is. It's no reason to go off on someone just because you feel that everything you release is golden. I'm not saying he thinks that. I've known him for years (Not well but he at least will talk to me.) and he's generally pretty nice. So if that is indeed him (And the magic HATE ball says that the chances are good) then he needs to chill out a bit. He's not the first person to have their magic printed box trick bad mouthed openly. (I'm looking at you David Oliver.)

So the point here is.... (Drumroll) People don't pay attention. The trick will work. Will it be the next 3 fly or card warp? Not bloody likely. It's just another tool being sold to a bunch of other tools. We need to stop thinking like magicians so much and also get over ourselves sometimes.

I'd like to buy the world a coke...

Bizzaro.

My girlfriend (yes, I date. Stop snickering.) once told me I was perfect. I told her, "No such thing."

Now from here I could wind this entry down the dark and tedious path of the magician Too Perfect theory... but I like the 5 people who read this thing so I won't. Instead I will talk about something that will keep me from working most magic conventions.

Hello. My name is Bizzaro and I don't have a competition act.

It's true. I don't believe in that perfect 8 minute act. Never will. I have a three and a half minute act where I produce, multiply, and manipulate eyeballs. Thaz as close as I'm gonna get. Why you ask? Lemme tell yahz...

Many magicians work a good chunk of their life working towards a "competition act" then the rest of their show is fairly trite. Store bought illusions, props, patter, etc. They work so hard on this one act they figure the rest can be common fare I dunno. Personally, I believe the magic world would be a better place if magicians would work on their ENTIRE show. My show is geared so that EVERY aspect of my show is fairly unique if not in prop then presentation. I want people to leave my show saying, "I liked ALL of it."

Now I have said in the past that this journal is not about ME, but my thoughts. In cases like this (Or when I am being a shameless whore) I have to use myself as the example. It just kills me to see a unique magic act followed by.. a duck bucket.

So since I work towards entertaining real people and not just magicians and myself I will probably never win a magic competition. Thaz fine with me too. I have heard from many of my non-magical fiends of competition acts they have seen at various venues and just didn't get into.. nor did the rest of the audience. So as a warning and plea work on your WHOLE show...

and for the love of whatever deity you subscribe to.. try to have a personality that goes with your duck bucket.

Bizzaro.

Consistency: Noun - Agreement or harmony of parts or features to one another or a whole.. According to m-w.com anyway. This is a major problem I feel of most magic acts... especially competition acts. Your overall theme gets lost and muddled if you just throw in magic for magic's sake or to eat up time. Want an example? Check out this dood.

Midway thru he abandons his focus prop and starts messing with silks (We know how I feel about That) and other things that do not fit in with his act. A rubber ball? Well maybe. This is a good example of an act for magicians.

I used to have a lot of excessive props and magic in my eyeball act just to make it longer. I realized that by adding canes, silks, and other stuff I lost the focus of the act. If you are producing canes.. keep it up. Make it make sense. If you live in a bubble, you too can make your act unique and sensible. Of course, everything you see on TV and online seems to say otherwise hunh? Who yah gonna believe?

Don't answer that.

Bizzaro.

While I am waiting for this footage to render, let's talk about light magic shall we? Specifically little hand help contraptions to create and manipulate what appears to be balls of illumination. I of course refer to D'lite and Finger Fazers. I remember when D'lite hit the market, Oh.. my..god. They were the hottest thing going. I got mine and said "Ah". It was clever (Which is more than I can say for some of the stuff on the original teaching video) and soon everyone was doing it... unfortunately.

When I say everyone I mean EVERYONE. Even non-magicians because they were selling these things (As well as knock-offs) in malls and every tourist trap magic store. They became so common they appeared on an episode of Taxi Cab Confessions and from what I heard they exposed it on the show. After hearing about that from too many people, I put them away. (Well that and the originals had problems with the contacts breaking after a few months of hard core use.)

