What about now?

Walking in Brussels, Belgium tonight I had something run naked thru my head.

Forget everything you know about magic competitions, conventions, and really any performer no one outside of magic has heard of.

Now list me off ANY modern magicians that are well known who perform card manipulation in their shows… aaaaaand GO!

(Jeopardy theme plays)

Times up!! I can see your answer clearly in my mind. It's... Lance Burton!

How did I know that? Simple. There are no grey elephants in Denmark! It's also because he is the ONLY correct answer in the last 40 YEARS!! (also he is no longer working so there really is no answer)

So think about that a bit. Could it be it's a form of amusement relegated to magic competitions to fill time and scores? Might it be anachronistic and out of place in modern society? How about it makes NO DAMN SENSE!

Now to be fair when people see it done right (I can only think of two people who this applies to right now) they seem to enjoy it but on the whole there is a reason you don't see it in ANY Las Vegas shows right now...

Aside from the fact it's also hard as hell to do it well.

In yo face!!

I am going to make a video journal about this and go into more detail. For now I just want to ask all of these younger magicians if they know the companies who release their magic are screwing them over on the recognition factor?

Think about it: They put THEIR logo onto it and your face is rarely seen. No one knows who you are or what you look like!!

Something to chew on...

Vogue...

It's no secret I really dislike photos of magicians with other well known magicians on working websites. No one cares ok?

Second, and this is for the pros, do something interesting in your photos people take with you other than look goofy and half smile. Sure it's a hassle to you but at least make some effort to make something that looks better than some half-assed yearbook snapshot.

You don't have to mug but at least stand up straight and pose a little. Grab a prop. SOMETHING!

This message brought to you by the internet on a train to Belgium.

Giraffed...

I was hanging out with Alex Kolle in Nurenburg the last couple days and we did something kinky... we shared gaffs.

I carry a cadre of weird (mostly) card gimmicks with me in my close-up bag. (yes the stage magician had a close-up bag. Get over it.) It was a lot of fun because a hadn't messed with a number if them in over a year or two. Many of them just sit there to show friends or toy with when I am bored.

Alex has some pretty kool ones. Just ideas he made but never did anything with because he had no reason to use them.

I then had a realization about all of this. Serious performers know the difference between a gimmick and magic. There are far too many idiot kids out there releasing untested or unnecessary tricks into the world just because they are "cool".

Listen, creating is fine and dandy if it's for you but selling something to the mass heard of magic sheep just because you know it will sell makes you an evil fuck in my book. Collect these ideas and make a DVD with the ideas, or lecture notes, or Anubis forbid a book (gasp!)

Stop cluttering our vision with your inventions. Just because T11 gives you a place to sell it doesn't mean you should do it.

We need a magic "Better Business Bureau".

Just do it!

No I am not having a psychotic episode that causes me to title my posts with old Nike slogans. I am merely giving you some advice.

Last night after my lecture in Frankfurt, I had a lengthy conversation with a magician about creativity and the like. In the middle of the talk I had a revelation and want to share it with you my demented disciples.

It is thus: The best way to be creative is to create. Don't be afraid to fail. Keep working til you get something!

As someone who comes up with ideas in various mediums I can tell you that they often do not look like what I want at the beginning. No matter how much I may doubt it I ride it out to see what's going to happen.

Sometimes when you make a new effect or move it might not do what you want but DO NOT stop. Keep making that prop or working on that slight until you get something usable!

Of course there are the times it won't work and you have to start over. Just make sure starting over us the only other option. On the upside you now have narrowed down one less thing NOT to do. Sometimes setting it aside and coming back to it is the better solution. Think of attacking it from a different angle.

Creating isn't easy but don't let if get you down. Never give up.

Never surrendeeeeerrrrr!

Under the wires...

Hey Google wised up and finally made a Blogger app. This way I can easily update from wherever I am, which in this case is Switzerland.

I have been keeping tabs on the new Theory11 idea that sat dormant for many years. It was such a source of speculation for so long it could have been a photo of two rhinos getting jiggy with it and the kindermagi would have been happy as punch.

Despite what I am pretty sure it was gonna be and what it became is neither here nor there. It is now here... For better or for worse.

This is yet another addition to our instant gratification consumer society. I believe with the ease and speed at which magic effects can now be released for a nominal fee it will drive the value of unpublished material way up.

Something that cannot be easily attained will be that much more clamored for. Along the same vein the low price of much of the glut of current effects released will cheapen the material made available due to the law of supply and demand.

So while any number of vapid 15 year old wannabes who could only amuse their mildly retarded housepets fill our lives with their "new" magic, I think I will just travel the world and spread my creations the old fashioned way...

Like Cain from Kung Fu.

Ear Regular

So a Japanese company has put out a deck of "Irregular" playing cards. My first thought was "Big deal Bicycle cards already come like this sometimes".

You may think that is a joke, but the last deck I opened, one of the joker's back design looked like I was about to do Luke Dancy's "Misprint" trick.

Still kinda cool.

Leaking from the ears...

Today was a strange day on Facebook. Various friends posted three different articles on "creativity". While I disagree with a few of the things they suggest, I found one that amused me and thought relevant to this journal in particular.

And I quote:
"Cohen once showed a card trick to TV magician David Blaine. Blaine loved the trick but hated the presentation, saying it seemed too rehearsed. "People should feel like you're talking to them for the first time," Blaine told Cohen.

Polish your pitches until they're perfect, then add sprezzatura--the Italian concept of studied carelessness. Find ways to come across as organic and accessible, not canned and mechanical.

The poet James Dickey said he prepared 150 drafts of each poem--the first 100 to get it perfect and the last 50 to make it sound spontaneous."

A lot of performers suffer from too practiced. They do something so much it becomes as annoying as whatever phrase restaurants make people who answer the phone say. "Hello my name is so and so, thank you for calling Bob's House of Pork home of the Big Red Monkey Beat Down. How may I begrudgingly help you?"

Don't you hate that? How do you think your audience feels? If you are just going through the motions, stop using those motions... or that script... or that trick. If you are bored with it, they are too.

60,221,211 Italians can't be wrong.

Greetings Earthlings

In half an hour (7:00 PST Wed.) we will have our first Live Why Am I stuck In Magician Hell video Broadcast. Where? Here!

Thanx for watching. The plan is to do one every Wed. if I can help it. If you missed it, you can see it on the channel. If you have any ideas or requests let me know!

I am the Martin Luther King of Love tonight...