Jay Scott Berry (Who looks better with short hair if you ask me) decided to go his own route with Finger Fazers. They were brighter and allowed for much more visual stuff, such as dropping the light from one hand to the other or swirling multiple lights around in a goblet. Downside? Couldn't show your hands clean at all times.

Now there was a time when kids didn't get drugged up, wear candy, and suck on pacifiers. (The 80's) Throughout the 90's, Raves became a big deal and nothing makes a candy kid go "oooooh" more than pretty light. (Except maybe a massage) Thus these kids with more LSD than sense collected every light up toy and tool they could find and wave it around at each other. Now hold on I am getting to a point here.

Working the nightclub scene I got to see much of this and hear about much of it. The problem with light effects like D'lite and ESPECIALLY Finger Fazer (For those who know what it is) anyone in that crowd day or night were not impressed cuz' they either KNEW what it was or assumed what it was. Thus their effectiveness had worn off in certain circles. The adult TV crowd and the young hip rollin' crowd.

(Deep movie announcer voice) Now it is 2006... and those things are long forgotten. *koff* That TV show no longer is running, the raver kids grew up, wised up.. or got tossed in jail and are just NOW getting out. Regardless, the time is nigh once again to use these effects. D'lite has gone crazy again making bright colors, ones that change color, and even a nifty little bouncing floating light thing. (Let's face it compared to D'ring, ANYTHING is good. Personally I miss D'rose. I had one. It was fun.) They are made better, they break less, and possibly have more battery life. Finger Fazers haven't changed much that I know of. They have no reason to.. they worked. (From a distance anyway)

Light magic is a great way to get people's attention for strolling, and they look pretty onstage. No go forth and be fruitful, (Not fruity. I know some of you can't help it tho') Plunk down 30 bucks at yer local brick and mortar and go brighten somebody's day...

Make them.. *Snerk*.. see the light.

Bizzaro.

Let's talk about silks baby. Let's talk about you and me.

Discussing the use of silks and whatnot the other day with the person who is fourth down on my links list. Someone once told me that silks and the like are only a magicians prop now and they don't make sense. This made sense to me. As a society we no longer cart around hankies and silk scarves on a daily basis. Once again, equipment leftover from a forgotten time. How can we as an entertainment art move forward if we keep living in the past?

I can understand the use of silks or cloth for certain things, don't get me wrong. (Mind you, without silk magic Duane Laughlin would be out of a job.) Silks were very popular with Chinese magicians cuz' the Chinese actually made things from silk. Magicians use them cuz' they compress right nice and often sport colors not found in nature. Fuscia.. I mean really?

Ok so let's talk about a very popular item in magic. It makes NO sense, is easy to make yet expensive, and a bitch to reset. The Silk Fountain. Yes that little eruption of colors that never seems to end. The BEST use of one I have seen is by a girl named Yumi from Japan. Her act is floral themed (Card manipulation petals, etc) and her silk fountain fades from white o pink and becomes what effectively looks like a big ass flower bouquet. (in comic book guy voice) Best... silk fountain.. evar!

So, silks... useless cloth or dated magic prop? You decide.

Bizzaro.

So a local Magi has a cookout/pool party every year at his casa for any entertainers in the area... visiting or indigenous. (If you get the chance to see inebriated magicians perform DO IT!!)

Anywho, we were graced with the presence of Steve Bedwell and his lovely wife Krys. Nice people and VERY tolerant of our antics. For those who don't know who he is, shame on you. He put out a video many years ago (VHS if that tells you anything) that was called No M.D. Required. It has many great bits of business and some killer effects like "Re-Boxed". (worth the price of the tape alone)

He also released a few other effects and booklets such as "In over your head" (rope magic+paper balls over the head=hilarity) and "Thick Shtick" (Advice on thick cards and their praises.)

So in the spirit of pimping cool people, go to his website.

Also in a week's time Misty Lee dot com will have a face lift. Go Check it out then.

And what the hell... go to my site and buy some shit.

Bizzaro.

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, yer cool, fuck you, I'm out!