So tonight, I had a bad set with a routine I haven't been entirely happy with. I been racking my smooth brain about how to make certain aspects make sense and to make everything work smoothly. Well I am here to tell you a secret. Something that will help you in the future.

Pay attention to your screw-ups!

It is said that you learn more from failure than success. Tonight for me was a testament to that saying. After I got offstage I was going over all of the ways to fix the rough spots in said routine. I then hit on an idea to move the props to another receptacle (one that made sense) and fixed some inner workings. I am almost certain to say this will make the routine stronger and easier to perform. None of which would have occurred had I not been so upset about the performance.

So heed my advice: It's ok to get mad about a bad show, but think about what went wrong and FIX IT!!

Now I can relax...

Guess what...

Who do you want to be today?

I was talking with another magician at a party recently and we both came to the agreement that you need to be a person first and a magician second. Magician is a vocation, not a personality trait. Mind you some people try to substitute one for the other and it don't work like that folks.

Take away their deck of cards and some guys become a two dimensional cardboard cut out. No depth, nothing to say, and is about as useful as a used prophylactic. Here's a tip, get your head out of youtube and take a look at the world around you.

This also applies to those not able to "turn off" the douchey magician personality. Some guys are just egotistical nutsacks who really need a swift kick and reality check. Card tricks don't make you better than anyone. If you really must feel superior to people just buy a Macintosh computer (No that wasn't called for. yes I had to say it.)

So the moral to my story is thus: Be cool.

I love it...

when magicians keep links to their websites online in various places and the link doesn't work anymore. Makes me wonder if they work anymore....

It's shake and bake and I helped...

Someone told me about a website where you can get all sorts of crazy stuff done for only $5.00. The idea of this amused me so I went to take a look and realized how bad an idea this is after I did a search for the word "Magic".

Undercutting people in price is an American tradition, but this is ridiculous.

You think there are people out there trying to teach others ballet or painting for 5$ to pick up chicks? Is it any wonder we are a joke to people?

Anyone? Bueller?

The cost of living...

So this isn't so much a post as a question for some research: How much is too much to pay for a good magic DVD? Email me your answers (Smappdooda@hotmail.com) or just throw it up in the shout box.

Thanx.

Is it live....

First off:


Second, should I do a live video version of these posts? Would anyone watch or care? Tell me in the shoutbox to the right.

Just a Friday post...

Hey did you know we have a new DVD coming out? Well guess what...


Now yah do!

In my pants...

What the hell is wrong with us? What happened to holding on to something and putting it on a video compilation, in a book or in some notes. Why do we feel the need to fill the marketplace with these one trick items that only work for a handful of people.Things like this bottle production that fat guys could NEVER do.

Let's leave the stuff with limitations in the lectures ok guys?

Hey big spender...

So today I needed to make a prop more visible from stage, however I needed something that would be flexible and durable. I only needed maybe a shot glass full but had to buy a large container to get that shot of yellow goo. So 9$ later my prop is finished and I have a huge container of tool dip that I have nothing else to do with.

This is the joy/pain of creating your own stuff and trying to make the magic better. However I am here to say to you now: Don't be afraid to spend the money on something you need!

Do you only need an 1/8th of a can of spray paint in a color you won't ever use again? Will it be worth it or make a prop better because of it? If so, BUY THE DAMN PAINT! It might seem like a waste to you, but it's actually an investment (and tax write off) that will make you look better in the end. O course if you don't have the funds to grab simple stuff like paint or whatnot, ask some friends. You never know what they have lurking in their garage. Also check online for cheaper prices.

Sometimes however, spending the money can't be avoided so you just have to save up to get that part you need. Just make sure you know FORE SURE it's what you need. It sucks to buy something that you can't use.

So the next time you grimace at that 5$ you have to drop on some bauble to improve a prop, just remember it's all worth it in the end....

Maybe.

Now hear this!!

Are you sick and tired of sound men blowing a cue so simple as "Pause"? We all suffer from this affliction. However there is a product I have found (and successfully used) that will help alleviate all of this. It's called Ijet. If you own an ipod, iphone or an itouchmyselfwhenIthinkofyou then this is a must have to those who have music or cues in their act.

Now back to the show...

Snip, snip....

Dear magicians,

Please stop using your fingers like scissors to "cut" rope. It's insulting to the audience's intelligence and gives away the method. Find another joke that is not so tired and over-used.

Thanx,

The mngmnt.

PS: If I went back in time and Killed Tabary, what do you think modern rope magic would look like?

Who was that masked man?

I was recently at Magic Live talking with Steve Brooks (Yes THAT Steve Brooks) about the silliness of magicians and anonymity on the internet. Anyone who has been reading this thing for.. however many years it's been now, knows I will gladly own up to anything I say and defend it. If I didn't mean what I say, I wouldn't say it. Sure it might not make me many friends but if someone is going to get in a snit over something someone says about them on the internet, I don't want to be friends with those people anyway.

On the flip side, there is a certain bit of truth in being anonymous. (Just ask those anti-scientology people) You can find out just how they feel and get a better truth when they are protected. In some ways it's the only way for some people to be themselves... by NOT being themselves. It's an odd dichotomy. The main drawback of course is that if you get too mouthy and then found out, you can have a world of hurt brought down upon you.

So for you magi out there who think yer hot shit because you are a faceless entity in cyberspace just remember there are people smarter than you with better toys and if you push the line too far, you just might be in a bit of trouble for a while.

Now here's Tom with the weather...

Fly you fools!!

Before I toddle off to my (very) late night gig, I want to share with you one of the thoughts that crossed my mind at the recent PCAM/CAM convention (Which was killer might I add).

I have talked about how we know the end of the trick so we forget that the audience doesn't also share this arcane knowledge. This fact tends to put us into a rut of crap performances and I hit upon a reason why...

We forget to make the journey interesting because we already know the destination.

we just want to get to that wow moment. Like an over-zealous teenager who tries to undo that bra too soon, we jump the gun and just leave the best moments flapping in the breeze as it were.

A lot of times stepping back from out material and looking at it as if we had never seen it before can be beneficial. Look at the build up (if there is any) as if you didn't know the end game. You might find some ways to make the outcome more interesting and the ride there more exciting. Let's face it...

Getting there is half the fun.

Resist!!

In my lecture this weekend I tried to hammer home the ability to be creative is to put restrictions on yourself. If you have read my Creativity Notes then you know what I mean.

As an example, have a look at This. The makers of the short films were allowed to ONLY use the same 6 lines. This makes them focus on how to tell a story without saying too much.

As magicians we tend to be wordy bitches and rely and over-explaining things. Why not limit yourself to as little dialogue as you can and see if you can tell the same story. You never know...

It just might change your life.

Pick one please...

Hey, female magi, do me a favor. Please stop putting your "modeling" shots into your promo material. I know someone with a camera said they were gonna make you look purty.. and they most likely did but leave the non-magical shots on your facebook page or make a separate site for modeling stuff ok?

We get it. We know you have breasts and you are attractive. That will only get you so far... well in magic anyway. In life it will get you everywhere...

What was my point again?

Mod and Fab...

So I have removed the polls featured and decided to try out a little tagbox on the right side. For those of you watching us from an RSS feeed, come by the real site and say hello.

More blather soon...

Are you threatening me?

Some of the best creative innovations start out with "What if?"

I'm surprised...

Roland hasn't posted this before me...

Remember VHS?

I had a realization in my kitchen. No matter the format, there have always been mediocre magicians putting out shoddy videos just because they had access to the equipment. The only difference now is the cameras are nicer and the output if higher.

The moral of the story is magicians have sucked for a very long time.

Like yoda only cheaper...

Have you ever seen someone who advertises themselves as "So-and-so: Master Magician"? Of course after you watch their act you realize they are under some sort of delusional alien influence?

Here is a little something to gnaw on in your brain kiddies: A true master never says that he is.

This thought brought to you by Kung-Fu Panda

Den of...

As I am preparing for my lecture in Tuscon tomorrow and looking over random notes, I came upon a thought I had jotted down in my phone.

Thieves are not competition.

Anyone who would purloin someone else's art will never be in your arena to pose a threat to you IF you are a true professional and truly want to make something of yourself and your career. If someone steals from you make sure they know you don't like it, but move on and become bigger and better than them. There is no better revenge than success...

aside from having sex with their girlfriend of course.

Isn't that my couch?

Dear magicians,

If you dress in an eccentric costume or play and eccentric character outside of the norm, please stop doing fucking card tricks. It's anachronistic. It doesn't FIT. You can probably use tarot cards or maybe cards made of wood or metal if you insist but they are out of place with a style of dress that is already out of place.

Thanx,

The mgmnt.

Waxing poetic...

I wish I could quit you...

Yo mama...

I think magic inventors charge so much for their products merely out of spite. Dealing with some of these people just makes you so angry you want to put them in the poor house for revenge.

Just sayin'...

Silver spoon and a paper plate...

So while I troll the cafe looking for amusement I came across This Thread.

After reading it I agree with a few of the other people on there. Let me quote a bit: "You want your magic spoon fed to you on a silver (expletive deleted) platter. He shows so many different effects and possibilities on the demo, you didn't actually think that's what you were buying is it? It's a utility gimmick and I got that right from the demo watching it ONCE. Have we become so reliant on other people just handing us a routine that we can't think for ourselves anymore? Maybe you should just step away from the "Buy Now" button if you are gonna just take your ball and go home when you have to think for yourselves every so often. Oh "boo hoo" I can't do this one thing. DO YOUR OWN THING!!"

I don't think I could have said it better. Have we really become this co-dependent? Who is to blame? The creators or the consumers? Fuck it, let's just start making up excuses so we don't have to take responsibility for our own stupidity. The sun was in our eyes, my parents didn't hug me enough, my parents hugged me a little TOO much, the dog ate my homework, I'm a bi-polar manic depressive anti-social midget albino! I CAN'T THINK FOR MYSELF!!!

I hope I made my point...

Old busted hotness...

So in an effort to spice up your lives, my store front has undergone a new look. It also has it's own home too at www.Bizzar-O-Matic.com. (Mobile version coming soon)

Also, don't forget, Helter Shelter; The Movie is STILL only 10$ until the end of May... so hurry up and buy it already!!

Phear...

I used to say I weep for the future of magic. I have come to realize that magic will be fine. There are some very focused on magic only youngsters out there. Mind you they have no other interest and just create magic for the sake of magic. I now am afraid for the future of not magic... but entertainment.

Thankfully every so often I meet a youngin' that restores my faith in the fact that being a performer means something and that there is still hope for not just magic but the art of mass amusement as well.

So for those magical Che Guevaras of you out there, I salute you.

Produce

As a magic product releaser type person, I sometimes feel a twinge of guilt. If I could just will these products into being without any overhead, I would likely give the ideas away because I like to think they are good and that good magic should be out in the wild.

It's such a slippery slope I am on with my beliefs on magic capitalism and the product I release. I am in a love/hate relationship with the fact that this is how I make my living right now. It's great to have your stuff appreciated but on the other side of the double sided two-face coin, it kind of sucks that this is what it takes to get noticed in magic.

I have been at two magic conventions this week. I noticed something strange. If someone show you a sleight you have never seen, you don't ask them if they sell it. You might ask to learn it or if it's published somewhere. However, if you show someone a tangible toy that fools them and they have never seen, then they ask if it's for purchase. This is kinda fucked up if you ask me... which you didn't.

Isis forbid you do something killer that you aren't willing to part with for a tiny bit of your soul and some cold hard cash. In this day and age, everything is for sale and when it's not, people look at you like the RCA dog.

Just something to think about...

New version...

Dear magicians,

can we stop putting 2.0 next to every release you put out because you realized yer original sucked? Why not wait a while before you release it so you don't have to pretend yer a computer programmer?

Thanx,

The mngmnt.

pee ess...

I feel this way about the magic cafe sometimes...

Hidden in plain yogurt...

There is a concept in magic that I think takes more skill than any manipulation. It's using comedy as a subtlety.

If you find yourself trying to accomplish a move or maybe needing to get one object somewhere else all sneaky like, why not hide it in comedy.

Sometimes an idea requires something a little sneakier than just plain old misdirection. Sometimes it requires bawls. Having the confidence in yourself and your material to just blatantly make a joke of it. It's not a talent you can buy or learn from any book. It's just good ol' fashioned experience. So the next time yer stuck, make it funny.

Helps with sex too...

Quothe Jimmy Walker....

"KRYP-TO-NITE!!"

Ok so maybe I am paraphrasing a bit. I have been sitting on this thought for a while and since I haven't said much in a while, (and I am reorganizing my character and creativity lecture soon), I thought I would finally hash this ramble out.

Jon Armstrong has a concept he spoke about in (I think) Genii magazine a few years back and I also believe it's part of his lecture. He speaks of trying to figure out your super power. What can you do better than anyone else. You shouldn't be able to do everything on the same level.