Ok so we all know that magic websites whose ego is bigger than their resolve have a habit for banning people. Makes em' feel all high and mighty and feels like a warm hug from their mother.. not that they know what that feels like but regardless. A friend of mine all the way from Canadia was recently banned from Ellusionist. (You know the people responsible for the black tiger deck, a metric assload of card magic DVD's, and encouraging 14 year olds to spend their money on "Street magic" before they discover girls and spend all their money on that instead.)

Regardless, he was banned for something as simple as This... oh and this. Some people have no sense of humor. ACHTUNG!!!

In other news I recently found out that The Magic Soop Kitchen (Speaking of people who ban people for silly ass reasons) deleted a whole post about the Gay Games in Chicago. No reason has been given but my friend has a theory... and I quote, "I don't want them to think I like sucking dick.. I mean I do but I don't want them to think that. We better delete this post."

God forbid someone try to enlighten you goobers with something outside your comfort zone.

< /Rant >

Bizzaro.

Let's talk about that photo shall we? This is something I believe strongly in and I am riding a fine line. (You know that line. The same one that Jarred guy from Subway rides every time he walks past a bakery.)

I had a few people ask me, "wouldn't it make more sense to be in front of a different background?" Kind of. Lemme esplain'... no not enuff time. Lemme sum up. (This sad moment brought to you by Mandy Patinkin.)

If I was to place a different background into that photo it would become a magic photo. I prefer it to be a funny picture. One of those things you look at and go hunh? Why not you ask? Simple. I don't do a trick where water shoots out of my hat.

And that right there kids is the point. I am strongly opposed to photos that represent you doing something you cannot and do not do in your shows. None of my promo photos are photoshopped to represent something I don't do. I see a photo of a magician holding in their hands their assistant's head and the body is sitting in a chair I know something is up. (I don't care if you do that Andre Cole Head Mover Illusion or not.)

This is just a rule I live by personally and hate to see others do. It looks hokey. Much like good digital effects in movies, image manipulation shouldn't be noticeable. (Believe it or not there was very little PS'ing with the above photo. Just some color correction and I moved the shower curtain over a bit. You should see what it originally looked like.) To paraphrase something Brian Brushwood once told me, "I have plenty of good magic. I wanted good theater." (In reference to his stigmata presentation.)

Me? I have plenty of magic photos. I just wanted a funny one.

Bizzaro.

How I feel about some of the amateurs I have met or talked to...


I'm not really a jerk... I just don't like you.

Bizzaro.

The sincerest form of flattery...

Watch this...


First I want to say that in a magic routine, it's the details that make all the difference. Watch his act. There are a few VERY subtle things he does that I personally have not seen anyone else do really. There is even a steal he does that blew right past me and watching it again makes me wonder... if someone is going to go thru the trouble to rip you off, why not study the little nuances that make their stuff work.

Even good counterfeiters and forgers study every little tiny detail. Why should magic be different. (Well aside from the legality of it all). First I don't recommend ripping off ANYONE's stuff. If yer gonna emulate someone's ideas tho', learn what makes then great.. and what makes you.. not.

Classics are that way for a reason kids...

Bizzaro.

Criss Fishing Rod!!

Wow two posts in one day? I must be bored..

Ok so this is too funny to not put here. Ever taken say, song lyrics, translated them to korean and then BACK to english.. it sounds like crappy goth poetry (Redundant). However this is what google did to a translation of the write up for my book Helter Shelter. And I quote...

"Just in time for Halloween (2006), Bizzaro. To The Optical illusionist and Fire Cat of Studios bring you the roofridge resource book on the subject for one OF the most unusual classics OF magic around. The Razor Blade illusion Mystery. Performed by some OF the top names in magic look for as the Amazing Johnathan, Vito Lupo, and Criss fishing rod this is the roofridge time anyone has peered deep into the subject ton bring you to information on the various methods used tons accomplish this wonderful effect. Included inside acres discussions on the best places ton buy razor blades, what child OF fake blood ton procure, and the right child OF props ton use. Weighing in RK 36 pages, photo illustration, and A dozen different applications and methods for performing the Razor Blade illusion, this is A must have for anyone looking tons of ADDs something unique tons your act."