While I like the concept I think it is going in the wrong direction... at least for me.

One of my creativity tenets is "magician, restrict thyself". So in the yin to Jon's yang (That sounded less dirty in my head) I offer this thought. Decide what powers you DON'T have.

I will start. I am not a levitator. I do not make things rise in the air. Plain and simple. I don't float shit... in any way. Not with my mind nor with some mysterious spooky powers. Period.

This concept will not only allow you to work on the things you can do, but help you filter out the stuff you won't do. Decide here and now if you don't play with fire... or multiply things... or possibly bend helpless flatware with your brain. Make the decision that you don't create life or pluck paste boards from the air now!

This line of thought is not meant to be an opposing view but more as an addendum to an already solid concept. They are essentially the same thing. One gives you options and the other hones those options to a fine point. The rest is up to you.

Anubis help us all.

I get by with a little...

So one of our fellow amusing wordsmith of the magic variety has a contest like thing going on and has asked me to help spread the word like an STD.

So watch the video and give it a thumbs up will yah? You'll be glad yah did.

Words of wisdom... now in song form!!

Yes I realize the irony of this video on this journal. Shut it.

Create?

Can't find what you are looking for?

Make it.

With the proper amount of force...

As I get older and work more and more on stage doing stand up I find that some things in my perspective change.

Such as card forcing. If you can't do a classic force, then maybe you shouldn't be doing a trick where forcing a card is required. On stage I think the force has to come off as fair and open as possible. Slip force, hindu, or any other convoluted cluster fuck card handling just won't do.

Close-up is a different animal because you can still misdirect in close quarters. However if you work stage, you need to make sure it looks like you have little to no control over the pasteboard proceedings as possible.

Just a thought...

Puff, puff, bitch...

Someone pointed something out to me today that is very amusing. Humans are, by nature, contrary beings. We love hypocrisy even when we can't spell it.

The entertainment world (as well as the world in general) is full of people who do illicit things. Many of them indulge in some recreational cigarettes that johnny gubmint isn't too keen on. Mind you these are the same people who don't condone piracy because it's "wrong and illegal". I got news for you boyos who do this, you can't really pick and choose. You will, but then your argument will become invalid.

So the next time someone is waxing poetic about their loathing of people who download magic off torrent sites while passing around a spliff, call them a hypocrite and tell them to stop bogarting that shiz.

Then go pirate something of Eric Mead's just to piss him off.

Turn on the angry music...

Sometimes it irks me when people I know full well hardly do gigs and call themselves a "professional" this or that. In the states, I have heard the status of "pro" is defined as someone who makes most if not all of their living from some form or something or other. So I suppose if you do nothing with your life and do a performance once or twice a year and they pay you, that definition holds true. Ah loopholes.

In other places, I have seen it referenced that if you are proficient at something you are a pro. I know many people who are great technicians with cards but can't entertain a thought let alone a group of people. Does this make them professional? I say no. I'm not saying you need to be a ninja master of what you do, but you need to be coherent in as many of the aspects of what your job entails. (This of course is mostly geared to the entertainment business. Not a lot of lawyers or accountants throwing this term in front of their monikers.)

I believe it is up to you to decide but you need to be honest with yourself. Just because it sounds good on a business card doesn't make it right. Sure, you can lie to yourself but eventually you will be found out. The proof is in the pudding... or the yogurt or wherever it's supposed to be.

Put that in yer pipe and smoke it.

HI PIG!!

I saw this on another magic blog and really liked it.

On another note: I am glad to see so many liberally minded magicians speaking their mind on the internet nowadays. I don't mean those armchair asshats over at the green weenie either. I am talking about people who don't like their language watered down. The ones who see something wrong around them and aren't afraid to stand up and tell someone about it... even if that someone is the internet. In some small part of my brain I'd like to think I helped someone realize they had a place to say what they wanted to online instead of some crappy forum full of amateurs and douche canoes™.... much like how the Magic Circle jerk originally opened my eyes to this zany outlet lo those many years ago.

One for my homies...

Clever title goes here...

Two things,

One: If you are into weird presentations for magic and possibly sacrificing rubber ducks to Charles Nelson Reilly, then check out this e-zine, Bizarro. I have nothing to do with it, I just find it amusing.

Bee: Someone named DJ just emailed me about the hidden cash post and my junk mail folder ate it... so could you please resend yo. Thanx!

As you were...

Can I get some change?

There are some plots I am not into in magic. The bill change is one of them. Seems like a waste of power. However, much like Tommy Wonder, if I get to thinking about something I will work on my own touches for it. In an attempt to make a more foolproof version of the old 2$ to two 1's effect, I came up with an idea I think is of my own design.

Since I will probably not do this in my day to day routines, I am going to proposition you my dear readers. ("20 bucks, same as in town") I need some people to go out and test this in real world conditions and report back to me. So the next 5 people who email me will get an explanation of how the bill change is done BUT only if they will go out and see how it plays for real people. Free magic and all you have to do is perform? That's right, I am a kind and benevolent dog.

So hit me up before this offer ends.

Operators are standing by.

I just happen to have...

Remember a while back when I talked about how illusions were getting passe' for the modern audience? How they might be fooled but they just don't care? Well I think I stumbled upon another area of stage magic where the world might have just moved past it all.

Prediction effects

I have always said I don't believe coincidence is magic. It's too perfect if you will. "I just happen to have your card TATTOOED on my leg!" I think when you bring out some bring pop where you made a "prediction" ahead of time and the props look like they have been professionally made is just not believable.

Oh sure, just like the illusions they may not know how it's done and clap at it, but do they really care? Sure there are exceptions. However on the whole, I think we live in a more jaded educated world where we are no longer burned at the stake for being witches and people know what we are doing is mere trickery.

If you want to argue with me that people still come up to you and believe you have spooky mind powers go ahead. Those same people prolly go to psychics and believe fairies carry electricity into our light bulbs to make them illuminate. Sometimes, you have to look at the source.

I think it's more powerful to write the "prediction" down in front of them. That whole "before the show" shit has to stop people. It's just insulting to the audiences intelligence. If you are looking for filler and have to resort to mentalism, then you just aren't trying...

or don't care.

Flawed Logic...

Earlier today an associate and I were talking about how if a performer is TOO nice, he has little to no authority over a crowd and can be easily overtaken. The performer could be very edgy or authoritative off stage, but if he is a push over in front of s crowd, it can backfire.

No one on this PLANET is 100% shiny happy people. Everyone has flaws. It's why we tend to like some people. We can relate to someone who has some rough edges. We like that.

Magicians try so hard to be above everyone else sometimes that they become off putting and unrelatable to the people watching.

Even the nice guy needs an edge. Not necessarily being a dick onstage, but being a little mischievous or having a slight twisted sense of humor. The audience begins to like you more because you are like their friends. A little... off.

So if you wonder why you might not be getting that reaction you want, maybe be a little snarky from time to time.

Sometimes being bad can be good.

What's Japanese for Umbilical?

Be amused people!

This title is for Andrew...

Anyone who knows this journal will know I am a big proponent of females in magic. Well Paper Crane has finally done something interesting. So good on them.

Spread the word and let's see what comes of it.

Mars Needs Proofreaders!!

Alright, well maybe not proofreaders per say. However I am looking for some very brave souls who are willing to go thru the last 7 years of this journal and tell me their favorite posts.

I want to compile a "Best Of" and make it into something that resembles a book (Along with some other bonus stuff nyuk nyuk)

Anyone who wants to undertake this can just email me the dates and/or posts they find to be their favorites. It could be because they are funny, informative, or thought provoking. In return you will get a free copy when it comes out and even your name in shiny letters somewhere in the collected tome.

So step to my literate minions!

Choice of a new generation?

Jeff McBride hosts a weekly online session thingy every Monday. On there was someone I have known for longer than I want to reveal. He was asking people to suggest how they can get a younger crowd to come out to the magic conventions.

here is my suggestion: Get rid of the close minded ass clowns that you have booking the acts!! Far too often some has-been or wannabe magician has been put into a position of power and, as most do, abuse it by hiring the SAME DAMN ACTS YOU SEE AT EVERY CONVENTION!!

"I am hiring this act because I want to see him live." or "This guy is my friend. I should do him a solid."

These are the two scenarios that make the most sense to me because mental illness or retardation seem only slightly less logical. Hey, want to bring in a younger crowd? Here is an idea: Hire people you don't see at magic conventions!

Don't believe me? Let me paint you a picture. Last week of April, 2010 - Magic vs. Science at the castle (Or Magic Woodstock as some have started calling it). Rudy Coby brought in acts that had never or hardly worked at the castle and guess what? They had the highest growing April IN CASTLE HISTORY! Read that line again. Highest... Grossing.

So instead of blowing your budget on a few "names" why not line up some unknown talent. People on their way up in the magic world? Maybe some guys that the young kids want to see... gawd forbid.

If this is a trend you keep seeing and are sick of it too, let your voices be heard. Email, call, morse code your feelings to someone who might listen. They can ignore 1 or 2 angry letters but 100... 1000? That's a little more difficult. (I doubt there are even 100 people who read this, but you get my point)

So if some of you convention bookers happen upon this article by some chance, such as some disgruntled convention goes trying to open your eyes, don't ignore it. Look outside your own little close-minded tux and tails kinda world. Find out what the current generation wants to see and don't dismiss them because they are a bunch of youtube using window lickers (Even if they might be). They are paying customers you are IGNORING! Don't be that guy.

You know who you are...

Damn the man...

Fight the power!

(Real rant coming soon I think)

So, you didn't believe me when I said dancing cane was dead hunh? You scoffed when I insisted that it had been adopted by ravers and hippies hunh? Well here is proof that even your grandfather can do it.



Yah and guess what? They are being marketed to the general public as a "Flow-wand". Dancing cane is over. It's done. Snap yours in half. Point the blame at whomever you wish.

Besides, they are all better at it than you are.

Nice to see something different from time to time....

Magicians don't exist....

Just got done watching the movie L'illusionniste. It's a cute but depressing little film especially if you are an entertainer. It shows the decline of the variety arts in the start of the 60's. Back when live theater had to vie for attention against rock bands and TV.

Struggling is nothing new to someone who wants to be an entertainer full time but as I tend to say... The only ones who fail in this business are the ones who give up.

Our good friend Christopher Lyle, who you might remember from his cameo role in our PSA video, shared a story on the big green.

Tis' amusing.

PS: (Stole this from WMF) This is retarded.

Eat me/ Drink me

I believe that a lot of magic creators are not the best at performing their miracles. As someone who makes stuff I can attest that sometimes you get narrow minded about the one or two things it can do and you just kinda stop because it "works".

The reason I being this up is because I like magic with soda. Mostly canned drinks. So despite what Roland might think of him, Michal P. Lair has some clever stuff from time to time (And yes some of it isn't so much).

The first two things on that demo video I just linked to I like quite a lot. Very subtle and in the right situation can be very fooling. The rest... I'm not so sure about.

"In the right hands, that could be a miracle" - Roger Klaus to Steve Bedwell

Hey what's going on in France right now?

Dear magicians,

To those of you who think you can just get by on using animals and having money instead of cultivating talent...

Die in a fire.

Thanx,

Bizzaro.

Illusions of grandeur...

Looking at a photo of a "new-ish" illusion and I came to the realization that I think a good chunk of the public is over it.

I think magicians are, as usual, holding on to a tired concept for dear life in hopes it will bring them fame and fortune. All the while the rest of the world has moved on and left us in the dust. They want "reality", (or at least what they are spoon fed as reality), not big shiny boxes that take some suspension of disbelief on their part to make it work.

They want personalities to watch. They want to see stupid drama or interesting characters. People performing vivisection on themselves in some plywood prop just won't, pardon the pun, cut it anymore.

But I hear you clamoring, "Bizzaro you magnificent bastard, people still clap, ooh and ahh and even say they have no idea how it's done." Yah well most people don't know how a microwave works. You don't see them jumping to their feet when someone makes a pot pie do you? Getting a Pavlovian reaction from people and them actually enjoying it are two different things.

So sell those bulky boxes and spend that money on some acting classes or hire a director to make you more interesting. Still want to do illusions? Find a way around the box syndrome. Find a way to make YOU shine thru.

This... I command!

Now that I have dipped my toes into the infested waters that is magic downloads, I thought I would toss my hat into the political ring. Enjoy.

Everyday things...

I never set out to create something that is either based on an old principle nor for release to sell. However, it sometimes works out that way. Hence my first official foray into the world of magic video downloads:



Right now it's 12 dollars, but soon it will jump up to $16 so act now!

ALSO: I am offering one free download to the first person who can tell me where the name "Threek" comes from.

So take a stab at it, you might get lucky... ZING!

Love me me , kill me, fool me, bore me...

I have a love/hate relationships with acts like This.