So from now on Criss Angel shall henceforth be known in this blog as Criss Fishing Rod. (If you think mine is funny the one for Zombie Re-Animated is just as good. Here is the page it's from and Here is the english version.

Ok folks as you were...

Bizzaro.

I miss the 80's....

No really. Back when everyone was so coked up you could get away with most variety entertainment acts no problem. Hell why do you think Carrot Top made it so far? (ok he's actually kinda funny but still) This is what talent in America has come to folks. Some of the stuff on the other videos are impressive but geezus. It's like that 30 seconds to fame debacle all over again. (Yes I was on that show... no I'm not proud of it either.)

Also can I ask you what the hell is up with some people's choice in music nowadays? Mind you in shows like that they make you use their music usually for copyright reasons (Blame ASCAP and BMI.. fuckers.) However most magic demos and show off vids are a lot of Limp Trisquit and equally annoying bands. I like a myriad of music but come on.. whatever happened to upbeat music? Does anyone even remember the 80's who is into magic nowadays? Most of the music was about partying, hookers, drugs, and having fun. How did we go from the Beatles singing, "I wanna hold your hand" to Trent Reznor wanting to "Fuck you like an animal". I fear for our future sometimes.

Could be worse. Could be burning us at the stake again...

Bizzaro.

Ok so while we had some really good entries for the "What do two people have in common who had nothing in common" contest, the answer I was personally looking for did not get reached. (The answer for those who care is: They are both DEAD and still making money and having stuff released while they are 6 ft under!!). So to make up for this I have a back-up contest.

Out in Ohio I think someone has erected a supersized savior.

I want you to take this image and whatever photo manipulation program you have
and turn it into something funny.. like this..

It doesn't have to be magic related but it might garner bonus points if it is. Next week sometime whoever makes me laugh the most gets.. something.

So get to it!!

Bizzaro.

Odd stuff my friends say...

"I feel like I spend all my time hooking wires up to a computer and ya never know if the cords good or not"

What is she talking about? Well in her case it's about voice acting and making connections and whatnot. In this business it's tough too. Nowadays it's not what you can do, it's who you know. It's always been like that but now more than ever since the entertainment business is so easily accessible. Not just buying props but making websites, video, graphics, propaganda... all of it. There was a time when a slick promo kit meant something. Now with desktop publishing going on the cheap, anyone can make something look nice.

It's the price of progress. Scanners and printers and computers are affordable. Good Video and graphics software are still high end but thanx to the invention of file sharing anyone can get a hold of this stuff. Thanx to the internet people have instant access to learning tools and guides to use said programs. DVD and CD burners make it easy to make your own media quickly. We are truly an instant gratification society. (In more ways than one.)

Charlotte Pendragon once told me that most booking agents don't need or want a slick package anymore. Just a n 8x10, video, and maybe a resume and testimonials. Sometimes the problem with being too slick is you look suspect... and like everyone else. It's the world we live in and since we compete not only for attention span but we are up against special effects not dreamed of 50-100 years ago we have to be unique and relentless to be seen or heard.

Making a computer work is far easier if you ask me.

Bizzaro.

PS: I am gonna end the Dai/pac debate this wed. So get yer answers in now. If no winners I have a back up contest you can do.

Ok so we got a few more replies to the controversy. All of them true AND funny however not yet what I am seeking. If no one gets it.. I'll do something. Here is what I have so far.

"Both smoked copious amounts of weed." - Can't verify that one.. with Vernon anyway. However he was Canadian so...

"-Both of their last names have 6 letters?
-both of them have their pictures posted in Bizzaros blog?
-Both of them are dead?"

"Both of them were gemini's" - Now THAT is doing yer homework.