An act like this can be very entertaining and commercial, however I myself would never want to do something this reliant on sound effects timing. If just one things gets off you are screwed and it gives you VERY little room for improv or having fun with the audience. It's almost like you are performing at them and not for them.

The plus side is you look very polished and practiced, but if you go too far certain moments can come off as fake and forced. It's a fine line you must walk if you plan to do an act like this.

Sound good?

Commercial magic...

I was just watching a commercial where women were randomly handing each other yogurt. I understand it's all metaphor and theatrics to sell product, but it's also insulting to the intelligence of the person watching the TV. They don't really expect us to believe that being handed a cupful of bacteria by a stranger is going to illicit anything but strange looks and possibly security being called?

I don't watch TV for this reason. Commercials are dumb. Some are clever, but they are few and far between. ow does this apply to magic you ask? Well I will tell you Mr. Happy Consumer.

Think how annoyed people get watching dumb commercials that insult them on a mental level. Talking down to them, forcing them to believe ridiculous premises... sound familiar? Do you think the same people who dislike that kind of mental bombardment appreciate it when they are NOT watching TV?

Look at your magic... closely. Do you have any routines, patter, or tricks in general that could be off putting to a thinking person? (If you work solely for mental midgets then I suppose you can ignore this post but for the rest of you.) It's like I always say: I like to insult my audience, but not their intelligence.

Stick that in your idiot box and smoke it.

Telling someone in Vegas you are a magician is like saying you are an accountant ANYWHERE else.

I forgot how fun and amusing it is to do magic to random strangers. If you haven't brightened the day if someone in the service industry in a while try it.

It's quite refreshing sometimes.

Snap into it...

I'm really getting sick of magicians starting their explanations with "Let's get into it".

Even our speech patterns are getting mundane now. Ugh!

So as we enter into the year that is new, I want to share a sentiment with you that I have adopted since moving to Vegas. Just think of this as a little something to take with you into 2011....

Never Leave Them Wanting Less

That's right, all of our lives we have heard "always leave them wanting more". Well on the flips side you can do too much and have your audience casing the joint for a speedy exit the moment you put on a blindfold or turn your back or, Anubis forbid, do a blackout.

I have seen many a show that could be saved by 15 less minutes of dancing or whatnot. I have sat thru shows that were only an hour but felt more like 3 days. How do you fix this? Be honest with yourself. Take a long hard look at your material. If you can't, find a friend to do it for you. If you don't have any friends because you are some mental hideous CHUD, then pay someone with better eyes than you.

Don't wanna go that route? Put a video camera on your audience. That will tell you all you need to know. By listening to the crowd, you learn a lot.

All I am saying is pay attention folks. Go forth into this new year with your freshly accumulated knowledge and better yourselves... if not for you.. then for the rest of us.

Now get out of here you crazy kids.

Thought I would share this weeks' itricks article with you.

Have at thee!

I wanna be blown away by a really good magic act again. I don't want to be fooled. I want to be entertained. Let me regale at the structure of a finely crafted bit of theater with magical overtones. Someone? Anyone?

Is that too much to ask?

Here's my cards...

Everytime I see a video like this:


That starts out with some potential, they have to bring fooking playings cards into the mix for no... damn.. reason. Guys listen, you do realize they are a crutch right? "Well I need some points for skill in my competition act... guess I'll use cards."

I almost turned the video off right then and there when they appeared. I decided to follow thru tho'. I think if the cards were justified like coasters possibly or just gotten rid of and find something unique to manipulate that would be much better. Better for who you ask? The public at large or a bunch of sweaty old fat guys at a magic convention?

You be the judge.

Duly noted...

I once had some ass clown magician review one of my early products and say that it should be in some lecture notes with other effects. I didn't disagree so that is now where the effect lies.

I worked in a magic shop at the time and saw many a one trick pony come across our shelves that were great ideas, but did indeed belong in a collected works or at the very least a linking ring one man parade. Some of these were clever, but rarely for the price tag charged. (23 dollars for a card box with a hole in it and some rubber bands? Really?)

Ah, but the internet and desktop publishing would soon herald in the apocalypse of 1 trick items that are clamored for and then forgotten like so much trendy refuse. I bring this up because I saw a clever trick that just got released. Seems a bit much for the price and I am sure could easily be a "Build it yo'self" kinda deal. (However, I know how lazy people are and they want it right here, and right now)

To be fair you have to start somewhere, and it is nice to see people releasing multiple effects onto one source every now again, regardless of how good the motivation is to perform them.

Cest' la vie

(Can you believe I've been doing this now for 7 years?)

Dear aggravating youtube generation,

I am effin' sick of kids (and I say kids because they all seem to be) who teach magic videos who have the conviction of a sack of wet hammers.

Why don't you little bastards put down the cards and read some books on performing hunh?

Also, quit ending every other sentence with "ok".. ok?

Sincerely,

ME and the rest of the world.

Dear magicians,

I beg and plead of you please, PLEASE stop doing vanishing bottle stock presentations.

Rub two brain cells together and think of something unique to do with the damn thing! I know, I know yer saying, 'But the standard right out of the box presentation that everyone does works!"

While this may be true, it makes you look like a damn hack jag-off.

Thanx,

Me.

For fuck's sake...

I get a lot of my inspiration for rants from watching the new magic stuff that comes out on the market. Today is no exception.

This diatribe has been a long time coming. I keep coming back to it because I don't know how to attack it properly. However with the influx of crap I have seen people putting into my world, I have to say something.

The above link is an example of creating magic for the sake of magic. As someone who creates a lot of stuff I walk a fine line ranting about it. Usually when I make something, I do so out of necessity. I'm not saying the others who pump out trick after trick with no basis for true impact don't. It just seems that they are trying to create just for the sake of doing so... or to make money.

There are a myriad of tricks being put out in the last year that are just magical masturbation. It's magic for no reason other than, "Hey look what I can do!" This is not a premise for good magic. Ok, ok it CAN be, but not for EVERYTHING you present.

When I see some of this crap I ponder about how one would get into this kind of trick, make it entertaining, or if it would have an impact on anyone watching it. Personally I want every effect I do to be amazing across the board. I don't want "that was ok, that was good, that was great, that was meh". I think when you start trying to saturate your life with magic that holds no purpose other than to be magic, you will end up with a ton of mediocre effects in your repertoire.

However, I am not all doom and gloom on this subject. The upside to creating too much magic is you have a catalog of methods and concepts that could lead to the next big thing no one has ever seen.

So the moral of my story is magic for the sake of magic isn't good entertainment. However I can't condemn anyone who wants to create. I'm not saying don't do it, but how about stop selling or publishing this lackluster shit? Let people save their money for something they might actually do more than twice.

Back to you Bob...

Dear magic producers,

Please stop advertising tricks with the tag line "From the mind of...."

It's passe, redundant, and annoying.

(Yes I have done it.. but like once... Before it was trendy. It won't happen again.)

Bizzaro.

I don't normally condone exposure but...

Fist off, I'd like to thank all of you who voiced yer opinion on my poll about magic demos. Maybe if we stand up to the people who are trying to screw us, the word will get around.

Regardless, on this TG eve, I find myself a little put out by an ad I saw on the back of a Linking Ring magazine. Here is the first line - "If you have not read and learned the magic contained in this book you have no business calling yourself a close-up magician."

I think this line of thinking is one of the MAJOR issues with magic. Elitist my-way-or-the-highway kind of thinking. There really are people who judge you on the books you have read, the material you do, or how good/bad your double lift is.

I know a lot of great close-up magicians (Notice I said magicians and not performers) who have probably never read nor owned this book. I myself have skimmed it, but couldn't tell you what's in it.

I am sure it's just ad copy meant to prey upon your insecurities much like most modern advertising, but come on... we're magicians. The concept of what you can or cannot label yourself based on what you have read or the material you, (and tons of other people do), is down right silly.

So there is something to talk about around the dinner table kids. From me to you, from you to the turkey, from the turkey to the bathroom.

Don't eat the yams.

Every time I see a bad performer on stage I want to jump up there and say this...

Topeka!!

I was talking to a friend of mine who is in a touring illusions show right now.

While pulling into the parking lot of a Wal-Mart to look for glue, I stumbled upon the inherent problem with most illusions. It's pretty simple and the concept is usually applied to close-up magic. I have talked about it on here before a few times.

Illusions have no Magic Moment™!

When was the last time you saw anyone actually cause the magic to happen with a big box or basket? What causes the girl to not be sliced in two? Why don't those swords pierce her scaly hide? Putting them into that confined space is NOT a magical moment.

My friend says he yells "NOW" when he produces someone in a crystal casket in the show. I can't say I agree that it's a magic gesture or some such, but it's better than nothing.

So to all of you people with big gaudy boxes and badly painted furniture, the next time something happens that is not "prop"erly motivated (get it?), think of something to do that looks cool or furthers the effect.

boo yah!

Speaking of product demos that don't lead you astray... Non-Toxic is now available!

Bow wow, woof woof....

Tonight I was having a conversation with a friend about the various perspectives one might take on magic demos that fake the method to sell the item.

This came up due to an effect released recently called Sleeve Star. I do a lot of sleeving and so when something new involving this technique hits, I like to research it... especially if it costs $150. I was hoping around from message board to message board and made my way over to the big green weenie where I found a post about how one of the demos is misleading.

So I watched the demo in question and I found it suspect as well. I talked with one of our local magic shops about the effect and how it works and have come to the conclusion that they are trying to hoodwink everyone and the demo is indeed faked with duplicate coins.

This pisses me off no end jack.

I believe that if a product you release cannot stand up on it's own merits in real time on camera then you need to not sell it or fix it so it does as advertised. I am against false advertising in the magic world. making a quick buck off the uninitiated is dirty pool and I will not stand for it.

Now there have been various product demos over the years that have omitted details to outright tricky editing to make their product look a certain way. I have heard all of the arguments as well. "It's representing what the spectator sees" or "If we showed them everything, they would figure it out and not buy it." How about this... fuck you. If you have to lie to yourself that much to sleep at night, fine. It's unethical, scummy, and downright underhanded. Just know that there is at least ONE person who is out there looking for you and your false BS. I will stand up and tell you the emperor has no clothes. What the rest of you choose to do with this information is up to you. I suggest speaking up and showing your displeasure at this kind of practice. Send a message to those who would subdue us.

I want to hear what YOU think. Look at the poll box on the right side of the screen. Let me know where you stand. Maybe we can send a small message out into the ether.

Sometimes doing the right thing, means you do it by yourself.

I seldom like demo videos like this with wonky video editing. It says to me that if the creator can't get it smooth in one full take, then what chance does someone who is buying have performing it in real situations?

Just sayin'.

Am I being lazy? Yes.

Am I going to post someone else's blog to read? you betcha.

Will I be back on anytime soon? Probably after this weekend performing at the Magic Castle.

Touch of DEATH!

Ok so everyone who sucks at the one handed top palm, raise your hand. Wow that many hunh? yah me too. Never was too good at it.

Well rejoice heathens because someone has worked long and hard to make our lives easier. Glenn Morphew has released a new method thru Vanishing Inc. For $10.00 there is no reason you should pass this up.

I have been playing with it off and on the last few days and it does work and works well.

Pimpin' ain't easy.

Bizzaro.

I haven't forgotten about you my friends. I have just been busy. So until I get back into rant mode, watch this:


Bizzaro.

Shake it baby...

I went to a burlesque show this weekend and observed something amusing. These gals have the exact opposite problem as magicians.

They have the moves and the look, but can't handle props very smoothly. Magicians can handle the props, but lack the moves or presence.

Of course this is not a blanket statement about everyone, but a good majority of what I have seen. I believe the reason lies in the fact that if you believe you have "mastered" one aspect of your performance, you think you can master the rest yourself. Many dancers I have spoken to about using a director have said, "I do all my own choreography". That's fine but let me tell you something, DANCING IS DIFFERENT THAN CREATING A ROUTINE WITH PROPS!! You need to consult someone who knows what they are doing when you have limited knowledge in that area. You can be the best dancer in the world, but if you don't know how to sit in a chair properly, it can look clumsy and awkward.

The same goes for magic. Just because you can do card manipulation doesn't mean you know how to put an act together. Don't be so damn stubborn that you won't look to someone else who has expertise in the area of structuring routines. It is an art in itself to create a pleasing flow that combines movement, prop management, and skill.

Art should learn from art.

Just a little tip for all of you up and coming magic instructional video makers out there: Putting pieces of production equipment in the background looks like crap.

Lighting trees, microphones, curtain rods, all of it, looks unprofessional. It's not artsy. It's stupid.

Thank you,

The mngmt.