"They are both dead... They have that in common" and another vote for dead and buried.

I'm so very proud of you guys by the way. Not just for replying, but for admitting you read my journal. But seriously folks.. You read this for one reason. To hear what I think about magic because it sure ain't for my charming personality or good looks. So let's talk about something.

The Black Widow. The brand new toy on the magical market. Making lots of hype and boy does it look good. It claims to render much sleight of hand obsolete. So here is the pros and cons of this in my jaded eyes.

Pro:
-Looks damn good

Cons:
-Long sleeves required. (At least the raven could be done with short sleeves)
-Fooking expensive
-One trick pony
-Easily accessible to the mainstream market.

Can you tell I'm not gonna buy one. See I believe magic is an art and by practicing not only my skill but presentation and performance skill I can further it and do the same thing for cheaper. Someone once told me you don't have to be the best.. but you DO have to be the first. If someone sees the linking rings done by someone else and then they see you yer gonna be that "other" guy.

"I saw this guy do this once before. He was AMAZING."

So with everyone buying this item I would rather stick to sleeving. I mean if they are gonna be there anyway might as well. Most of the people who will use this will do the AssHat thing. Walk up, do the trick and walk away. Good way to get them to remember YOU. Making the magic the focus only gets you so far in my opinion. So while this looks good the smart ones will use it sparingly at just the right moment in the structure of a much larger routine. Personally I don't wanna be strapped down with a thing on my arm and anchored to me screwing with my mobility. Give me that old time religion.

I sense magical masturbation on the horizon. More time in the bathroom in front of the mirror than with actual people. Hell I thought the raven was a great item... for spare parts anyway.

I can't wait till' the next great white hype.

Bizzaro.

While we're waiting for more people to answer my Vernon/2Pac contest, here is a little something for those of you who may have wondered where we got the term SmappDooDa. Go to http://smappdooda.com/smapp.html and click the link near the bottom of the explanation. Now you too will see how it came into this world kicking and screaming.

By the way I did get one entry so far and I quote:

I have two answers.

1. Both got a lot of pussy during their hayday.

2. Nada fuckin thing.

I can't make this stuff up folks...

Bizzaro.

What do these two men have in common?





Email me your answer and if it's the right one I will email you something back worth at LEAST 10-15$.

Who's yo Daddy foo?

Bizzaro.

Ok so I have said before that Magicians reside right below jugglers and somewhere above certain mimes on the ladder of entertainment. Two of the biggest applause getters in the business are juggling and fire eating. Most people have tried juggling and know it's hard. Most people know fire is hot therefore it must be dangerous. If you wanna throw in dove magic you can but it is cheap applause.

Regardless, my point is... this will get hired over most other novelty acts. Why? Cause' they know/ think it's more impressive.

I sacrificed a social life for this?

Bizzaro.

Card to.....

Jean Pierre Vallarino appeared on WGM back in the day. While the camera angles were not his friend, he did some amewsome stuff. If you hop onto your friendly neighborhood torrent program you can find him performing better on Cabaret Du Monde (A french TV show).

Anywho, in the search of the best and most impossible card to wallet effect, I think his newest needs to be mentioned. Poche A Poche, (which I assume is french for something... I suppose I could look it up but hey, I'm lazy), is a very convincing way to have a signed card go to a wallet. Watch the demo and you will know what I mean. The method is one of those, "Dammit why didn't I think of that first" kinda things. The principle can be applied to many other ideas I feel however.

Check it out it's a pretty thing.

Bizzaro.

URETHRA I GOT IT!!!

I always thought urethra sounded like a Godzilla monster... don't you? Anyway I think I figured out where Criss Angel came from.. check this!

Who remembers this show?


Yah me too. I liked it. Remember this guy?


Well think about it.. who does he look like I ask you...


Don't see it yet? How about this...


Hmmm.. see I think no one has seen him cuz' he grew his hair long, went on a drug and drinking binge aaaaaand now...


Do you see it now?

Bizzaro.