It cracks me up all of the people who honestly think anyone but a singer/ musical act has ANY chance of winning AGT. All of the magicians were getting a semi because guys were making it farther than anyone else ever has. I want to say this once and for all, and if any of you EVER doubt me again, I will stuff an Arby's roast beef sandwich in your nose... sideways.

America's Got Talent will NEVER be won by a variety act... EVER!! It is a glorified American Idol!!

Call me a naysayer or what have you, but not only does history show us what is to transpire, but the contracts the participants have to sign does as well. AGT is a corporation. An evil, faceless, money grubbing corporation. You THINK they are doing this show to help people? HA! They are trying to boost their ratings and make a fat buck off of middle of the road ma and pa six-pack. A musical act generates more revenue and product, therefore, they will always prevail where money is concerned.

So good for the guys who made it as they did. Hopefully they can make it into something more for themselves. That is what shows like that are for. To whore yourself out as much as possible.

Talents like juggling and singing will always win out over magic because very few people have ever tried to pursue magic as a full time career. They don't know the skill or dedication it takes to make it, so therefore they don't appreciate it. Our talents are to remain secretive to perpetrate the illusion of what we embrace. We are like actors creating a story, but because that story is not some "classic" known piece if thespian culture, it is often snubbed.

Is there a way to fix this? Probably not anytime soon. Not with shows like AGT making us look like idiots or not giving a proper chance to those who might actually deserve it.

"That's Life" - Frank Sinatra

Why do we do what we do?

I posed a question to a young magician the other day that I had never really asked anyone before, but afterward felt compelled to share it with the world.

This young man has a competition act and rarely performs for real audiences (non-magicians). I asked him if the act he performs is what he wants to do or what he thinks he HAS to do.

This is an important question to ask yourself. Are you doing the magic you truly want to do or are you merely performing effects you think you have to because of your title? Have you spent countless hours learning complicated sleights because deep down you marvel at the technical skill of it all or because it wins you points at magic competitions?

Take a good long look inside yourself and see what you truly love and find out if you are following that or if you are merely just being a magical cover band. Following your heart may not win you a shelf full of trophies but at least you'll be doing what you want with your magic. Life is full of choices and questions. Let me help point you in the right direction.

Are you creating the art that is you?

Bizzaro.

Happy Ending?

Alright guys, lemme set the record straight here, bigger is not better!

I see a number of magicians who think that the way to end a manip routine is to produce some big cartoony over-sized prop.

This makes you look like a children's magic show magician! Seriously. Using objects out of place with reality will not gel terribly well with a real world audience. They will more wonder where you got it from or who made it for you. Using objects people know and have handled and SEEN is usually the way to go. there are exceptions. If an object is fairly nondescript like a ball, then you are alright. Even jumbo playing cards are ok... in some instances.

You don't NEED that huge ending that everyone else does. There are other and usually better ways to finish. Don't rely on your props to get you thru an act, work on your personality and character and let THAT be your guide.

Put down the jumbo crack pipe folks, thaz all I ask.

Bizzaro.

Chicken Dinners?

Today is a little business day. First a quote ganked from Danny Hustle.

"The magic business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side" - Hunter Thompson.

Second, the winner of the closet contest hath finally been decided. However I would like to know why everyone likes the monkey? Regardless, Closet 5 COME ON DOWN!! Yours amused me the most. It was a very tough decision actually. I enjoyed the eye in the ropes. I even dug the condoms in the magic drawer (we all know they HAD to be for magic, because magicians don't get laid). Regardless, closet 5 gets our vote here at Fire cat Studios. So email me your address yo and we'll send you out yer swag.

lastly, Dan Sperry kicked some major tuches last night on AGT. He's gonna be back on again tonight, so vote for him you silly gits!

More ranting and drooling later in the week.

Bizzaro.

I think when your product gets made fun of on national TV (And exposed might I add) it's time to NEVER DO IT AGAIN! Burn your D'fingers folks. They are no longer useful.

Ugh...

Bizzaro.

Lap Banned...

Only a couple days left until the winner of the closet contest is announced. (The poll has nothing to do with the outcome by the way, I was just curious.)

It's been many years since I took umbrage with the asshats over at the Magic Cafe. I have sat "idly" by and watched people get their words hacked and slashed and removed because someone on a higher rung didn't agree with them. Now sure I understand outright being a douche online for no reason should get you smacked a little bit if you do it constantly, however I have seen helpful information get removed because someone "they didn't like" was writing it.

Well this time, I am going to point some big middle fingers at the green weenie once again because they have banned a friend of mine who was trying to HELP inform people about an illusion company who rips people off. Apparently ANYTIME this company is slandered, the posts get locked or magically vanish. No one knows why, but I suspect fellatio is involved.

Bad form to you soup kitchen. For shame... BOO THIS MAN!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

"America stands for freedom
But if you think you're free
Try walkin into a deli
And urinating on the cheese"

Bizzaro.

UPDATE: This just in!! Proof that the people over there do NOT care about you or what you think! The following is an exchange thru PM's and email. Enjoy!

Friend: After receiving a PM on the Café that my Snap Illusions thread had been deleted and it "was in my best interest" I didn't post it again and I shouldn't be making "ideal" threats, I replied with a brief:

"Dave (Scribner), you're an ass.

And it's spelled, "idle."

His reply? (My comments have been added for amusement in parentheses and non-italicized)

You're welcome to your opinion but the big difference here between me and you is I still have Cafe priviledges and you don't. (Apparently one of those privileges is not having a spell checker handy)

You obviously have no respect for the Cafe as you feel you can post whatever you want with no regard for the rules and you have no respect for Cafe staff, especially management. (There is no rule that prevents you from posting facts to warn others about fraudulent companies)

A simple PM, which was not required but sent as a courtesy, explaining why a topic was deleted, was received with antagonism, demands and idle (are you happy I spelled it correctly?) threats toward the Cafe. The Cafe is not, has not and never will be concerned with one person. (Read that line again!) You certainly aren't happy with our rules so you're probably better off visiting other forums. (Amen)

Are these the kind of people you want to help make money by visiting their site? They don't care about you and never have. Wake up and smell the hypocrisy!

Out of the closet!

So I finally have enough photos to call this a real contest. For those of you who might remember, I asked people to send me photos of their magical closets (Or drawers). Some of you did and good for you. We're gonna take a look at them here on the site and then I will let you tell me which ones YOU like in the poll section to the right. After that, I shall make my final decision and someone is gonna get a whole lotta crap in their mailbox. (Not literally, don't worry) So here we go, in no particular order...

#1


#2



#3


#4


#5


Stay tuned for the winner!

Bizzaro.